3: My Testimony: How I Found My Faith & Gave My Life To Christ

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Welcome, welcome back

to the ever be podcast.

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This is episode three now and.

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Okay, start over, start over.

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Welcome back everybody, happy Wednesday.

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I'm so excited to have

everybody here again.

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No, no, no, no.

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Welcome back everybody, happy Wednesday.

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We are kicking it off again with

another episode here at Everbee.

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Welcome back everybody, happy Wednesday.

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We are here with another episode at Ever

Be and today is going to be a good one.

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Today I'm going to be sharing

my testimony, my story.

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How I came to know the Lord and

deepen my relationship with him.

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And I'm excited to share this one because

it's like the biggest story of my life.

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Pretty much the story of how the Lord

has captured my heart and, convicted

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me to give my entire life to him.

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So I'm excited to share it today.

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I'm excited to share this

part of my life with you.

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And can I just say, I just, I just love

that we're doing this, this whole podcast.

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I love that I'm recording this right

now, because if you haven't heard

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episode one, I basically go into the

reason why I wanted to start this

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podcast was literally so we could go

deep and so that we can have like the

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raw, good, meaningful conversations.

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And I realized as I was like preparing

for this episode, that there's so much

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of my story that I haven't shared yet.

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And not because I haven't wanted

to, or because it's not meaningful,

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but just because there's just

like these little details that.

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I don't know.

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Like, I just don't really make

sense in a feed post or in a reel

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and only really makes sense if you

tell the whole context of the story.

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So a lot of this really is like

never before shared and I'm just

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excited to, to bring it all to the

light and to just share with you how

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amazing the Lord has been in my life.

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So let's start in the beginning.

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I was born and raised Catholic.

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My family is from Colombia, South America.

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And I would say at least back then

when I was born and maybe still now,

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I don't know, times have changed,

but at least when I was born, like a

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lot of Latin American countries and

like probably the majority of the

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population in Latin American countries

were Catholic or are Catholic.

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And so my family is Catholic.

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And I, like I said, was

born and raised Catholic.

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And what I came to realize looking back

now is that I was raised more in like a

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culturally Catholic setting, not really

like a practicing Catholic setting.

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So what that looked like practically was

like I knew who God was and like every

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good Catholic grandma and mom, my, my mom

and my grandma taught me to love Mary.

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So I knew about that.

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And we went to church sometimes,

although it wasn't every Sunday.

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But I grew up knowing what the faith was.

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I grew up knowing who the Lord

was and that he was my father.

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Um, but other than that.

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It, there wasn't much depth to it.

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Um, I didn't really have

like a personal relationship.

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Like God was more of like a, like a

distant grandfather that like looked

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upon me, you know, but it wasn't really

like an active player in my life.

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And really faith to me felt more

of like, kind of like a fairy

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tale, kind of like a fable story.

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Like one of those things that you

just like heard a lot growing up,

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but wasn't really like Um, I remember

my grandma, she would always play

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out the creation story for us.

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These memories are so vivid to me, um,

of me being like, I don't know, like

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between the ages of like five and eight,

probably where my grandma would come visit

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us from Colombia and stay with us for

a few weeks or like a month at a time.

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And she'd open the Bible and

it was always chapter one.

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It was always Genesis chapter one, like

the creation story in the beginning.

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Right.

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And.

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She would go to the bat, she

would like hide us in the

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bathroom and turn the lights off.

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And she would open the Bible and start

reading, I think maybe from memory or I

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don't remember if she had a flashlight

or something like that, you know, but she

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would start in the beginning, you know,

it was dark and then, and then there

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were stars and then there was, you know,

the moon and the sun and she would have

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these little flashlights to like emulate

the stars and then she would, you know,

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turn on the light or start opening the

door to show like the brightness of the

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sun and the moon that was shining in.

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And she made that one creation story

so vivid and so captivating for me.

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And so that's a memory I have.

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When I was little, but all in all, it

kind of made the faith, like I said,

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like a story, like a fable, like a

fantasy story that you just hear growing

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up, that's kind of like, Oh, wow.

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Like captivating, but

like, that's not real.

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You know what I mean?

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But even so, I always had an interest

in my faith and those little moments

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that I had when I was little with my

grandma and with my mom talking to me

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about, you know, God and Mary, those

stuck with me and I always had a love

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for my faith and an interest in my faith.

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And growing up, I went to youth group.

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I, did some retreats in

middle school and high school.

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So I would.

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Say I was probably more involved

than maybe like the average kid.

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Um, not all my friends were as involved

in church as I was, but like I said, there

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still wasn't like that personal component

of my relationship with the Lord.

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Like it was still kind of like an

extracurricular that I was like proud to

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have in my life, but it wasn't something

that I felt like I owned and I knew

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Why or what I was doing really, and

even though I was involved in all these

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kind of like youth group type stuff,

it wasn't something that really, like,

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faith wasn't necessarily something like

defined my life or my family's life.

