Episode 40

full
Published on:

18th Dec 2024

40: You Don't Need To Fear The Sacrament of Confession

Today we dive into the significance of the sacrament of confession, especially during the Advent season. Addressing common concerns and misconceptions, we explore what confession truly is, how to prepare for it, and the immense grace it brings into our lives. Through practical advice, scripture, and teachings from the Catechism, this episode encourages Catholics to embrace confession regularly, not just during Advent, and highlights its transformative power in our faith journey.

------

Episode Sponsors

Ave Maria - In Memorize Scripture, Catholic speaker, podcaster, and worship leader Jackie Francois Angel invites you on a 12-month journey into the timeless beauty and transformative power of scripture memorization. With 120 carefully selected verses, each organized into 12 thematic chapters, Jackie equips you with practical tools to make memorization simple, meaningful, and accessible.

https://www.avemariapress.com/products/memorize-scripture

Crunchi - crunchi.com/mariwagner

West Coast Catholic - westcoastcatholic.co

------

Follow Along:

Ever Be Podcast Instagram

Mari Wagner Instagram

West Coast Catholic Instagram

Transcript
Speaker:

Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to the ever be

2

:

podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

3

:

I'm so excited you're here, whether you're

a new listener or a longtime follower,

4

:

I know there's something here for you.

5

:

Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real life conversations

6

:

and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

7

:

If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ centered life in today's

8

:

modern world, then this is for you.

9

:

Welcome to Ever Be.

10

:

mari-wagner_1_12-17-2024_161058:

All right, been on my heart to share

11

:

about for a little bit and one that's

been requested quite a few times,

12

:

um, by you guys on my Instagram DMS.

13

:

I've gotten a couple messages of people

asking me to talk about Confession

14

:

into kind of break down a little bit

more about what it is, how to do it.

15

:

Maybe it's been a while.

16

:

Maybe you haven't gone to confession a

long time and you're kind of nervous.

17

:

Um, or maybe like, just what can

it do for us in our faith life?

18

:

And as we're in the midst of

this beautiful season of Advent.

19

:

I thought it was a fitting time to

talk about it because actually Advent

20

:

does have a penitential side to the

liturgical season, not as heavily

21

:

as Lent does obviously, but it does.

22

:

And I think that that's something

that we don't talk about a lot or

23

:

put enough emphasis on obviously,

because we are in full like Christmas

24

:

mode and celebration in this season.

25

:

And especially since in our

culture, like Advent isn't a thing.

26

:

It's really like, It's just

Christmas, you know, some people

27

:

celebrate starting November 1st.

28

:

It's like full on Christmas.

29

:

Um, and so our culture doesn't really

allow us to have that space for Advent.

30

:

So I think the whole like celebratory

part of, you know, the Christmas

31

:

that we know in our culture kind

of takes over and distracts us

32

:

a little bit from like the true.

33

:

The true essence of Advent and the

fact that there is a little bit of

34

:

a penitential aspect to this season.

35

:

Advent is a time of preparation, of

waiting, of hope, um, of preparation,

36

:

like I said, not just for Christmas, but

for Christ to come into our hearts, um,

37

:

to be more fully like born in our lives

and in our families and in our homes.

38

:

In one of the most powerful ways that we

can prepare ourselves for the coming of

39

:

our Savior, whether that be on Christmas

or his second coming or our time to

40

:

meet him at our death at our judgment.

41

:

, right.

42

:

That's what Advent also is about.

43

:

It's about us reflecting on

his coming, whether it be this

44

:

Christmas or his second coming and

how can we be prepared for that?

45

:

And so a way that we can prepare

ourselves is by going to the sacrament of

46

:

confession, reconciliation and respect.

47

:

And receiving His grace, His

mercy, and starting anew.

48

:

I know that sometimes confession can

be intimidating or it's something

49

:

that we avoid because it's, yeah,

intimidating, um, but it's truly a gift.

50

:

It's truly a, , powerful sacrament that

we should not shy away from and that

51

:

we should not avoid because there is

so much goodness that comes from it.

