40: You Don't Need To Fear The Sacrament of Confession

Speaker: 00:00:06

Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to the ever be

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podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ centered life in today's

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modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to Ever Be.

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mari-wagner_1_12-17-2024_161058:

All right, been on my heart to share

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about for a little bit and one that's

been requested quite a few times,

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um, by you guys on my Instagram DMS.

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I've gotten a couple messages of people

asking me to talk about Confession

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into kind of break down a little bit

more about what it is, how to do it.

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Maybe it's been a while.

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Maybe you haven't gone to confession a

long time and you're kind of nervous.

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Um, or maybe like, just what can

it do for us in our faith life?

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And as we're in the midst of

this beautiful season of Advent.

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I thought it was a fitting time to

talk about it because actually Advent

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does have a penitential side to the

liturgical season, not as heavily

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as Lent does obviously, but it does.

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And I think that that's something

that we don't talk about a lot or

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put enough emphasis on obviously,

because we are in full like Christmas

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mode and celebration in this season.

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And especially since in our

culture, like Advent isn't a thing.

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It's really like, It's just

Christmas, you know, some people

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celebrate starting November 1st.

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It's like full on Christmas.

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Um, and so our culture doesn't really

allow us to have that space for Advent.

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So I think the whole like celebratory

part of, you know, the Christmas

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that we know in our culture kind

of takes over and distracts us

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a little bit from like the true.

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The true essence of Advent and the

fact that there is a little bit of

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a penitential aspect to this season.

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Advent is a time of preparation, of

waiting, of hope, um, of preparation,

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like I said, not just for Christmas, but

for Christ to come into our hearts, um,

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to be more fully like born in our lives

and in our families and in our homes.

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In one of the most powerful ways that we

can prepare ourselves for the coming of

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our Savior, whether that be on Christmas

or his second coming or our time to

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meet him at our death at our judgment.

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, right.

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That's what Advent also is about.

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It's about us reflecting on

his coming, whether it be this

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Christmas or his second coming and

how can we be prepared for that?

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And so a way that we can prepare

ourselves is by going to the sacrament of

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confession, reconciliation and respect.

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And receiving His grace, His

mercy, and starting anew.

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I know that sometimes confession can

be intimidating or it's something

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that we avoid because it's, yeah,

intimidating, um, but it's truly a gift.

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It's truly a, , powerful sacrament that

we should not shy away from and that

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we should not avoid because there is

so much goodness that comes from it.

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It's truly a place where God's

mercy and love meet us in the

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most profound and healing way.

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And so today I want to encourage you.

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I want to share some practical insights.

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I want to share some, , quotes from

the catechism that will help support

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this conversation and just hopefully

remind you why confession is a great

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idea as a practicing Catholic to go to

regularly and not just during Advent,

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but throughout the whole year, but

hopefully this is a little bit of a

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nudge for you to go to confession, um,

in these last few weeks of Advent, if

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you haven't already, and just truly

prepare yourself and enter in a little

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bit more prayerfully into the rest of this

Advent season before our savior is born.

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So to start, let's talk about what

the sacrament of confession really is.

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The sacrament of confession is

also called the sacrament of

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reconciliation, and it's one of the

seven sacraments of our Catholic church,

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which was instituted by Jesus himself.

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And we see this in scripture.

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John 20 22, 2 23.

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Right after his resurrection,

Jesus says to the apostles.

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Receive the Holy Spirit.

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If you forgive the sins

of any, they are forgiven.

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If you retain the sins of

any, they are retained.

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This was that like priestly

authority that he gave the apostles

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to forgive sins on his behalf.

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And what we believe in the Catholic

church is that the priest in that moment

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is actually in persona Christi, which

means that he's like standing in for

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the person of Christ and that it's not

the priest forgiving your sins, it's

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Christ forgiving your sins through the

ministry of his servant of God, right?

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The priest through his ministry,

the Lord is able to give us

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mercy and forgive us of our sins.

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right here in John 20 where we can read

exactly where Jesus gave his apostles

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this authority is just so powerful

because it shows us that God wants us

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to be forgiven and God wants us to seek

that forgiveness through this sacrament.

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Because he wants us to

experience his mercy.

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It's about healing.

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It's about restoration.

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It's not about making

us feel shame or guilt

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It's about bringing us back into that

beautiful relationship with him and

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giving us more wholeness more healing

And remember that the sacraments are

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avenues for grace and grace is this kind

of like mystical thing that we can't

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always like Put our, you know, pinpoint

what it is or how to describe it.

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But it's basically just this like

supernatural, like gift from the Lord.

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This like love that he gives us

this like easiness that he gives us.