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We didn't really live out our faith,

besides going to mass on Sunday.

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And even then we didn't always

go to mass every Sunday.

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Being in Seattle, there's like.

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Way more cloudy days than not.

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And so when the sun came out,

sometimes we were like, Oh

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yeah, like let's go on a hike.

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Like, let's go to the park and it's fine.

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Like God will understand, you know,

and we would like skip mass one day.

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Cause it was like a really nice day

out and we just wanted to be outside

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or maybe a new movie would come out

and we were like, Oh yeah, like we

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didn't make it to mass this morning.

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Like that's okay.

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We're going to go to the movies and

well, I guess we missed evening mass too.

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So, you know, we would just kind of

be on the back burner and it was just

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kind of something that like, we grew

up identifying as Catholic, Yeah.

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But it wasn't what defined us

and it wasn't like a practice

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that our family actually had.

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And so sometimes I look back and I

wonder like, how did I stay Catholic?

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Or like, how did I keep an interest

throughout middle school and high school

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when it wasn't that big of a deal for

my family or when it wasn't really

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like a huge part of our family life?

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And as I was reflecting, I see

the way the Lord allowed little

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moments of encounter in my life

that increased my faith and that

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kept me close to him in some way.

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For example, my first interaction,

with Eucharist was on a retreat.

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In eighth grade, I think at that

point I had only been on like some

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local mission trips and I didn't

really know what a retreat was.

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And so when I signed up for this

retreat, I remember going and being

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confused pretty much the whole weekend

as to like, why we weren't like pulling

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weeds or like painting someone's house

or like doing community service work.

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Because that's all I'd

ever done on mission trips.

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And I came to find out that a retreat

is really more of like a prayerful time

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of reflection, which you might already

know that, but eighth grade Mari did not.

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And so they had an adoration night

one night and they told us about

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how we were going to have a time

of prayer, a time of silence.

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And we did like a whole rosary

around the campus and then ended

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in like the main stage area.

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And they had Jesus

exposed in the Eucharist.

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All the middle schoolers were sitting down

on the ground and they had worship music

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going on and the lights were dimmed and

there was candles and stuff like that.

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And I remember the ambience was like

really peaceful and really beautiful.

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And I felt like this draw to Jesus

in the Eucharist and this awe and

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truly this like adoration in my heart.

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It's like my soul knew,

which obviously it did.

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It's like my soul knew like

the King was before me.

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But yeah, I wasn't really sure like

what the gravity of that really meant.

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I just knew it was holy and it was good.

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And the priest started processing

Jesus around the aisles to the

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different students and he would stop

in front of, , each kid and allow

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them to have a moment with Jesus in

the Eucharist right in front of them.

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And I'd never seen that before.

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I don't, Even know if I had been to

adoration before, like at my parish.

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So this was a pretty powerful, like

first experience of adoration in general.

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And I remember feeling this anticipation

and like this nervousness as the

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priest was getting closer to me.

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Cause I was like, Oh my gosh,

like, what am I supposed to do?

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Like, what's, what's about to happen?

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Like, who is this?

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You know?

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And the priest is coming by in

front of every student, every kid.

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And he comes in front of me and he

raises the monstrance above my face and

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I remember this vividly, like in my head,

I remember, um, the room getting dark.

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Like, I remember like, it seems

like my surroundings just like

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dimmed and like this glow just

like came from the Eucharist.

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Now it wasn't anything

like supernaturally crazy.

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Like maybe it was the spotlight.

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If there was one on Jesus, I don't

know, but like the room went dark and

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there was just a glow around our Lord

in the Eucharist, in the monstrance.

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And I.

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My, my breath was taken away and I

remember like I looked at him and I

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knew that was the Lord and I remember I

took the humorous veil, like that fabric

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that the priest wears on around him,

that he uses to grab the monstrance.

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We were able to touch that and kiss it.

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And I remember I grabbed it and kissed

it and almost felt like I had to look

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away from Jesus because I just knew he

was the Lord and I just felt unworthy.

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And I just, you know, I looked at him

for a second and then I bowed my head

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and kissed the veil and, and then the

priest moved on to the next person.

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And that was a very

powerful moment for me.

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And I wouldn't say that

that like changed my life.

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Like it wasn't like the next day I was

like mother Teresa, like not at all, but

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it left a lasting impression in my heart.

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And it made the Lord made sure that

I knew That his body and blood were

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truly present in the Eucharist.

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And I never doubted that

for the rest of my life.

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I, I never had a moment where I

wondered, is this just a symbol?

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Like I just knew from that

moment that that was him.

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Later down the road, a few years

later, I got the opportunity to

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go to a Steubenville conference,

which are really popular now.

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It's kind of like a SEEK, I think for

like middle school and high school again,

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or maybe it's just for high school.

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I can't remember.