52

:

It's truly a place where God's

mercy and love meet us in the

53

:

most profound and healing way.

54

:

And so today I want to encourage you.

55

:

I want to share some practical insights.

56

:

I want to share some, , quotes from

the catechism that will help support

57

:

this conversation and just hopefully

remind you why confession is a great

58

:

idea as a practicing Catholic to go to

regularly and not just during Advent,

59

:

but throughout the whole year, but

hopefully this is a little bit of a

60

:

nudge for you to go to confession, um,

in these last few weeks of Advent, if

61

:

you haven't already, and just truly

prepare yourself and enter in a little

62

:

bit more prayerfully into the rest of this

Advent season before our savior is born.

63

:

So to start, let's talk about what

the sacrament of confession really is.

64

:

The sacrament of confession is

also called the sacrament of

65

:

reconciliation, and it's one of the

seven sacraments of our Catholic church,

66

:

which was instituted by Jesus himself.

67

:

And we see this in scripture.

68

:

John 20 22, 2 23.

69

:

Right after his resurrection,

Jesus says to the apostles.

70

:

Receive the Holy Spirit.

71

:

If you forgive the sins

of any, they are forgiven.

72

:

If you retain the sins of

any, they are retained.

73

:

This was that like priestly

authority that he gave the apostles

74

:

to forgive sins on his behalf.

75

:

And what we believe in the Catholic

church is that the priest in that moment

76

:

is actually in persona Christi, which

means that he's like standing in for

77

:

the person of Christ and that it's not

the priest forgiving your sins, it's

78

:

Christ forgiving your sins through the

ministry of his servant of God, right?

79

:

The priest through his ministry,

the Lord is able to give us

80

:

mercy and forgive us of our sins.

81

:

right here in John 20 where we can read

exactly where Jesus gave his apostles

82

:

this authority is just so powerful

because it shows us that God wants us

83

:

to be forgiven and God wants us to seek

that forgiveness through this sacrament.

84

:

Because he wants us to

experience his mercy.

85

:

It's about healing.

86

:

It's about restoration.

87

:

It's not about making

us feel shame or guilt

88

:

It's about bringing us back into that

beautiful relationship with him and

89

:

giving us more wholeness more healing

And remember that the sacraments are

90

:

avenues for grace and grace is this kind

of like mystical thing that we can't

91

:

always like Put our, you know, pinpoint

what it is or how to describe it.

92

:

But it's basically just this like

supernatural, like gift from the Lord.

93

:

This like love that he gives us

this like easiness that he gives us.

94

:

Grace is just like giving you

the ability to do basically what

95

:

the Lord is calling you to do.

96

:

Being a human is really hard.

97

:

Living in this broken world is really

hard and doing what the Lord has called

98

:

us to do without grace is super hard.

99

:

And so we need grace to be able to

live a Christ centered life and to

100

:

follow what God calls each of us to do.

101

:

And so the sacraments are one of the

ways that we can receive this grace

102

:

and the sacrament of confession,

you bet, is a really powerful

103

:

avenue to receive God's grace.

104

:

And I want to read from the catechism as

well, because I think it's so important

105

:

to truly just go straight to the source

where the teachings of our church come

106

:

from and to continue to form ourselves

in knowledge of what does my faith teach?

107

:

Why do we do these things?

108

:

So in the catechism in paragraph one,

four, two, two, It actually says those

109

:

who approach the sacrament of penance,

obtain pardon from God's mercy for the

110

:

offense committed against him and are at

the same time reconciled with the church.

111

:

When we sin, we damage our relationship

with God and we saw that from the

112

:

very beginning back in the garden.

113

:

When the Lord says, you know, all of

this is for you to take and to eat except

114

:

the fruit of the forbidden tree, Adam

and Eve disobeyed, and didn't trust

115

:

the Lord and went and ate of the fruit.

116

:

Sin entered the world and

this perfect relationship we

117

:

had with the Lord was broken.

118

:

And every time we sin, we kind

of like go back to that, right?

119

:

Like our beautiful relationship

with the Lord was broken once

120

:

again, and we need to reconcile it.

