40: You Don't Need To Fear The Sacrament of Confession
Today we dive into the significance of the sacrament of confession, especially during the Advent season. Addressing common concerns and misconceptions, we explore what confession truly is, how to prepare for it, and the immense grace it brings into our lives. Through practical advice, scripture, and teachings from the Catechism, this episode encourages Catholics to embrace confession regularly, not just during Advent, and highlights its transformative power in our faith journey.
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Transcript
Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner,
and you're listening to the ever be
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:podcast where faith meets lifestyle.
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:Pull up a chair and listen in for
insightful real life conversations
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:and actionable steps on how to claim
the full life God created you for.
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:If you're a woman desiring to live
a Christ centered life in today's
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:modern world, then this is for you.
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:Welcome to Ever Be.
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:mari-wagner_1_12-17-2024_161058:
All right, been on my heart to share
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:about for a little bit and one that's
been requested quite a few times,
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:um, by you guys on my Instagram DMS.
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:I've gotten a couple messages of people
asking me to talk about Confession
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:into kind of break down a little bit
more about what it is, how to do it.
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:Maybe it's been a while.
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:Maybe you haven't gone to confession a
long time and you're kind of nervous.
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:Um, or maybe like, just what can
it do for us in our faith life?
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:And as we're in the midst of
this beautiful season of Advent.
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:I thought it was a fitting time to
talk about it because actually Advent
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:does have a penitential side to the
liturgical season, not as heavily
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:as Lent does obviously, but it does.
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:And I think that that's something
that we don't talk about a lot or
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:put enough emphasis on obviously,
because we are in full like Christmas
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:mode and celebration in this season.
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:And especially since in our
culture, like Advent isn't a thing.
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:It's really like, It's just
Christmas, you know, some people
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:celebrate starting November 1st.
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:It's like full on Christmas.
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:Um, and so our culture doesn't really
allow us to have that space for Advent.
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:So I think the whole like celebratory
part of, you know, the Christmas
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:that we know in our culture kind
of takes over and distracts us
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:a little bit from like the true.
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:The true essence of Advent and the
fact that there is a little bit of
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:a penitential aspect to this season.
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:Advent is a time of preparation, of
waiting, of hope, um, of preparation,
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:like I said, not just for Christmas, but
for Christ to come into our hearts, um,
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:to be more fully like born in our lives
and in our families and in our homes.
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:In one of the most powerful ways that we
can prepare ourselves for the coming of
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:our Savior, whether that be on Christmas
or his second coming or our time to
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:meet him at our death at our judgment.
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:, right.
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:That's what Advent also is about.
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:It's about us reflecting on
his coming, whether it be this
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:Christmas or his second coming and
how can we be prepared for that?
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:And so a way that we can prepare
ourselves is by going to the sacrament of
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:confession, reconciliation and respect.
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:And receiving His grace, His
mercy, and starting anew.
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:I know that sometimes confession can
be intimidating or it's something
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:that we avoid because it's, yeah,
intimidating, um, but it's truly a gift.
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:It's truly a, , powerful sacrament that
we should not shy away from and that
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:we should not avoid because there is
so much goodness that comes from it.
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:It's truly a place where God's
mercy and love meet us in the
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:most profound and healing way.
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:And so today I want to encourage you.
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:I want to share some practical insights.
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:I want to share some, , quotes from
the catechism that will help support
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:this conversation and just hopefully
remind you why confession is a great
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:idea as a practicing Catholic to go to
regularly and not just during Advent,
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:but throughout the whole year, but
hopefully this is a little bit of a
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:nudge for you to go to confession, um,
in these last few weeks of Advent, if
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:you haven't already, and just truly
prepare yourself and enter in a little
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:bit more prayerfully into the rest of this
Advent season before our savior is born.
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:So to start, let's talk about what
the sacrament of confession really is.
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:The sacrament of confession is
also called the sacrament of
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:reconciliation, and it's one of the
seven sacraments of our Catholic church,
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:which was instituted by Jesus himself.
