Episode 56

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Published on:

16th Apr 2025

56: Inside The Influencer World: Myths, Real Talk & The Reality Behind The Feed | Megan Wells, Claire Couche & Melissa Tablada

Join in on our conversation with Megan @megs__wells, Melissa @melissagracetablada, and Claire @findingphilothea as we pull back the veil on social media. The conversation covers their journeys into content creation, balancing work with personal life, the challenges they face, and their efforts to maintain authenticity while navigating the complex landscape of influencer culture. They reflect on the misconceptions about influencers, explain their motivations rooted in faith, and emphasize the importance of positive influence and leadership in their roles.

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Transcript
Speaker:

Hey, I am your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to The Ever Be

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Podcast where Faith Meets Lifestyle.

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I'm so excited you're here.

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Whether you're a new listener

or a longtime follower, I know

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there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful, real life conversations and

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actionable steps on how to claim the.

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Full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ-centered life in today's

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modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to ever be.

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mw_4_03-08-2025_121912: Welcome

back to Ever Be everybody.

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Today is a really exciting day.

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We have such amazing guests on the

podcast today, and we're all in person.

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Great.

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Which is crazy.

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We've been waiting for

this day a long time.

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So today I've got some of my most

special friends on the podcast, friends

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that I met online, and we're in real

life now, which is so, so exciting.

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So let's start off with some

introductions so everybody can

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know who's on the pod today.

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Should we start with Melissa?

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Because that's, I was thinking

Melissa, let's start with Melissa.

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Melissa.

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Melissa

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at Melissa.

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Grace tab.

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That's true.

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Right?

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That's your handle.

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Mm-hmm.

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But even more so, Grace, I mean

she's a Catholic Family Therapist.

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Well, marriage and family therapist.

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She has a lot of wonderful

things on the gram.

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There's a lot of amazing insights

to like, how to talk to your husband

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and have intimacy with him in like

postpartum seasons or hard seasons.

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A lot of value in the regards

to what her knowledge is when

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it comes to like therapy.

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Yes.

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She's also a Creighton practitioner

and she actually taught, taught

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Trey and I how to chart NFP.

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We are her students.

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One of my earliest, yeah,

one of my first clients.

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Low key her best students.

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Um, she, Trey was a model

fiance learning to chart.

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He was excited about it.

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He was committed.

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He was committed.

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Um, so she also serves women and

couples in that way and teaching

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them about their fertility,

specifically the Creighton method.

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Um, and helping people just have

confidence in learning about their cycles,

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which is so important for young couples,

um, to learn about once they get married.

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Okay.

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But more importantly, like in

our friendship, who is Melissa?

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Like that's who she is on Instagram and

then even in like marriage and family.

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Mm-hmm.

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But like in our friendship, I feel like

she Low key still plays the therapist.

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I was gonna say the same thing.

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And I love it.

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I'm like, we need it.

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Like we text Daily, daily and Melissa

helps us navigate every, I feel so

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integrated when I'm talking to Melissa.

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I just feel like Melissa.

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Affirms our feelings and emotions

when we have them, but then also is

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able to like provide insight when

maybe we're like not seeing a side

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of something where she's like, well,

maybe if we look at it this way.

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Yeah.

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Like we can see this situation.

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And I'm like, yes, you're right.

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And she, it is validating.

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Well, I think if she speaks, if any of

us ever like beat ourselves, we say just

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like, oh, I feel so stupid about this,

or, I don't know how to deal with this

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and I feel like I'm not doing it right.

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She shines light on something

and is like, first of all, don't

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talk about yourself like that.

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Technically.

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Here's what's really happening.

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Language is huge.

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Yes, you ground our friendship.

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Thank you.

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True.

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Thank you guys.

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Such a great introduction.

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Yeah.

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I started this all, Melissa was

the true, this is why it meant

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made sense to start with Melissa.

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Yeah.

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You sent out the initial text to

all of us to meet monthly and we've

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been meeting monthly for years.

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Five years time.

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Mm-hmm.

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Yeah.

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Because of your invitation.

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So this is approved.

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Yeah.

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Wow.

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And I love the way it's developed

from digital friendship to daily

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messages and yes, in real life.

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Mm-hmm.

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We've all met individually.

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Mm-hmm.

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And this is the first

time we're tired together.

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We're all together.

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I know.

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It's beautiful And it's exciting

'cause this has been a long

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time coming, like we tried.

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Last year to get the girls

trip out of the group chat.

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Yeah.

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And then things fell through

and we didn't make it.

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And then finally I made it.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Claire made it to Melissa's house.

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I did.

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And Megan and I had to bail.

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Okay.

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What about Claire?

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Oh, I'll go down the line.

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Go down the line.

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Okay.

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I mean, everyone knows

'cause it's your podcast.

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True, true.

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Everybody knows that.

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Who you are in the friendship.

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Yeah.

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Especially, yes.

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Okay.

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You are the creative

queen who inspires us.

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The inspiration.

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Don't have to say the inspiration.

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Mm-hmm.

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Def it motivates us, especially

with our business goals and

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anytime we get off a call, I feel

on fire to set the world a blaze.

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Oh, about St.

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Catherine.

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Her words.

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Yeah.

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Times a million.

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You do, thank you.

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The inspiration.

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Yeah.

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To have the vision and then execute it.

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Execute with excellence, with

everything that you do to do,

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like, do it exactly the way you've

envisioned it and not do it halfway.

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Not just talk about the dream.

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Mm-hmm.

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Make the dream come to

life, which is so inspiring.

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Oh, you, you raise a standard.

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Mm-hmm.

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For sure.

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100%.

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Anytime.

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I feel like any of us are in like

some slump or just like burnout even.

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It's like we get on a call or like we

text in the group chat and Mari's like.

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Well, have you thought about that?

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Like the dreamer, but then the action.

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Mm-hmm.

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The steps and like how, this

is how I've done it, this is

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what I've seen success with.

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Like this is what you could maybe do.

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I think this would be great for you.

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Mm-hmm.

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Or for you, she's just really

good at like, you have a knack

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for that really well, so

generous with what you've learned.

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And you are excited to see

people excel in excellence.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Totally.

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A mentor in all that

you've learned to pass on.

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Yes.

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Mm, thanks.

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Yeah.

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That resonates for sure.

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Good.

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Thanks guys.

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Good.

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Meg's 1, 5, 5, 5, 3.

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Guys, we were joking yesterday that

all of us like connected through social

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media, but most of them were like

actively doing the social media thing.

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Yeah.

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And then I was just kind of showing

up and just dancing in the kitchen and

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dancing in my kitchen and I just wasn't

really meant to be here, but somehow I

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Like your account literally was how all

of us used our accounts, like growing

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up, like just like sharing things.

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But then you also, I feel like you

just shared a little bit more on your

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account than like the average person

and people started following you.

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Yeah.

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And so that following just

came through super naturally.

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You weren't trying to like.

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Have a platform.

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And then I was like, how am I here?

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So yeah, but that's the beauty.

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You are so authentic in what you do.

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That's such a Thank you.

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That's, I love that.

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And that comes offline too.

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Yeah.

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You're so authentic in your friendships.

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You are who you are.

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Good.

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Completely.

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Yes.

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And I love that.

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And her handle is

actually not Megs 1 5 53.

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What it used to be, the archive.

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Now it's, it's Meg's under, under

wells under, that's two's two under.

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Yes.

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And she talks about motherhood.

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She's a home birth enthusiast.

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and a photographer.

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True.

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Very talented photographer and

all things health and wellness.

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Yep.

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Mm-hmm.

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And living a holistic lifestyle.

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Yep.

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In a way that's attainable for anyone,

which I think is really important.

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A very stress free,

holistic approach to life.

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Baby steps.

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Baby steps.

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Like when you're living a busy

life and you have little kids

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and there's a lot going on.

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Yeah.

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This is still something that

you can, you can pursue live.

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Mm-hmm.

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Cool.

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Thanks guys.

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In the friend group.

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I feel like you are like the girl's girl.

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Oh good.

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And I love it so much.

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Like, I feel like joy.

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Yeah.

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Like you bring like a fun, like

joyful energy to the group.

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Wait so much.

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Because I feel like I'm

like, yeah, I did that.

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I was me in college, but I

think since becoming a mom I'm

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like, I don't know how to talk.

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No, that's still you.

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You're still, that's still you.

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And you have like, even

just the past like.

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24 hours less than, than we've

been together so far in this trip.

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You've reminded me of some of

my friends in college that were

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just like fun, silly girls.

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Girls laughing like, you just like laugh.

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And I just, it makes me

laugh and it makes me happy.

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I'm like, oh my gosh.

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Like girl things.

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Yeah.

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So, and I feel like you're the

girl's girl that just like you.

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Like there's no topic that's like,

no, not touched, there's no tmi.

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Yeah.

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Like you can talk about anything

with anybody , and everybody friend

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needs, every friend group needs that.

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Oh, good.

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And the word lightheartedness comes to

mind, which I think is interesting because

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you are going through heavy things, right.

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But you're still able to live in joy.

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Yes.

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And like have a lightheartedness about

you and bring that to the friend group.

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Wow.

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Mm-hmm.

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Perfect.

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That was really well said.

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Okay.

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Claire!

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Claire is a certified etiquette

instructor and she is excellent at

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teaching etiquette in a way that

is applicable to our daily life.

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Yes, yes.

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Which I think is.

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A different approach.

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Like yeah, I would've

thought of etiquette before.

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I would've thought like, I

would've never thought of that.

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That has no nothing to do with my life.

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Yeah.

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But I actually do learn so much from

you, so much, so many like little

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things that are applicable that

some people might think like, oh,

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we don't need that in our culture.

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But it's like, actually we do.

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And actually like we stand out so much.

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When you do take those little things into

consideration, I think there's so much

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about like living with intentionality.

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That comes with etiquette.

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And one thing I love that you share about

is that marriage of etiquette and virtue.

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And you're not just doing it for the show.

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You're not just teaching these things

because, oh, you'll just look better.

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Mm-hmm.

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But because at the heart of it

all, there's a goodness to it.

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The dignity of the other human,

human person that you're Yeah.

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You know, confronting.

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Yeah.

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And I feel like what's really cool

about that is before the flux of

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etiquette in your life, I feel like

that was still very much who you were.

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Like it just made sense

that that was the next step.

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Because if I had never.

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Gone to Claire's house

and been hosted by them.

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I would never know the extent

to which you could love a host.

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Like it's unreal.

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Like the fresh flowers

in the guest bathroom.

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I was like, what is happening?

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And like the steak dinners,

I was like, I mean, geez.

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Okay, so now my bar.

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I think the thing about all of

us and all of you in my life is

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like the bar has been raised.

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Everybody's showing me how to be better

in different areas of my life that I just

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don't consider not 'cause I'm just like.

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Lazy, but just, just don't think about it.

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Yeah.

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And so everyone fills that in really well.

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Thank you.

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Just very graceful.

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Thank you . in the friend group,

I feel like you are an idea girl.

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Uhhuh the dreamer.

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Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.

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Yeah.

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Like I just feel like you bring so

many like, exciting, fresh ideas

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and thoughts to the table and you

kind of like get us excited and

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kind of like get our creative juices

flowing . You always have the next idea.

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Yes.

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Like this.

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And you get so excited.

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So excited for every idea.

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Yeah.

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Every time I was gonna say

energy, which I feel like Yes.

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Energy.

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Wow.

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Just you get enthusiastic with us and

for us, and you're just like, let's go.

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And it, it's not that it's outside of

your character, but when you, when you get

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that way, we're like, she like, let's go.

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Yeah.

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We're doing this.

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I feel like there's an encourager

in you that is so restorative

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for like women in general, but

like a women dynamic friend group.

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Yes, yes.

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'cause there is never a sense of

competition coming from you and there's

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never a sense of like envy either.

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Like when anybody shares a win, you

genuinely are so happy for them and you

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genuinely share that and you encourage

and you love on them and you celebrate

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them and you're like, you deserve this.

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You did so good.

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Go celebrate.

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Like, you know, all these

beautiful affirmations.

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You always, yeah.

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You always remind us like,

you should stop and celebrate.

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Yes.

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Always.

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And I'm always like, oh yeah.

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Oh yeah, I should.

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Yeah, I should.

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She just keeps telling us and

we just keep not doing it.

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We're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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But yeah, it's nice to know that

someone else is like affirming what

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the work we've done . That's the group.

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Yeah.

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Do we wanna talk a little bit

about like how our group started

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? Like how are we all friends?

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Like the origin story?

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Okay.

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I need to know in the comments of this.

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Do you comment on podcasts?

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I don't even know.

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I don't, I need to tell if

you know the word lore or not.

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That's all I need to say.

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Because we did not know, did not know.

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We did not know the word

for it, which I'm, but they

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thought it was from Star Wars.

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Star Wars, which it might be.

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But here we're the lo origin story.

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So the origin story of the group.

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Well, so there's like a pre origin

story and then like a true origin story.

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Right.

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We all started on social

media around:

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Around, yeah.

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2018 was seven years ago.

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Mm-hmm.

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We just started sharing like

faith and family life and our

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own journey with the Lord.

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Yep.

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And so we all connected

during that time and our own

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friendships began with each other.

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And then in 2020 when everything

shut down in Covid, I was missing the

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fellowship and friendship of mm-hmm.

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My office team.

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Yeah.

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And working with people and

chatting with people and talking

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business and all of these things.

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And so I reached out to all of you,

like, let's meet monthly and talk

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about, even though we're doing very

different businesses, but we're also all

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using social media for our businesses.

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Yeah.

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Mm-hmm.

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So let's just support each other

and have fun and brainstorm

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and work through obstacles.

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And it's developed.

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That was five years ago.

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Yeah.

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It's developed so much

since then, which is crazy.

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It's funny too.

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It's been so funny because.

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I when explaining it to people,

I literally say, I use the word

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coworker 'cause I'm like, otherwise

you feel so alone and like no

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one else knows what you're doing.

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Yes.

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No one else knows.

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Even like the lingo for things.

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Yes.

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Mm-hmm.

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And so I'm like, yeah.

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It's kind of like I get on a

monthly call with my coworker.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Even though we all do our separate

things that aren't actually

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related, we're all doing, we're in

the same space work in that area.

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Yeah.

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So it's very helpful and it's

been beautiful to see that

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develop to daily text Daily.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And a true virtuous friendship

about more than social media.

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Everything.

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I was sharing with a friend recently

about, you know, our lore story and how it

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basically, like how it has progressed and

how it was like, okay, we're gonna support

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each other on social media and just like,

share goals and keep us accountable.

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Yeah.

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To we're actually gonna like push

our ourselves in those goals.

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Yeah.

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To like grow in education, to

grow in our skills, to better

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our craft, to do our jobs better.

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Yeah.

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And encourage each other in that way.

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To then catching up on life.

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Mm-hmm.

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And like spending basically the first

45 minutes of calls just like catching

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up on like, how is everybody doing?

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Yeah.

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Like if someone's having a bad time,

like letting them have a good cry.

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I think there was a time we hopped

on where we, and we forgot the

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topic that we were even doing.

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'cause everybody had a sob

story that needed to Yes.

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And that we just needed to happen.

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Yes.

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And it just progressed into this like

real virtuous friendship where like

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we don't just care about each other's

businesses and others' like social

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media, like goals, but we actually

care about each other as friends.

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We really care about

each other's families.

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About each other's marriages,

health journeys, health journey.

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Like we are all of us.

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Yeah.

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What was the stat you

shared the other day?

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When we were out at night

with the seven years?

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Yes.

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I've seen that on social

media a couple times.

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And it says like, if you have a

friendship for longer than seven

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years, then that's like what you need

to get to, to have a friend for life.

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We need a baby.

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Which like, we're not past seven years.

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Oh, this is the seven.

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We're at seven years.

457

:

This is, but is this the seventh year?

458

:

2018 is when we started.

459

:

Who's good?

460

:

19, 20, 21, 22, 23.

461

:

Well, I got married in

:

462

:

So this is the seventh year.

463

:

The seventh.

464

:

So we have to make it through

this year through the year.

465

:

No pressure.

466

:

But y'all can't leave.

467

:

Yeah, no, it's true.

468

:

This is now public because

we're locking it in here.

469

:

Yes, it's true.

470

:

And, and we have such a beautiful

gift to share our Catholic

471

:

faith with, with each other.

472

:

Yeah.

473

:

And to be able to share about our

spiritual lives and to be able

474

:

to support each other in prayer.

475

:

Like we are asking for prayer

intentions all the time.

476

:

Mm-hmm.

477

:

And genuinely for, I hope,

praying for each other.

478

:

No, and I think it's the beauty with

social media, because sometimes social

479

:

media, it, there are negatives to it.

480

:

100%.

481

:

Totally.

482

:

But this is a beautiful fruit.

483

:

This is, I pray, a lifelong friendship.

484

:

Yeah.

485

:

Mm-hmm.

486

:

And to take those.

487

:

It's, it is tempting to see only

the negative of social media,

488

:

but this has been one of the

best positives of our life.

489

:

Life giving.

490

:

Yes.

491

:

Hundred percent.

492

:

No, totally.

493

:

Especially another conversation we've

had too is like as you get older and

494

:

more into your adult life mm-hmm.

495

:

Those really close-knit friendships

are harder and harder to form,

496

:

at least in my experience.

497

:

Like just take longer to form.

498

:

And usually a lot of those close

friendships came from childhood

499

:

friends or college friends that

you spent so much time with.

500

:

So it is really special that we've been

able to develop such a close friendship.

501

:

And I think it's largely due

to the commitment we do have.

502

:

To our monthly calls, to our relationship,

to our monthly calls to being active

503

:

in the, in the group chats, to

checking in if someone hasn't texted.

504

:

And if anyone hasn't texted in a

while, someone eventually pick up.

505

:

It's been a couple days,

Hey, how's everyone doing?

506

:

Yes.

507

:

And everyone sends like a

paragraph of how they're doing.

508

:

Mm-hmm.

509

:

Yeah.

510

:

And it's true that that takes

time and commitment and effort.

511

:

Like it takes time.

512

:

Investment.

513

:

Yes.

514

:

Investment.

515

:

Yeah.

516

:

And that's, it's worth it.

517

:

It's worth it.

518

:

Yeah.

