85: Planning a Wedding | Avery from Cana Wedding Co
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Join host Mari on as she delves into the world of wedding planning with guest Avery from Cana Wedding Co. They discuss the unique aspects of planning a Catholic wedding, balancing faith and celebration, and practical advice for brides-to-be. Avery shares her personal journey, tips on managing family expectations, and the importance of focusing on the sacrament of marriage. Tune in for insightful conversations, Ever Be moments, and valuable wedding planning tips for a stress-free and faith-centered big day.
00:00 Welcome to The Ever Be Podcast
01:23 Ever Be Moments
05:44 Diving into Wedding Planning
09:36 Balancing Wedding Planning and Faith
17:20 Engagement Realities: Managing Stress and Expectations
21:56 Early Wedding Planning Tips
26:36 Setting Wedding Priorities
29:35 Common Planning Mistakes
35:24 Navigating Family Opinions
40:57 Importance of a Well-Built Timeline
45:56 The Value of a Wedding Planner
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Follow Along:
Transcript
Hey, I am your host, Mari Wagner,
and you're listening to The Ever Be
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:Podcast where Faith Meets Lifestyle.
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:I'm so excited you're here.
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:Whether you're a new listener
or a longtime follower, I know
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:there's something here for you.
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:Pull up a chair and listen in for
insightful, real life conversations and
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:actionable steps on how to claim the.
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:Full life God created you for.
9
:If you're a woman desiring to live
a Christ-centered life in today's
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:modern world, then this is for you.
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:Welcome to ever be.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
Welcome back to Ever Be Everybody.
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:Today we have Avery on the podcast
and we're gonna get into all things
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:wedding planning, specifically
planning a Catholic wedding.
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:'cause I know a lot of you gals, um,
really are excited about bringing the
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:faith into your big day in some way.
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:And so we're gonna get
into all the things.
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:Um, Avery, you can , go ahead
and say hi to our listeners.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: am Avery.
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:I'm the owner and lead
planner at Cana Wedding Co.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Amazing.
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:Which by the way, if you don't follow
her on Instagram, she has a gorgeous
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:feed and it's just everything she posts
is so aesthetic and so beautiful to see.
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:So definitely a follow
that you should go do.
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:Um, but let's get into our ever be
moments first before we dive into
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:the discussion of wedding planning.
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:And everything so ever Be Moments is
a segment where we get to glorify God.
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:It comes from this song called
Ever Be Where it says, may the
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:Lord's Praise Ever be on my lips.
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:And so this is a time for us to just
share how God's working in our life.
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:So do you have an ever be moment lately
in your life that you wanna share?
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: would love to.
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:I guess it was like two weeks ago now.
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:We, um, we were getting a big
snowstorm here on the East coast.
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:There's still ice outside from it.
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:Um, but we ended up
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: to
a Saturday night vigil mass,
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:um, that we don't typically do.
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:We have two little kids, my husband
and I, and so the evening slot is not.
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:Typically our best time slot, but
we were supposed to be getting like
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:a foot of snow between, you know,
Saturday night and Sunday morning.
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:Um, and so we ended up going to a
different church than we typically go to.
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:Um, we were a little
flustered getting in the door.
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:We're in the newborn days with
my daughter, so, um, we're,
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: we're in it.
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:It's great.
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:But, you know, we pulled up and
realized she like needed a diaper
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:change and she had to eat that
instant and, you know, the joys.
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:Um, but we got in the
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: and.
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:I thought it was so funny.
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:I was like very flustered getting
in, like I was just saying.
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:But we got in the door and I felt such a
like, peace and a joy and it was so funny.
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:I'm like, you know, waiting in line
for the, for the restroom stall to like
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:change her diaper and all these things.
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:Um, and I realized that the last
time I'd been at that church was
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:actually for a client's wedding.
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:Um, and I was like seven weeks
pregnant with our daughter.
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:Um, and at the time I was
having a really rough pregnancy.
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:I had like.
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:A lot of health issues going on.
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:No one could really
figure out what it was.
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:Um, and it was a lot of just
like, okay, well you're only
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:like seven weeks pregnant, so we
just have to like wait and see.
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:And they were throwing around lots
of scary terms and crazy things.
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:And we were just in like a deep
season of like surrendering our family
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:to whatever the Lord's plan was.
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:Um, and so.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Like last
time I was there, it was literally,
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:you know, I was at the doctor that
morning of their church rehearsal, um,
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:and then went up and had their wedding.
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:It was lovely and beautiful, but there
was so much chaos going on in our lives.
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:Um, and then we were like.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Hmm.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: with her
and like she's happy and healthy and
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:it was just like such a beautiful, like
full circle moment, especially because
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:we don't go to this church often.
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:Um, and yeah, it was just like so lovely
and such a, like testament to like the
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:Lord's faithfulness for our family too.
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:So it was, it was lovely.
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:Yeah.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
That is so beautiful.
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:I bet.
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:Yeah.
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:Having that realization when you
were back in that church was just
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:like such a gift to be like, wow.
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:Yeah.
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:Like I'm in the throes of it, but like,
she's here, she's healthy, we're good.
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:Like we made it like, thank you, Jesus.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: so lovely.
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:Yeah.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: So good.
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:Okay.
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:Well, my ever be moment, I last
weekend, spent the weekend at a girl's
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:like weekend up in the mountains.
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:We did a cabin crafting weekend,
so we just like all brought a craft
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:and um, hung out and had girl time.
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:But everybody is Catholic,
uh, or Christian.
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:And we prayed a rosary together and
um, one of the gals recommended that
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:we pray a rosary without distractions,
which I had never heard of.
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:It's like a specific type of rosary,
and basically it walks you through the.
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:Whole mystery, like line by line so
that you can actually meditate with the
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:mystery throughout the entire decade
instead of just say it at the beginning.
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:And I mean, I experienced this so much I
feel like a lot of us do, where we just
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:kind of like forget to keep meditating
on the mystery or like it's hard.
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:To do that while you're in the
middle of all the Hail Marys.
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:So you would say Hail Mary in the decade.
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:And she would say like, one
line, and there's like a written,
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:it's all written like online.
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:So she would say like one line, um,
that like builds upon each other,
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:um, and builds upon the story of
that mystery, which was so beautiful.
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:And I definitely wanna pray it again.
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:So,
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: so funny
you mention that because I saw you post
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:that on Instagram and literally opened
the link and texted it to my husband
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:and I was like, we need to do this.
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:Like this is something I
need for my faith life.
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:Especially like I was saying, I'm in
like newborn days, so my brain is like
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:barely functioning half the time and it's
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: You
like mentioned it again and I'm
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:like, yes, I need to do that too.
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:I definitely need to need to do it.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
Yeah, do it.
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:And then after you do it, DM me,
tell me what your experience was.
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:'cause I, I definitely
wanna like do it again.
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:So Good.
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:Alright, let's dive into our questions.
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:So you mentioned that you're
the owner of Cana Wedding Co,
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:which is a wedding planning.
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:Business.
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:Tell us a little bit just
how did that even come to be?
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:How did you get started?
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:Where did this desire to
serve in this way come.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: um, I actually
started when I was a freshman in college.
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:Um, I went to Catholic University and was
in DC wedding world, which was so fun.
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:Um, but I was definitely, you know,
I started interning like as a fun.
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:Weekend college job.
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:Um, but I was in secular wedding world,
so I saw a lot of the like, okay, we
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:want to have a five minute ceremony
and then just like party really hard
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:with our friends, which so fair.
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:We love a good party.