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:And we see this in scripture.
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:John 20 22, 2 23.
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:Right after his resurrection,
Jesus says to the apostles.
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:Receive the Holy Spirit.
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:If you forgive the sins
of any, they are forgiven.
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:If you retain the sins of
any, they are retained.
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:This was that like priestly
authority that he gave the apostles
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:to forgive sins on his behalf.
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:And what we believe in the Catholic
church is that the priest in that moment
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:is actually in persona Christi, which
means that he's like standing in for
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:the person of Christ and that it's not
the priest forgiving your sins, it's
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:Christ forgiving your sins through the
ministry of his servant of God, right?
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:The priest through his ministry,
the Lord is able to give us
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:mercy and forgive us of our sins.
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:right here in John 20 where we can read
exactly where Jesus gave his apostles
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:this authority is just so powerful
because it shows us that God wants us
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:to be forgiven and God wants us to seek
that forgiveness through this sacrament.
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:Because he wants us to
experience his mercy.
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:It's about healing.
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:It's about restoration.
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:It's not about making
us feel shame or guilt
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:It's about bringing us back into that
beautiful relationship with him and
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:giving us more wholeness more healing
And remember that the sacraments are
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:avenues for grace and grace is this kind
of like mystical thing that we can't
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:always like Put our, you know, pinpoint
what it is or how to describe it.
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:But it's basically just this like
supernatural, like gift from the Lord.
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:This like love that he gives us
this like easiness that he gives us.
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:Grace is just like giving you
the ability to do basically what
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:the Lord is calling you to do.
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:Being a human is really hard.
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:Living in this broken world is really
hard and doing what the Lord has called
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:us to do without grace is super hard.
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:And so we need grace to be able to
live a Christ centered life and to
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:follow what God calls each of us to do.
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:And so the sacraments are one of the
ways that we can receive this grace
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:and the sacrament of confession,
you bet, is a really powerful
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:avenue to receive God's grace.
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:And I want to read from the catechism as
well, because I think it's so important
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:to truly just go straight to the source
where the teachings of our church come
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:from and to continue to form ourselves
in knowledge of what does my faith teach?
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:Why do we do these things?
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:So in the catechism in paragraph one,
four, two, two, It actually says those
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:who approach the sacrament of penance,
obtain pardon from God's mercy for the
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:offense committed against him and are at
the same time reconciled with the church.
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:When we sin, we damage our relationship
with God and we saw that from the
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:very beginning back in the garden.
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:When the Lord says, you know, all of
this is for you to take and to eat except
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:the fruit of the forbidden tree, Adam
and Eve disobeyed, and didn't trust
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:the Lord and went and ate of the fruit.
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:Sin entered the world and
this perfect relationship we
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:had with the Lord was broken.
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:And every time we sin, we kind
of like go back to that, right?
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:Like our beautiful relationship
with the Lord was broken once
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:again, and we need to reconcile it.
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:And confession is this
avenue that we have to do so.
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:And truly it's one of the greatest
gifts we've been given as Catholics.
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:Not every Christian religion has this.
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:It's a beautiful gift that we have to
restore our relationship with the Lord.
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:So why is Advent such a good season
to seek the sacrament of confession?
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:Advent is such a special season.
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:It mirrors the call of John the Baptist
when he's preparing the way for Jesus.
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:He says, repent, the kingdom
of heaven is at hand.
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:Prepare the way of the Lord
and make his path straight.
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:Think about this for a moment.
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:Advent isn't just about decorating
our homes and preparing our home for
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:the big party we're gonna have either
Christmas Eve or Christmas morning,
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:and the opening of the presents.
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:It's about preparing our hearts, our
souls, our mind, our families, and
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:our homes for the coming of Christ.
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:I think because it happened, 2000 plus
years ago, it's so easy for us to kind
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:of just brush it off or just kind of
it for it to become just this, this
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:buzzword of like, Oh yeah, the coming
of Christ or the newborn King, you know,
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:but the reality is like, we remember
this every single year for a reason,
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:because it is the most important thing
that has ever happened in history.