519

:

No, totally.

520

:

Well, today we're gonna be chatting

about, um, we called it, um, what

521

:

we talked about earlier, like

pulling the curtain back, pulling

522

:

the curtain back on influencer life.

523

:

Yeah.

524

:

So we're all just girls, right.

525

:

But we also do share about

our lives on social media.

526

:

Yeah.

527

:

And the Lord has blessed our

platforms and we've all grown a

528

:

pretty substantial following and we

share the different things that we're

529

:

passionate with and serve women online.

530

:

Um, and there's a lot of.

531

:

Goodness and beauty to that.

532

:

Mm-hmm.

533

:

And then there's also a lot of like

confusion and misconception and hard

534

:

stigma, stigmas, and also just like Yeah.

535

:

Hardships that come with being so

open about your life and being,

536

:

having influence and your faith

life and being in, um, kind of like

537

:

the spotlight a little bit more.

538

:

So we just wanna share like

a really candid perspective.

539

:

Yeah.

540

:

Just the chat about the experience.

541

:

Exactly.

542

:

Our, I mean, we were having it

over breakfast and then we were

543

:

like, okay, stop, stop, stop.

544

:

Grab the mics.

545

:

Grab the mics.

546

:

Because I feel like this is

something people perceive.

547

:

One thing, like I, I know I do

it with some people I follow too.

548

:

I perceive one thing about their life

or what their reality must be like

549

:

without knowing the full picture of it.

550

:

Mm.

551

:

And so like, hopefully this kind

of gives you some insight to like a

552

:

deeper level of understanding of what

it is that we do and how it impacts

553

:

us in a day-to-day basis and whatnot.

554

:

Because we all.

555

:

If you're listening to this, chances

are you follow Mari or one of another

556

:

one of us, or all of us, maybe even.

557

:

Mm-hmm.

558

:

And so it's like you connect

with us already on that way.

559

:

So hopefully this just gives

you a little bit more of our

560

:

heart behind this, you know?

561

:

Mm-hmm.

562

:

So should we share like why each of us?

563

:

I love that started I think it would

be good to talk about like agree,

564

:

what was our heart in the beginning?

565

:

Why did we start?

566

:

Yes.

567

:

Totally sharing things on I Instagram.

568

:

Because you also like, even though you

didn't have the intention, the end goal

569

:

in mind, I scratched zero strategy.

570

:

You were sharing things.

571

:

Yes.

572

:

For a reason.

573

:

For a reason.

574

:

That's right.

575

:

That's right.

576

:

Go ahead Melissa, what about you?

577

:

Okay, so part of my conversion

story was, hearing the witness of

578

:

other people's conversion and being

so moved by that and being brought

579

:

to God through their stories.

580

:

Mm-hmm.

581

:

And so I felt really convicted to share

my story and to just share my life

582

:

because I didn't know when I was growing

up, I didn't know young Catholic people.

583

:

Yeah.

584

:

Who were normal and cool, who

were also dedicated to their

585

:

faith and living their faith.

586

:

Like I didn't have any examples of that.

587

:

I didn't know that that

was something that existed.

588

:

So once I had my conversion encountered,

Jesus started meeting people who

589

:

were full on like in love with the

Lord living a Catholic lifestyle.

590

:

But.

591

:

Would go to mass and then go out to

happy hour and like we're normal and

592

:

cool and fun and dressed really cute.

593

:

And I was like, wait, you can do that.

594

:

And so.

595

:

When AJ and I got married in 2018,

it just felt really natural to

596

:

start sharing about our marriage.

597

:

And I switched my account,

it was private before that.

598

:

And so I made my account public and

I was like, let me just share our

599

:

experience in our marriage, in our

faith, the way that we pray together.

600

:

Because I had no idea how

to do any of those things.

601

:

Right.

602

:

And it would've been amazing if I was in

college and had somebody to look up to.

603

:

Totally.

604

:

Like, how do I pray with someone?

605

:

I have no idea.

606

:

Um, and that's like, that

was often, especially in the

607

:

beginning, a question that I got.

608

:

How do you pray with your

boyfriend or your fiance?

609

:

Yes, I get that question

still all the time.

610

:

Yeah.

611

:

So.

612

:

That was my intention in the beginning was

to share just my, my own life, my marriage

613

:

and my faith to be an example to others.

614

:

And then when I started working, which

was also 20, 20 18, was when I went

615

:

into private practice as a therapist.

616

:

And my boss and mentor at the time was

like, you need to be on social media.

617

:

That's where her clients were coming from.

618

:

Wow.

619

:

And so she was the push because I, I

wanted to do it, but I was a little

620

:

nervous and AJ was like, I don't know,

like how I feel about you sharing

621

:

our lives online at that point.

622

:

And so she recommended like, talk with him

about the things that you want to share

623

:

first, make sure he feels comfortable too,

and then share if he feels comfortable.

624

:

Mm-hmm.

625

:

Um, and so it was kind of work related,

but more personal, but it led to work

626

:

and that's kind of how it's always been.

627

:

Yeah.

628

:

And then just developed and grown.

629

:

And I've had many midlife crisises

about social media since then.

630

:

We all have had those moments.

631

:

We all, it's Where do you

feel like you're at now?

632

:

Now it's intentionally

I'm using social media.

633

:

For work, like to connect

with my ideal clients.

634

:

Yes.

635

:

Um, and to be able to serve

beyond just my clients.

636

:

Mm-hmm.

637

:

Love that.

638

:

So my clients primarily find me both for

therapy and for, for Creighton services.

639

:

They primarily find me through Instagram

and YouTube too, which I haven't

640

:

been active on for like four years,

but they still find me on there too.

641

:

Yeah.

642

:

Um, so my clients are

actively finding me on there.

643

:

And then now, just like the past year,

I'm starting to look into how do I serve?

644

:

More than just the clients

that I'm face to face with.

645

:

Mm-hmm.

646

:

Because the, the capacity

for that is capped.

647

:

I can only see so many clients in a week.

648

:

Yes.

649

:

Um, your time is limited.

650

:

Yeah.

651

:

And raising kids and everything.

652

:

Yeah.

653

:

So, yeah, it's been interesting.

654

:

But that's my goal with it now at this

point, is connecting with clients, being

655

:

able to serve them either one-on-one

or like in some other capacity.

656

:

Yeah.

657

:

Yeah.

658

:

Beautiful.

659

:

What about you?

660

:

Yeah, Amari for me, it was

also very closely tied to

661

:

my conversion or reversion.

662

:

I grew up Catholic, but um, it was

summer of:

663

:

had a super, super transformational

summer I was an intern with Focus

664

:

for the first time and my eyes were

opened to this Catholic world of.

665

:

Young Catholics that were my age

that loved the Lord that were

666

:

really cool and normal people.

667

:

The way I always described it was

like people that I would've been super

668

:

attracted to be friends with without

even knowing that they were Catholic.

669

:

Yes.

670

:

And then that they were Catholics.

671

:

And I was like, what?

672

:

You exist?

673

:

I thought I was weird for like, totally

wanting to be like Catholic, you know?

674

:

And, and so they really inspired

me and they basically discipled

675

:

me all summer and inspired me

to live a Christ-centered life.

676

:

And they showed me that that's possible.

677

:

And I was super inspired by that and I.

678

:

The Lord has had always placed in my

heart like a gift of leading others.

679

:

And so I felt that

summer, I was like, wow.

680

:

Like I want to do this for other women.

681

:

Mm-hmm.

682

:

I want to show other women this

same experience that you can live a

683

:

Christ-centered life in every part of

your life and not sacrifice all the things

684

:

that you love, but just grow in virtue

and kind of just shed that worldliness.

685

:

Mm-hmm.

686

:

And live into the daughter God

actually has created you to be mm-hmm.

687

:

And find abundance and life there.

688

:

And so that summer some of the girls

were like, oh, you should follow a couple

689

:

girls on Instagram that are doing this.

690

:

And at the time there was only a

few that were like really talking

691

:

about like Catholic faith life

and, and all this kind of stuff.

692

:

Um, and I just like felt the Lord kind of

put it on my heart to, to do that as well.

693

:

And I think when I started it, I

had no idea what it would become.

694

:

And I didn't necessarily like set out

to be like, this is gonna be my career.

695

:

I'm gonna have a career.

696

:

Yeah, no, I was just like, this would

be super fun to like have a blog.

697

:

Like Yeah.

698

:

No, it was, it was just like truly from

a place of like inspiration and like a

699

:

creativity to like share about my faith.

700

:

Yeah.

701

:

And encourage others.

702

:

Um.

703

:

And so it's, yeah, it was really

always just from a place of like

704

:

wanting to, wanting to encourage, and

I just shared about how I was living

705

:

my faith life in college as a college

girl and what my prayer was like.

706

:

I, I was always very much like

faith focused, um, and talking

707

:

about prayer and everything.

708

:

And then part of that was probably

just like my formation with focus

709

:

those summers, and then becoming a

missionary and having my actual job be

710

:

like walking with people in their faith.

711

:

Just prayer, literal prayer,

which was, I mean, such a gift.

712

:

We started every single day

with the holy hour and mass.

713

:

So, yeah, totally.

714

:

Yeah.

715

:

Yeah.

716

:

And then that's how I started.

717

:

Now it's like not just that.

718

:

Yes, you're right, yes.

719

:

And now I feel like I have allowed myself

to kind of expand, to share more of

720

:

the things that I love in my life and

the way that I, so I just like launched

721

:

my, my brand website and all that,

and the way I kind of explained it.

722

:

Thank you.

723

:

Look at it.

724

:

Thank you.

725

:

The way I kind of explained it is like.

726

:

If I were friends with you in real

life, like I would be sharing all these

727

:

things that I love with you, right?

728

:

We would be connecting on

all these different levels

729

:

that I'm passionate about.

730

:

Mm-hmm.

731

:

Not just my faith life, but

also marriage, also homemaking

732

:

, Also like my clean living journey

that I've been like so into

733

:

these past like three years.

734

:

Yeah.

735

:

Four years almost.

736

:

And so I wanted to find a place for

all of that in my Instagram as well.

737

:

And I think that in doing so, my hopes

is that I will be able to resonate

738

:

even more with the viewer on the

other side because they have other

739

:

interests besides their faith as well.

740

:

Mm-hmm.

741

:

And they are like, usually our followings

are kind of, they kind of grow up with us.

742

:

Right.

743

:

And so like No, that's true.

744

:

We were all in college when we

started and then we got married and

745

:

you know, some of us are mothers and

so I feel like them growing with me.

746

:

We kind of share those interests

of like, oh, like what's that

747

:

sourdough recipe you're using?

748

:

Yeah.

749

:

And like, yeah.

750

:

What laundry detergent do you use?

751

:

Yeah.

752

:

And tell me about your marriage

and how are you bringing

753

:

Christ into your marriage?

754

:

Yeah.

755

:

Um, so being able to share different

aspects of my life and how I'm

756

:

bringing Christ a Christ-like lens

into each one of those aspects, um,

757

:

to encourage others to do the same.

758

:

Yeah.

759

:

And now you're a full-time influencer.

760

:

Yeah.

761

:

Full-time.

762

:

Full-time content creator.

763

:

Like that's what you're doing.

764

:

Mm-hmm.

765

:

Full-time, which is not, yeah.

766

:

That wasn't your original intention.

767

:

It was not, but it's grown into that.

768

:

Yeah.

769

:

Yeah.

770

:

It's beautiful.

771

:

Yeah.

772

:

And it just shows that God has

amazing plans that we just don't

773

:

even know what they are, faith

based, you know what I mean?

774

:

Like, the reasons for all of us, I think

in some capacity or another was like,

775

:

Hey, my Catholic faith means a lot to me.

776

:

Mm-hmm.

777

:

And I wanna share about it in a

way that's maybe more inviting

778

:

or more colorful or whatever than

anyone's heard of it in the past.

779

:

Mm-hmm.

780

:

Um, and now everyone's doing that.

781

:

In some form for their career.

782

:

I feel like a lot of us have that same

experience of not having an example of

783

:

like a beautiful, holy lifestyle that's

also normal and cool and fun, right?

784

:

Mm-hmm.

785

:

And so we've wanted to share

that with people, right?

786

:

What about you, Meg?

787

:

How did you tell us how you started?

788

:

Well, it's funny because I think people,

people who don't know me will, that will

789

:

stumble on my page and will comment maybe

negatively about it or judge or whatever,

790

:

will say things like, you're just doing

this for the camera, or whatever, right?

791

:

And I'm like, you need to

go back on my Facebook.

792

:

About 10 to 15 years ago when I was.

793

:

10, 11 and recording stuff with

the photo booth on my books.

794

:

Totally.

795

:

And uploading it to my Facebook

like I was a YouTuber at the time.

796

:

Yeah.

797

:

Like this has always been something that

I enjoyed doing as like a creative outlet.

798

:

Same thing with writing.

799

:

I had a diary since I was like six

or seven that I wrote in religiously,

800

:

always journaled one of my favorite

forms of like prayer or even like

801

:

connecting with other people through

letters and journaling and writing.

802

:

Mm-hmm.

803

:

And so I've always loved.

804

:

Creating with photo, video and writing.

805

:

And so I was like, well, now there's

like an outlet for me to do that.

806

:

Cool.

807

:

And so I just kind of took to it

and just literally no strategy.

808

:

Mm-hmm.

809

:

No goal really whatsoever.

810

:

Just was gonna have fun

with it and share my heart.

811

:

And just on your personal Instagram?

812

:

On my personal Instagram, yeah.

813

:

Yeah, yeah.

814

:

Um, and we joked that I had numbers

in my, in my, uh, handle, in

815

:

my handle for the longest time.

816

:

And it was like my, my soccer jersey.

817

:

Yeah.

818

:

Until you got married.

819

:

Right?

820

:

Until I got married.

821

:

Like for a very, for too long at the time.

822

:

For sure.

823

:

Um, and that was a huge part of it

too, like, Hey, I'm a college athlete.

824

:

And I absolutely love what I'm doing.

825

:

Yeah.

826

:

And I love being athletic and

lifting heavy weights, but I'm also

827

:

very feminine and wait, oh my gosh.

828

:

You can do both.

829

:

You don't have to like pick a side.

830

:

Um, and you can go to mass every

Sunday and still be a college athlete.

831

:

And like, there's just so

many different stereotypes.

832

:

I think I was breaking for myself.

833

:

Yes.

834

:

And like realizing for myself

that I was like, oh, that's cool.

835

:

And just sharing it along the way.

836

:

Yes.

837

:

Mm-hmm.

838

:

And then it just, I'm here.

839

:

And people started following that.

840

:

People started.

841

:

And I think that that's attractive.

842

:

Like that confidence and it being

able to break those stereotypes.

843

:

Yeah.

844

:

And live out all of those roles joyfully

and beautifully is attractive to people.

845

:

And to be totally honest too, you

mentioned confidence, but I think

846

:

there was a big part of it at

the beginning where I was like.

847

:

Like, I want to break this stereotype.

848

:

I want to test the stereotype

and see if it's true or not.

849

:

Mm-hmm.

850

:

So it was a little bit of

fake it till you make it.

851

:

Yes.

852

:

It always is.

853

:

Yeah.

854

:

Like it always, let's see, let's

write it out and see if this is legit.

855

:

And then eventually it kind of evolves

into full blown confidence, you know?

856

:

Mm-hmm.

857

:

If it's successful or whatnot.

858

:

Mm-hmm.

859

:

Um, but yeah, there was definitely

a lot of like, okay, I am literally

860

:

dancing in my kitchen on Instagram to

people who literally don't know me.

861

:

And that's a little intimidating.

862

:

But I think something I loved about the

dancing in the Kitchen days is that you

863

:

were also talking about, you were talking

about your faith and all these things.

864

:

Yeah.

865

:

And then you were just like being

silly and lighthearted and Yeah.

866

:

Having fun.

867

:

Yes.

868

:

And I didn't see that, like I thought.

869

:

Either you were very Catholic

and so you were like a really old

870

:

holy grandma who just prayed the

rosary every day and was like mean.

871

:

Yeah, true or no, in

between you were worldly.

872

:

Like there was no option of like being

fun and lighthearted and true living

873

:

in the world, but being devoted to God.

874

:

True.

875

:

That's true.

876

:

I had no examples of that growing up.

877

:

Me either.

878

:

So to see you living it was like.

879

:

Yes.

880

:

Thank you.

881

:

Yeah, thank you.

882

:

Yeah.

883

:

And I think that's why you've attract,

you attracted so many women, even when

884

:

you weren't even trying to, because like

we said earlier, it felt like the girl's

885

:

girl that you wanna be friends with or

that friend that you do have in your life.

886

:

But then she's also Catholic and

she also is an athlete and she also

887

:

calling you to Virtue is a mom.

888

:

Yeah.

889

:

I mean, and then it really, like, I

always say like Avery was my claim to

890

:

fame, but like it really took off when,

I mean people love, love were doing, it

891

:

was a military relationship and it's long

distance and we're young and we're 20.

892

:

And so it's like the college athlete and

the Marine and like this whole thing.

893

:

The drama.

894

:

The drama, yeah.

895

:

And ever since then, like anytime I

share about marriage or motherhood,

896

:

those are the top two things that

like resonate the most with people.

897

:

Mm-hmm.

898

:

So I definitely think there's a bit

of like unfolding that's happening

899

:

where understanding the audience

and like considering them even and

900

:

being thoughtful about what am I

sharing and how can I give you value?

901

:

Because prior to that I

was just like showing up.

902

:

It's like a journal or like a diary.

903

:

It, it was honestly

like a, a video journal.

904

:

So now, yeah.

905

:

What's your goal now?

906

:

Because it's very different

than the early days.

907

:

Yeah.

908

:

Well, my goal now, is to one,

just continue to do what I did.

909

:

Yeah.

910

:

Like to somehow maintain what I've

always done, which was just to

911

:

document beautiful a very like.

912

:

Used to be very Visco Eve.

913

:

Yeah.

914

:

Like photos if you guys, or

Tumblr, I guess you could say even.

915

:

Yeah.

916

:

Um, and now it's like, well, presets

and photography and beautiful photos.

917

:

It's always been important to me.