121

:

And confession is this

avenue that we have to do so.

122

:

And truly it's one of the greatest

gifts we've been given as Catholics.

123

:

Not every Christian religion has this.

124

:

It's a beautiful gift that we have to

restore our relationship with the Lord.

125

:

So why is Advent such a good season

to seek the sacrament of confession?

126

:

Advent is such a special season.

127

:

It mirrors the call of John the Baptist

when he's preparing the way for Jesus.

128

:

He says, repent, the kingdom

of heaven is at hand.

129

:

Prepare the way of the Lord

and make his path straight.

130

:

Think about this for a moment.

131

:

Advent isn't just about decorating

our homes and preparing our home for

132

:

the big party we're gonna have either

Christmas Eve or Christmas morning,

133

:

and the opening of the presents.

134

:

It's about preparing our hearts, our

souls, our mind, our families, and

135

:

our homes for the coming of Christ.

136

:

I think because it happened, 2000 plus

years ago, it's so easy for us to kind

137

:

of just brush it off or just kind of

it for it to become just this, this

138

:

buzzword of like, Oh yeah, the coming

of Christ or the newborn King, you know,

139

:

but the reality is like, we remember

this every single year for a reason,

140

:

because it is the most important thing

that has ever happened in history.

141

:

The Lord's birthday, the day that God

decided to become incarnate, to come into

142

:

our world so he could send us his son.

143

:

and save us and open the gates of heaven.

144

:

It's a big deal you guys, we have to

remember that that is the true reason

145

:

for the season as cliche as that sounds.

146

:

I love that saying because it runs and it

sounds great, but because it's so freaking

147

:

true, this is the reason for the season.

148

:

And so we want to make sure that

we are appropriately preparing for

149

:

the spiritual reality that we are

celebrating on Christmas day One of

150

:

the best ways to do that is by clearing

the clutter in our lives, right?

151

:

And so personally I love to do a deep

clean of my home before christmas and

152

:

then spiritually We go to confession

because we need to do a deep clean of

153

:

our souls and kind of just clear out all

that spiritual clutter that we may have.

154

:

And I just love that analogy.

155

:

I think because it speaks so much to

me, I think women in general can relate

156

:

to this a lot, but me especially,

because I really need a clean area.

157

:

Like the peace that I feel when my home

is deep cleaned or like when the kitchen

158

:

is clean and you know, there's no clutter

around and there's not like piles of

159

:

laundry, the peace that I feel when all

of that is Done and organized and clean

160

:

is so much, and I'm able to like think

clearly and like do the things that I need

161

:

to do in my life besides tend to my home.

162

:

It's so similar for us in the spiritual

life as well let's be real, nothing

163

:

brings us more peace and joy than

knowing that we have been forgiven and

164

:

that we are walking closely with God.

165

:

So how often should we

be going to confession?

166

:

Let's just talk about this as like

a general, like practice throughout

167

:

the year, not just during Advent.

168

:

How often should Catholics

be going to confession?

169

:

I get this question a lot and

I feel like there are varying

170

:

answer answers out there.

171

:

So I just want to set the record straight

and hopefully it's helpful for you.

172

:

The church officially teaches

that we must confess any mortal

173

:

sin at least once a year.

174

:

And this comes from the catechism

paragraph:

175

:

before receiving the Eucharist.

176

:

The teaching of the church is that

you are not to receive the Eucharist

177

:

if you are in a state of mortal sin.

178

:

You can only receive the

Eucharist if you are Catholic

179

:

and you are in a state of grace.

180

:

What is a mortal sin?

181

:

A mortal sin means that it's

something that is very grave.

182

:

It means that you knew it was

very grave when you did it,

183

:

and then you did it anyways.

184

:

Those are the three criteria for

something to be a mortal sin.

185

:

Venial sin basically means that you didn't

know it was a sin or it was a really

186

:

small sin, um, comparatively and those

venial sins, uh, are removed, like you

187

:

are forgiven and those venial sins are

removed when you receive the Eucharist,

188

:

but the mortal sins, you must go to

confession to be forgiven for those.