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:The Lord's birthday, the day that God
decided to become incarnate, to come into
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:our world so he could send us his son.
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:and save us and open the gates of heaven.
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:It's a big deal you guys, we have to
remember that that is the true reason
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:for the season as cliche as that sounds.
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:I love that saying because it runs and it
sounds great, but because it's so freaking
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:true, this is the reason for the season.
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:And so we want to make sure that
we are appropriately preparing for
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:the spiritual reality that we are
celebrating on Christmas day One of
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:the best ways to do that is by clearing
the clutter in our lives, right?
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:And so personally I love to do a deep
clean of my home before christmas and
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:then spiritually We go to confession
because we need to do a deep clean of
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:our souls and kind of just clear out all
that spiritual clutter that we may have.
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:And I just love that analogy.
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:I think because it speaks so much to
me, I think women in general can relate
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:to this a lot, but me especially,
because I really need a clean area.
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:Like the peace that I feel when my home
is deep cleaned or like when the kitchen
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:is clean and you know, there's no clutter
around and there's not like piles of
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:laundry, the peace that I feel when all
of that is Done and organized and clean
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:is so much, and I'm able to like think
clearly and like do the things that I need
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:to do in my life besides tend to my home.
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:It's so similar for us in the spiritual
life as well let's be real, nothing
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:brings us more peace and joy than
knowing that we have been forgiven and
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:that we are walking closely with God.
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:So how often should we
be going to confession?
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:Let's just talk about this as like
a general, like practice throughout
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:the year, not just during Advent.
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:How often should Catholics
be going to confession?
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:I get this question a lot and
I feel like there are varying
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:answer answers out there.
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:So I just want to set the record straight
and hopefully it's helpful for you.
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:The church officially teaches
that we must confess any mortal
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:sin at least once a year.
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:And this comes from the catechism
paragraph:
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:before receiving the Eucharist.
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:The teaching of the church is that
you are not to receive the Eucharist
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:if you are in a state of mortal sin.
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:You can only receive the
Eucharist if you are Catholic
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:and you are in a state of grace.
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:What is a mortal sin?
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:A mortal sin means that it's
something that is very grave.
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:It means that you knew it was
very grave when you did it,
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:and then you did it anyways.
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:Those are the three criteria for
something to be a mortal sin.
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:Venial sin basically means that you didn't
know it was a sin or it was a really
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:small sin, um, comparatively and those
venial sins, uh, are removed, like you
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:are forgiven and those venial sins are
removed when you receive the Eucharist,
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:but the mortal sins, you must go to
confession to be forgiven for those.
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:And in order to receive the Eucharist,
you have to be in a state of grace and
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:have already confessed your mortal sins.
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:However, the church also encourages
us to go to confession regularly
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:throughout the year, because
let's think about it for a second.
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:I don't know what your life is
like, what your sins are like, But
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:it's very likely we're falling into
mortal sin more than once a year.
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:And even if you've already overcome
like most mortal sin in your life,
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:like we know that there are
many different ways that we are
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:sinning throughout our life.
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:And it is necessary for us to go to
the Lord and come clean and receive his
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:grace in the sacrament of confession.
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:Because this sacrament
helps us grow in holiness.
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:I'm gonna read from the catechism
again in paragraph:
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:It says, the regular confession of our
venial sins helps us form our conscience,
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:fight against evil tendencies, let
ourselves be healed by Christ, and
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:progress in the life of the spirit.
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:Like I said, when you go to confession,
when you receive the sacraments,
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:you receive grace from the Lord.
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:Supernatural.
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:Grace, imagine if we
only went to confession.
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:Once a year, we are missing out on so
many opportunities to receive supernatural
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:grace, to continue in the fight, to
grow, to be strengthened in the face of
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:temptation, to turn away from evil and to
choose the Lord and to grow in holiness.
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:There are many amazing saints
that we know and love, like Padre
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:Pio and JP too, that recommended
that we go to confession monthly.
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:Why?