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:Um,
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:but at the time I had just met my now
husband, um, and was thinking about
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:like, okay, well, like if we were
to get married one day, like I would
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:love to have somebody who understands
like, you know, a wedding as a
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:sacrament at a deeper level and, and
was thinking about just kind of like.
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:What I would want, um, out of
a wedding planner, coordinator,
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:whatever that might be.
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:, And that didn't really exist at
the time, so this was in like:
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:, And so there were like, I think
two gals who were doing it.
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:, And it just wasn't a big thing.
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:And so I kind of like kept it
in the back of my mind, kept
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:working in secular wedding world.
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:, And then going into my senior
year of college, I had one
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:semester left, um, and I was like.
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:just gonna try and like do this and
like, worst case scenario, like I
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:spent a couple hours doing it as like
a fun little senior project and like
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: if
the Lord is, you know, wants
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:this to be a thing, then it will.
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:Um, and so I spent a lot of my.
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:Senior year of college, just doing like
the hard groundwork, like getting all
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:of the business logistics together.
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:, And in the back of my mind I was
always hoping, you know, I could like
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:graduate and start a full-time job
and then, you know, in the years to
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:come, like get married and have kids
and this could be like my mom job.
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:Um, and so I put in a lot of that like.
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:work and here we are now, and like, that's
actually what I do and it's so crazy.
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:Um, I spend, you know, a lot of
my, a lot of my days with my kids.
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:And then, um, our clients are
also, you know, like young working
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:adults who have nine to five jobs.
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:So I meet with most of them
like after five o'clock anyways.
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:Um, so my husband gets home and he gets
time with the kids and I pop upstairs
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:and do my zoom calls and all the things.
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:Um, but yeah, that's kind of where.
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:Everything started, um, we're, I
realized we're almost five years
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:in, in July, which seems crazy.
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:Um, but yeah,
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: like, you
know, myself, I have another lead
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:planner, um, that works with me as well.
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:Her name's Bernadette.
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:She's like salt of the
earth, best human ever.
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:Um, and we adore her.
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:And then we have a couple, you know,
Catholic women who are like assistants
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:and, and help us out on day of.
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:Um, and really our goal is just
to like help Catholic couples.
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:Have their wedding without all of the
extra stress of having like a large event.
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:So a lot of times we talk about that, you
know, obviously the sacrament's the most
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:important part, but that can get skewed so
quickly when you see like, oh my gosh, I
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:need vendors and I have all these to-dos
and like all these things coming up.
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:So our, our goal, especially if we're
doing like a more involved planning
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:process, is to really take that off
your hands and then, you know, for our.
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:Our gals and our couples who are, um,
coordination clients for us, we step
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:in like two months before the wedding
and we get all of the information
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:from them, um, so that they can
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
it, especially like the last
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:month before they get married.
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:But like wedding
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Right?
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: like,
you don't need to think about
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yes.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Go
have fun, enjoy, be present, and
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:like we will handle the behind
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: that's
kind of who we are and what we do.
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:Yeah.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Amazing.
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:Thank you for that.
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:And I love how you, I mean, you already
touched on what I wanna jump in next about
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:how like there's so much that happens
around wedding planning and as Catholic
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:couples, we can easily overlook the mass
and even just overlook the sacrament.
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:That this like mass is right, the
sacrament that marriage, um, brings when
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:you are up there on the altar saying yes.
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:, Because there's so many details in the
wedding planning process for the party
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:afterwards, the reception that like,
take up so much of your time and, and
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:you work in this every single day.
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:So how do you, um, help keep
that focus on marriage as a.
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:Sacrament and keep that focus on the
mass as well, um, and not just as an
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:event or focus on just the reception.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
think really my goal is to like.
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:Worry about the reception
for any given couple.
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:So like, I wanna take all of the, the
to-do list and all the little things
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:and like the signage and all, all
of the fun stuff, but like required
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:things, um, and make sure that they're
taken care of and it's not something
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:that they, you know, are thinking
about while they're up on the altar.
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:Like, oh, I wonder if Aunt Sally
is like setting up the reception.
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:Like I asked her to like.
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:I don't want
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
thinking about that.
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:I don't want your family members
to be thinking about that.
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:Like they should be able to
be present with you guys too.
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:Um, and I think something that comes
up a lot in my work is like, I'm also
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:able to help couples remember that
that's the focus as much as like.
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:You know, subconsciously we
know that that's the focus.
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:We know that that's like what the wedding
is all about, but there's so many other
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:things going on, like you were saying,
that you can get distracted so easily.
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:Um, and really like not even realize that
you've kind of like shifted your focus.
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:And so I'm able to like, you know, be
another, another voice being like, okay,
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:like let's, you know, get back to get
back to what everything's really about
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:and like stay rooted in the sacrament.
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:Um,
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Hmm.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: really.
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:Encourage couples to do as well.
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:I know a lot of them, um, have, you
know, some sort of like pre-K i or
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:marriage prep with their priest or
their diocese or whatever that might be.
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:, But I try and intentionally remind
them to like pursue a spiritually
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:like enriching engagement period.
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:Um, my husband and
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: we live
in a diocese of Wilmington, Delaware.
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:She's a tiny little thing.
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:Not it, it's its own, its own thing.
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:Um,
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Okay.
264
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: but
we didn't have like an in-depth
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:marriage prep experience.
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:We met with our priest three
times and did like an online like.
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:are the seven sacraments
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: just not, we,
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: went to
Catholic school our whole lives.
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:We were like, I, I knew
all of this when I was 12.
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:Like, this is a little ridiculous.
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:But that's something that a lot of couples
do, like, have a similar experience and
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:they aren't, you know, in like the diocese
Arlington, which is so built out in
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:beautiful and amazing and, and we like.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Totally.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: here.
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:I love that for our, our couples
who are, are living there.
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:But um, it's something that if
it's not being provided to you
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:already, I really try and like.
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:Push them to pursue that on their own.
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:Um, and know that like, you know,
just reading some Fulton Sheen will
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:get you far, um, will help you so
much in, in your marriage prep.
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:Um, and really like as much as this
is, you know, planning a, a big event,
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:this is also like your practice for the
rest of your lives as husband and wife.
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:Um, and a lot of times I work.
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:Really closely with brides and not as much
grooms, but I try to really encourage them
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:to do everything together, um, and just to
like continually come back to each other.
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:Like there's so many voices, so many,
you know, people who wanna support you.
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:And it's lovely and it's
amazing, but like, this is your
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:sacrament, this is your wedding.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: sure
that, you know, you're maid of honor
295
:doesn't know more about it than your
groom does that kind of a thing.
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:Um, which is, you know,
probably a hot take.
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:But, but I, you know, I've
seen grooms walk in and be
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:like, oh wow, this looks great.
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:And I'm like, you had no idea
like any of this, this is like
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:hundreds of hours of work, honey.
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:Like this didn't just like
magically appear like this is what
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: A popup.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: So just
doing everything like as a couple, um.
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:Really just like helping to practice
for being married too, I think
305
:is really important in all of,
in all of the fun that it is too.
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:Um,
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
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:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: yeah, just
keeping, keeping your faith as at the
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:forefront of like each part of the wedding
day too, I think is really helpful.
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:Like we have a lot of, um, couples
who will like, say a rosary
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:in the morning, whether that's
like the two of them together
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
313
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: or if
it's like the bride and all of
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:her bridesmaids, like just kind of
keeping yourself rooted in that, even
315
:on the actual day, like obviously.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
317
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: but
like continually kind of like
318
:keeping that at the forefront of
your minds and all of your guest
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:minds makes such a big difference.
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:Yeah.
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
Yeah, absolutely.