189

:

And in order to receive the Eucharist,

you have to be in a state of grace and

190

:

have already confessed your mortal sins.

191

:

However, the church also encourages

us to go to confession regularly

192

:

throughout the year, because

let's think about it for a second.

193

:

I don't know what your life is

like, what your sins are like, But

194

:

it's very likely we're falling into

mortal sin more than once a year.

195

:

And even if you've already overcome

like most mortal sin in your life,

196

:

like we know that there are

many different ways that we are

197

:

sinning throughout our life.

198

:

And it is necessary for us to go to

the Lord and come clean and receive his

199

:

grace in the sacrament of confession.

200

:

Because this sacrament

helps us grow in holiness.

201

:

I'm gonna read from the catechism

again in paragraph:

202

:

It says, the regular confession of our

venial sins helps us form our conscience,

203

:

fight against evil tendencies, let

ourselves be healed by Christ, and

204

:

progress in the life of the spirit.

205

:

Like I said, when you go to confession,

when you receive the sacraments,

206

:

you receive grace from the Lord.

207

:

Supernatural.

208

:

Grace, imagine if we

only went to confession.

209

:

Once a year, we are missing out on so

many opportunities to receive supernatural

210

:

grace, to continue in the fight, to

grow, to be strengthened in the face of

211

:

temptation, to turn away from evil and to

choose the Lord and to grow in holiness.

212

:

There are many amazing saints

that we know and love, like Padre

213

:

Pio and JP too, that recommended

that we go to confession monthly.

214

:

Why?

215

:

Because the more we receive

God's grace, the more we grow in

216

:

virtue and grow closer to him.

217

:

Think of it like tending a garden.

218

:

If we're regularly weeding out our sin,

the soil of our heart becomes more fertile

219

:

for God's love to grow, for

virtue to take root, for holiness

220

:

to take root in our lives.

221

:

So let's get practical.

222

:

If it's been a while since you went to

confession, let's just go over a few

223

:

pieces of advice of how to prepare.

224

:

One, you want to do an

examination of conscience.

225

:

This is a step by step reflection that

leads you through the different things

226

:

that you've experienced, different

actions you've taken, or even omission

227

:

of actions that you've taken throughout

the past, you know, X amount of time

228

:

since you last went to confession to

kind of reflect on how your life is

229

:

aligning with the way the Lord wants

you to live the way he's calling you

230

:

to live and different examinations.

231

:

They'll all pretty much lead you

to the same place, but they'll

232

:

take different approaches.

233

:

One of them may have reflections

based off the 10 commandments.

234

:

One might do it based off

the seven capital sins.

235

:

One might do it based off of, certain

sins that are more prevalent in

236

:

different stages of life for people.

237

:

So if you look it up online,

there's examination of conscience

238

:

for college students, for young

adults, for mothers and wives.

239

:

Um, they all pretty much do the same

thing and we'll probably get you

240

:

to the same conclusions to help you

reflect on any sins in your life.

241

:

But, depending on where you're at in

your life, maybe one, the way one is

242

:

worded will be more helpful than another.

243

:

So to do this, just take some time

before confession, whether you want

244

:

to go to the church, maybe 20 minutes

early, to just, Read through that

245

:

examination of conscience reflect

and pray and just really ask the

246

:

Lord to make those sins clear to

you on your heart I always do this.

247

:

Sometimes you don't know everything.

248

:

You don't remember everything, you

know, we're not all Constantly thinking

249

:

about our sins all the time, and so

taking some time to pray to reflect

250

:

and even just straight up ask the Lord

like Lord Any sins that are on my heart

251

:

that I am not aware of Please reveal

them to me, please make them clear

252

:

so I can bring them up in confession.

253

:

That's really helpful.

254

:

Second, be truly sorry.

255

:

There's a difference between shame

and guilt and this sacrament is not

256

:

meant to make you feel shame, but

guilt is actually a healthy thing.