918

:

Um, and then just like I'm a romantic

and so I love like the aspect of reels

919

:

where we can story tell a little more

intimately now and we can put music with

920

:

it, which just like, so much better.

921

:

Yeah.

922

:

Um, and so sharing about motherhood

and marriage in those ways and

923

:

birth, birth transformed my life.

924

:

Yes.

925

:

So if you come to my page,

that's what you will see.

926

:

Um, yeah.

927

:

And then, then, then the faith

just intertwined in all of that.

928

:

Mm-hmm.

929

:

And saying like, yeah, we're, you know, 27

and we have three children, four children,

930

:

one of them in heaven, three with us.

931

:

Mm-hmm.

932

:

And like, we are still in the military

and we don't know what life looks like.

933

:

Yep.

934

:

Mm-hmm.

935

:

The drama's starting to come back.

936

:

The drama is, is there

if you're interested.

937

:

Never left.

938

:

It's still there.

939

:

Never left.

940

:

I just shut it in a corner for four years.

941

:

That is so funny.

942

:

Yeah.

943

:

Claire, Claire.

944

:

Claire.

945

:

For us it was very intentional going in.

946

:

I feel that And you started

before any of us did:

947

:

Yeah.

948

:

She was like the amber filler up of

Catholics, I feel like in some capacity.

949

:

She was.

950

:

I love it.

951

:

I remember the braids even.

952

:

Yes.

953

:

Yeah.

954

:

Your braids.

955

:

Oh my gosh.

956

:

The braids, hair tutorials.

957

:

Those you did hair tutorials.

958

:

Yeah.

959

:

I used, used to do.

960

:

I was not there.

961

:

I was just You did.

962

:

I remember You did.

963

:

But we started as a blog,

like blogging was huge for us.

964

:

I, I always wanted a blog.

965

:

And then after my son Peter

was born, I was like, this is,

966

:

I feel so called to do this.

967

:

Mm-hmm.

968

:

And so I was praying, um, 'cause

my husband Mike and I would write

969

:

love letters to one another and.

970

:

All throughout our engagement and I

started praying God, like what's a,

971

:

a beautiful love letter to us and St.

972

:

Francis' Sales, um, dear Philothea,

who is the one who loves God,

973

:

philia is the one who loves God.

974

:

And I was, this is what my page has to be.

975

:

Finding philia, finding the one who

loves God, finding our true self.

976

:

That's so beautiful.

977

:

That is beautiful.

978

:

I know.

979

:

I love it every time

it's carried full circle.

980

:

Especially since incorporating

etiquette because guess who the

981

:

patron saint of etiquette is.

982

:

The gentleman Saint is St.

983

:

Francis' Saint.

984

:

No.

985

:

What Golden thread in

my life has been what?

986

:

I didn't know that.

987

:

I know, I know.

988

:

When I Googled that, I felt like the

Holy Spirit has been That's crazy.

989

:

So active.

990

:

Well, and the reason that's

crazy is because that's a new

991

:

aspect of your account, right?

992

:

Like that's not what you started with.

993

:

Exactly.

994

:

So it it's beautiful.

995

:

Wow.

996

:

So cool.

997

:

He's he's the golden

thread in our, our story.

998

:

So we started definitely faith.

999

:

Beauty has been so

transformative in my life.

:

00:34:55,818 --> 00:34:57,228

Beauty is so gentle.

:

00:34:57,438 --> 00:35:01,578

Where, where goodness and truth

can be abrasive sometimes.

:

00:35:01,876 --> 00:35:04,044

Beauty has saved me many times.

:

00:35:04,104 --> 00:35:04,434

Yes.

:

00:35:04,434 --> 00:35:07,884

And led me to the faith, and I

wanted to share that with others

:

00:35:07,884 --> 00:35:09,384

online with finding philia.

:

00:35:09,444 --> 00:35:14,034

So the beauty of family, life,

marriage, motherhood, suffering.

:

00:35:14,134 --> 00:35:18,244

my husband and I experienced secondary

infertility and we just sharing

:

00:35:18,244 --> 00:35:22,360

that story with people through the

lens of, suffering can bring joy

:

00:35:22,390 --> 00:35:24,155

when we fully submit it to Christ.

:

00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:24,435

Mm-hmm.

:

00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:28,420

And all just throughout the years, I

think it's been eight years now of just

:

00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:34,540

sharing that beauty, but within the

past three or four years, I, um, really

:

00:35:34,540 --> 00:35:36,940

felt the call, especially after Covid.

:

00:35:36,940 --> 00:35:39,940

I think just seeing the

interactions people would have.

:

00:35:40,450 --> 00:35:44,710

And my dream since I was 15 when I

first went to my etiquette class,

:

00:35:44,710 --> 00:35:46,390

first set it with Miss Judith.

:

00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:48,115

Aw, shout out to Miss Judith.

:

00:35:48,115 --> 00:35:48,956

Shout out to Miss Judi.

:

00:35:49,210 --> 00:35:50,680

She'd be so proud of you.

:

00:35:50,860 --> 00:35:54,340

And the way she made me feel so loved.

:

00:35:54,340 --> 00:35:57,040

I remember her clearly because she just.

:

00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,150

Saw me.

:

00:35:58,180 --> 00:36:00,820

She, she taught me that

dignity of the human person.

:

00:36:00,820 --> 00:36:02,290

Like this is the heart of etiquette.

:

00:36:02,290 --> 00:36:07,540

It's, it's showing that you are a

gift to the world, you know, and

:

00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:09,610

to receive that gift of others too.

:

00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:14,140

And when I entered the etiquette

world, it was such a stark contrast

:

00:36:14,140 --> 00:36:18,370

in some areas of that, because it was

all about appearance looking good.

:

00:36:18,790 --> 00:36:23,380

And I'm like, no, I need to the true

self, you know, Philothea, let's find our

:

00:36:23,380 --> 00:36:25,810

true self to give the one who loves God.

:

00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,770

And to incorporate that virtue

and beauty within the world of

:

00:36:29,770 --> 00:36:31,630

etiquette is my mission now.

:

00:36:31,635 --> 00:36:34,720

And, and to share the heart of etiquette.

:

00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:36,280

So that's where I'm at now.

:

00:36:36,490 --> 00:36:40,840

Um, I just finished my courses

with it and, and certified

:

00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,400

and ready to just spread that.

:

00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:46,360

That the truth about etiquette,

because it's not just, you know, I

:

00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,040

think people have the misconception.

:

00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,320

It's walking with books

on your head or, yeah.

:

00:36:51,820 --> 00:36:54,760

Which, which there's goodness in

those things that they're there

:

00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:59,020

for a reason, but it's really about

encountering a person and leading that

:

00:36:59,020 --> 00:37:01,420

person to , finding their true self.

:

00:37:01,470 --> 00:37:04,110

You know, and, and leading them to Christ.

:

00:37:04,110 --> 00:37:07,512

It reminds me of the difference

between , doing good to try to

:

00:37:07,512 --> 00:37:10,694

become good or to try to appear good.

:

00:37:10,724 --> 00:37:10,904

Mm-hmm.

:

00:37:11,144 --> 00:37:17,684

Versus learning that you are good and

acting good or doing good as a response

:

00:37:17,684 --> 00:37:21,434

to knowing that you're good, which

are like such very different things.

:

00:37:21,734 --> 00:37:25,094

Are you just trying to achieve goodness

or like, do you know that you are

:

00:37:25,094 --> 00:37:28,844

good and therefore you should do good

because that's who you were made to be?

:

00:37:29,024 --> 00:37:30,524

I'm gonna need to do a

therapy session with you.

:

00:37:31,424 --> 00:37:31,789

That's really good.

:

00:37:32,339 --> 00:37:33,194

I'll never forget.

:

00:37:33,234 --> 00:37:38,784

Starting this with, with Mike,

we read, um, JP two said he

:

00:37:38,784 --> 00:37:40,074

wrote in a letter to Henry Deak.

:

00:37:40,554 --> 00:37:45,234

He's like, the greatest attack in

our world today is the pulverization,

:

00:37:45,234 --> 00:37:47,334

the breakdown of the human person.

:

00:37:47,484 --> 00:37:47,664

Mm-hmm.

:

00:37:47,724 --> 00:37:48,684

And to build that up.

:

00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:54,414

I think social media can break

people down in some ways if we

:

00:37:54,414 --> 00:37:57,864

allow it to, but there's also that

building up if we allow it to.

:

00:37:57,924 --> 00:37:58,104

Mm-hmm.

:

00:37:58,164 --> 00:37:59,484

And that's the difference too.

:

00:37:59,544 --> 00:38:01,074

You know, our, we.

:

00:38:01,614 --> 00:38:05,304

Going in with that mindset of,

let's, let's give value to these,

:

00:38:05,454 --> 00:38:09,654

let's share our stories, let's

share the beauty behind our faith.

:

00:38:09,684 --> 00:38:14,094

That is all, um, helps with the

building up of the human person.

:

00:38:14,154 --> 00:38:17,454

Well, and I don't wanna speak for

everyone, but I feel like I can in some

:

00:38:17,454 --> 00:38:23,904

capacity, say that we've all seen either

firsthand in our lives, like in real life

:

00:38:23,964 --> 00:38:30,414

or even through messages on Instagram, the

ways in which our pages and our stories

:

00:38:30,414 --> 00:38:34,659

or our, like the content or whatever has

built up someone else's life Absolutely.

:

00:38:34,704 --> 00:38:38,034

Or has made them feel less alone, or

has brought them back to the church.

:

00:38:38,034 --> 00:38:40,584

I mean, the amount of

those are my favorite ones.

:

00:38:40,584 --> 00:38:40,644

Yeah.

:

00:38:40,674 --> 00:38:45,534

When I get one, like years later and I can

scroll all the way back to our like 20,

:

00:38:45,624 --> 00:38:47,904

you know, 19, 20, 20 comments or whatever.

:

00:38:47,904 --> 00:38:48,144

Yeah.

:

00:38:48,144 --> 00:38:48,954

Or messages.

:

00:38:48,954 --> 00:38:51,774

And they're like, Hey, I've been

following you for this many years.

:

00:38:51,779 --> 00:38:51,939

Mm-hmm.

:

00:38:52,019 --> 00:38:54,924

But I just wanted to tell you this Easter

I came back to, or I joined the church.

:

00:38:54,924 --> 00:38:58,644

I've just been like, your com or

content has been a huge part of that.

:

00:38:58,644 --> 00:38:59,154

And I'm like.

:

00:38:59,799 --> 00:39:02,019

How and why and praise God.

:

00:39:02,019 --> 00:39:02,829

Like that's great.

:

00:39:02,834 --> 00:39:02,894

Yes.

:

00:39:02,899 --> 00:39:03,129

Yes.

:

00:39:03,129 --> 00:39:03,699

That's awesome.

:

00:39:03,699 --> 00:39:03,999

Yeah.

:

00:39:04,004 --> 00:39:04,174

Yeah.

:

00:39:04,269 --> 00:39:09,969

Um, and I do think what I'm hearing

from all of us sharing about how we

:

00:39:09,969 --> 00:39:15,489

started our pages is that genuine

desire to serve other women.

:

00:39:15,759 --> 00:39:15,849

Mm-hmm.

:

00:39:16,089 --> 00:39:21,219

And whether that was like, knowingly what

we were doing or what has developed too.

:

00:39:21,219 --> 00:39:21,309

Mm-hmm.

:

00:39:21,849 --> 00:39:27,969

Like, it's really not coming

from a place of vanity or wanting

:

00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:32,079

attention or fame or, you know,

wanting to be in front of the camera.

:

00:39:32,079 --> 00:39:36,759

Like people criticize as bo sometimes, but

it's truly like we have just such a heart.

:

00:39:37,149 --> 00:39:37,899

For women.

:

00:39:38,169 --> 00:39:38,259

Yes.

:

00:39:38,259 --> 00:39:41,529

In certain like corners,

you know, in certain topics.

:

00:39:41,529 --> 00:39:44,919

Like we have a heart to love women,

to support women, to encourage women.

:

00:39:45,249 --> 00:39:49,089

And that is where I feel like social

media can be used for such good, and

:

00:39:49,089 --> 00:39:52,929

that's where people are, they're on

social media, so let's bring the light.

:

00:39:53,499 --> 00:39:54,069

I think of St.

:

00:39:54,069 --> 00:39:56,769

Paul, he used what was

available to him, you know?

:

00:39:56,769 --> 00:39:57,129

Oh yeah.

:

00:39:57,129 --> 00:39:58,539

Use the, the true.

:

00:39:58,749 --> 00:40:01,839

And we have to do the same thing

with proclaiming the gospel.

:

00:40:01,839 --> 00:40:05,949

We have to use the tools and social

media is a tool for us to use.

:

00:40:06,014 --> 00:40:06,434

No, totally.

:

00:40:06,574 --> 00:40:09,459

And so to use that with for the good too.

:

00:40:09,519 --> 00:40:10,359

I so agree.

:

00:40:10,359 --> 00:40:11,919

I love what you said

about like bringing light.

:

00:40:11,919 --> 00:40:13,689

I feel like that's how

I think about it a lot.

:

00:40:13,689 --> 00:40:18,489

Like hoping to bring light to people's

scrolling and to people's feed to kind

:

00:40:18,489 --> 00:40:25,359

of disrupt the maybe negative that they

are seeing or whatever cycle of toxicity

:

00:40:25,359 --> 00:40:26,559

that they feel like they are stuck in.

:

00:40:26,559 --> 00:40:30,039

But like maybe coming across a post

that brings lightness and beauty

:

00:40:30,039 --> 00:40:32,289

and faith and leads them to Christ.

:

00:40:32,649 --> 00:40:32,859

Yeah.

:

00:40:32,859 --> 00:40:34,029

And, and we do fail.

:

00:40:34,029 --> 00:40:35,679

We are imperfect with this.

:

00:40:35,889 --> 00:40:38,289

But there, there's a grace with that too.

:

00:40:38,349 --> 00:40:38,739

You know?

:

00:40:38,769 --> 00:40:41,049

'cause we learn, we learn

from those failures.

:

00:40:41,049 --> 00:40:45,399

We want, we're people to, I love how you

started this with we're, we're just girls.

:

00:40:45,399 --> 00:40:45,909

Girls.

:

00:40:45,909 --> 00:40:46,239

Yeah.

:

00:40:46,734 --> 00:40:47,994

We just wanna be, yeah.

:

00:40:48,159 --> 00:40:52,299

You know, there's also a human

element too, to us for sure.

:

00:40:52,329 --> 00:40:52,509

Yeah.

:

00:40:52,509 --> 00:40:56,114

And to always remember that

too, when you're scrolling.

:

00:40:56,174 --> 00:40:56,594

Mm-hmm.

:

00:40:56,674 --> 00:40:58,659

And we have to remind

ourselves of that too.

:

00:40:58,659 --> 00:41:02,979

That these are souls, real people that

are trying to seek real people Christ too.

:

00:41:02,979 --> 00:41:03,489

Mm-hmm.

:

00:41:03,969 --> 00:41:07,029

And I think if you were to meet

any one of us in person, yeah.

:

00:41:07,179 --> 00:41:11,019

There would not be very much discrepancy

of what you see on the screen.

:

00:41:11,049 --> 00:41:11,169

Yeah.

:

00:41:11,169 --> 00:41:12,129

Too in person.

:

00:41:12,129 --> 00:41:12,850

Like Yeah, exactly.

:

00:41:12,855 --> 00:41:14,259

We're all very genuine and authentic.

:

00:41:14,409 --> 00:41:16,839

I think that's been one of my

least favorite things about

:

00:41:16,839 --> 00:41:18,549

growing, which is funny to say.

:

00:41:18,549 --> 00:41:18,639

Mm-hmm.

:

00:41:18,879 --> 00:41:21,969

But like when it first

started, that was so easy.

:

00:41:21,969 --> 00:41:26,439

And, well, first, why I had no kids

and no husband, but I, it was so easy

:

00:41:26,439 --> 00:41:30,069

to be like, oh my gosh, this person's

messaging me and they're real person.

:

00:41:30,069 --> 00:41:30,070

Mm-hmm.

:

00:41:30,114 --> 00:41:32,799

Living in a totally different

state for me with their own.

:

00:41:33,099 --> 00:41:34,874

Hurts or struggles or experiences in life.

:

00:41:34,874 --> 00:41:35,114

Mm-hmm.

:

00:41:35,199 --> 00:41:38,019

And I can totally devote

full attention to them.

:

00:41:38,109 --> 00:41:38,349

Yes.

:

00:41:38,349 --> 00:41:38,554

And respond.

:

00:41:38,624 --> 00:41:38,914

Yeah.

:

00:41:38,919 --> 00:41:42,519

And I think one of the, my least

favorite things about growing, and

:

00:41:42,819 --> 00:41:44,439

I don't wanna say least favorite

things about having kids, 'cause

:

00:41:44,439 --> 00:41:45,789

there's nothing horrible about that.

:

00:41:45,789 --> 00:41:45,849

Yeah.

:

00:41:45,849 --> 00:41:47,859

But like, time constraint wise.

:

00:41:47,949 --> 00:41:48,219

Yeah.

:

00:41:48,219 --> 00:41:52,749

And capacity wise, it's like

I literally lose messages.

:

00:41:52,749 --> 00:41:52,809

Yeah.

:

00:41:52,839 --> 00:41:57,279

And I'm always like, ah, I wish

there was a way to like catch all or

:

00:41:57,279 --> 00:41:58,359

to like be available to All right.

:

00:41:58,359 --> 00:42:02,169

And it's like totally not realistic

at all, but it like, but I remember

:

00:42:02,169 --> 00:42:06,639

you saying that at the beginning and

like, like loving that part of it.

:

00:42:06,639 --> 00:42:09,459

And I remember you saying often

in stories and stuff like.

:

00:42:09,939 --> 00:42:13,419

I respond to every message

and I go there with you.

:

00:42:13,454 --> 00:42:13,674

Yes.

:

00:42:13,689 --> 00:42:16,239

I like engage and I'm there for you.

:

00:42:16,479 --> 00:42:19,239

And it's, yeah, at some

point, like at some point it's

:

00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:20,229

gotta give, not reasonable.

:

00:42:20,229 --> 00:42:21,879

Not reasonable anymore.