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:And I think when it comes to planning
too, I just remember, like I didn't
323
:realize that you could really be so
intentional about planning your mass
324
:because the church already gives us
options for what readings to pick from
325
:and you know what Psalms like all that.
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:Like you just kind of pick
from a set number of options.
327
:So I thought it was just
gonna be like quick and easy.
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:Open it, open up the little book.
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:See what's there, pick it and go.
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:And then Trina was like, no, I really
wanna like, like, let's, like pray
331
:Lexi Davina with like each one of these
and like, see like which one comes up.
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:Like, let's like use this actually
to be like, what does the Lord
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:wanna say through our wedding mass?
334
:Um, and so we actually dove super
deep into like the reasons why we
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:picked every single reading and
we prayed with every single one.
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:Picked the ones that we thought
would represent our marriage and what
337
:we wanted our marriage to be like.
338
:Um, and then with the songs and the
music too, I was very specific about
339
:what songs I wanted, uh, wanted
and what style and everything.
340
:And, um, people.
341
:I mean, everybody probably thinks
this about their wedding, but
342
:like people were just like, that
is like one of the most beautiful
343
:wedding masses like we have been to.
344
:So my encouragement is like, really
dive into that wedding mass planning.
345
:Don't leave it as like the last minute
thing and take time to truly like
346
:pray with the different parts of the
mass and engage in those different
347
:reading options that you have.
348
:'cause it, it can make a big difference.
349
:And the mass ended up being like
one of my favorite parts of the day.
350
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: me too.
351
:And I remember even after my own
wedding, we like had our priest add in
352
:some incense and we like said the St.
353
:Michael Prayer at the end of mass.
354
:And like a couple little things that you
like can technically add into a mass.
355
:Um, or just things that
you have to like ask about.
356
:Like that's one of the things
that I tell couples a lot too, is
357
:like, don't be afraid to just ask.
358
:The worst thing could happen
is they will tell you no.
359
:Ask and see, you know, this is
like the one time you get to really
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:like, create how a mass is going
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:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
362
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: and
like reflect your relationship
363
:and your brand new marriage.
364
:Like go for it.
365
:Worst thing that happens is father says
no and you're like, okay, that's fine.
366
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
Yeah, totally.
367
:Another thing too, I was gonna say,
'cause I totally agree with you
368
:on the marriage prep thing, like I
think a lot of diocese are really
369
:lacking in really solid marriage prep.
370
:Um, we also did not have a
good marriage prep experience.
371
:I think we met with our priest twice
and then COVID hit and he was like.
372
:Go ahead.
373
:And we were like, okay.
374
:Um, and so I really
recommend Better Together.
375
:It's a marriage prep program that
I think it's dynamic Catholic.
376
:And they had all these different Catholic
couples, um, just like kind of in the
377
:Catholic speaking world come together and
help build this marriage prep program.
378
:And I thought it was.
379
:It was really good.
380
:Fostered some really good
conversations, good formation.
381
:So that, I think, and then there's one
on formed, which is called Beloved maybe.
382
:Um, that one was good too.
383
:Had good questions.
384
:Yeah.
385
:So let's talk about engagement, because I
know when I was engaged, I had a picture,
386
:perfect picture in my mind of what I
thought engagement was going to be like.
387
:Um, and I think yes, at its core it
should be joyful and good and beautiful.
388
:But I, myself and a lot of other couples
I've talked to, have experienced.
389
:The hardship in that as well.
390
:And a lot of them have described it as
stressful or overwhelming, um, just not
391
:what they thought it would look like.
392
:Why do you think that is and how
can engaged couples protect their
393
:peace and their unity when planning
starts to really feel intense?
394
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
there's a couple pieces.
395
:So I think one is, like I was kind of
mentioning earlier, you're practicing
396
:being a couple and making decisions
together for the first time, which
397
:can be a little uncomfortable.
398
:I know that that.
399
:Might sound crazy because
you're so excited to like, spend
400
:your life with this person.
401
:But especially like myself and
my husband, as we were making
402
:our decisions, we're both very
like type A, wanna know the plan.
403
:Um, and so learning to make
decisions together was definitely
404
:a little bit of a learning curve.
405
:Um, and you're, you're balancing.
406
:you're talking about money, , a lot.
407
:And you're, you know, dealing with family
expectations and opinions and like trying
408
:to do things together for the first time.
409
:And it, it does take some practice.
410
:And I think that that's something that's
really beautiful and it, as much as
411
:it's like stressful in the moment, it.
412
:Helps you in the long run.
413
:, So don't be like too afraid of those, you
know, more uncomfortable situations, like
414
:work through them together as a team.
415
:, There is definitely like a piece of, a
lot of couples experience little spiritual
416
:warfare in their engagement process.
417
:And I know that's like, you
know, a hot topic among a lot of
418
:Catholic, uh, circles and things.
419
:Um, but just,
420
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Sure.
421
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
of times just like.
422
:encourage couples just to like zoom
out and just like take a second, take
423
:a break from whatever is causing you
all this stress and just like breathe.
424
:Have a conversation with your soon to
be spouse and like, you know, take it.
425
:Take it a step back and, you know, kind
of have a reset for a minute because we
426
:can get so like deep into especially,
you know, the extra reception things and
427
:all of that and, and looking back and
being like, okay, our mass is like set
428
:and it's gonna be beautiful and the rest
of the wedding it's like kind of extra.
429
:And as much as we want it to be
beautiful, like once you're married,
430
:you're married and, you know, my
husband and I joked like we, it ended
431
:up raining like a monsoon on our wedding
day and we were like ultimately like.
432
:Once we're married, I don't really care.
433
:Whatever.
434
:Like we could just cancel the reception.
435
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
436
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
Like you get to that point.
437
:Um, but yeah, I think that's,
that's a big piece of it.
438
:And you know, ultimately there is just
like an extra, I feel like, added pressure
439
:to perform, um, in our society where
we have, you know, like a bazillion.
440
:Pieces on TikTok and Instagram about your
bridal era and like all of the things.
441
:And I feel like that can really just
like fuzzy our view and focus of the
442
:day and add additional stress in places
that we don't necessarily need it.
443
:Like it's really gonna be okay.
444
:Um, and that's something that
445
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yep.
446
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: That I
encourage couples to really, again,
447
:like zoom out, focus on the mass, focus
on, you know, what your priorities are.
448
:Um, that's something we work
449
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
450
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: a lot
of times too, is like, let's pick
451
:a couple areas that you really care
452
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
453
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
you wanna spend your money.
454
:If photography is incredibly
important to you, let's allocate
455
:your budget accordingly.
456
:The rest of the things like you can
play with and, and make it work.
457
:So,
458
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
459
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: that's
just another, like, more practical
460
:piece is just to list out those
priorities and kind of like assign your
461
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
462
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: accordingly.
463
:But ultimately it is supposed to be fun.
464
:And if it's feeling like it's not
fun, that's when I say like, take
465
:a step back, take a breath, get
466
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
467
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: My goodness.
468
:Get off your phone, put it in like
another room and just kind of like take
469
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
470
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: a reset.
471
:Yeah.
472
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: I
love that, and I loved your advice
473
:about like zoom out and come back
to each other and remember like,
474
:why are we even doing this, right?
475
:Like, we want to get married at the end of
the day, we just care about our marriage.
476
:And yes, we want all the wedding
day things to be absolutely
477
:spectacular and they will, right?
478
:But if we lose sight
of why we're doing it.
479
:It's going to get harder.
480
:So I think that while we were engaged,
we planned a few date nights where like
481
:we told each other like, we are not
allowed to talk about wedding planning.