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:Because the more we receive
God's grace, the more we grow in
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:virtue and grow closer to him.
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:Think of it like tending a garden.
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:If we're regularly weeding out our sin,
the soil of our heart becomes more fertile
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:for God's love to grow, for
virtue to take root, for holiness
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:to take root in our lives.
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:So let's get practical.
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:If it's been a while since you went to
confession, let's just go over a few
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:pieces of advice of how to prepare.
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:One, you want to do an
examination of conscience.
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:This is a step by step reflection that
leads you through the different things
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:that you've experienced, different
actions you've taken, or even omission
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:of actions that you've taken throughout
the past, you know, X amount of time
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:since you last went to confession to
kind of reflect on how your life is
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:aligning with the way the Lord wants
you to live the way he's calling you
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:to live and different examinations.
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:They'll all pretty much lead you
to the same place, but they'll
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:take different approaches.
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:One of them may have reflections
based off the 10 commandments.
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:One might do it based off
the seven capital sins.
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:One might do it based off of, certain
sins that are more prevalent in
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:different stages of life for people.
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:So if you look it up online,
there's examination of conscience
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:for college students, for young
adults, for mothers and wives.
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:Um, they all pretty much do the same
thing and we'll probably get you
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:to the same conclusions to help you
reflect on any sins in your life.
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:But, depending on where you're at in
your life, maybe one, the way one is
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:worded will be more helpful than another.
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:So to do this, just take some time
before confession, whether you want
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:to go to the church, maybe 20 minutes
early, to just, Read through that
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:examination of conscience reflect
and pray and just really ask the
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:Lord to make those sins clear to
you on your heart I always do this.
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:Sometimes you don't know everything.
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:You don't remember everything, you
know, we're not all Constantly thinking
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:about our sins all the time, and so
taking some time to pray to reflect
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:and even just straight up ask the Lord
like Lord Any sins that are on my heart
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:that I am not aware of Please reveal
them to me, please make them clear
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:so I can bring them up in confession.
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:That's really helpful.
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:Second, be truly sorry.
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:There's a difference between shame
and guilt and this sacrament is not
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:meant to make you feel shame, but
guilt is actually a healthy thing.
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:Guilt is something that the Lord has
given us, um, to feel in our conscience
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:when we have done something wrong and
it indicates when we have done something
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:wrong and feeling that guilt and feeling
sorry for our actions is truly necessary
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:for us to really be able to enter into
the sacrament well and receive his grace.
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:Because if we're not truly sorry
for something, we can't truly be
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:confessing it and mean it right.
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:And then we can't actually be open
to receiving God's grace because if
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:you're not truly sorry for it, you
might not actually believe that you
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:need forgiveness and God's grace.
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:And so therefore you're not
going to be open to receive it.
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:So you need to be truly sorry
and have a resolute desire to
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:change your actions afterwards.
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:So to never do those sins again, now we
know that we're human and that's probably
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:not going to be true for a lot of us.
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:We were going to sin our whole lives, but
we really, truly need to have the desire
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:to turn away from sin and to do our very
best from that day forward to not do so.
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:Then you're going to go into confession.
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:You're going to do the sign of
the cross and you're going to say,
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:forgive me, father, for I have sinned.
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:Tell him how long it's been
since your last confession.
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:So I say, you know, it's been a month
since my last confession, three years
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:since my last confession, you know,
40 years, 10 days, whatever your
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:time is since my last confession.
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:And then I just go into it, right.
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:And then you say, and you know, And these
are the things that I want to bring to
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:confession today, or these are the sins on
my heart that I want to bring to the Lord.
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:However you want to word
it and then share them.
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:If you get nervous, I recommend that
you write them down on a piece of
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:paper or on a notes app in your phone.
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:Maybe as you're reflecting
on that examination of
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:conscience, you can take note.
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:Honestly, this is what I do because I
get nervous that I'm going to forget
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:them and I don't want to forget my sins.
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:I want to be able to confess them all.