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Grace is just like giving you

the ability to do basically what

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the Lord is calling you to do.

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Being a human is really hard.

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Living in this broken world is really

hard and doing what the Lord has called

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us to do without grace is super hard.

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And so we need grace to be able to

live a Christ centered life and to

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follow what God calls each of us to do.

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And so the sacraments are one of the

ways that we can receive this grace

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and the sacrament of confession,

you bet, is a really powerful

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avenue to receive God's grace.

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And I want to read from the catechism as

well, because I think it's so important

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to truly just go straight to the source

where the teachings of our church come

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from and to continue to form ourselves

in knowledge of what does my faith teach?

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Why do we do these things?

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So in the catechism in paragraph one,

four, two, two, It actually says those

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who approach the sacrament of penance,

obtain pardon from God's mercy for the

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offense committed against him and are at

the same time reconciled with the church.

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When we sin, we damage our relationship

with God and we saw that from the

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very beginning back in the garden.

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When the Lord says, you know, all of

this is for you to take and to eat except

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the fruit of the forbidden tree, Adam

and Eve disobeyed, and didn't trust

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the Lord and went and ate of the fruit.

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Sin entered the world and

this perfect relationship we

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had with the Lord was broken.

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And every time we sin, we kind

of like go back to that, right?

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Like our beautiful relationship

with the Lord was broken once

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again, and we need to reconcile it.

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And confession is this

avenue that we have to do so.

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And truly it's one of the greatest

gifts we've been given as Catholics.

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Not every Christian religion has this.

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It's a beautiful gift that we have to

restore our relationship with the Lord.

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So why is Advent such a good season

to seek the sacrament of confession?

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Advent is such a special season.

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It mirrors the call of John the Baptist

when he's preparing the way for Jesus.

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He says, repent, the kingdom

of heaven is at hand.

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Prepare the way of the Lord

and make his path straight.

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Think about this for a moment.

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Advent isn't just about decorating

our homes and preparing our home for

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the big party we're gonna have either

Christmas Eve or Christmas morning,

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and the opening of the presents.

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It's about preparing our hearts, our

souls, our mind, our families, and

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our homes for the coming of Christ.

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I think because it happened, 2000 plus

years ago, it's so easy for us to kind

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of just brush it off or just kind of

it for it to become just this, this

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buzzword of like, Oh yeah, the coming

of Christ or the newborn King, you know,

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but the reality is like, we remember

this every single year for a reason,

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because it is the most important thing

that has ever happened in history.

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The Lord's birthday, the day that God

decided to become incarnate, to come into

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our world so he could send us his son.

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and save us and open the gates of heaven.

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It's a big deal you guys, we have to

remember that that is the true reason

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for the season as cliche as that sounds.

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I love that saying because it runs and it

sounds great, but because it's so freaking

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true, this is the reason for the season.

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And so we want to make sure that

we are appropriately preparing for

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the spiritual reality that we are

celebrating on Christmas day One of

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the best ways to do that is by clearing

the clutter in our lives, right?

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And so personally I love to do a deep

clean of my home before christmas and

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then spiritually We go to confession

because we need to do a deep clean of

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our souls and kind of just clear out all

that spiritual clutter that we may have.

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And I just love that analogy.

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I think because it speaks so much to

me, I think women in general can relate

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to this a lot, but me especially,

because I really need a clean area.

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Like the peace that I feel when my home

is deep cleaned or like when the kitchen

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is clean and you know, there's no clutter

around and there's not like piles of

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laundry, the peace that I feel when all

of that is Done and organized and clean

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is so much, and I'm able to like think

clearly and like do the things that I need

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to do in my life besides tend to my home.

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It's so similar for us in the spiritual

life as well let's be real, nothing

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brings us more peace and joy than

knowing that we have been forgiven and

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that we are walking closely with God.

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So how often should we

be going to confession?

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Let's just talk about this as like

a general, like practice throughout

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the year, not just during Advent.

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How often should Catholics

be going to confession?

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I get this question a lot and

I feel like there are varying

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answer answers out there.

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So I just want to set the record straight

and hopefully it's helpful for you.

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The church officially teaches

that we must confess any mortal

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sin at least once a year.

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And this comes from the catechism

paragraph: 1457

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before receiving the Eucharist.

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The teaching of the church is that

you are not to receive the Eucharist

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if you are in a state of mortal sin.

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You can only receive the

Eucharist if you are Catholic

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and you are in a state of grace.

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What is a mortal sin?

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A mortal sin means that it's

something that is very grave.

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It means that you knew it was

very grave when you did it,

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and then you did it anyways.