482
:Like, we're gonna invest in
our relationship and just
483
:talk about different things.
484
:Um, and kind of just repark that love
that we have for each other, aside from
485
:being like wedding planners together.
486
:So, so for a bride who's just gotten
engaged, what do you want her to know
487
:before she even starts planning anything?
488
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
I kind of mentioned
489
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Um.
490
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: but I.
491
:from the rooftops that your fiance
is supposed to be your biggest
492
:supporter in this season of life.
493
:Um, and as much as there's lots of
decisions to be made and it's so exciting
494
:and it's really fun, and a lot of other
people in your life want to support you
495
:in the season, you need to have your
fiance at top of mind all the time.
496
:Um, you need to have conversations with.
497
:Him or her first.
498
:Um, you know, I remember being
engaged and people like 24 hours
499
:after we got engaged being like,
okay, so when are you getting married?
500
:And we were like, ha ha.
501
:Like, I haven't even had
time to call the priest yet.
502
:Like, what do you.
503
:Do you expect that I just like
magically make this happen?
504
:You know?
505
:And as much as,
506
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
507
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: are like,
so supportive and so lovely and, and
508
:want the best for you in that way,
um, you know, I think it's really
509
:important that you and your fiance have
conversations together first and foremost.
510
:If like questions keep coming up
and you're like, Hmm, you know what?
511
:I don't.
512
:Really know what he
thinks about this topic.
513
:Like know that it's okay to say like,
oh, we're still trying to figure that
514
:out, and take it back to your, you
know, soon to be spouse and really
515
:discuss it together first, because
it can get a little difficult if you
516
:guys have a difference of opinion.
517
:And then you have like parents involved
who are trying to give their opinion and
518
:then it turns into like, oh, well this
team wants this and this team wants that.
519
:And it's like.
520
:Not, you don't wanna at least start things
there too, especially in the early days.
521
:Um, and then the other piece of
it is, you know, a lot of times
522
:the beginning is the hardest part.
523
:I don't know about how your, you know,
wedding planning process was, but we have
524
:lovely church ladies who like to, you
know, keep the wedding calendar and you
525
:may need to meet with a priest first.
526
:You may need to come and do a,
a bazillion to-do list items
527
:before you can reserve a date.
528
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
Yes, so true.
529
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: within
that, I know a lot of times
530
:you're also trying to find a
531
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
532
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: can accommodate
the same date, um, which is hard.
533
:I, I remember literally being in tears
over it because I was like, this is
534
:so hard, and why is it this hard?
535
:Like,
536
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
537
:Yeah.
538
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
that lasts for like.
539
:A week or two.
540
:And once you get the calendars and
you see when people are open, like
541
:it really gets better, I promise.
542
:Um, I think it discourages a lot of
couples early on being like, oh my
543
:gosh, why is this so hard so early on?
544
:But once you get that date set with
both, you're in a much better place.
545
:And then you can really start to do like
the fun vendor process and all of that.
546
:But,
547
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah,
548
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: you know,
stay strong in the first couple weeks.
549
:Know that it's a process.
550
:Um.
551
:you'll get there.
552
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: I
feel like I would agree with that.
553
:I think like it.
554
:Was frustrating a little bit at first to
go back and forth for a couple weeks for
555
:us, like I think it took us like about
a month to finalize our actual date.
556
:'cause we were going back and forth
with like families and schedules
557
:and like, this is what we want,
this is what works for family.
558
:We also were in, I had just graduated
from college and Trey was a year below me,
559
:so he would've, he was graduating early,
but all his friends were still in college
560
:and so half of our bridal party was.
561
:Still in college.
562
:And so we had to like line it up with
like some like spring break or whatever.
563
:And yeah, then the churches and the
venue and making sure everything
564
:we wanted was on the same day.
565
:So yeah, that, that scheduling period is a
little bit stressful, but once that's done
566
:it's like you can get into the fun stuff.
567
:So for somebody who is just getting
started in, in your opinion, what
568
:are the most important parts of the
wedding planning process that you feel
569
:like brides should focus on early on?
570
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
I think there's a couple
571
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
572
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: that
goes into those like early days.
573
:So the most important information, like
people are gonna wanna know if we're
574
:talking about venue or church or, or
whatever that might be, they're gonna
575
:wanna know, like your guest count,
how many people you're envisioning.
576
:Um, with that, I always say
to like, actually go through
577
:and write down a list of like.
578
:The actual names because you
might in your head think, oh,
579
:we only have a hundred people.
580
:And then you write them all out and it's
like 180 and you're like, Ooh, wait,
581
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Okay.
582
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
different than what I thought.
583
:So go ahead and write out all
of your, like, must have people
584
:even, um, and go through that.
585
:Think about what your overall budget
is gonna look like and if you have had
586
:family make any like, you know, indication
that they might be wanting to, you know.
587
:with your budget, um, in any way.
588
:Try and
589
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
590
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: early.
591
:I know it's uncomfortable and
it's like kind of a weird place
592
:to be like, hi, so you said you
wanna gimme money, how much money?
593
:But it is,
594
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
595
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: really
helpful, , to try and get a good
596
:idea of that on the front end.
597
:, And then also just trying
to think about like.
598
:A general like month or time of year that
you wanna get married I think is really
599
:helpful on the front end, like we were
just saying, like sometimes you don't have
600
:the exact options that you want at the
church and they, you know, this beautiful
601
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
602
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: is booked on
the exact weekend that you are wanting.
603
:And that
604
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
605
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: and it's okay.
606
:And, and you'll end up loving
wherever you get married.
607
:But, , trying to think through those
pieces ahead of time is really helpful.
608
:And then from there, you know, looking
at your church and venue, um, if you have
609
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
610
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: like really
specific overall like design that
611
:you have in mind, , it's a great time
to like start thinking about that
612
:and what can kind of align there.
613
:, And then.
614
:there, just looking at what
your personal priorities are.
615
:So like my now husband and
I, and I encourage all of
616
:our couples to do it as well.
617
:We like sat down and literally looked
at like the different categories of
618
:vendors and we literally listed them
from like one to 10 or whatever it was.
619
:Um, and.
620
:Outlines like what mattered to us.
621
:Even, you know, beyond the mass.
622
:Like there are some, some gals who
like live and breathe the florals
623
:and they wanna spend $10,000 on
their florals, and they're fine
624
:with that and they're happy with
625
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
626
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: rather
do that than get a videographer.
627
:You know what fair, like
628
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
629
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
so allowed to do that.
630
:Um, and that's something that I think
is helpful to have that conversation
631
:early on and just make sure like you guys
are envisioning the same kind of thing.
632
:Um, again, always just bringing it back
to like, okay, this is our, our wedding.
633
:What do we wanna, you
know, what do we wanna do?
634
:How do we wanna purchase as a couple?
635
:, and you know, especially for brides
like myself who were, you know, have
636
:had a Pinterest board for their wedding
since they were like 12 years old.
637
:Taking a step back and like giving your,
you know, future husband places to add
638
:his opinion as well is really important.
639
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
640
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: And I
know it can be hard when he, you
641
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm.
642
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: my example I
tell brides all the time is like, I really
643
:wanted the mismatch bridesmaid dresses.
644
:That was like starting to be
a thing when we got married.
645
:My husband was like,
no, I don't like that.
646
:It looks distracting to me.
647
:And like, I wanna look back at
our pictures and like, have ev
648
:And I was like, you know what?
649
:Okay.
650
:Fair.
651
:Like I can, I can accept that.
652
:Okay.
653
:And so that's what we did.
654
:And everybody wore their beautiful,
you know, dusty blue dresses and
655
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
656
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: and whatever.