257

:

Guilt is something that the Lord has

given us, um, to feel in our conscience

258

:

when we have done something wrong and

it indicates when we have done something

259

:

wrong and feeling that guilt and feeling

sorry for our actions is truly necessary

260

:

for us to really be able to enter into

the sacrament well and receive his grace.

261

:

Because if we're not truly sorry

for something, we can't truly be

262

:

confessing it and mean it right.

263

:

And then we can't actually be open

to receiving God's grace because if

264

:

you're not truly sorry for it, you

might not actually believe that you

265

:

need forgiveness and God's grace.

266

:

And so therefore you're not

going to be open to receive it.

267

:

So you need to be truly sorry

and have a resolute desire to

268

:

change your actions afterwards.

269

:

So to never do those sins again, now we

know that we're human and that's probably

270

:

not going to be true for a lot of us.

271

:

We were going to sin our whole lives, but

we really, truly need to have the desire

272

:

to turn away from sin and to do our very

best from that day forward to not do so.

273

:

Then you're going to go into confession.

274

:

You're going to do the sign of

the cross and you're going to say,

275

:

forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

276

:

Tell him how long it's been

since your last confession.

277

:

So I say, you know, it's been a month

since my last confession, three years

278

:

since my last confession, you know,

40 years, 10 days, whatever your

279

:

time is since my last confession.

280

:

And then I just go into it, right.

281

:

And then you say, and you know, And these

are the things that I want to bring to

282

:

confession today, or these are the sins on

my heart that I want to bring to the Lord.

283

:

However you want to word

it and then share them.

284

:

If you get nervous, I recommend that

you write them down on a piece of

285

:

paper or on a notes app in your phone.

286

:

Maybe as you're reflecting

on that examination of

287

:

conscience, you can take note.

288

:

Honestly, this is what I do because I

get nervous that I'm going to forget

289

:

them and I don't want to forget my sins.

290

:

I want to be able to confess them all.

291

:

So I take note either on a notepad

or on a note in my phone, While I'm

292

:

doing my examination of conscience.

293

:

And then in that moment in confession,

I can read through them and I don't

294

:

write them out like detail, you know,

word for word, I make little notes.

295

:

And then in the moment when I'm confessing

these sins, if there's any other detail

296

:

I want to add or any questions or, , any

specific moments that I want to bring

297

:

up, then I'll share those in that moment.

298

:

And then you can just say, you know,

and that's all that's on my heart.

299

:

You know, and then the priest will

probably say a few words, depending on

300

:

what the priest's time looks like, how

many confessions he has to get through.

301

:

He might give you some words of advice.

302

:

On how to overcome this sin or maybe

a different prayer so that you could

303

:

incorporate into your life different

things like that he might ask you

304

:

some questions and then he's going

to give you your penance and your

305

:

penance is probably a prayer or

whatever action that he has you do to

306

:

just like finish this the sacrament

to just to complete the sacrament.

307

:

It's a sign for you to express your

love and gratitude to the Lord for his

308

:

forgiveness and to repair those sins.

309

:

Remember to do your penance

as soon as possible.

310

:

I just try and do it

right after confession.

311

:

I go kneel back down in the pew and

I say whatever prayer, usually it's a

312

:

prayer that the priest has given me.

313

:

Um, if you forget to do your

penance, technically you're

314

:

Confession is not valid.

315

:

And the penance is the last step for

you to kind of like seal the deal,

316

:

receive the Lord's mercy and forgiveness.

317

:

So don't forget to do your penance.

318

:

And just remember it's okay, and

totally normal to feel nervous.

319

:

I mean, You're talking about your sins.

320

:

It's not comfortable.

321

:

Right?

322

:

And it's okay that it's uncomfortable.

323

:

Actually, I think it's a good practice

that makes us grow in holiness and

324

:

stretches us and really makes us

realize the weight of our sins.

325

:

And that's a good thing.

326

:

But just know this.

327

:

God is God, right?

328

:

He's omnipotent.

329

:

He is all knowing.

330

:

He already knows your sins.

331

:

And nothing is too sinful

for him to forgive.

332

:

Nothing is too scandalous for

him to hear, for him to love you.