:

00:42:22,179 --> 00:42:25,809

But it's beautiful that like your

heart is to walk with people in

:

00:42:25,809 --> 00:42:29,199

an intimate way and I think you've

just shifted what that looks like.

:

00:42:29,199 --> 00:42:29,259

Yeah.

:

00:42:29,319 --> 00:42:32,649

Based on the capacity that you have

because your family comes first.

:

00:42:32,679 --> 00:42:34,119

Yeah, no, totally.

:

00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:37,209

It's just with birth mentorship and

your guides and things like that.

:

00:42:37,209 --> 00:42:41,709

Like you still want to, I trying to fill

the holes that I can't do personally.

:

00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:42,525

No, totally.

:

00:42:42,525 --> 00:42:46,605

But there's definitely something to be

said for, I mean, I literally last week

:

00:42:46,605 --> 00:42:49,935

had someone message me saying, Hey,

could you give like a prayer request?

:

00:42:49,935 --> 00:42:51,165

I'm sure you guys get

these all the time too.

:

00:42:51,165 --> 00:42:51,495

Yeah.

:

00:42:51,705 --> 00:42:53,325

My grandma's passing away.

:

00:42:53,625 --> 00:42:55,275

Um, and I was like, absolutely.

:

00:42:55,275 --> 00:42:56,595

Sending up a Hail Mary right now.

:

00:42:56,625 --> 00:42:56,715

Yes.

:

00:42:56,715 --> 00:42:58,455

So I was like, cooking dinner

and I was like, I can do that,

:

00:42:58,725 --> 00:42:59,805

or we can always do that.

:

00:42:59,805 --> 00:43:01,605

And I immediately did it.

:

00:43:01,605 --> 00:43:03,525

'cause I know if I say that

you'll do it, I'll never do it.

:

00:43:03,530 --> 00:43:03,825

Yes, yes.

:

00:43:03,825 --> 00:43:05,055

So I immediately did it.

:

00:43:05,355 --> 00:43:09,215

And then, a couple days later she

messaged again and said, Hey, my

:

00:43:09,215 --> 00:43:13,815

grandma passed on Ash Wednesday, and

it's interesting to go into Lent, like

:

00:43:13,815 --> 00:43:15,015

grieving my grandma and everything.

:

00:43:15,015 --> 00:43:16,035

That was very peaceful.

:

00:43:16,455 --> 00:43:19,095

And she was like, your prayers

meant a lot and to know that

:

00:43:19,095 --> 00:43:20,625

you responded meant a lot.

:

00:43:20,625 --> 00:43:21,825

You've always responded.

:

00:43:21,825 --> 00:43:26,805

And then I realized she has messaged

me since like:

:

00:43:26,805 --> 00:43:29,865

it'll, it's like a short blip of

a response, but I'm like, yeah.

:

00:43:30,255 --> 00:43:30,735

Wow.

:

00:43:30,735 --> 00:43:34,155

That like actually impacts someone

when the other person acknowledges

:

00:43:34,155 --> 00:43:36,165

the dignity of them behind the screen.

:

00:43:36,255 --> 00:43:36,555

Yeah.

:

00:43:36,705 --> 00:43:40,575

Especially in times of literally her

grandma passing, like that's, to even be

:

00:43:40,575 --> 00:43:42,775

asked to pray for them is like, honorable.

:

00:43:42,805 --> 00:43:45,265

Like, wow, thank you to

even consider me for that.

:

00:43:45,265 --> 00:43:45,625

Mm-hmm.

:

00:43:45,681 --> 00:43:48,926

, I feel we should talk about some of

like the, the stigma, because the

:

00:43:48,926 --> 00:43:54,796

reality is that social media also

has Yeah some toxic elements to it.

:

00:43:54,796 --> 00:43:58,246

And I think our generations are

realizing that more and more.

:

00:43:58,246 --> 00:44:00,196

And so there's more and more.

:

00:44:00,781 --> 00:44:06,611

Opinions and, maybe like stigmas

or stereotypes that people attach

:

00:44:06,611 --> 00:44:10,031

to influencers, content creators.

:

00:44:10,211 --> 00:44:12,971

Um, and even just around the

experience of social media

:

00:44:12,971 --> 00:44:14,471

and how much that has changed.

:

00:44:14,591 --> 00:44:14,771

Yeah.

:

00:44:14,831 --> 00:44:19,661

Um, and obviously I feel like we have been

creating content throughout those shifts.

:

00:44:19,691 --> 00:44:19,781

Mm-hmm.

:

00:44:20,021 --> 00:44:20,111

Right.

:

00:44:20,111 --> 00:44:23,111

And throughout social media

evolving, Instagram has changed so

:

00:44:23,111 --> 00:44:24,641

much now than what it used to be.

:

00:44:24,981 --> 00:44:27,981

Let's just talk about what are some

of the misconceptions that we feel like

:

00:44:28,131 --> 00:44:32,671

people have about influencers or about

our lives versus what they see on camera?

:

00:44:32,671 --> 00:44:36,001

Or what are some of the experiences

that we've had in interacting with

:

00:44:36,001 --> 00:44:40,231

people on the other side that you're

like, oh man, that's just not true.

:

00:44:40,291 --> 00:44:44,551

I don't think people can comprehend

that we can sit here and say we

:

00:44:44,551 --> 00:44:47,941

genuinely have a heart to serve

people while simultaneously

:

00:44:47,941 --> 00:44:50,161

making an income in some capacity.

:

00:44:50,161 --> 00:44:51,451

Like, I think people are like.

:

00:44:52,171 --> 00:44:53,161

It's one or the other.

:

00:44:53,161 --> 00:44:55,501

Like that couldn't possibly

be a true statement.

:

00:44:55,981 --> 00:44:56,011

Mm.

:

00:44:56,071 --> 00:44:57,061

And that sucks.

:

00:44:57,061 --> 00:44:59,071

'cause why does someone

go to veterinary school?

:

00:44:59,131 --> 00:45:00,331

Because they love animals.

:

00:45:00,366 --> 00:45:03,631

But they make a living off of serving

and loving animals and it's like, or

:

00:45:03,631 --> 00:45:07,561

a teacher or a doctor teacher or like

any, any helping, serving profession.

:

00:45:07,591 --> 00:45:07,921

Yeah.

:

00:45:07,921 --> 00:45:14,161

For some reason that like gets

separated or segregated in the

:

00:45:14,161 --> 00:45:16,651

social media influencer world.

:

00:45:16,681 --> 00:45:17,041

Yeah.

:

00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:20,881

And I don't know, I was just gonna

say, I think especially what I've

:

00:45:20,881 --> 00:45:24,211

experienced is when you add the

faith, the faith element to it.

:

00:45:24,261 --> 00:45:24,681

No, that's true.

:

00:45:24,771 --> 00:45:29,131

A lot of the times there is some

pushback there because, people assume

:

00:45:29,131 --> 00:45:33,631

or expect everything to be done

from a place of complete charity.

:

00:45:33,631 --> 00:45:34,351

Charity ministry.

:

00:45:34,356 --> 00:45:34,426

Yeah.

:

00:45:34,431 --> 00:45:34,651

Yeah.

:

00:45:34,651 --> 00:45:35,221

Ministry.

:

00:45:35,401 --> 00:45:38,371

Well, and, and even ministries,

like, there are ministries

:

00:45:38,371 --> 00:45:39,991

that are compensated for.

:

00:45:39,991 --> 00:45:40,231

Right.

:

00:45:40,231 --> 00:45:42,781

But in people's mind, like if

you're attaching the faith to it.

:

00:45:43,141 --> 00:45:43,591

It's volunteer work.

:

00:45:43,591 --> 00:45:44,521

You shouldn't Yeah.

:

00:45:44,521 --> 00:45:47,131

Like you should be volunteering, you

should be doing everything for free.

:

00:45:47,281 --> 00:45:48,781

Nothing should be paid for.

:

00:45:49,051 --> 00:45:55,651

and my training with focus really

gave me formation and confidence to

:

00:45:55,711 --> 00:45:59,511

know that people that are ministering

deserve to be compensated for.

:

00:45:59,511 --> 00:46:01,221

And like we went through all

this training in scripture and

:

00:46:01,221 --> 00:46:02,032

everything of how like Yeah.

:

00:46:02,037 --> 00:46:04,311

That's like a cardinal sin to

not pay someone a fair wage.

:

00:46:04,371 --> 00:46:05,241

Yes, yes.

:

00:46:05,241 --> 00:46:08,181

And like even the apostles like were paid.

:

00:46:08,391 --> 00:46:08,451

Yeah.

:

00:46:08,481 --> 00:46:11,841

They had sponsors that would like help

them with their food and their lodging

:

00:46:11,841 --> 00:46:16,011

and their necessities and they couldn't

have done the mission that they did.

:

00:46:16,071 --> 00:46:16,251

Right.

:

00:46:16,251 --> 00:46:17,901

Without people supporting

them in that way.

:

00:46:17,961 --> 00:46:18,231

Right.

:

00:46:18,231 --> 00:46:19,221

And the same for us.

:

00:46:19,221 --> 00:46:22,341

I mean, like, if, if we didn't

make an income for a family

:

00:46:22,341 --> 00:46:26,721

through what we're doing, we

would have full-time jobs mm-hmm.

:

00:46:26,991 --> 00:46:27,956

Outside of what we do.

:

00:46:27,956 --> 00:46:28,276

Mm-hmm.

:

00:46:28,376 --> 00:46:29,216

Yeah, exactly.

:

00:46:29,276 --> 00:46:29,366

Mm-hmm.

:

00:46:29,426 --> 00:46:33,926

It reminds me what you were just saying

about the stigma, about like, if you're

:

00:46:33,926 --> 00:46:38,426

earning money from social, from being an

influencer, from being a content creator.

:

00:46:38,951 --> 00:46:40,811

Then it becomes like tainted somehow.

:

00:46:40,901 --> 00:46:41,141

Mm-hmm.

:

00:46:41,591 --> 00:46:46,151

Um, it reminds me of the way that

people talk about NFP too, because

:

00:46:46,151 --> 00:46:48,695

I've gotten that often over the years.

:

00:46:48,795 --> 00:46:50,145

Like that you should be teaching for free.

:

00:46:50,145 --> 00:46:50,325

Yeah.

:

00:46:50,325 --> 00:46:50,955

Basically.

:

00:46:50,985 --> 00:46:55,235

Like this is, this is part of the

church, so why are you charging,

:

00:46:55,235 --> 00:46:59,375

like, everyone should have access to

this information, which I agree with.

:

00:46:59,795 --> 00:47:04,235

And someone has to, I couldn't

sit face to face with clients for

:

00:47:04,235 --> 00:47:08,825

hours and hours and teach them

one-on-one and be away from my family.

:

00:47:08,855 --> 00:47:09,155

Right.

:

00:47:09,155 --> 00:47:10,595

If I wasn't being paid for it.

:

00:47:10,655 --> 00:47:10,865

Yeah.

:

00:47:10,865 --> 00:47:11,555

I couldn't do that.

:

00:47:11,645 --> 00:47:14,375

There's other ways, like you can read

a book, you can take a class online.

:

00:47:14,585 --> 00:47:14,945

Yeah.

:

00:47:15,005 --> 00:47:17,555

There is NFP available for every budget.

:

00:47:17,555 --> 00:47:22,415

You don't have to invest what you would

invest in one-on-one education with me.

:

00:47:22,685 --> 00:47:24,800

But for me to be able to do it, yes.

:

00:47:24,905 --> 00:47:26,280

I have to be paid mm-hmm.

:

00:47:26,365 --> 00:47:27,035

For my work.

:

00:47:27,035 --> 00:47:30,395

And I feel like social media is

the same if you're using it like.

:

00:47:31,010 --> 00:47:32,750

You're doing full time.

:

00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:34,070

More than any of the rest of us.

:

00:47:34,070 --> 00:47:35,390

I feel maybe Claire, you too.

:

00:47:35,390 --> 00:47:39,560

But yeah, like I am seeing clients

and doing social media, and

:

00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:42,200

you're doing photography and like

we're all doing other things.

:

00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:43,400

And you have West Coast Catholic, right.

:

00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,960

But now you're working on @mari.c.wagner.

:

00:47:45,980 --> 00:47:46,340

Yeah.

:

00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:46,760

Right.

:

00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:51,290

And so like you're devoting all of this

time, like your life, your work Yeah.

:

00:47:51,380 --> 00:47:56,420

To this brand and to serving people,

and you're working really hard.

:

00:47:56,570 --> 00:47:56,660

Mm-hmm.

:

00:47:56,900 --> 00:48:00,530

So why should, why shouldn't

you be compensated for that?

:

00:48:00,530 --> 00:48:00,860

Right.

:

00:48:00,910 --> 00:48:01,300

Right.

:

00:48:01,690 --> 00:48:05,650

Um, and so I think the same

is true with, with influencers

:

00:48:05,650 --> 00:48:07,510

that people choose to follow.

:

00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:10,225

Everyone who's following

has to use discernment.

:

00:48:10,225 --> 00:48:12,925

Like, do I get value from this?

:

00:48:12,925 --> 00:48:16,105

Is this something that's like edifying

for me that I'm learning from, I'm

:

00:48:16,105 --> 00:48:20,185

growing from, I'm becoming a better

person from, and naturally the

:

00:48:20,185 --> 00:48:24,055

people that I'm following should be

some, someone that, like, if you're

:

00:48:24,055 --> 00:48:28,075

offering something, I want it, I'm

interested, not that I need to buy it.

:

00:48:28,135 --> 00:48:28,465

Yeah.

:

00:48:28,555 --> 00:48:31,825

But I'm only following you

because I'm interested in learning

:

00:48:31,825 --> 00:48:34,105

from you in some capacity.

:

00:48:34,205 --> 00:48:36,005

So it, it makes sense, right?

:

00:48:36,485 --> 00:48:39,425

Because not everyone's for you

and not everything's for you.

:

00:48:39,425 --> 00:48:42,875

And I think it's okay to just

be like, I just not for me.

:

00:48:42,925 --> 00:48:43,165

Yeah.

:

00:48:43,465 --> 00:48:47,605

I think that reminds me of,

um, in a similar vein, but

:

00:48:47,605 --> 00:48:48,535

slightly different topic.

:

00:48:48,535 --> 00:48:53,155

Reminds me of just another challenge

that we face all being in our faith.

:

00:48:53,215 --> 00:48:55,855

Is representing the church.

:

00:48:55,915 --> 00:48:56,305

Yes.

:

00:48:56,305 --> 00:48:58,285

And having, um, yeah.

:

00:48:58,315 --> 00:49:02,695

Weight and influence

within the area of faith.

:

00:49:02,695 --> 00:49:04,458

I think a struggle there is that.

:

00:49:04,458 --> 00:49:08,058

There is a temptation maybe for the

audience or the viewers to look at

:

00:49:08,088 --> 00:49:12,438

what we say and what we share about

and what we do as church teaching.

:

00:49:12,468 --> 00:49:12,528

Yeah.

:

00:49:12,918 --> 00:49:16,008

And I mean, I'll just say here,

like, it seems like most of us in

:

00:49:16,008 --> 00:49:19,248

our lives, like we follow church

teaching, we agree with like the true

:

00:49:19,248 --> 00:49:20,718

teachings of the Catholic church.

:

00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:24,348

So it's very unlikely that you'll see

something that is not church teaching,

:

00:49:24,678 --> 00:49:32,478

but at the same time, it's unhealthy

for us to view other Catholics online.

:

00:49:32,658 --> 00:49:32,748

Mm-hmm.

:

00:49:32,988 --> 00:49:34,938

As like the Pope, you know what I mean?

:

00:49:34,938 --> 00:49:36,948

Or as like, we're human.

:

00:49:36,948 --> 00:49:40,188

We literally don't even listen

to verbatim what the Pope says

:

00:49:40,188 --> 00:49:41,478

unless he says to ex cathedral.

:

00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:42,878

so like, why would we do that?

:

00:49:43,228 --> 00:49:43,998

That to other people?

:

00:49:44,258 --> 00:49:47,863

And so I think that there, that's

a struggle too because, um, it,

:

00:49:47,863 --> 00:49:51,553

it does take a another level of

responsibility on our end Yeah.

:

00:49:51,733 --> 00:49:54,011

To know that what we are sharing.

:

00:49:54,011 --> 00:49:57,236

Has weight to it and will

impact how people see the faith,

:

00:49:57,236 --> 00:49:58,586

how it should be practiced.

:

00:49:58,646 --> 00:50:01,136

And there's a lot of beauty to that, but

there's also a lot of weight to that.

:

00:50:01,136 --> 00:50:04,136

And so I think what I would love

from audience as well is to just

:

00:50:04,136 --> 00:50:07,616

have that discernment of like, if

something doesn't sit right with

:

00:50:07,616 --> 00:50:09,986

me, can I take that to the Lord?

:

00:50:10,036 --> 00:50:12,556

Read the catechism, do some of the

research on my own, on like what the

:

00:50:12,556 --> 00:50:16,576

church teaches and come to my own

conclusions instead of just blindly

:

00:50:16,576 --> 00:50:20,236

following someone else who might be

living a beautiful Catholic life.

:

00:50:20,326 --> 00:50:20,716

Yeah.

:

00:50:20,806 --> 00:50:23,776

But also having autonomy in

your own faith life to take

:

00:50:23,776 --> 00:50:25,756

responsibility for your own actions.

:

00:50:25,756 --> 00:50:25,936

Yes.

:

00:50:25,966 --> 00:50:29,686

That's making me think even

a challenge for followers in

:

00:50:29,686 --> 00:50:32,176

our community is for them.

:

00:50:32,521 --> 00:50:34,561

Their comments carry weight too.

:

00:50:34,741 --> 00:50:38,131

And other people are looking at comments

that they're writing underneath.

:

00:50:38,131 --> 00:50:43,421

So yes, true for them to remember,

their role is evangelizer too.

:

00:50:43,421 --> 00:50:44,321

All of our roles.

:

00:50:44,321 --> 00:50:48,491

So their comments carry weight, like

Yeah, there's people looking in maybe

:

00:50:48,491 --> 00:50:52,361

discerning the faith who are seeing

infighting within the church and

:

00:50:52,361 --> 00:50:58,781

it's, yes, there is room for debate

and, and reason, however, everyone's

:

00:50:59,021 --> 00:51:01,031

comments carry weight, not just ours.