657
:But like that's, you know, those are
the kind of things that are helpful to
658
:discuss the two of you together first,
again, before you like, you know,
659
:broadcast to all of your best friends.
660
:Like, okay, go start looking for a dress.
661
:It can be whatever you want.
662
:Like those
663
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
664
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Yeah.
665
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Totally.
666
:Totally.
667
:And I, I love that you share
that particular example because
668
:that shows just like love, right?
669
:And docility and like reminding
that, like reminding yourself that
670
:it's your husband's day as well.
671
:And he also gets a say, um, and that it
is like loving of us to, to make those
672
:little sacrifices and find the common.
673
:Um, what do you feel like are
some of the most common planning
674
:mistakes that you see brides make?
675
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Yeah,
I think generally the whole DIY
676
:concept is a troublesome spot.
677
:Um, myself and Bernadette, who works with
me, we both got married like very soon out
678
:of college, didn't have a ton of money.
679
:We so get it.
680
:Um, but there are certain areas of DIY.
681
:Works well and others that don't.
682
:So we always say like, if you want
to do anything, DIY, try and do it.
683
:Something that is like you can do
a month-ish before your wedding.
684
:We don't want something like time
sensitive that's coming up with.
685
:With the DIY things.
686
:Um, so like, you
687
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Hmm.
688
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: of those
mistakes being, I've had some seen first
689
:and you know, first and foremost some
gals who like wanna do their own florals.
690
:And then I come in on wedding
691
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Oh yeah.
692
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
yeah, so I was up until 4:00 AM
693
:making bridesmaid bouquets and
694
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Okay.
695
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: I'm
696
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
697
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: and I like,
can't see straight and I have a headache
698
:and like all these things and you're like.
699
:Okay.
700
:So when we look at all of that's now
happened, like looking back, even just
701
:for me, like as I, you know, advise other
couples, I'm like, okay, looking back
702
:at this, my girl now has a headache.
703
:She had, you know, three hours
of sleep before she had to
704
:wake up and do hair and makeup.
705
:She has to be up all day, like,
you know, on her, her princess
706
:mode everyone being the happiest G
707
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah,
708
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: which
I'm sure you know, she still
709
:is, but you're looking at all of
710
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
but you're exhausted.
711
:Okay, let's just talk about that.
712
:That is something no
one ever told me before.
713
:My wedding day, nobody
talks about it enough.
714
:I was exhausted on my wedding
day and like, I'm like definitely
715
:out extrovert, like social
butterfly, life of the party girl.
716
:I was so excited to just dance all night.
717
:But literally like at the reception, I
think at like 7:00 PM I went up to train.
718
:I'm like, how much longer do we have?
719
:And he like.
720
:We've got a while, girl, like,
you gotta take, you know, get
721
:another drink, get some food in
you, like get on the dance floor.
722
:And I was like, wow.
723
:I'm like exhausted
724
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: And that's
one of the things that I like tell
725
:brides all the time is like in the
morning, I will be bothering you
726
:to drink water and to eat food.
727
:And if I'm not physically there,
I need you to assign a bridesmaid,
728
:uh, someone who's in the room
with you to literally be like,
729
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: to do so.
730
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: you food
because I know it's exciting and you have
731
:butterflies and you're like, no, I'm good.
732
:I don't need to eat.
733
:But then like.
734
:lot of brides have a two o'clock
mass time, which is already
735
:like, do I have lunch before?
736
:Like, what do I do with this?
737
:Then by the time it's done, you
take photos, it's like 4:00 PM
738
:and you're going to start at your
739
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
For your starving.
740
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: starving, and
you then have a migraine and like don't
741
:wanna drink and like, oh, you know it.
742
:It
743
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
744
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: into so
many other things and it's a long day.
745
:Like so
746
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Else?
747
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: girls get
up at 6:00 AM to start hair and makeup
748
:and then wanna go to their after
party until 1:00 AM or whatever time.
749
:And I'm like, you've been
up for hours my dear.
750
:Like at least go sit for a
second and like take a breather.
751
:And that's something I tell couples a
752
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
753
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: like build
in some spots for yourself throughout
754
:the wedding day to like just escape.
755
:Whether it's by yourself or if it's,
you know, with your, with your new
756
:spouse, I tend to recommend it with
757
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
758
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
your new husband.
759
:But like, go sit for a second
760
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
761
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
some water and like breathe.
762
:And that really
763
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
764
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
one, kind of like reset, but
765
:also just like, remember your
766
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
767
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: instead
of just like going from one
768
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Hmm.
769
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: another
to another and you like never
770
:really have a time to like stop
and just like, enjoy the day.
771
:in some
772
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
773
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: time and,
you know, making some intentional
774
:places for you to like take a break
775
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
776
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: a difference.
777
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
778
:Totally.
779
:So back to the DIY, besides florals, is
there anything else that you feel like
780
:is a popular one that you're like, ah,
this one's always kind of troublesome?
781
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: I, as
much as we love it, um, having
782
:family members contribute to
kind of like vendor categories.
783
:to be a little
784
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Sure.
785
:, avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: A lot of
times we see that with florals as well,
786
:but like sometimes we'll have, like
Aunt Sally wants to make the cake and
787
:then, you know, like you, some uncle is
like, yeah, you can just hop in my car
788
:and I'll be your chauffeur for the day.
789
:And like those kind of things.
790
:Sometimes they work out.
791
:A lot of other
792
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
793
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: don't work out.
794
:So you have to think about like
kind of who you're dealing with in
795
:that, you know your loved ones best.
796
:But that's something that, you
know, we tell couples a lot is
797
:like, you don't have a contract
with this person as much as you can
798
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
799
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: to
them like, I want X, Y, and Z.
800
:Like, they kind of get
to do whatever they want.
801
:Like there's nothing.
802
:and, and as much as I'm sure
they want to do what you want,
803
:they want the best for you.
804
:Sometimes you
805
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
806
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Aunt Sally
that you want white and green flowers
807
:turns into like, you know, like white and
808
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
than what you thought.
809
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: when
you mend it the other way around.
810
:So just.
811
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
812
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: cautious of it.
813
:We love all of
814
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
815
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: ones and all
of your guests, but that's the other main
816
:piece is like, you know, not doing DIYs
that are time sensitive and gonna keep
817
:you up till 3:00 AM the night before.
818
:Um, but then also just happily cautious
with family members and loved ones guests,
819
:whoever it might be that want to help.
820
:I necessarily like contractually,
you know, supported or it's
821
:something that they don't
822
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Totally
823
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
do for like a living.
824
:Like, you know, anybody
825
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: right.
826
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: a cake.
827
:Like, I can technically make a cake.
828
:Do you want me to make your wedding cake?
829
:Heck no.
830
:But I could, you know what I mean?
831
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Totally.
832
:No, yeah, that makes sense.
833
:And put very lovingly, but also
very like, look like I have seen
834
:this all through multiple times.
835
:So just like your professional
advice, I would take it.
836
:Absolutely.
837
:Um, and this kind of leads into the
next question I had when it comes
838
:to like navigating family opinions.
839
:, especially when parents are
helping to pay for the wedding
840
:or maybe have strong preferences.
841
:I know it can get hard there because
you feel an obligation to do everything
842
:your parents want since they're
paying for it or helping in some way.
843
:Um, but it's at the end
of the day, your day.
844
:Right?
845
:Like what advice do you have for
brides who are experiencing this?
846
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: think one big
thing we say in Wedding World is that
847
:money equals decision making ability.
848
:So basically if you want, you know
if, if your mom wants 10 of her best
849
:friends invited to the wedding, but
she's giving you a couple thousand
850
:dollars, kind of offsets that
and you're like, you know what?