333

:

He is always ready to forgive you

with open arms and a full heart.

334

:

And as Pope Francis says, The

Lord never tires of forgiving.

335

:

It is we who tire of

asking for forgiveness.

336

:

So if you have been nervous to go back,

or maybe you have a sin that has just

337

:

been constantly brought up in confession

and you are just embarrassed or just

338

:

tired of bringing it up, don't be tired.

339

:

Don't tire of going to confession, right?

340

:

The Lord is never tired

of giving you forgiveness.

341

:

It is us who tire to continually

go to him and ask for it.

342

:

So keep fighting and don't give

up because when you leave that

343

:

confessional, you are transformed.

344

:

You're not just forgiven,

but you are transformed.

345

:

You have this newness of life within

you, this new restoration in your soul.

346

:

Confession brings peace,

knowing that you are reconciled

347

:

and close to the Lord again.

348

:

It brings strength and gives you the

grace to resist future temptations,

349

:

and it brings healing and restores your

relationship with God and others too.

350

:

If that was something that

you brought up in confession.

351

:

It's a true spiritual resurrection.

352

:

Like you were dead and you are back again.

353

:

It's like the prodigal son.

354

:

And just like in that story, the Lord

will always welcome you back home.

355

:

So, just to wrap up, take this

as my official invitation to

356

:

you, my encouragement to you to

go to confession this Advent.

357

:

Let Jesus meet you in your

brokenness and let him restore you.

358

:

Don't hold back.

359

:

Don't let fear stop you.

360

:

Confession is a gift of God's

mercy that is waiting for you.

361

:

Know that I'm praying for you, and I'm

going to be saying a special prayer for

362

:

you if you are listening to this today,

if you are struggling with confession,

363

:

I'm going to be praying that you receive

the strength and the grace to be able

364

:

to go back, to do it, uh, maybe bring a

friend and hopefully to go more often.

365

:

I know that I need that more in my life.

366

:

I know a lot of us need

that reminder more often.

367

:

Confession is something we need to be

seeking out regularly, and I know that we

368

:

will all experience the many, many graces

and fruits in our own life if we do that.

369

:

I hope your Advent continues to be

peaceful, prayerful, and beautiful, and I

370

:

hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.

Listen for free

Show artwork for Ever Be

About the Podcast

Ever Be
A faith and lifestyle podcast.
The Ever Be Podcast is a faith and lifestyle podcast filled with meaningful conversations and practical tips that will inspire and empower you to live a Christ centered life in today’s modern world. Through her own experience of surrendering completely to God and finding true fullness of life, your host Mari Wagner, has committed to having God’s praise “ever be” on her lips and sharing that message with the world. Listen in for insightful, real life conversations and actionable steps on how to claim the full life God created you for.

With over 100K followers and counting, Instagram content creator and founder of the popular Catholic lifestyle brand, West Coast Catholic, Mari Wagner is showing the world how to live a bold, attractive, and fulfilling Catholic life by being in the world but not of it. On the podcast you’ll get a combination of heartfelt solo episodes with Mari, interviews with exciting guests, and up-close and personal time with both the Wagner’s—Mari and Trey. What more could you ask for?!

Finally! Answers to questions you’ve been asking like:
How do I infuse prayer into my daily life? How do I live out my Catholic faith? What is the best dating and marriage advice? What does a good Catholic marriage look like? How do I grow in homemaking skills and build a domestic church? How do I create a beautiful and welcoming home? What does a healthy and balanced lifestyle look like? Is it possible to find a solid community of like minded women?

Host Mari Wagner covers topics that you actually care about from faith life, to relationships and marriage, to homemaking, to healthy living. Each episode is crafted to resonate with your challenges and aspirations as a modern Christian woman seeking purpose, balance, and joy.

Tune into the Ever Be Podcast for valuable advice, relatable stories, expert insights and just some fun girl chats with someone who really gets you. Hit play to get out of the rut you constantly feel yourself in, and subscribe to join the community and experience the fullness of life Jesus has in store for you.

About your host

Profile picture for Mari Wagner

Mari Wagner