:

00:51:01,031 --> 00:51:02,351

Yeah, it's, it's theirs too.

:

00:51:03,011 --> 00:51:04,241

And I always imagine like.

:

00:51:04,796 --> 00:51:07,406

Maybe this is just me being overly

idealistic and romantic, but I'm

:

00:51:07,406 --> 00:51:13,556

like, in my head, like my Instagram

page is like my, my virtual home.

:

00:51:13,611 --> 00:51:16,066

. And like, that should be a safe place.

:

00:51:16,306 --> 00:51:20,266

And if you had an issue with me in

my home, I would love if you, like,

:

00:51:20,266 --> 00:51:23,386

I would expect you, and I would

expect myself to do the same, to pull

:

00:51:23,386 --> 00:51:25,816

you aside and to do that privately.

:

00:51:26,116 --> 00:51:29,716

. And if you were harassing someone in

my home or, or attacking you in your

:

00:51:29,721 --> 00:51:32,866

home, or attacking you in my home, you

would be asked to leave immediately.

:

00:51:32,916 --> 00:51:35,856

And I'm like, I think the same

general house rules and like

:

00:51:35,916 --> 00:51:37,506

decency rules should apply.

:

00:51:37,596 --> 00:51:41,886

Like they don't just poof out of

thin air because it's now virtual.

:

00:51:41,886 --> 00:51:43,001

And on a keyboard, I don't know.

:

00:51:43,501 --> 00:51:47,311

I think another difficulty

and a challenge has been when

:

00:51:47,311 --> 00:51:53,021

people do say negative things,

it's easy to, like curl up.

:

00:51:53,346 --> 00:52:00,126

But honestly, it's, it's toughened me up

a lot and same, and, and it's helped me,

:

00:52:00,186 --> 00:52:06,196

um, grow stronger in, in the confidence of

what I'm doing in, hopefully evangelizing.

:

00:52:06,196 --> 00:52:08,326

However, it still stinks.

:

00:52:08,326 --> 00:52:08,986

It hurts.

:

00:52:08,986 --> 00:52:09,046

Yeah.

:

00:52:09,136 --> 00:52:12,496

It does hurt there's words I

didn't even know existed that

:

00:52:12,496 --> 00:52:14,116

I've been called, you know?

:

00:52:14,166 --> 00:52:19,896

So it's, it's been, um, challenging

in those ways, but also there's

:

00:52:19,926 --> 00:52:21,546

a beauty to a strengthening.

:

00:52:21,546 --> 00:52:24,336

Well, that was kind of interesting

with the friend group that I

:

00:52:24,336 --> 00:52:26,436

have locally, um, in Alabama.

:

00:52:26,436 --> 00:52:29,736

That's the closest like local friend

group I've had probably in my life.

:

00:52:29,786 --> 00:52:33,626

A lot of them will comment on like how

you just really don't care what other

:

00:52:33,626 --> 00:52:35,486

people like, you're just very convicted.

:

00:52:35,756 --> 00:52:41,096

And I, I honestly credit the last

like, four years of social media.

:

00:52:41,096 --> 00:52:42,146

I don't wanna say harassment.

:

00:52:42,146 --> 00:52:43,226

'cause that sounds extreme though.

:

00:52:43,226 --> 00:52:44,521

No, it extreme though.

:

00:52:44,681 --> 00:52:45,521

I think they, yeah.

:

00:52:45,521 --> 00:52:45,986

It's you.

:

00:52:45,986 --> 00:52:49,500

Out of all of us, I feel like has

received really actual harassment.

:

00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:49,890

Yes.

:

00:52:49,890 --> 00:52:51,000

The most.

:

00:52:51,330 --> 00:52:54,210

Aggressive and negative and

aggressive and somewhat violent.

:

00:52:54,210 --> 00:52:54,780

Scary.

:

00:52:54,990 --> 00:52:55,890

Very violent.

:

00:52:55,890 --> 00:52:55,980

Yeah.

:

00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:56,520

Yes.

:

00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:56,850

Hate.

:

00:52:57,150 --> 00:53:01,140

And I like, as crap as that

stuff is to receive or as like,

:

00:53:01,140 --> 00:53:04,260

disheartening or like, it honestly

just kind of gives you whiplash.

:

00:53:04,260 --> 00:53:06,450

'cause you're like, wait, I did

not think it was possible for

:

00:53:06,450 --> 00:53:08,670

someone to be that horrible.

:

00:53:08,670 --> 00:53:09,780

Well, they don't even know you.

:

00:53:09,810 --> 00:53:10,110

Right.

:

00:53:10,170 --> 00:53:13,920

I'm just like, if you like meet someone

that you're like, wow, I really disagree

:

00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:18,630

with their lifestyle in person, you

likely aren't going to like, yell their

:

00:53:18,630 --> 00:53:20,370

ear off about how horrible they are.

:

00:53:20,370 --> 00:53:21,210

Certain and all this way.

:

00:53:21,210 --> 00:53:22,680

And you're just gonna be like, huh.

:

00:53:22,860 --> 00:53:24,210

Probably not gonna be

friends with that person.

:

00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:24,600

Yeah.

:

00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:25,680

And move on with your life.

:

00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:29,405

But like, people really feel the need to

tell you why they hate you all the time.

:

00:53:29,405 --> 00:53:29,460

All the time.

:

00:53:30,210 --> 00:53:33,810

Which I'm like, I, I don't even

understand why, but it's fine.

:

00:53:33,900 --> 00:53:35,070

I'm biased because I'm your friend.

:

00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:36,090

Yeah.

:

00:53:36,105 --> 00:53:37,680

You, you like what I'm saying?

:

00:53:37,830 --> 00:53:39,030

So you don't have a problem with it.

:

00:53:39,030 --> 00:53:39,270

Yeah.

:

00:53:39,270 --> 00:53:39,570

What?

:

00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:43,620

Um, but that did, like, it created.

:

00:53:44,185 --> 00:53:47,820

Like, okay, is what they're

saying true most of the time, no.

:

00:53:47,900 --> 00:53:50,990

So then it like, okay, yeah, I,

what I'm convicted even more.

:

00:53:50,990 --> 00:53:52,250

It convicts me more.

:

00:53:52,460 --> 00:53:55,670

And then it also just builds up a

confidence in myself where it's like.

:

00:53:56,195 --> 00:54:00,005

I'm not doing this for the validation

of others because actually 50 50%

:

00:54:00,005 --> 00:54:03,725

of the time for me, it's like not

validated by the general public.

:

00:54:03,805 --> 00:54:08,155

Anyways, and that's very freeing and

that probably wouldn't happen if people

:

00:54:08,155 --> 00:54:11,095

were just like, we love you so much 24 7.

:

00:54:11,095 --> 00:54:13,885

You know, it's just all punch end

points to more that like this is

:

00:54:13,885 --> 00:54:16,015

something that you feel called to do.

:

00:54:16,075 --> 00:54:16,795

Yes, totally.

:

00:54:16,795 --> 00:54:19,735

Not based on purely

the response of others.

:

00:54:19,975 --> 00:54:20,095

Right.

:

00:54:20,125 --> 00:54:21,145

Like very true.

:

00:54:21,145 --> 00:54:24,835

Keep, it feels great to be affirmed

and to be told like what you're

:

00:54:24,835 --> 00:54:26,425

doing is so good and encouraging.

:

00:54:26,430 --> 00:54:26,520

Mm-hmm.

:

00:54:26,700 --> 00:54:27,200

That's beautiful.

:

00:54:27,210 --> 00:54:29,995

But you're not doing it for that reason.

:

00:54:30,465 --> 00:54:30,675

Mm-hmm.

:

00:54:30,675 --> 00:54:33,765

You're doing it because it's, but

that means same for any of y'all.

:

00:54:33,825 --> 00:54:34,430

It just mm-hmm.

:

00:54:34,755 --> 00:54:36,705

Is not as aggressive most of the time.

:

00:54:36,705 --> 00:54:37,185

Yeah.

:

00:54:37,425 --> 00:54:37,935

Which is good.

:

00:54:38,355 --> 00:54:38,535

Yeah.

:

00:54:38,550 --> 00:54:39,405

I love that for you guys.

:

00:54:40,140 --> 00:54:40,845

I'll take it, I'll take it.

:

00:54:41,385 --> 00:54:43,575

And I think this is

something that I've just.

:

00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:47,640

Noticed and wanna just share too,

and I've shared this with my like

:

00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:48,810

friends in real life as well.

:

00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:52,980

I, I've been in situations in girl

groups where people like follow similar

:

00:54:52,980 --> 00:54:57,350

people, like influencers and so

they'll tend to like gossip or talk

:

00:54:57,350 --> 00:54:59,600

about, or talk badly about the people.

:

00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,370

That they're following together

and it's like, did you see

:

00:55:01,370 --> 00:55:02,240

this and did you see this?

:

00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:03,800

And like, oh my gosh, I

hate when she does this.

:

00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,370

And there's been times where I've actually

like, felt like the need to stop the

:

00:55:07,370 --> 00:55:09,530

group and be like, you guys like, yeah.

:

00:55:09,545 --> 00:55:13,955

I would say like there's probably a

girl group right now somewhere in the

:

00:55:13,955 --> 00:55:16,690

country talking crap about me, right?

:

00:55:16,690 --> 00:55:16,890

Yes.

:

00:55:16,925 --> 00:55:18,785

And you know me and you're my friend.

:

00:55:18,785 --> 00:55:18,875

Yes.

:

00:55:18,875 --> 00:55:22,985

And you know my heart and you know how

genuine I am and how I want to serve.

:

00:55:22,985 --> 00:55:24,065

And that Sure.

:

00:55:24,065 --> 00:55:26,305

That might not be the place

everybody's coming from.

:

00:55:26,305 --> 00:55:29,995

Like, you know me and if you heard

girls talking like that about me Yeah.

:

00:55:29,995 --> 00:55:32,845

You'd be so mad and you'd be so hurt

and you'd be like, you don't know her.

:

00:55:32,845 --> 00:55:34,195

Like, why would you say that about her?

:

00:55:34,315 --> 00:55:34,405

Yeah.

:

00:55:34,465 --> 00:55:34,795

I'm like.

:

00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,960

You don't know these women online.

:

00:55:37,990 --> 00:55:38,080

Mm-hmm.

:

00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:42,970

You don't know the full story, their full

heart, and if there's something that they

:

00:55:42,970 --> 00:55:46,330

do that you don't like, like why does

that give us the right to like totally

:

00:55:46,330 --> 00:55:48,340

break them down and criticize them?

:

00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:48,490

Mm-hmm.

:

00:55:48,730 --> 00:55:50,290

Like when you don't know these people?

:

00:55:50,590 --> 00:55:51,520

And so, and so, yeah.

:

00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:54,610

I, I would just say like, just, just

to remember that like the people on

:

00:55:54,610 --> 00:55:57,340

the other side of the camera, whether

it's us or anybody else you follow

:

00:55:57,340 --> 00:55:59,740

on Instagram or on social media.

:

00:56:00,565 --> 00:56:03,535

They and I sound like Hannah Montana.

:

00:56:03,535 --> 00:56:03,685

Right.

:

00:56:03,685 --> 00:56:05,065

But like, they are just like you.

:

00:56:05,785 --> 00:56:06,535

Isn't that a song?

:

00:56:06,535 --> 00:56:06,895

I think so.

:

00:56:07,585 --> 00:56:08,695

You're just just like, we Me.

:

00:56:08,905 --> 00:56:10,555

No, that's a, that's song

a that's a Barbie song.

:

00:56:10,555 --> 00:56:12,085

No, there's a Hannah Montana song.

:

00:56:12,325 --> 00:56:16,045

I'm just like, you you guys

don't watch Hannah Montana?

:

00:56:16,165 --> 00:56:17,875

No, I did, but I don't remember the song.

:

00:56:17,935 --> 00:56:19,135

Oh, we're gonna play it later.

:

00:56:19,135 --> 00:56:19,615

We're gonna play it.

:

00:56:19,615 --> 00:56:23,035

But we're held accountable

for whether we know the person

:

00:56:23,035 --> 00:56:24,565

or not with gossip, you know?

:

00:56:24,570 --> 00:56:28,680

Cece and I always say on our podcast that

there's diff, there's like three different

:

00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,655

friends either talk about people mm-hmm.

:

00:56:30,900 --> 00:56:32,190

Things or ideas.

:

00:56:32,195 --> 00:56:32,415

Wow.

:

00:56:32,550 --> 00:56:35,400

And you want the friends that

talk about ideas and that like,

:

00:56:35,670 --> 00:56:37,440

conceptualize things and dream with you.

:

00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:38,640

And that's what all of you ladies do.

:

00:56:39,325 --> 00:56:42,145

I don't want, I'm not looking for

the friends that talk about people.

:

00:56:42,295 --> 00:56:42,415

Mm-hmm.

:

00:56:42,421 --> 00:56:44,515

Like I just, I, I did that in college.

:

00:56:44,515 --> 00:56:45,445

It's not life giving.

:

00:56:45,655 --> 00:56:45,715

Yeah.

:

00:56:45,715 --> 00:56:47,485

It actually feels really nasty afterwards.

:

00:56:47,485 --> 00:56:47,845

It does.

:

00:56:47,935 --> 00:56:49,285

And it's just not.

:

00:56:49,290 --> 00:56:49,620

Mm-hmm.

:

00:56:49,705 --> 00:56:50,035

Yeah.

:

00:56:50,305 --> 00:56:54,535

Our priest, even side note a little

bit, said that he thinks gossip

:

00:56:54,535 --> 00:56:56,545

is like the feminine version.

:

00:56:56,875 --> 00:56:57,835

Oh, wakes in wise.

:

00:56:57,835 --> 00:56:57,836

Mm-hmm.

:

00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,425

To like pornography.

:

00:56:59,425 --> 00:57:01,105

I remember hearing that on your podcast.

:

00:57:01,165 --> 00:57:01,225

Wow.

:

00:57:01,225 --> 00:57:05,095

Because it literally just like strips

away the dignity of another person.

:

00:57:05,095 --> 00:57:05,425

Mm-hmm.

:

00:57:05,425 --> 00:57:05,785

Wow.

:

00:57:05,845 --> 00:57:08,180

It's very, like when you, that's

a great like that, it's like

:

00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:10,315

holy crap, it's addictive.

:

00:57:10,345 --> 00:57:10,765

Yeah.

:

00:57:10,765 --> 00:57:12,565

But girls will be like, I

mean, that's just girl talk.

:

00:57:12,565 --> 00:57:13,345

Like that's just what we do.

:

00:57:13,345 --> 00:57:15,265

We just talk about, or it'll

be like, oh, it's just venting.

:

00:57:15,295 --> 00:57:15,475

Yeah.

:

00:57:15,475 --> 00:57:16,195

It's just venting.

:

00:57:16,195 --> 00:57:16,735

It's fine.

:

00:57:16,825 --> 00:57:18,625

Or when you don't know the

person, it's another thing.

:

00:57:18,625 --> 00:57:19,495

It's yes.

:

00:57:19,495 --> 00:57:21,745

If you don't know the person, it's

another thing because you dunno them.

:

00:57:21,805 --> 00:57:21,895

Mm-hmm.

:

00:57:21,955 --> 00:57:26,515

Um, or somehow that because they're

sharing their life publicly, you now

:

00:57:26,515 --> 00:57:28,256

have the free range to gossip about them.

:

00:57:28,261 --> 00:57:28,580

Mm-hmm.

:

00:57:28,705 --> 00:57:31,285

Because they're like, well, they decided

to share that, so now I can talk about it.

:

00:57:31,285 --> 00:57:35,155

I think it's also something that's

really important to talk about, because.

:

00:57:35,460 --> 00:57:38,850

Like I said, I didn't grow

up with any examples of like

:

00:57:38,850 --> 00:57:40,410

how to live a Catholic life.

:

00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:40,650

Mm-hmm.

:

00:57:40,980 --> 00:57:45,365

So the idea that gossip was

bad, like, didn't I remember you

:

00:57:45,365 --> 00:57:46,440

saying this didn't occur to me.

:

00:57:46,710 --> 00:57:46,800

Mm-hmm.

:

00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:47,130

Yeah.

:

00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:50,310

Um, and that was such a culture,

like with certain family

:

00:57:50,310 --> 00:57:51,690

members, with certain friends.

:

00:57:51,810 --> 00:57:51,960

Mm-hmm.

:

00:57:52,230 --> 00:57:57,210

That's what you bond over is like talking

about what's going on with other people.

:

00:57:57,310 --> 00:58:01,600

And it didn't really, like I could

have named, I couldn't have named at

:

00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:04,930

the time, but I, it felt negative.

:

00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:08,050

Like it didn't feel positive,

but I also didn't register.

:

00:58:08,050 --> 00:58:09,970

Like this is something I should avoid.

:

00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:10,060

Yeah.

:

00:58:10,110 --> 00:58:15,450

Until literally I went to church not that

long ago, like I was maybe in grad school.

:

00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:15,690

Yeah.

:

00:58:15,690 --> 00:58:17,100

So:

:

00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:17,260

Yeah.

:

00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:17,890

Um.

:

00:58:18,460 --> 00:58:22,780

And the whole talk that night for the

young adult group was on gossiping versus

:

00:58:22,780 --> 00:58:25,720

venting, and how do you share frustrations

:

00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:27,970

. In a way that's healthy but not simple.

:

00:58:28,300 --> 00:58:32,740

Um, and I, and that was the, you were

like, wait what you're like, and I feel

:

00:58:32,740 --> 00:58:34,270

like that's been everything in my life.

:

00:58:34,270 --> 00:58:36,280

Like everything that's led

me closer to God is like.

:

00:58:37,075 --> 00:58:39,835

My eyes were so shield.

:

00:58:39,835 --> 00:58:40,405

Blinded.

:

00:58:40,405 --> 00:58:41,095

Blinded.

:

00:58:41,095 --> 00:58:45,025

And my heart was so hardened that

I, maybe somebody said something,

:

00:58:45,025 --> 00:58:46,765

but I was just not open to it.

:

00:58:46,795 --> 00:58:47,100

Yeah, yeah.