851
:Well that's not the craziest request then.
852
:So trying to just like take
that perspective, a lot
853
:of times it is also hard.
854
:People aren't giving you money,
but they still wanna give opinions.
855
:And you're like, okay, well you want 10
friends, but that's an extra, like, you
856
:have no idea how much more money that is.
857
:That's $150 a head just for food plus
858
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
859
:Mm-hmm.
860
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Like all,
you're like, honey, this is thousands of
861
:dollars now to have your 10 besties here.
862
:Um, so just trying
863
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
864
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: that and, and
I think illustrating that to parents or
865
:family members is helpful too, just to
kind of outline like, okay, I totally get.
866
:know where you're coming from, what your
opinion is, you're trying to lovingly
867
:give me advice, whatever it might be.
868
:But like, this is how we're seeing it and
this is like either the cost associated
869
:with that or like, this is kind of like
sharing your, your point of view with it.
870
:, I think to kind of offset that
and welcome family help, but and
871
:keep a little bit of a line there.
872
:, We were talking about like
making priorities earlier on.
873
:And I think that that's somewhere
where you go to the bottom of
874
:the list of priorities and you
see like, okay, what things do I
875
:not really care that much about?
876
:If you don't really care about your
table numbers, that's a great place for
877
:you to bring in grandma and have her
help you like DIY, your table numbers.
878
:If she doesn't, you
879
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
880
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: that's
something that she's able to give a little
881
:opinion on, help you out in doing, like
882
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
883
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: together.
884
:for it.
885
:Like let people be involved.
886
:I think it's a hard
balance between the two.
887
:Um, and that's something we
talk about a lot as well, is
888
:like you want to naturally, you
know, have your family involved.
889
:You want their opinions, but then
like it crosses into like a little
890
:bit too much and, okay, hold on.
891
:We gotta gotta reel it in here.
892
:Gotta backtrack.
893
:And ultimately, like we were talking
about earlier too, this is practice
894
:for you guys starting your own family
and like having to kind of like.
895
:know, make a, make a line and be
like, okay, well we're willing to
896
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Yeah.
897
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: but
like this is where the line
898
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Great.
899
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Um,
and it's good practice in that.
900
:It's uncomfortable, but
it's good practice in that.
901
:Um.
902
:And then also, you know, just trying
to keep in mind that they, most of the
903
:times, I can't say always, but most of
the time they're just trying to help and
904
:they really do like love you and want the
best for you and they're just trying to
905
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
906
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201:
know, be a part of this really
907
:exciting experience for you.
908
:So another, it's another one where like
helpful to just kind of zoom out for
909
:a second reset and be like, okay, what
are we really like aiming for here?
910
:What are.
911
:If
912
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
913
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: to be
involved in help, like find a place
914
:for them to be involved in help.
915
:So, um, those are
916
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
917
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: you know,
the base, the base thoughts there.
918
:But yeah, it is a really,
it's a challenging topic and
919
:it's a challenge for everyone.
920
:So if you're in the midst of that,
like know that it's not just you,
921
:it's not just your mom or future
mother-in-law or whoever it might be.
922
:Yeah.
923
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Totally,
uh, bringing it back to priorities.
924
:I remember it totally just like
brought me back to wedding planning.
925
:And, um, I remember like we made a
list of our, I think like top three
926
:things that most important to us.
927
:And then we asked our parents what,
'cause they both, they split our
928
:wedding costs, which was such a gift.
929
:And so then we asked our parents
like, what are the top three things
930
:that you would want to prioritize?
931
:And then we kind of put those together
and we got to make the ultimate decision.
932
:But we were able to see like, okay, like
for example like us, like right out of
933
:college, like we did not care about the
food, which is hilarious because if I were
934
:to get married now, I would absolutely
care about having like an exquisite meal.
935
:I care so much more about like food
now than I did as a 22-year-old.
936
:But we were like, we could have pasta.
937
:From Olive Garden for all I care.
938
:You know, Trey was like, I'd
be happy with tacos, and our
939
:parents were like, absolutely not.
940
:Like food is like the number
one priority that we have.
941
:And so we were able to kind of like
work with our budget and be like,
942
:okay, our top priority is video and.
943
:Photo and having a great dance party.
944
:And then mine was florals, but then it
was like also food was really important.
945
:And so we're like, okay, we're
going to try and save money in
946
:different areas on florals so
that we can have a nicer dinner.
947
:And so I made my bridesmaids
bouquets a little bit smaller.
948
:And that saved some money.
949
:And we put that towards
the food department.
950
:So it was about like honoring both
priorities, especially if they're
951
:helping you, um, pay for the wedding,
but then also just kind of reworking the
952
:budget together and both sides, knowing
each other's priorities so you can
953
:kind of make those decisions together.
954
:And there's like a mutual compromise
of like how we're spending the money
955
:and like where everything's gonna go.
956
:So
957
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Yeah.
958
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204:
it just reminded me of that,
959
:if that's helpful to anybody.
960
:Um, one of the last questions I wanna ask
is, what's one detail that you feel like
961
:makes a noticeable difference in how the
wedding day actually feels for the couple?
962
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: I think
having a really well-built timeline
963
:is like lifesaver of the day.
964
:Um, whether it's that you have an
outside coordinator like myself
965
:come in and, and help you with that.
966
:Um, and is the one kind of.
967
:Directing it, or even if you just like
build out a good timeline yourselves.
968
:Um, I think it's really helpful to
just have everything written down
969
:and share that with people so that
they know like where to be when.
970
:One of the things that we talk a lot
about, um, with our, our couples and
971
:like with bridesmaids and groomsmen.
972
:They need to know what time they're
expected to be getting dressed because the
973
:photographer's coming over and like, if
the girls are still in their PJs, they're
974
:gonna feel uncomfortable or whatever.
975
:That might be like just
articulating that well.
976
:, And then within that timeline, if
you don't have a professional that's
977
:like helping you in that process,
um, my, you know, word to word to
978
:everyone is just to make sure that
you have buffer time in there.
979
:Um, my lead example is like,
yes, at home it might take you
980
:five minutes to hop into a dress.
981
:If you're putting on a wedding dress, we
need a good 20 minutes, like at least,
982
:because you're gonna realize, oh, I need
to go to the bathroom before I get in.
983
:Oh, I have.
984
:400 buttons that I need to put on with
a crochet hook thing that is gonna take
985
:mari-wagner_1_02-04-2026_104204: Mm-hmm.
986
:avery_1_02-04-2026_124201: Like
there's a lot more pieces there.
987
:Everyone wants your attention, they're
so excited for you, but like you need to
988
:make sure that you have time to do these
things and not be like, incredibly rushed.
989
:That's something that is actually
another one of those like mistakes
990
:that we see a lot, um, from couples
who DIY, their weddings or don't have
991
:coordinators or, or whoever that might be.
992
:Um.
993
:they, you know, feel like their morning
got off track and they're like running
994
:really behind, it's hard to catch up
and like and, and be relaxed again.
995
:, So that's something that, you know, we,
we do little like consult calls with
996
:couples a lot, , for people who might
not have the budget to have a full
997
:service like planner or coordinator.
998
:Um, and so I, I work with women all the
time to like make their full timeline
999
:and that's one of the things I always
:
00:43:01,295 --> 00:43:01,585
-::
00:43:01,655 --> 00:43:02,255
-::
00:43:02,850 --> 00:43:06,600
I'm putting extra time in here
because I want you to have a nice
:
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,340
morning and I don't want you to be
:
00:43:08,725 --> 00:43:09,015
-::
00:43:09,180 --> 00:43:10,410
-:want you to have to feel like
:
00:43:10,410 --> 00:43:11,790
you're trying to like play catch up.