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:So I take note either on a notepad
or on a note in my phone, While I'm
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:doing my examination of conscience.
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:And then in that moment in confession,
I can read through them and I don't
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:write them out like detail, you know,
word for word, I make little notes.
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:And then in the moment when I'm confessing
these sins, if there's any other detail
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:I want to add or any questions or, , any
specific moments that I want to bring
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:up, then I'll share those in that moment.
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:And then you can just say, you know,
and that's all that's on my heart.
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:You know, and then the priest will
probably say a few words, depending on
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:what the priest's time looks like, how
many confessions he has to get through.
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:He might give you some words of advice.
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:On how to overcome this sin or maybe
a different prayer so that you could
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:incorporate into your life different
things like that he might ask you
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:some questions and then he's going
to give you your penance and your
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:penance is probably a prayer or
whatever action that he has you do to
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:just like finish this the sacrament
to just to complete the sacrament.
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:It's a sign for you to express your
love and gratitude to the Lord for his
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:forgiveness and to repair those sins.
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:Remember to do your penance
as soon as possible.
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:I just try and do it
right after confession.
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:I go kneel back down in the pew and
I say whatever prayer, usually it's a
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:prayer that the priest has given me.
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:Um, if you forget to do your
penance, technically you're
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:Confession is not valid.
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:And the penance is the last step for
you to kind of like seal the deal,
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:receive the Lord's mercy and forgiveness.
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:So don't forget to do your penance.
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:And just remember it's okay, and
totally normal to feel nervous.
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:I mean, You're talking about your sins.
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:It's not comfortable.
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:Right?
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:And it's okay that it's uncomfortable.
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:Actually, I think it's a good practice
that makes us grow in holiness and
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:stretches us and really makes us
realize the weight of our sins.
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:And that's a good thing.
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:But just know this.
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:God is God, right?
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:He's omnipotent.
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:He is all knowing.
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:He already knows your sins.
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:And nothing is too sinful
for him to forgive.
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:Nothing is too scandalous for
him to hear, for him to love you.
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:He is always ready to forgive you
with open arms and a full heart.
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:And as Pope Francis says, The
Lord never tires of forgiving.
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:It is we who tire of
asking for forgiveness.
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:So if you have been nervous to go back,
or maybe you have a sin that has just
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:been constantly brought up in confession
and you are just embarrassed or just
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:tired of bringing it up, don't be tired.
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:Don't tire of going to confession, right?
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:The Lord is never tired
of giving you forgiveness.
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:It is us who tire to continually
go to him and ask for it.
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:So keep fighting and don't give
up because when you leave that
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:confessional, you are transformed.
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:You're not just forgiven,
but you are transformed.
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:You have this newness of life within
you, this new restoration in your soul.
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:Confession brings peace,
knowing that you are reconciled
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:and close to the Lord again.
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:It brings strength and gives you the
grace to resist future temptations,
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:and it brings healing and restores your
relationship with God and others too.
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:If that was something that
you brought up in confession.
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:It's a true spiritual resurrection.
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:Like you were dead and you are back again.
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:It's like the prodigal son.
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:And just like in that story, the Lord
will always welcome you back home.
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:So, just to wrap up, take this
as my official invitation to
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:you, my encouragement to you to
go to confession this Advent.
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:Let Jesus meet you in your
brokenness and let him restore you.
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:Don't hold back.
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:Don't let fear stop you.
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:Confession is a gift of God's
mercy that is waiting for you.
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:Know that I'm praying for you, and I'm
going to be saying a special prayer for
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:you if you are listening to this today,
if you are struggling with confession,
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:I'm going to be praying that you receive
the strength and the grace to be able
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:to go back, to do it, uh, maybe bring a
friend and hopefully to go more often.
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:I know that I need that more in my life.
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:I know a lot of us need
that reminder more often.
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:Confession is something we need to be
seeking out regularly, and I know that we
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:will all experience the many, many graces
and fruits in our own life if we do that.
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:I hope your Advent continues to be
peaceful, prayerful, and beautiful, and I
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:hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.