:

00:58:47,105 --> 00:58:51,085

And then as soon as like I was soft

enough and receptive enough to hear

:

00:58:51,175 --> 00:58:54,660

the truth, and I'm like, you're like,

okay, someone could have told sooner.

:

00:58:54,745 --> 00:58:55,165

I know.

:

00:58:55,255 --> 00:58:58,855

I'm like, and I had, that night, I

had spent the entire car ride, an hour

:

00:58:58,855 --> 00:59:01,780

driving to the church, gossiping to my

friend on the way there you were super.

:

00:59:01,855 --> 00:59:04,915

And then I sat there for an hour and

I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

:

00:59:04,915 --> 00:59:07,375

And she was like, yeah, I didn't

really like the conversation, but

:

00:59:07,375 --> 00:59:08,545

like I didn't know what to say.

:

00:59:08,905 --> 00:59:09,355

Wow.

:

00:59:09,355 --> 00:59:09,655

And I was like.

:

00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,780

You could've told me to stop.

:

00:59:12,830 --> 00:59:12,890

Yeah.

:

00:59:12,890 --> 00:59:13,245

Um, but that's, but it's hard.

:

00:59:13,245 --> 00:59:15,205

That's also hard to do in persons.

:

00:59:15,205 --> 00:59:18,500

Like, it is hard to be the one to

stop in the group and be like, Hey,

:

00:59:18,500 --> 00:59:19,820

we need to switch the conversation.

:

00:59:19,850 --> 00:59:20,240

Yeah.

:

00:59:20,450 --> 00:59:21,410

But it's so good.

:

00:59:21,410 --> 00:59:22,820

Anyway, that's like a tangent.

:

00:59:22,820 --> 00:59:24,410

But yeah, it was important.

:

00:59:24,410 --> 00:59:25,280

It's, it's nice.

:

00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,440

And I think you had, didn't you

have a viral reel about gossip?

:

00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:27,605

You did.

:

00:59:27,885 --> 00:59:28,085

I did.

:

00:59:28,430 --> 00:59:28,940

Yeah.

:

00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:33,380

People got very offended because people

were pro gossip in your comments.

:

00:59:33,380 --> 00:59:33,560

Yeah.

:

00:59:33,605 --> 00:59:34,070

Yes, yes.

:

00:59:34,070 --> 00:59:35,660

Which I was shocked.

:

00:59:35,675 --> 00:59:35,965

Yeah.

:

00:59:36,170 --> 00:59:36,260

Yeah.

:

00:59:36,290 --> 00:59:39,860

Because I just thought even in the world,

even not from a faith standpoint of gossip

:

00:59:39,860 --> 00:59:42,830

being a sin moral, I, I thought morally.

:

00:59:42,830 --> 00:59:43,040

Yeah.

:

00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:45,470

Like, you know, like gossip is hurtful.

:

00:59:45,590 --> 00:59:45,740

Mm-hmm.

:

00:59:45,980 --> 00:59:46,310

Right.

:

00:59:46,370 --> 00:59:49,280

But I think that's such a gift too,

of like what we're all trying to

:

00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:52,010

do with social media, that you're

trying to share these messages

:

00:59:52,010 --> 00:59:53,480

that bring people closer to God.

:

00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:53,900

Yes.

:

00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:56,840

And if nobody shares the

messages, nobody knows.

:

00:59:56,870 --> 00:59:58,220

Like, I wouldn't have know.

:

00:59:58,225 --> 00:59:58,605

Literally did not know.

:

00:59:58,700 --> 00:59:59,210

Literally.

:

00:59:59,210 --> 00:59:59,420

Yeah.

:

00:59:59,570 --> 01:00:01,040

Like, I wasn't like, I don't care.

:

01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:01,880

I'm just gonna sin.

:

01:00:01,940 --> 01:00:02,030

Mm-hmm.

:

01:00:02,300 --> 01:00:02,720

Yeah.

:

01:00:02,810 --> 01:00:06,320

As soon as I heard truth, I

was like, okay, I'm convicted.

:

01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:06,530

Mm-hmm.

:

01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:08,005

And so I change, yeah.

:

01:00:08,910 --> 01:00:09,240

Okay.

:

01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:12,420

I think one thing people would be

genuinely interested to learn more

:

01:00:12,420 --> 01:00:15,360

about is a little bit more about

the behind the scenes of our work.

:

01:00:15,700 --> 01:00:17,620

They see what's on their

side of the screen.

:

01:00:17,770 --> 01:00:17,830

Yeah.

:

01:00:17,830 --> 01:00:18,700

But what happens?

:

01:00:19,315 --> 01:00:21,955

All the way leading up to

that getting posted, like what

:

01:00:21,955 --> 01:00:23,215

does our day to day look like?

:

01:00:23,215 --> 01:00:24,895

What does our work process look like?

:

01:00:24,895 --> 01:00:26,530

What does it look like on the back end?

:

01:00:26,530 --> 01:00:28,915

How do you do social media

to con create content?

:

01:00:28,915 --> 01:00:29,170

Yeah, yeah.

:

01:00:29,725 --> 01:00:30,175

True.

:

01:00:30,595 --> 01:00:34,345

I mean, I think everyone uses it

for a little bit different purposes.

:

01:00:34,345 --> 01:00:34,435

Mm-hmm.

:

01:00:34,675 --> 01:00:40,555

In some ways, um, like a lot of mine leans

more heavily photography like even when

:

01:00:40,555 --> 01:00:43,825

I've reached out to brands saying like,

Hey we really resonate with your products.

:

01:00:43,825 --> 01:00:45,205

Like we'd love to work with you.

:

01:00:46,165 --> 01:00:46,765

Sometimes.

:

01:00:46,765 --> 01:00:46,885

They'll.

:

01:00:46,885 --> 01:00:49,315

Be like, your, your feed's

great, but like, actually we

:

01:00:49,315 --> 01:00:50,155

wanna use your photography.

:

01:00:50,155 --> 01:00:51,115

And I'm like, okay, cool.

:

01:00:51,385 --> 01:00:55,255

And so a lot of times what will happen is

I was actually having this conversation

:

01:00:55,255 --> 01:00:56,815

with a local girlfriend the other day.

:

01:00:56,845 --> 01:00:59,095

'cause she was like, I love what you

do, but I don't understand what you do.

:

01:00:59,400 --> 01:00:59,920

Like, what does that mean?

:

01:00:59,950 --> 01:01:00,865

What does it mean?

:

01:01:00,895 --> 01:01:01,135

Yeah.

:

01:01:01,135 --> 01:01:02,065

To like do what you do?

:

01:01:02,485 --> 01:01:05,275

And so I was trying to like break it

down for her and I was like, well,

:

01:01:05,455 --> 01:01:07,255

businesses will send me products.

:

01:01:07,765 --> 01:01:09,145

That they want photographed.

:

01:01:09,195 --> 01:01:12,855

I photograph, I deliver the

deliverables and I edit and everything.

:

01:01:13,095 --> 01:01:14,325

And it's a lot of fun.

:

01:01:14,355 --> 01:01:17,955

It's, it's been a good transition

for me to go from travel wedding

:

01:01:17,955 --> 01:01:22,545

photographer to still doing

photography, but at home on a month.

:

01:01:22,965 --> 01:01:24,675

Long, flexible schedule.

:

01:01:24,675 --> 01:01:24,855

Mm-hmm.

:

01:01:25,095 --> 01:01:28,095

Instead of a specific

weekend away from the kids.

:

01:01:28,195 --> 01:01:28,705

. And hours.

:

01:01:28,705 --> 01:01:31,405

And hours and hours behind the

screen editing:

:

01:01:31,435 --> 01:01:33,535

And for you as a mom of three Yes.

:

01:01:34,025 --> 01:01:35,765

Do you do that when they're napping?

:

01:01:35,765 --> 01:01:38,815

Do do that when Avery's home

how do you manage your schedule?

:

01:01:38,815 --> 01:01:39,505

That's a good question.

:

01:01:39,715 --> 01:01:41,990

So originally I was like, oh

yeah, you can do it all right.

:

01:01:41,990 --> 01:01:43,015

Because that's what everyone tells you.

:

01:01:43,045 --> 01:01:43,915

No, you can't.

:

01:01:44,065 --> 01:01:45,145

You like, something will give.

:

01:01:45,535 --> 01:01:47,695

Now that I sleep through the middle

of the night, I'll wake up at five

:

01:01:47,695 --> 01:01:52,915

30 and I'll do, you know, prayer my

supplements, and then I start working and

:

01:01:52,915 --> 01:01:54,835

then I'll make breakfast and all that.

:

01:01:55,405 --> 01:01:58,195

I also will typically work

during nap time for a little bit.

:

01:01:58,195 --> 01:01:59,335

Carrie gets quiet time.

:

01:01:59,335 --> 01:02:01,885

The two babies still nap, so

I'll get roughly an hour if

:

01:02:01,885 --> 01:02:03,595

everybody naps, well sometimes two.

:

01:02:04,045 --> 01:02:09,355

And then evenings I get into good seasons

where I don't work in the evenings

:

01:02:09,355 --> 01:02:10,765

unless it's like a podcast recording.

:

01:02:10,820 --> 01:02:11,040

But.

:

01:02:11,690 --> 01:02:14,900

Lately I've been working in the evenings

and I don't like that because I think

:

01:02:14,900 --> 01:02:18,710

most people have a nine to five and

when they come home, they're home.

:

01:02:18,740 --> 01:02:19,100

Yeah.

:

01:02:19,100 --> 01:02:21,470

And I think that's probably a

hard thing about like our work.

:

01:02:21,500 --> 01:02:23,740

It's always available to

us we're always at home.

:

01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:26,650

It's always available to

us and we're always on it.

:

01:02:27,070 --> 01:02:29,080

We could, no, we're always dreaming.

:

01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:31,365

We're always like, oh, if I could get

that done, then I can get to this and if

:

01:02:31,390 --> 01:02:35,080

I can, but it does take the intentional

like effort to shift your mind from like,

:

01:02:35,140 --> 01:02:38,845

okay, I'm gonna be working at home to, I'm

going to be resting at home, or I'm going

:

01:02:38,850 --> 01:02:43,330

to be totally doing housework or hosting

or just like turning off the work mind.

:

01:02:43,390 --> 01:02:47,560

Like when my husband comes home from work,

I want to also be from home, from work.

:

01:02:47,590 --> 01:02:47,860

Right.

:

01:02:47,860 --> 01:02:48,280

Yeah.

:

01:02:48,340 --> 01:02:50,200

And so then I hired a sitter.

:

01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:53,050

It's harder when your husband also

works at home, works for home, and you

:

01:02:53,050 --> 01:02:54,910

have to force each other to leave work.

:

01:02:54,910 --> 01:02:55,000

Yes.

:

01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:56,350

At home.

:

01:02:56,350 --> 01:02:56,470

Sure.

:

01:02:56,470 --> 01:02:57,125

You know what I mean?

:

01:02:57,185 --> 01:02:57,490

I'm sure.

:

01:02:58,180 --> 01:03:02,110

Um, but then I just hired a sitter

and I have set hours during the week.

:

01:03:02,210 --> 01:03:04,910

It's two hours at a time,

almost every other day.

:

01:03:04,910 --> 01:03:06,470

So I have six hours a week typically.

:

01:03:06,470 --> 01:03:08,000

Sometimes a little more or less.

:

01:03:08,030 --> 01:03:10,850

I could probably do more, but I'm

at a point right now where I don't

:

01:03:10,850 --> 01:03:12,110

wanna leave them anymore than I do.

:

01:03:12,145 --> 01:03:15,140

. And so I'm like, this is, this is

where I'm at and it's comfortable.

:

01:03:15,530 --> 01:03:16,910

Um, and that's how I do it.

:

01:03:16,910 --> 01:03:20,275

That's when you do the photography,

like planning reels edit the photos.

:

01:03:20,305 --> 01:03:20,545

Yeah.

:

01:03:20,635 --> 01:03:21,505

Shoot the content.

:

01:03:21,505 --> 01:03:22,795

Sometimes if Avery's home.

:

01:03:23,035 --> 01:03:25,075

that's when I reply to all

the email collaborations.

:

01:03:25,075 --> 01:03:25,915

That's when I edit.

:

01:03:25,945 --> 01:03:27,685

That's a lot to fit into the podcast.

:

01:03:27,685 --> 01:03:28,285

Graphics.

:

01:03:28,285 --> 01:03:29,575

Six hours, respond to dms.

:

01:03:29,575 --> 01:03:29,785

No.

:

01:03:29,815 --> 01:03:31,195

Literally respond to dms.

:

01:03:31,195 --> 01:03:32,875

Plan out content, make sure.

:

01:03:32,875 --> 01:03:37,795

And, and even still, there's like,

sometimes I will include like life

:

01:03:37,795 --> 01:03:41,665

stuff in those like schedule of

grocery pickup or like a kids run a

:

01:03:41,665 --> 01:03:43,435

load of laundry, a kids thing or Yeah.

:

01:03:43,435 --> 01:03:43,915

Or whatever.

:

01:03:43,915 --> 01:03:46,871

I know I could definitely use more,

but it's that balance between like.

:

01:03:46,876 --> 01:03:49,966

I do this work so that I can be

flexible and free for my family.

:

01:03:49,971 --> 01:03:50,221

Mm-hmm.

:

01:03:50,416 --> 01:03:53,416

So at what point do I do

I have to say no more.

:

01:03:53,421 --> 01:03:53,541

Right?

:

01:03:53,546 --> 01:03:53,776

Right.

:

01:03:53,776 --> 01:03:57,256

So that I can still maintain like

the peace and the freedom for

:

01:03:57,256 --> 01:03:58,966

my family and serve your family.

:

01:03:59,026 --> 01:03:59,266

Right?

:

01:03:59,266 --> 01:04:00,556

Like that's the whole point.

:

01:04:00,556 --> 01:04:01,216

I'm doing this.

:

01:04:01,216 --> 01:04:01,456

Yeah.

:

01:04:01,461 --> 01:04:04,756

And so it's hard when the sky's

kind of the limit for any of us.

:

01:04:04,756 --> 01:04:06,496

Like love it.

:

01:04:06,496 --> 01:04:07,541

That's entrepreneurship and we love it.

:

01:04:07,541 --> 01:04:08,101

That's the hardship.

:

01:04:08,661 --> 01:04:08,903

Entrepreneurship love it.

:

01:04:09,076 --> 01:04:11,506

But also we're wives, we're moms.

:

01:04:11,506 --> 01:04:12,226

Like it's hard.

:

01:04:12,226 --> 01:04:15,286

We just, the point of why we

do what we do is to get to

:

01:04:15,286 --> 01:04:16,666

live life a little more freely.

:

01:04:16,746 --> 01:04:20,346

. And sometimes we reverse that to our own

detriment because it's like, why not?

:

01:04:20,346 --> 01:04:24,396

So something that's helped me

a lot is that I have a Google

:

01:04:24,396 --> 01:04:28,686

doc and my best weeks are when I

plan out the whole, the content.

:

01:04:28,776 --> 01:04:29,076

Yes.

:

01:04:29,166 --> 01:04:32,046

And then I know exactly

the shots I wanna get.

:

01:04:32,046 --> 01:04:32,346

Yes.

:

01:04:32,416 --> 01:04:35,236

but that's helped me

a lot is planning and.

:

01:04:35,686 --> 01:04:36,856

It is, it's hard.

:

01:04:36,916 --> 01:04:42,736

Especially I homeschool and motherhood

too, but, so when do you do that stuff?

:

01:04:42,736 --> 01:04:43,661

When do you work on that?

:

01:04:43,961 --> 01:04:45,191

I don't have a set schedule.

:

01:04:45,191 --> 01:04:48,281

And it's been interesting 'cause

seasons are always changing.

:

01:04:48,281 --> 01:04:51,161

And I think that's where

I, I need to grow is like.

:

01:04:52,061 --> 01:04:53,891

Schedule this time.

:

01:04:54,161 --> 01:04:56,141

Almost like block schedule the time.

:

01:04:56,431 --> 01:04:59,911

It's hard when seasons are

always changing in motherhood, in

:

01:04:59,911 --> 01:05:02,221

marriage, but I can do my part too.

:

01:05:02,221 --> 01:05:02,716

But yeah.

:

01:05:03,001 --> 01:05:05,761

Um, I, film filming doesn't take long.

:

01:05:05,761 --> 01:05:07,076

It's the editing for me.

:

01:05:07,076 --> 01:05:07,556

It's editing.

:

01:05:07,561 --> 01:05:09,601

I love editing.

:

01:05:09,631 --> 01:05:13,216

So that takes a while, but, to

be able to close the phone and

:

01:05:13,216 --> 01:05:14,476

set it aside too is a gift.

:

01:05:14,501 --> 01:05:14,701

Yeah.

:

01:05:14,866 --> 01:05:15,556

Yes.

:

01:05:15,556 --> 01:05:16,821

Like, just be be still.

:

01:05:17,611 --> 01:05:18,461

Just be still.

:

01:05:18,671 --> 01:05:20,921

And like finding that balance I

feel like just comes with time.

:

01:05:20,921 --> 01:05:21,881

But what's that look like for y'all?

:

01:05:22,076 --> 01:05:22,226

Yeah.

:

01:05:22,226 --> 01:05:24,596

Mari, like full-time content creator.

:

01:05:24,596 --> 01:05:25,436

What does it look like for you?

:

01:05:25,451 --> 01:05:25,916

Yeah, yeah.

:

01:05:25,916 --> 01:05:26,606

Full time.

:

01:05:26,696 --> 01:05:31,646

Um, I would say like, I don't keep

track of the hours that I work,

:

01:05:31,646 --> 01:05:36,356

but I think I do fluctuate between

like full-time and, and part-time.

:

01:05:36,356 --> 01:05:40,616

And it just depends on the week that I'm

on and what like things are happening.

:

01:05:40,616 --> 01:05:44,036

And so I'm very grateful for the

work that we have because it allows

:

01:05:44,036 --> 01:05:49,046

us a lot of flexibility to do other

things besides work during the day.

:

01:05:49,256 --> 01:05:51,386

Like I was telling the girls I went

to go get a pedicure in the middle

:

01:05:51,386 --> 01:05:54,446

of the week, or if I want to grab

coffee with a friend, you Yes.