:
00:43:11,790 --> 00:43:15,840
And then especially you know, in
the morning if you're getting ready,
:
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,640
getting out the door, getting to mass.
:
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:21,510
Like you think about the days where you
are running a little late to mass on like
:
00:43:21,510 --> 00:43:25,665
a Sunday and then you get in your pew and
your brain is still like fuzzy and zooming
:
00:43:25,965 --> 00:43:26,255
-::
00:43:26,310 --> 00:43:28,475
-:takes you half of mass to like really.
:
00:43:29,435 --> 00:43:30,695
Reign it in and be present.
:
00:43:30,935 --> 00:43:31,505
We really
:
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:31,870
-::
00:43:32,170 --> 00:43:33,125
-:happening on your wedding day.
:
00:43:33,125 --> 00:43:35,015
Like I want you to be able to like.
:
00:43:35,915 --> 00:43:39,875
a really deep breath and like soak it all
in and you know, really appreciate those
:
00:43:39,875 --> 00:43:44,105
moments before you walk down the aisle
and like be fully present for all of that.
:
00:43:44,305 --> 00:43:47,695
, And again, just like helping to
remember your wedding day, it does go
:
00:43:47,695 --> 00:43:51,055
really fast, but those are the, the
things that we can implement so that
:
00:43:51,055 --> 00:43:52,775
you remember your wedding day betters.
:
00:43:52,775 --> 00:43:57,075
You know, , taking your time and having
that buffer room, um, is something that's
:
00:43:57,075 --> 00:43:59,535
just like incredibly, incredibly helpful.
:
00:43:59,535 --> 00:44:01,305
And then, I know you said one, but my.
:
00:44:01,655 --> 00:44:06,635
Other thing I have to add is we see
couples a lot of time at the reception
:
00:44:06,905 --> 00:44:10,895
pulled in different directions, talking to
family or loved ones or whoever that might
:
00:44:11,060 --> 00:44:11,480
-::
00:44:11,780 --> 00:44:14,285
-:the dance floor, something like that.
:
00:44:15,425 --> 00:44:19,745
really, really, really emphasize
to all of our couples that you need
:
00:44:19,745 --> 00:44:21,275
to stay together at your reception.
:
00:44:22,005 --> 00:44:25,725
it can be hard, and I know me saying it
sounds like, oh well we just got married.
:
00:44:25,725 --> 00:44:27,135
We're of course gonna stay together.
:
00:44:27,135 --> 00:44:31,545
But like when, you know a loved one from
this table eight all the way in the other
:
00:44:31,545 --> 00:44:35,625
corner of the room wants to pull your new
husband away because they have to tell
:
00:44:35,750 --> 00:44:36,050
-::
00:44:36,350 --> 00:44:38,025
-:thought of from when they were four years
:
00:44:38,025 --> 00:44:43,365
old, whatever might be, it happens all
the time and you don't realize it in the
:
00:44:43,365 --> 00:44:47,115
moment, but you're trying to be respectful
and, and you know, you are like, oh yeah,
:
00:44:47,150 --> 00:44:47,720
-::
00:44:48,020 --> 00:44:48,825
-::
00:44:49,845 --> 00:44:52,185
Try your very, very
hardest to stay together.
:
00:44:52,185 --> 00:44:56,175
And if you realize that you got separated,
make it a top priority to make your way
:
00:44:56,205 --> 00:44:59,595
back to your brand new spouse so that
you can experience the day together,
:
00:44:59,595 --> 00:45:01,395
because it does make a huge difference.
:
00:45:01,395 --> 00:45:03,315
So those are my, my two.
:
00:45:03,645 --> 00:45:04,515
My two pieces.
:
00:45:04,515 --> 00:45:04,785
Yeah.
:
00:45:05,025 --> 00:45:05,745
-:I love that.
:
00:45:05,745 --> 00:45:09,885
I saw a creator on Instagram
post something similar recently
:
00:45:09,885 --> 00:45:15,165
about her, um, the, what's it
called, the rehearsal dinner.
:
00:45:16,110 --> 00:45:19,200
Maybe it was actually the
day of or the wedding too.
:
00:45:19,890 --> 00:45:20,730
Either one of those.
:
00:45:20,730 --> 00:45:24,240
Yeah, she posted a reel where it was
like, when they said, stay together,
:
00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:27,870
we took it really seriously and they
told each other, I think it was their
:
00:45:27,870 --> 00:45:31,140
rehearsal dinner, that they were gonna
hold hands like the whole night so that
:
00:45:31,140 --> 00:45:32,430
they would make sure that they like.
:
00:45:32,510 --> 00:45:34,190
Don't like get pulled away.
:
00:45:34,460 --> 00:45:37,550
And so when they weren't like sitting
down or eating, like if they were standing
:
00:45:37,550 --> 00:45:41,030
up, even if they were talking to a guest
or something, they were holding hands.
:
00:45:41,030 --> 00:45:43,100
And it was just like this
beautiful physical reminder
:
00:45:43,100 --> 00:45:44,690
of just like, we are together.
:
00:45:44,690 --> 00:45:45,800
This is our day.
:
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,930
Like you feel that affection
towards each other.
:
00:45:48,260 --> 00:45:51,500
And also like a, we literally
can't get pulled away without
:
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:52,520
the other one coming with me.
:
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,110
So like we're not being separated.
:
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:55,490
And it was really beautiful.
:
00:45:55,510 --> 00:45:55,760
-::
00:45:56,513 --> 00:45:58,913
-:why do you feel like having a wedding
:
00:45:58,913 --> 00:46:00,713
planner really makes a difference?
:
00:46:01,013 --> 00:46:03,178
-:obviously I am a, I'm a big fan.
:
00:46:03,178 --> 00:46:06,538
I like to tell people too that
I'm a wedding planner who had
:
00:46:06,538 --> 00:46:07,888
my own wedding coordinator.
:
00:46:07,888 --> 00:46:11,143
Like I believe in it so deeply that
even planning my own wedding, I had.
:
00:46:11,873 --> 00:46:14,173
Another gal come in
and do all of the stuff
:
00:46:14,473 --> 00:46:14,893
-::
00:46:15,193 --> 00:46:16,223
-:um, and in, even in
:
00:46:16,273 --> 00:46:16,693
-::
00:46:16,763 --> 00:46:18,893
-:weeks leading up, because you wanna
:
00:46:18,893 --> 00:46:22,313
be able to be fully present and
not have to think about anything.
:
00:46:22,583 --> 00:46:25,613
Like there are so many things
that come up on a wedding day.
:
00:46:25,823 --> 00:46:31,583
I like the list is monumental of all
the things that come up that you don't
:
00:46:31,583 --> 00:46:33,413
wanna have to be like troubleshooting.
:
00:46:33,443 --> 00:46:33,808
And so that's what.
:
00:46:34,843 --> 00:46:37,963
job is what any wedding planner
or coordinator should be doing, at
:
00:46:37,963 --> 00:46:41,803
least is they should be trying to
handle these problems before you
:
00:46:41,803 --> 00:46:43,183
even realize that they come up.
:
00:46:43,393 --> 00:46:47,083
So like, if a bridesmaid's button
just broke off the back of her dress,
:
00:46:47,293 --> 00:46:50,503
like we're in there with a needle
and thread fixing it before she can
:
00:46:50,503 --> 00:46:53,893
have a tear streamed out her face
like, oh my gosh, what am I gonna do?