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Those are the three criteria for

something to be a mortal sin.

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Venial sin basically means that you didn't

know it was a sin or it was a really

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small sin, um, comparatively and those

venial sins, uh, are removed, like you

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are forgiven and those venial sins are

removed when you receive the Eucharist,

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but the mortal sins, you must go to

confession to be forgiven for those.

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And in order to receive the Eucharist,

you have to be in a state of grace and

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have already confessed your mortal sins.

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However, the church also encourages

us to go to confession regularly

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throughout the year, because

let's think about it for a second.

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I don't know what your life is

like, what your sins are like, But

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it's very likely we're falling into

mortal sin more than once a year.

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And even if you've already overcome

like most mortal sin in your life,

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like we know that there are

many different ways that we are

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sinning throughout our life.

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And it is necessary for us to go to

the Lord and come clean and receive his

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grace in the sacrament of confession.

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Because this sacrament

helps us grow in holiness.

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I'm gonna read from the catechism

again in paragraph: 1458

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It says, the regular confession of our

venial sins helps us form our conscience,

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fight against evil tendencies, let

ourselves be healed by Christ, and

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progress in the life of the spirit.

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Like I said, when you go to confession,

when you receive the sacraments,

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you receive grace from the Lord.

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Supernatural.

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Grace, imagine if we

only went to confession.

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Once a year, we are missing out on so

many opportunities to receive supernatural

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grace, to continue in the fight, to

grow, to be strengthened in the face of

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temptation, to turn away from evil and to

choose the Lord and to grow in holiness.

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There are many amazing saints

that we know and love, like Padre

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Pio and JP too, that recommended

that we go to confession monthly.

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Why?

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Because the more we receive

God's grace, the more we grow in

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virtue and grow closer to him.

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Think of it like tending a garden.

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If we're regularly weeding out our sin,

the soil of our heart becomes more fertile

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for God's love to grow, for

virtue to take root, for holiness

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to take root in our lives.

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So let's get practical.

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If it's been a while since you went to

confession, let's just go over a few

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pieces of advice of how to prepare.

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One, you want to do an

examination of conscience.

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This is a step by step reflection that

leads you through the different things

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that you've experienced, different

actions you've taken, or even omission

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of actions that you've taken throughout

the past, you know, X amount of time

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since you last went to confession to

kind of reflect on how your life is

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aligning with the way the Lord wants

you to live the way he's calling you

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to live and different examinations.

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They'll all pretty much lead you

to the same place, but they'll

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take different approaches.

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One of them may have reflections

based off the 10 commandments.

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One might do it based off

the seven capital sins.

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One might do it based off of, certain

sins that are more prevalent in

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different stages of life for people.

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So if you look it up online,

there's examination of conscience

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for college students, for young

adults, for mothers and wives.

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Um, they all pretty much do the same

thing and we'll probably get you

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to the same conclusions to help you

reflect on any sins in your life.

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But, depending on where you're at in

your life, maybe one, the way one is

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worded will be more helpful than another.

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So to do this, just take some time

before confession, whether you want

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to go to the church, maybe 20 minutes

early, to just, Read through that

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examination of conscience reflect

and pray and just really ask the

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Lord to make those sins clear to

you on your heart I always do this.

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Sometimes you don't know everything.

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You don't remember everything, you

know, we're not all Constantly thinking

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about our sins all the time, and so

taking some time to pray to reflect

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and even just straight up ask the Lord

like Lord Any sins that are on my heart

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that I am not aware of Please reveal

them to me, please make them clear

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so I can bring them up in confession.

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That's really helpful.

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Second, be truly sorry.

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There's a difference between shame

and guilt and this sacrament is not

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meant to make you feel shame, but

guilt is actually a healthy thing.

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Guilt is something that the Lord has

given us, um, to feel in our conscience

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when we have done something wrong and

it indicates when we have done something

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wrong and feeling that guilt and feeling

sorry for our actions is truly necessary

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for us to really be able to enter into

the sacrament well and receive his grace.

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Because if we're not truly sorry

for something, we can't truly be

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confessing it and mean it right.

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And then we can't actually be open

to receiving God's grace because if

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you're not truly sorry for it, you

might not actually believe that you

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need forgiveness and God's grace.

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And so therefore you're not

going to be open to receive it.

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So you need to be truly sorry

and have a resolute desire to

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change your actions afterwards.

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So to never do those sins again, now we

know that we're human and that's probably

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not going to be true for a lot of us.

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We were going to sin our whole lives, but

we really, truly need to have the desire

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to turn away from sin and to do our very

best from that day forward to not do so.

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Then you're going to go into confession.