:

01:05:54,446 --> 01:05:56,666

At:

:

01:05:56,696 --> 01:05:56,966

Yeah.

:

01:05:57,016 --> 01:05:57,766

But.

:

01:05:58,276 --> 01:06:02,236

We do have like a lot of work

because we have West Coast Catholic,

:

01:06:02,296 --> 01:06:03,406

which is a whole business to run.

:

01:06:03,406 --> 01:06:07,816

We have a team to manage as well

as my side, the Ma Wagner brand.

:

01:06:07,846 --> 01:06:12,586

And my personal blog also has

its own responsibilities and work

:

01:06:12,766 --> 01:06:14,536

allocated to that side as well.

:

01:06:15,346 --> 01:06:19,606

And so the challenge for us is

as entrepreneurs, I mean like you

:

01:06:19,606 --> 01:06:23,476

can work 24 7 or you, like, you

have control over what you do.

:

01:06:23,476 --> 01:06:25,216

And so you didn't Awesome and horrible.

:

01:06:25,366 --> 01:06:25,696

Yeah.

:

01:06:25,696 --> 01:06:27,316

Which is, which is awesome and horrible.

:

01:06:27,316 --> 01:06:30,016

And I think right now in the season

that we're in, not being parents yet.

:

01:06:30,046 --> 01:06:30,196

Yeah.

:

01:06:30,226 --> 01:06:33,076

It's really easy to just

fall back on work often.

:

01:06:33,076 --> 01:06:36,393

'cause we're like, well we have the

flexibility and the freedom and the

:

01:06:36,393 --> 01:06:38,823

desire, so like why not add it on?

:

01:06:39,333 --> 01:06:42,993

Um, but for us, for me, a

typical workday, you know, will

:

01:06:42,993 --> 01:06:44,463

look like Mondays and Fridays.

:

01:06:44,463 --> 01:06:50,223

We have team meetings at 8:30 AM and Trey

and I will usually be in both of those.

:

01:06:50,223 --> 01:06:51,603

Monday is like a.

:

01:06:52,143 --> 01:06:54,753

Kind of like a week long check-in,

you know, like looking at the

:

01:06:54,753 --> 01:06:56,463

week, what are big priorities?

:

01:06:56,463 --> 01:06:57,183

Where are we at?

:

01:06:57,183 --> 01:06:59,163

Big announcements that are

coming up, some strategy.

:

01:06:59,703 --> 01:07:03,123

Um, Friday we do spiritual

formations, which I lead, which is

:

01:07:03,123 --> 01:07:04,953

basically discipleship for the team.

:

01:07:05,493 --> 01:07:09,853

And then, Trey now has moved into a

role where he's taking care more of West

:

01:07:09,853 --> 01:07:11,563

Coast Catholic and managing the team.

:

01:07:11,773 --> 01:07:16,770

And that's allowed me freedom to embark

on my own ideas for my own brand.

:

01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:19,835

I won't give you the whole hour by

hour, but I like to take time for

:

01:07:19,835 --> 01:07:24,035

myself in the morning to get ready

to eat a good breakfast and to pray.

:

01:07:24,315 --> 01:07:27,255

It just kind of depends on the week,

whether we like break it up and we have

:

01:07:27,255 --> 01:07:29,985

to like, like we just did all these home

projects and so a lot of that was like,

:

01:07:29,985 --> 01:07:32,895

okay, we're gonna work till three and then

we have a meeting at the countertops place

:

01:07:32,895 --> 01:07:36,404

at three, and then when they're looking at

countertops from three to four, and then

:

01:07:36,404 --> 01:07:39,404

we gotta go to the paint store to pick

the swatch and then we go home, oh, but

:

01:07:39,404 --> 01:07:43,035

I didn't get to post today, so I'm gonna

like take another hour to get my post

:

01:07:43,035 --> 01:07:45,135

ready and put up my stories and whatnot.

:

01:07:45,555 --> 01:07:49,635

So it does look like pretty flexible

throughout the day, but I would say.

:

01:07:50,355 --> 01:07:52,845

I do lean a little bit more like

your traditional full-time schedule

:

01:07:52,895 --> 01:07:53,195

yeah.

:

01:07:53,295 --> 01:07:53,654

What about you?

:

01:07:53,654 --> 01:07:55,904

What does it look like for you from home?

:

01:07:55,904 --> 01:08:01,035

Because your, your just unique in

the sense of like, it's not just

:

01:08:01,215 --> 01:08:02,654

it's client, it, it's client.

:

01:08:02,654 --> 01:08:06,375

It's a bit more scheduled and a bit

more traditional than any of ours.

:

01:08:06,375 --> 01:08:08,985

It's hard, it's hard for me to navigate.

:

01:08:09,285 --> 01:08:13,665

It's been like an interesting journey, but

I think in the beginning it was more like.

:

01:08:14,250 --> 01:08:19,140

Whenever I have inspiration and I had

more inspirations because I had more time.

:

01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:23,500

Um, especially before having

kids, like my schedule looked

:

01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:25,930

like clients throughout the day.

:

01:08:25,930 --> 01:08:26,020

Right.

:

01:08:26,050 --> 01:08:29,680

I was very flexible with my

client schedule before kids.

:

01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:33,010

I, my client hours were

:

:

01:08:33,040 --> 01:08:34,359

Just whenever people wanted.

:

01:08:34,479 --> 01:08:37,029

After having kids, I couldn't

live like that anymore.

:

01:08:37,090 --> 01:08:37,180

Mm-hmm.

:

01:08:37,870 --> 01:08:40,600

Um, I see about 19 clients a week.

:

01:08:40,890 --> 01:08:44,370

And so those hours are very

structured and intentional.

:

01:08:44,425 --> 01:08:48,835

I see clients either when aj, my

husband is home, um, with the kids or

:

01:08:48,835 --> 01:08:52,285

when my mom is over helping with the

kids, which is Tuesday and Wednesday.

:

01:08:52,734 --> 01:08:55,015

And so I have those 19 hours,

they're always the same.

:

01:08:55,015 --> 01:08:56,245

Those are my only client hours.

:

01:08:56,245 --> 01:08:56,934

Mm-hmm.

:

01:08:57,250 --> 01:09:01,175

What I don't have work blocked

off for is social media.

:

01:09:01,175 --> 01:09:05,555

And yet social media is like

the way that my business runs.

:

01:09:05,625 --> 01:09:06,645

So that's hard.

:

01:09:06,645 --> 01:09:12,495

And, and I constantly am just talking to

myself and like processing and discerning.

:

01:09:13,005 --> 01:09:14,415

I want to do so much.

:

01:09:14,415 --> 01:09:17,984

I have so many dreams and so many

ideas, and my brain never stops.

:

01:09:18,165 --> 01:09:21,434

But my whole goal, like you were

saying, Meg, is to be home with my kids.

:

01:09:21,734 --> 01:09:26,234

So it doesn't make sense for me to

like, hire more, help to go for,

:

01:09:26,234 --> 01:09:28,005

to then go sit at my computer.

:

01:09:28,005 --> 01:09:28,095

Yes.

:

01:09:28,245 --> 01:09:31,335

When like, the whole reason I'm doing

any of it is to be with 'em, right?

:

01:09:31,335 --> 01:09:36,224

Um, so most of the time I'm working,

doing anything social media wise.

:

01:09:36,604 --> 01:09:41,283

E either in the one hour I have

when the kids are napping in mm-hmm.

:

01:09:41,524 --> 01:09:45,214

On like downtime, um, which is

at two to 3:00 PM every day.

:

01:09:45,363 --> 01:09:45,844

So the same.

:

01:09:45,844 --> 01:09:47,344

They're very consistent,

which I'm grateful for.

:

01:09:47,764 --> 01:09:49,533

And Oh, I thought you were saying

that to put that out there.

:

01:09:49,533 --> 01:09:50,974

So eventually they were consistent.

:

01:09:51,033 --> 01:09:56,224

That's Oh no, they are actually, when he

naps two to 3:00 PM or at least chilling,

:

01:09:56,224 --> 01:09:58,174

and I have an hour during that time.

:

01:09:58,384 --> 01:09:58,443

Yeah.

:

01:09:58,443 --> 01:09:58,804

That's amazing.

:

01:09:58,894 --> 01:10:04,114

Um, and then in the evenings,

which is, it is Okay.

:

01:10:04,114 --> 01:10:06,636

I would say it's not like my

ideal schedule, but it works.

:

01:10:06,641 --> 01:10:09,394

But sometimes it's what works it,

it's what works in the season.

:

01:10:09,454 --> 01:10:09,544

Mm-hmm.

:

01:10:10,054 --> 01:10:11,974

So usually like the kids go to bed.

:

01:10:12,664 --> 01:10:17,104

Uh, by eight 30 and then I'll be

to:

:

01:10:17,104 --> 01:10:17,464

That's a problem.

:

01:10:19,024 --> 01:10:20,279

She needs to go to bed earlier.

:

01:10:20,439 --> 01:10:21,304

I think that's a challenge.

:

01:10:21,304 --> 01:10:22,954

I'm like, I have a lot

of nights like that too.

:

01:10:23,224 --> 01:10:25,759

No, launch week catches till, yeah.

:

01:10:25,959 --> 01:10:26,039

Midnight.

:

01:10:26,044 --> 01:10:26,614

Yeah.

:

01:10:26,614 --> 01:10:30,514

Midnight 1:00 AM and like ideally

I would say that would be like a

:

01:10:30,574 --> 01:10:34,354

beautiful time to be like just me

and my husband hanging out, but he's

:

01:10:34,354 --> 01:10:37,894

watching games, so he'll watch a game

and I'll sit and like work next to him.

:

01:10:37,924 --> 01:10:38,193

Yeah.

:

01:10:38,224 --> 01:10:38,794

Um.

:

01:10:39,304 --> 01:10:41,074

And we have time to catch

up and everything, and we'll

:

01:10:41,074 --> 01:10:42,034

have dinner together mm-hmm.

:

01:10:42,274 --> 01:10:43,504

And spend time together on the weekends.

:

01:10:43,504 --> 01:10:44,644

I don't work on the weekends.

:

01:10:44,744 --> 01:10:50,294

But it's hard that I don't have like

specific set aside time for that because

:

01:10:50,474 --> 01:10:54,764

I'm constantly thinking throughout the

day, like, I wanna share something Yeah.

:

01:10:54,764 --> 01:10:58,784

So that I can engage with people and

continue the conversation and support

:

01:10:58,784 --> 01:11:02,874

people and, let people know that I have

client openings and things like that.

:

01:11:02,874 --> 01:11:02,934

Yeah.

:

01:11:03,294 --> 01:11:05,379

Um, it's, it's hard with mother.

:

01:11:05,379 --> 01:11:05,619

It's hard.

:

01:11:05,904 --> 01:11:10,014

There is that constant,

like, I have to be a mother.

:

01:11:10,014 --> 01:11:11,334

That's my first role.

:

01:11:11,394 --> 01:11:11,604

Yep.

:

01:11:11,604 --> 01:11:14,844

And so that's where, for me, it's

like pop, that will always come

:

01:11:14,844 --> 01:11:19,434

first, because I'm doing this for them

too, you know, like this is growing.

:

01:11:19,434 --> 01:11:20,304

So just.

:

01:11:20,619 --> 01:11:22,029

We do it when we can too.

:

01:11:22,089 --> 01:11:22,209

Yeah.

:

01:11:22,209 --> 01:11:24,849

There's days where we're

just like, and filming stuff.

:

01:11:24,849 --> 01:11:27,879

I would say more often

I'll film on the weekends.

:

01:11:27,909 --> 01:11:28,209

Yes.

:

01:11:28,209 --> 01:11:31,329

Because then I have time and I'll

fill, I'll prepare stuff that

:

01:11:31,329 --> 01:11:32,499

I wanna post during the week.

:

01:11:32,504 --> 01:11:32,854

Mm-hmm.

:

01:11:32,954 --> 01:11:36,999

Um, because then I have time to get

myself ready to think about what do I

:

01:11:36,999 --> 01:11:41,799

want to share AJ's home with the kids

so I can step away and film something,

:

01:11:41,799 --> 01:11:43,479

or he can help me film something.

:

01:11:43,959 --> 01:11:46,568

So that's like practically

usually when that happens.

:

01:11:47,318 --> 01:11:52,419

Well, it's hard too because when you like

look at it outwardly, you're like, oh, I'm

:

01:11:52,419 --> 01:11:54,099

doing exactly what I wanted to be doing.

:

01:11:54,159 --> 01:11:54,549

Mm-hmm.

:

01:11:54,699 --> 01:12:01,749

But it's how is it even possible

to just be like, this is it like

:

01:12:01,749 --> 01:12:04,809

this is, I like, that's not, that

doesn't work without the new goal.

:

01:12:04,809 --> 01:12:07,299

You mean without the new goal,

without the like next thing.

:

01:12:07,299 --> 01:12:07,568

Yeah.

:

01:12:07,568 --> 01:12:11,769

And I'm like, I'm not a part of me

wants to for sure learn to rest in

:

01:12:11,769 --> 01:12:14,739

it a little bit more or just be a

little more gra grateful for it.

:

01:12:15,009 --> 01:12:16,149

But I'm also like.

:

01:12:16,869 --> 01:12:17,649

You just have ideas.

:

01:12:17,649 --> 01:12:19,299

This can't just be it, you know?

:

01:12:19,539 --> 01:12:19,599

Yeah.

:

01:12:19,599 --> 01:12:20,799

I think it'll grow.

:

01:12:20,799 --> 01:12:24,099

It just is like all of us

naturally have ideas constantly.

:

01:12:24,114 --> 01:12:24,335

Yes, yes.

:

01:12:25,659 --> 01:12:27,189

And we have to contain ourselves.

:

01:12:27,189 --> 01:12:27,429

No, we do.

:

01:12:27,429 --> 01:12:27,699

Right.

:

01:12:27,699 --> 01:12:30,219

Like you were saying, I mean,

we're creators, you guys, that's

:

01:12:30,219 --> 01:12:31,929

just, it is like, we are creators.

:

01:12:31,959 --> 01:12:33,039

Mine's like, I see, no problem.

:

01:12:33,699 --> 01:12:33,789

Yeah.

:

01:12:33,789 --> 01:12:35,109

I, I'm like, what's the problem?

:

01:12:35,109 --> 01:12:36,489

That's, that's amazing.

:

01:12:36,789 --> 01:12:40,239

And I just feel like that is

just like a gift in us, right.

:

01:12:40,239 --> 01:12:40,929

That like really.

:

01:12:41,484 --> 01:12:43,044

Mirrors our creator.

:

01:12:43,044 --> 01:12:47,964

Like God gave us that gift to see

beauty, to wanna create it, to

:

01:12:47,964 --> 01:12:49,614

wanna like bring it to others.

:

01:12:49,674 --> 01:12:53,179

JP two said, we are most godlike when

we create, whether that's a garden,

:

01:12:53,209 --> 01:12:54,899

whether that's a new life, you know?

:

01:12:55,199 --> 01:12:55,419

Yes.

:

01:12:55,419 --> 01:12:58,259

That we are most like, so

it a hundred percent to see

:

01:12:58,259 --> 01:13:00,354

it as a gift and praise God.

:

01:13:00,354 --> 01:13:03,294

We have these ideas, you

know, to always go, go, go.

:

01:13:03,294 --> 01:13:06,564

But yeah, to find the ba, the

healthy balance to be with the

:

01:13:06,564 --> 01:13:08,394

people our, that are in front of us.

:

01:13:08,474 --> 01:13:08,475

Yeah.

:

01:13:08,594 --> 01:13:09,854

And I think about that too.

:

01:13:09,914 --> 01:13:15,884

Like, this baby's born in June and my kids

are little, but I plan on homeschooling.

:

01:13:15,884 --> 01:13:16,229

And so yeah.

:

01:13:16,234 --> 01:13:17,234

It's like, what is that thinking about?

:

01:13:17,234 --> 01:13:18,494

Like, I don't wanna stop.

:

01:13:18,494 --> 01:13:21,914

I love what I'm doing both

with clients and online.

:

01:13:22,014 --> 01:13:25,254

And it's just gonna have to

shift and change over time.

:

01:13:25,254 --> 01:13:28,494

And I'm constantly discerning

what does that look like?

:

01:13:28,494 --> 01:13:33,204

Where is my time best used

work-wise, so that it can all

:

01:13:33,204 --> 01:13:34,045

be for the good of my family.

:

01:13:34,099 --> 01:13:34,519

Mm-hmm.

:

01:13:34,704 --> 01:13:36,504

The beauty is that we're not stuck either.

:

01:13:36,654 --> 01:13:39,354

Like we're in a bit more of

control than I think the normal

:

01:13:39,354 --> 01:13:41,424

person is when it comes to work.

:

01:13:41,544 --> 01:13:41,874

Yeah.

:

01:13:42,174 --> 01:13:45,654

But I mean, the other thing too

with that is it's all on you.

:

01:13:45,659 --> 01:13:46,644

Right, right.

:

01:13:46,644 --> 01:13:47,004

Makes sense.

:

01:13:47,039 --> 01:13:47,279

Yeah.

:

01:13:47,284 --> 01:13:47,844

Yeah.

:

01:13:47,844 --> 01:13:48,564

A little bit.

:

01:13:48,594 --> 01:13:48,834

Yeah.

:

01:13:48,894 --> 01:13:52,914

Um, but it is nice to know like, okay,

well we could ebb and flow if we need to.

:

01:13:52,914 --> 01:13:54,474

Like we could be flexible, we can.

:

01:13:54,879 --> 01:13:57,849

And I think that's what was really

attractive to me at the very

:

01:13:57,849 --> 01:14:01,354

beginning of all of this . Was just

that, that freedom and control of

:

01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:03,004

my own time and our family's time.

:

01:14:03,009 --> 01:14:03,259

Yeah.

:

01:14:03,484 --> 01:14:04,984

And the peace that comes with that.

:

01:14:05,044 --> 01:14:09,274

As we wrap up, I just wanna touch

on one last thing, and I think

:

01:14:09,274 --> 01:14:14,284

it's this term influencer that

has developed over the years.

:

01:14:14,339 --> 01:14:14,839

I'm thinking back.