:
00:46:54,193 --> 00:46:57,853
Or, you know, there's, there's so
much we try really hard to make.
:
00:46:58,743 --> 00:47:01,413
Exact timelines, but regardless, you know,
:
00:47:01,563 --> 00:47:01,893
-::
00:47:02,463 --> 00:47:04,833
-:about like five friends trying to get
:
00:47:04,833 --> 00:47:05,738
out the door to go to dinner together.
:
00:47:07,258 --> 00:47:11,158
Something happens every time and
you end up a little off track, like
:
00:47:11,158 --> 00:47:14,578
somebody forgot their phone inside
or you know, they have to go grab
:
00:47:14,578 --> 00:47:17,488
this or that, or, you know, there's
always something that comes up.
:
00:47:17,488 --> 00:47:20,998
So if you're, you know, trying to
wrangle a hundred guests who've been
:
00:47:20,998 --> 00:47:23,728
enjoying themselves, a lot of times
have been drinking and like the
:
00:47:23,728 --> 00:47:27,958
slightest alcohol gets adults, like
paying attention is, oh my goodness,
:
00:47:27,958 --> 00:47:29,668
it's like, you know, herding cats.
:
00:47:29,878 --> 00:47:34,468
Um, but that's something that, you
know, I want to be able to do and focus
:
00:47:34,468 --> 00:47:36,238
on for you so that you can just like.
:
00:47:36,478 --> 00:47:38,968
Go from point A to point B and
not have to think about it.
:
00:47:38,968 --> 00:47:41,848
And you can be really fully
present with your new spouse.
:
00:47:41,848 --> 00:47:48,058
And also a lot of times the coordination
role or like the decor setup role gets
:
00:47:48,058 --> 00:47:50,668
passed off to family members or friends.
:
00:47:50,668 --> 00:47:52,856
And that's something that I totally.
:
00:47:53,403 --> 00:47:58,113
Understand and can support
from, you know, from a distance.
:
00:47:58,173 --> 00:48:01,473
If you have friends who like aren't
in your wedding party and wanna
:
00:48:01,473 --> 00:48:03,603
help you, by all means go for it.
:
00:48:03,993 --> 00:48:08,013
But we don't wanna see your parents
helping you like set up your.
:
00:48:08,408 --> 00:48:10,743
Your card card box at your reception.
:
00:48:11,043 --> 00:48:11,333
-::
00:48:11,408 --> 00:48:11,558
-::
00:48:11,778 --> 00:48:12,078
-::
00:48:12,248 --> 00:48:13,268
-:see that happen for them.
:
00:48:13,268 --> 00:48:17,588
Like, please find anyone else to do
that task, but they should be able to be
:
00:48:17,598 --> 00:48:18,018
-::
00:48:18,318 --> 00:48:19,778
-:enjoy your wedding day too.
:
00:48:19,778 --> 00:48:22,838
And I think that that's something
that, you know, we alleviate a
:
00:48:22,838 --> 00:48:25,598
lot of that responsibility and
that stress for couples, for
:
00:48:25,598 --> 00:48:26,858
their families, for their guests.
:
00:48:26,858 --> 00:48:31,268
Like having a point person who's in
charge of everything and knows everything
:
00:48:31,268 --> 00:48:33,428
that's going on is so valuable.
:
00:48:33,668 --> 00:48:35,168
Even just to have like a lead.
:
00:48:35,483 --> 00:48:40,373
Person if a question comes up, if
something like goes awry when your bustle
:
00:48:40,373 --> 00:48:46,193
breaks and I have, you know, 97 safety
pins in my bag and can come bring you.
:
00:48:46,343 --> 00:48:49,548
Like, those are the kind of things
that we are happy to take care
:
00:48:49,848 --> 00:48:50,388
-:You're ready to go.
:
00:48:50,963 --> 00:48:51,443
-::
00:48:51,443 --> 00:48:52,313
Yeah, exactly.
:
00:48:52,313 --> 00:48:55,283
You're not like trying to find
a bandaid because you're blister
:
00:48:55,283 --> 00:48:57,713
from your heels that you've
never worn is like killing you.
:
00:48:57,743 --> 00:48:58,523
Those kind of things.
:
00:48:58,523 --> 00:49:02,153
So making it so that, you know,
brides and grooms can just like.
:
00:49:02,483 --> 00:49:07,283
Be present and enjoy the day and truly not
have to think is like my number one goal.
:
00:49:07,496 --> 00:49:08,426
-:I love it.
:
00:49:08,426 --> 00:49:08,996
I love it.
:
00:49:08,996 --> 00:49:10,046
That is so helpful.
:
00:49:10,046 --> 00:49:13,046
You've been so helpful
today in this conversation.
:
00:49:13,046 --> 00:49:13,976
Thank you for giving us just.
:
00:49:14,501 --> 00:49:20,081
The insider opinion and the inside
scoop on how the wedding world really
:
00:49:20,081 --> 00:49:23,081
works and all the advice that you
gave brides to be, I'm sure they're
:
00:49:23,081 --> 00:49:24,761
walking away with a lot of notes.
:
00:49:25,121 --> 00:49:28,481
Um, where can they find more
of you or work with you?
:
00:49:28,871 --> 00:49:29,766
How can we get in touch?
:
00:49:30,066 --> 00:49:30,306
-::
00:49:30,546 --> 00:49:30,906
Yeah.
:
00:49:30,906 --> 00:49:37,326
So all things for, for Cana Wedding Co are
literally all like, Instagram is at cana
:
00:49:37,326 --> 00:49:40,896
wedding co website is cana wedding co.com.
:
00:49:41,106 --> 00:49:42,456
Um, all that good stuff.
:
00:49:42,456 --> 00:49:47,286
So feel free to send us inquiry
messages through our website.
:
00:49:47,496 --> 00:49:48,996
Um, like I was saying, we do like.
:
00:49:49,336 --> 00:49:53,086
Full planning, partial planning,
coordination, and we do consults as well
:
00:49:53,086 --> 00:49:56,506
for anybody, um, who like isn't local.
:
00:49:56,686 --> 00:49:59,836
Um, we do travel weddings
occasionally as well.
:
00:49:59,966 --> 00:50:04,016
, So feel free to send like any thoughts,
questions my way and I'm always happy
:
00:50:04,016 --> 00:50:07,376
to direct you to the right place
and, and be of any help that we can.
:
00:50:07,566 --> 00:50:09,996
, And feel free to send, send
dms and all the things.
:
00:50:09,996 --> 00:50:12,166
But , yeah, , that's, where we are.
:
00:50:12,853 --> 00:50:13,183
-::
00:50:13,183 --> 00:50:13,903
Well, thank you so much.
:
00:50:13,903 --> 00:50:16,513
We'll make sure to drop all that
information down in the show notes
:
00:50:16,813 --> 00:50:20,263
so you guys can get in touch with
Avery or just learn more as you're
:
00:50:20,383 --> 00:50:22,603
getting ready to plan your wedding
and know that we'll be praying for
:
00:50:22,603 --> 00:50:24,403
you and cheering you on from afar.
:
00:50:24,403 --> 00:50:28,933
Marriage is just so beautiful and this
time is so, so special, so praying
:
00:50:28,933 --> 00:50:30,463
for all you brides to be out there.
:
00:50:30,823 --> 00:50:32,563
Thank you, Avery, for joining us today.
:
00:50:32,563 --> 00:50:33,703
Such a fun conversation.
:
00:50:33,703 --> 00:50:34,728
So good having you on the podcast.
:
00:50:35,028 --> 00:50:35,328
-::
00:50:35,328 --> 00:50:36,408
Thank you so much.