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You're going to do the sign of

the cross and you're going to say,

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forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

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Tell him how long it's been

since your last confession.

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So I say, you know, it's been a month

since my last confession, three years

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since my last confession, you know,

40 years, 10 days, whatever your

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time is since my last confession.

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And then I just go into it, right.

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And then you say, and you know, And these

are the things that I want to bring to

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confession today, or these are the sins on

my heart that I want to bring to the Lord.

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However you want to word

it and then share them.

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If you get nervous, I recommend that

you write them down on a piece of

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paper or on a notes app in your phone.

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Maybe as you're reflecting

on that examination of

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conscience, you can take note.

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Honestly, this is what I do because I

get nervous that I'm going to forget

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them and I don't want to forget my sins.

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I want to be able to confess them all.

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So I take note either on a notepad

or on a note in my phone, While I'm

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doing my examination of conscience.

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And then in that moment in confession,

I can read through them and I don't

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write them out like detail, you know,

word for word, I make little notes.

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And then in the moment when I'm confessing

these sins, if there's any other detail

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I want to add or any questions or, , any

specific moments that I want to bring

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up, then I'll share those in that moment.

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And then you can just say, you know,

and that's all that's on my heart.

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You know, and then the priest will

probably say a few words, depending on

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what the priest's time looks like, how

many confessions he has to get through.

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He might give you some words of advice.

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On how to overcome this sin or maybe

a different prayer so that you could

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incorporate into your life different

things like that he might ask you

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some questions and then he's going

to give you your penance and your

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penance is probably a prayer or

whatever action that he has you do to

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just like finish this the sacrament

to just to complete the sacrament.

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It's a sign for you to express your

love and gratitude to the Lord for his

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forgiveness and to repair those sins.

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Remember to do your penance

as soon as possible.

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I just try and do it

right after confession.

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I go kneel back down in the pew and

I say whatever prayer, usually it's a

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prayer that the priest has given me.

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Um, if you forget to do your

penance, technically you're

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Confession is not valid.

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And the penance is the last step for

you to kind of like seal the deal,

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receive the Lord's mercy and forgiveness.

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So don't forget to do your penance.

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And just remember it's okay, and

totally normal to feel nervous.

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I mean, You're talking about your sins.

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It's not comfortable.

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Right?

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And it's okay that it's uncomfortable.

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Actually, I think it's a good practice

that makes us grow in holiness and

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stretches us and really makes us

realize the weight of our sins.

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And that's a good thing.

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But just know this.

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God is God, right?

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He's omnipotent.

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He is all knowing.

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He already knows your sins.

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And nothing is too sinful

for him to forgive.

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Nothing is too scandalous for

him to hear, for him to love you.

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He is always ready to forgive you

with open arms and a full heart.

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And as Pope Francis says, The

Lord never tires of forgiving.

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It is we who tire of

asking for forgiveness.

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So if you have been nervous to go back,

or maybe you have a sin that has just

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been constantly brought up in confession

and you are just embarrassed or just

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tired of bringing it up, don't be tired.

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Don't tire of going to confession, right?

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: 00:18:31

The Lord is never tired

of giving you forgiveness.

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It is us who tire to continually

go to him and ask for it.

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So keep fighting and don't give

up because when you leave that

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confessional, you are transformed.

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You're not just forgiven,

but you are transformed.

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You have this newness of life within

you, this new restoration in your soul.

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Confession brings peace,

knowing that you are reconciled

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and close to the Lord again.

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It brings strength and gives you the

grace to resist future temptations,

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and it brings healing and restores your

relationship with God and others too.

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If that was something that

you brought up in confession.

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It's a true spiritual resurrection.

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Like you were dead and you are back again.

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It's like the prodigal son.

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And just like in that story, the Lord

will always welcome you back home.

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So, just to wrap up, take this

as my official invitation to

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you, my encouragement to you to

go to confession this Advent.

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Let Jesus meet you in your

brokenness and let him restore you.

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Don't hold back.

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Don't let fear stop you.

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Confession is a gift of God's

mercy that is waiting for you.

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Know that I'm praying for you, and I'm

going to be saying a special prayer for

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you if you are listening to this today,

if you are struggling with confession,

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I'm going to be praying that you receive

the strength and the grace to be able

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to go back, to do it, uh, maybe bring a

friend and hopefully to go more often.

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I know that I need that more in my life.

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I know a lot of us need

that reminder more often.

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Confession is something we need to be

seeking out regularly, and I know that we

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will all experience the many, many graces

and fruits in our own life if we do that.

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I hope your Advent continues to be

peaceful, prayerful, and beautiful, and I

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hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.