:

01:14:14,839 --> 01:14:17,954

I'm like, this should have been question

one, there's a lot of, emotions

:

01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:20,024

attached to this word influencer.

:

01:14:20,054 --> 01:14:20,294

Yeah.

:

01:14:20,324 --> 01:14:22,814

How do you guys feel about this term?

:

01:14:23,004 --> 01:14:25,604

Being one and what your

experience has been around it.

:

01:14:26,044 --> 01:14:26,254

Yeah.

:

01:14:26,254 --> 01:14:30,934

I was sharing earlier that I

wrestle with the term same both

:

01:14:30,934 --> 01:14:32,404

influencer and content creator.

:

01:14:32,644 --> 01:14:37,354

And I would say like, if I stop and

think about it, I would say, yes I am.

:

01:14:37,354 --> 01:14:38,794

And do both of those things.

:

01:14:38,824 --> 01:14:38,884

Yeah.

:

01:14:39,254 --> 01:14:43,724

Because even my, thinking back

to my original goals, like my

:

01:14:43,724 --> 01:14:49,854

original goals when I first made my

account public was to be a witness.

:

01:14:49,884 --> 01:14:50,034

Yeah.

:

01:14:50,034 --> 01:14:52,764

To a faithful holy life.

:

01:14:52,864 --> 01:14:54,884

In a way that's, accessible to everyone.

:

01:14:54,964 --> 01:14:57,844

And that is having influence.

:

01:14:57,844 --> 01:14:57,846

Having influence.

:

01:14:57,904 --> 01:14:58,144

Yeah.

:

01:14:58,204 --> 01:15:02,314

Um, I feel like that term

wasn't yet like really a thing.

:

01:15:02,314 --> 01:15:07,624

But that, that is what that I, my goal was

that to have influence in a positive way.

:

01:15:07,684 --> 01:15:07,774

Right.

:

01:15:07,774 --> 01:15:12,124

To show people that you can live this way

and it's good and, and you can do it too.

:

01:15:12,154 --> 01:15:13,954

Because I wanted that example myself.

:

01:15:13,954 --> 01:15:16,354

I wanted to be influenced

in a positive way.

:

01:15:16,774 --> 01:15:21,934

Um, so I think the term has just gotten

like, really bad rap over the years.

:

01:15:21,934 --> 01:15:21,994

Yeah.

:

01:15:22,024 --> 01:15:24,424

And so I, I feel hesitation with it.

:

01:15:24,424 --> 01:15:28,634

I wrestle with it, but I would, still,

like, if I stopped to think about it, say.

:

01:15:29,024 --> 01:15:29,504

Yes.

:

01:15:29,504 --> 01:15:33,674

And I, I want that, I want to have

a positive influence on people.

:

01:15:33,704 --> 01:15:34,034

Yeah.

:

01:15:34,114 --> 01:15:38,764

Not to make them feel like they need to

do something different other than like,

:

01:15:38,764 --> 01:15:40,984

be exactly who God, God calls them to be.

:

01:15:41,044 --> 01:15:41,434

Yeah.

:

01:15:41,434 --> 01:15:41,794

Right.

:

01:15:41,794 --> 01:15:46,054

But to have positive, positive influence,

which I think is important that everyone

:

01:15:46,054 --> 01:15:51,364

knows, like everyone has influence,

it just looks different the way that

:

01:15:51,364 --> 01:15:54,034

we're sharing it, sharing things online.

:

01:15:54,114 --> 01:15:57,954

Might look different than the way that

another person is influencing another.

:

01:15:58,004 --> 01:16:01,304

But we all have influence and

I think it's important to think

:

01:16:01,304 --> 01:16:05,214

about like, how do we influence

others and what are we influencing?

:

01:16:05,214 --> 01:16:10,344

And yeah, I'm reading a book on leadership

right now and he makes the point that.

:

01:16:11,304 --> 01:16:12,594

You are, you're a leader.

:

01:16:12,624 --> 01:16:16,854

You know, like, and the influence you

have that how far you can go as a leader

:

01:16:16,854 --> 01:16:18,354

is the influence you have on people.

:

01:16:18,354 --> 01:16:20,364

But that doesn't equate popularity.

:

01:16:20,634 --> 01:16:24,844

So he makes the point where you could have

a lot of followers, but that's popularity.

:

01:16:24,844 --> 01:16:25,504

True

:

01:16:25,594 --> 01:16:28,114

leadership is your influence on people.

:

01:16:28,119 --> 01:16:28,299

Wow.

:

01:16:28,519 --> 01:16:29,734

And to make it good.

:

01:16:29,739 --> 01:16:34,149

We all have that to some capacity,

but to be leaders, to have that

:

01:16:34,389 --> 01:16:36,999

leadership mindset for the good.

:

01:16:37,119 --> 01:16:37,329

Yeah.

:

01:16:37,329 --> 01:16:38,529

And we all can do that.

:

01:16:38,619 --> 01:16:40,179

And anyone listening can do that.

:

01:16:40,184 --> 01:16:44,864

Just because someone has a lot of numbers,

you know that that's not true leadership.

:

01:16:44,864 --> 01:16:44,954

Right.

:

01:16:45,014 --> 01:16:49,239

True Leadership is the virtue

that in integrity, the Yeah.

:

01:16:49,693 --> 01:16:49,904

Yeah.

:

01:16:49,904 --> 01:16:50,774

Leading to people.

:

01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:52,904

No, I think about some of

my favorite people and the

:

01:16:52,904 --> 01:16:54,014

influence they have on my life.

:

01:16:54,029 --> 01:16:54,318

Yeah.

:

01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:58,304

And that has literally nothing to do

with any social media following them.

:

01:16:58,724 --> 01:17:02,474

I think another reason why the term

influencer gets to bad rap is because

:

01:17:03,144 --> 01:17:08,409

like worldly influencer, you're very

typical influencer can look very

:

01:17:08,409 --> 01:17:12,085

inward focused and so sometimes

I'll use the term content creator

:

01:17:12,085 --> 01:17:15,155

more than influencer because I think

other people might have negative

:

01:17:15,155 --> 01:17:17,315

connotations with the word influencer.

:

01:17:17,535 --> 01:17:20,295

and content creator I feel like

resonates with me a lot because

:

01:17:20,295 --> 01:17:21,225

yeah, that's what I'm doing.

:

01:17:21,225 --> 01:17:22,335

Like that's exactly what I'm doing.

:

01:17:22,365 --> 01:17:23,745

I'm creating content.

:

01:17:23,745 --> 01:17:24,975

I'm a creator.

:

01:17:25,245 --> 01:17:30,269

I'm like bringing beauty and creating

things digitally to serve my audience.

:

01:17:30,269 --> 01:17:35,639

But at the same time, I genuinely

don't think there should be an

:

01:17:35,639 --> 01:17:37,224

immediate negative connotation.

:

01:17:37,384 --> 01:17:38,134

No, literally.

:

01:17:38,134 --> 01:17:40,234

And what would happen if

we, if we just embraced it?

:

01:17:40,324 --> 01:17:40,684

Right.

:

01:17:40,684 --> 01:17:41,104

You know what I mean?

:

01:17:41,164 --> 01:17:44,644

Well, and as with everything,

especially as a Christian and as a

:

01:17:44,644 --> 01:17:48,064

Catholic, we have to be good stewards

of the gifts that we're given.

:

01:17:48,094 --> 01:17:48,664

Yes.

:

01:17:48,664 --> 01:17:48,665

Yes.

:

01:17:48,724 --> 01:17:49,773

And so if we're.

:

01:17:50,074 --> 01:17:53,974

If we have influence over people, what

does it look like to be a good steward of

:

01:17:53,974 --> 01:17:56,193

the fact that we do have influence Yes.

:

01:17:56,523 --> 01:17:57,154

In people's lives.

:

01:17:57,199 --> 01:17:59,764

And you can't hide it under the

basket and push it away either.

:

01:17:59,974 --> 01:18:00,454

You know what I mean?

:

01:18:00,454 --> 01:18:00,934

Like Yeah.

:

01:18:00,994 --> 01:18:02,254

That's a gift God gave you.

:

01:18:02,254 --> 01:18:05,464

He's going to be a little

ticked off if you're like, no.

:

01:18:05,494 --> 01:18:06,724

Kind of uncomfortable with without one.

:

01:18:06,773 --> 01:18:09,509

Have you guys heard of the

Clifton Strengths test?

:

01:18:09,509 --> 01:18:10,049

No.

:

01:18:10,049 --> 01:18:10,769

What is this?

:

01:18:10,769 --> 01:18:12,929

Like the Gallup Strength test?

:

01:18:12,934 --> 01:18:13,023

Gallup.

:

01:18:13,023 --> 01:18:13,184

Okay.

:

01:18:13,284 --> 01:18:13,704

Gallup.

:

01:18:13,704 --> 01:18:13,705

Yeah.

:

01:18:13,943 --> 01:18:14,384

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

:

01:18:14,639 --> 01:18:17,579

I think it used to be called Clifton

Strengths, and now they're called Gallup.

:

01:18:17,579 --> 01:18:19,169

But they have a whole strengths test.

:

01:18:19,169 --> 01:18:20,879

It is the best test that I've ever taken.

:

01:18:20,939 --> 01:18:22,079

I think it's very accurate.

:

01:18:22,079 --> 01:18:22,829

I love those.

:

01:18:22,829 --> 01:18:22,979

Yeah.

:

01:18:23,459 --> 01:18:24,449

Very, very good.

:

01:18:24,449 --> 01:18:25,379

And it's about strengths.

:

01:18:25,379 --> 01:18:26,369

It's not like personality.

:

01:18:26,369 --> 01:18:28,679

It's like truly like

what are your strengths?

:

01:18:28,684 --> 01:18:32,219

That, and there's, I

think 50 of 'em or so.

:

01:18:32,429 --> 01:18:37,229

And then after they tell you

what your top ones are, they have

:

01:18:37,229 --> 01:18:39,059

categories that they all fall into.

:

01:18:39,329 --> 01:18:39,359

Okay.

:

01:18:39,419 --> 01:18:41,999

One of those categories

is influencing Stop.

:

01:18:41,999 --> 01:18:42,839

Were you at the top of that?

:

01:18:43,019 --> 01:18:47,279

I think the four out of my five

top were all under influencing.

:

01:18:47,309 --> 01:18:47,369

Wow.

:

01:18:47,459 --> 01:18:48,054

That's so hard.

:

01:18:48,089 --> 01:18:50,189

And I read that and I was like, wow, duh.

:

01:18:50,818 --> 01:18:53,879

Like I'm in the role God created me to be.

:

01:18:53,879 --> 01:18:56,729

And that's not something to be ashamed of.

:

01:18:56,759 --> 01:18:57,179

Right.

:

01:18:57,179 --> 01:19:00,539

That's not something to be like, wow,

this is like something I need to hide.

:

01:19:00,568 --> 01:19:00,659

Mm-hmm.

:

01:19:00,898 --> 01:19:02,099

But like, God gave me those strengths.

:

01:19:02,099 --> 01:19:06,749

And I remember as a kid, like one of the

things I had to grow in was being bossy.

:

01:19:06,799 --> 01:19:10,609

And so, and my mom had to teach me

like, Hey, like this gift of leadership

:

01:19:10,609 --> 01:19:15,318

has to be harnessed in in a way for

good and not, not to be bossy, not to

:

01:19:15,318 --> 01:19:17,299

tell others what to do, but to like.

:

01:19:17,644 --> 01:19:19,624

Bring influence in a good way.

:

01:19:19,684 --> 01:19:19,773

Yeah.

:

01:19:19,773 --> 01:19:22,714

And to help honestly, like, which

I feel like I love doing now.

:

01:19:22,714 --> 01:19:24,934

Like bring the best out of others.

:

01:19:25,023 --> 01:19:28,849

The other thing I just thought of

too, was that when we get too worried

:

01:19:28,849 --> 01:19:32,179

about like what people are gonna

associate with influencer or like

:

01:19:32,299 --> 01:19:35,779

what they might think when we tell

them what we do for work or whatever.

:

01:19:36,109 --> 01:19:38,329

That in and of itself is not charity.

:

01:19:38,329 --> 01:19:41,299

That's vanity because you are

literally focusing inward on what

:

01:19:41,299 --> 01:19:44,384

other people are gonna say or think

or assume, or percieve about like you.

:

01:19:44,404 --> 01:19:44,824

Mm-hmm.

:

01:19:44,898 --> 01:19:46,039

And what it is that you do.

:

01:19:46,459 --> 01:19:49,189

And when my spiritual director said

that, I was like, are you kidding?

:

01:19:50,134 --> 01:19:53,419

Because I literally felt like it was

vanity to say, Hey, I'm an influencer.

:

01:19:53,419 --> 01:19:54,799

He was like, no, you are

spending so much more time.

:

01:19:54,799 --> 01:19:56,269

That is what time being vain.

:

01:19:56,299 --> 01:19:56,659

Yeah.

:

01:19:56,719 --> 01:19:58,609

Worried about what people are

going to think about you if you

:

01:19:58,609 --> 01:19:59,824

say that you are an influencer.

:

01:20:00,259 --> 01:20:04,309

I was like, and, and I think

our confidence and how we care

:

01:20:04,309 --> 01:20:07,489

ourselves and how we share about

what we do goes a long way.

:

01:20:07,489 --> 01:20:10,804

And if you share it timidly or awkwardly.

:

01:20:10,804 --> 01:20:14,864

Or nervously, there's going to be

a message that is like hiddenly

:

01:20:15,154 --> 01:20:18,394

portrayed of like, I am ashamed of

what I do, or I, this is, I know this

:

01:20:18,394 --> 01:20:19,744

is uncomfortable, or this is weird.

:

01:20:19,744 --> 01:20:20,734

Or like, yeah.

:

01:20:20,739 --> 01:20:21,034

You know?

:

01:20:21,064 --> 01:20:23,914

But if you just like genuinely share

with joy and confidence of like,

:

01:20:23,914 --> 01:20:25,174

yeah, this is what I get to do.

:

01:20:25,414 --> 01:20:26,914

I love the influencing life.

:

01:20:29,414 --> 01:20:29,594

It's fun.

:

01:20:30,164 --> 01:20:31,244

And it's beautiful.

:

01:20:31,244 --> 01:20:31,814

Yes.

:

01:20:32,474 --> 01:20:35,594

And it's, it is a place that

we can all grow in virtue.

:

01:20:35,654 --> 01:20:36,459

All of us always.

:

01:20:36,599 --> 01:20:36,898

For sure.

:

01:20:37,184 --> 01:20:37,784

Always.

:

01:20:37,784 --> 01:20:40,484

And even this conversation

is so helpful to me because I

:

01:20:40,484 --> 01:20:42,284

know, I like to think back to.

:

01:20:42,704 --> 01:20:44,534

What was the whole intention.

:

01:20:44,594 --> 01:20:44,684

Mm-hmm.

:

01:20:45,164 --> 01:20:45,254

Yes.

:

01:20:45,374 --> 01:20:49,874

And it's, it's so easy for me to lose it

in like day-to-day life, the busyness of

:

01:20:49,874 --> 01:20:52,693

work and kids and get something posted.

:

01:20:52,693 --> 01:20:54,374

Like it's easy for me to lose that.

:

01:20:54,374 --> 01:20:58,874

So, um, it's so helpful to think back

of like, what is the purpose of this

:

01:20:59,084 --> 01:21:02,864

role and this part of my work and

how can I be a good steward of that?

:

01:21:02,954 --> 01:21:04,124

Yeah, absolutely.

:

01:21:04,574 --> 01:21:04,934

Yeah.

:

01:21:05,023 --> 01:21:08,594

Well, thanks ladies for sharing

your heart and just like being here

:

01:21:08,594 --> 01:21:10,484

and being open about what you do.

:

01:21:10,564 --> 01:21:11,254

Thanks for having us.

:

01:21:11,334 --> 01:21:12,864

We'll have to make this

a yearly thing, right?

:

01:21:12,954 --> 01:21:13,523

Yeah.

:

01:21:13,523 --> 01:21:13,704

Yeah.

:

01:21:14,759 --> 01:21:15,239

Girls trip.

:

01:21:15,239 --> 01:21:18,564

Girls trip next will be

live on a beach, so You too.

:

01:21:18,564 --> 01:21:18,624

Yeah.

:

01:21:18,654 --> 01:21:22,584

I am dying to take everybody to Mexico,

but that's also just, that's just me.

:

01:21:22,584 --> 01:21:24,959

That's what I do, so bye.

:

01:21:25,379 --> 01:21:25,999

Bye bye.

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About the Podcast

Ever Be
A faith and lifestyle podcast.
The Ever Be Podcast is a faith and lifestyle podcast filled with meaningful conversations and practical tips that will inspire and empower you to live a Christ centered life in today’s modern world. Through her own experience of surrendering completely to God and finding true fullness of life, your host Mari Wagner, has committed to having God’s praise “ever be” on her lips and sharing that message with the world. Listen in for insightful, real life conversations and actionable steps on how to claim the full life God created you for.

With over 100K followers and counting, Instagram content creator and founder of the popular Catholic lifestyle brand, West Coast Catholic, Mari Wagner is showing the world how to live a bold, attractive, and fulfilling Catholic life by being in the world but not of it. On the podcast you’ll get a combination of heartfelt solo episodes with Mari, interviews with exciting guests, and up-close and personal time with both the Wagner’s—Mari and Trey. What more could you ask for?!

Finally! Answers to questions you’ve been asking like:
How do I infuse prayer into my daily life? How do I live out my Catholic faith? What is the best dating and marriage advice? What does a good Catholic marriage look like? How do I grow in homemaking skills and build a domestic church? How do I create a beautiful and welcoming home? What does a healthy and balanced lifestyle look like? Is it possible to find a solid community of like minded women?

Host Mari Wagner covers topics that you actually care about from faith life, to relationships and marriage, to homemaking, to healthy living. Each episode is crafted to resonate with your challenges and aspirations as a modern Christian woman seeking purpose, balance, and joy.

Tune into the Ever Be Podcast for valuable advice, relatable stories, expert insights and just some fun girl chats with someone who really gets you. Hit play to get out of the rut you constantly feel yourself in, and subscribe to join the community and experience the fullness of life Jesus has in store for you.

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Mari Wagner