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I think I went, I think

I went in high school.

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But I was able to have Another encounter

like that, with adoration and in

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this beautiful setting with all these

young kids and music, and just kind

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of having that powerful experience,

in front of the Lord and adoration.

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And at that same conference, you

know, I started hearing these speakers

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that I had never heard before.

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I heard Jason Everett and, maybe even

Sarah Swofford, or I can't remember who

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else, who else was there, but that was

the first time that I really heard these

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messages of like hope and joy and virtue

and chastity and faith and how to do

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these things in the everyday life and how,

your faith should be a part of your life.

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I had never heard messages like these

before, because again, it wasn't something

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that was really talked about in my house

and it wasn't really something that

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was present in my community either.

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And I'm grateful for my parents for

encouraging me to go on these things

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and for sending me on these things, even

though I know now where they were at

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in their faith at that time, and they

weren't very strong in their faith.

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They didn't really know

anything about their faith.

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They just kind of did things because

that's what you do as a Catholic.

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And you had to do like this.

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Check the boxes, you know, but they

weren't really catechized or didn't

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really have a relationship with Jesus.

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And it wasn't really until my mom went

through her own reversion, kind of like

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mid to later high school years for me,

that our whole family started coming

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back to the church and started changing.

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And it was a really beautiful process.

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And when all that started happening, I

kind of started to realize like, wow,

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like my family is kind of different.

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Like, there's not a lot of people around

me who are really practicing Catholics.

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And my family's like kind of

starting to get into this and

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going to church a lot more.

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Like all of a sudden my mom's like,

we were never skipping a Sunday mass.

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Like, you know, we complained, we were

like, Oh my gosh, mom, this sucks.

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But she was very firm on that.

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And so grateful she was.

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And, you know, my family started to come

back and, , it was All these things were

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happening at home, but then I would go

to school and I didn't really have people

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at school who were on a similar journey.

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And actually my closest group

of friends ended up being like a

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group of Mormon kids from school

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because they lived such a good life,

they were such good people and they

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motivated me to learn more about my faith.

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And to kind of question, like,

okay, like, why do we do what we do?

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How can I stand up for my faith?

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Cause they would ask a lot of

questions, like as Catholics,

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like, why do you do this?

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Or why do you believe this?

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Or why not this?

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You know, and not in a bad way.

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Like they were never trying to, you

know, sway me or, um, debunk my faith,

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but they were asking questions and they

were very knowledgeable about their faith

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for the age that we were at being like,

Sophomores and juniors in high school.

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Like they knew everything

about their faith and I knew

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pretty much close to nothing.

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I felt like and sadly I think that's

the case for a lot of Catholics,

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especially in high school and college.

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You realize like, I actually don't

really know why we do what we do.

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And so I hope that this podcast can

maybe shed some light if we ever get

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into like theology and stuff like that.

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But anyways, I don't

want to get sidetracked.

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Basically, these Mormon friends became

my really good friends and they were

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the first people that really showed

me what it looked like to live a

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Christ centered life and what it

looked like to live a moral life.

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Because the thing is, most of my

school I felt like was Christian,

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um, like a lot of the kids that

I was friends with at my school.

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We're non denominational Christian,

and this is like no hate to non

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denominational Christians at all.

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I've met some really amazing Christian

women, um, but unfortunately these

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group of people at my school were

kind of living a double life.

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Like they didn't really

live a good Christian life.

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These kids at my school that were

all Christian were also the ones

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that were sleeping around with

people or partying and getting

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drunk all the time or getting high.

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And so I had a hard time finding like a

real solid group of people because I only

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had the one girlfriend who was Catholic

and we were getting really close, but

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then I also wanted to be friends with

these other like cool Christian people.

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But then I was like, I have felt

some resistance in my heart.

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Cause I was like, well, like this

isn't actually very Christian.

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And then I had the Mormons

who were like amazing people.

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Plus they were so much fun.

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And so I just guess I naturally

gravitated towards them.

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And actually my first serious

dating relationship was with

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one of the guys in that group.

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And he, along with the girls that I

was friends with and the other guys

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in that group, like all kind of showed

me what it was like to have standards.

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Like they always talked about that.

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They always talked about like, you

know, living a good life and having

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good standards in your life and.

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Living up to what the

Lord like made you for.

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And the thing is like, I know

now like truth is captivating

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and that was attractive to me.

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Like the way they talked about

living a good Christian life

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actually was attractive and they

looked happy and fun and cool.

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And I was like, okay, like

I want to be like you.

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And so they made me desire

that good moral life.

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They made me desire my Christian faith

more and they made me really want to dive

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into my Catholic teaching so that I could.

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You know, at least stand up for

my faith and be like, well, as

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Catholics, like we do this and this

is why, you know, I wanted to be

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confident about why I was Catholic.

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So this friend group was actually a great

blessing that the Lord gave me in my life,

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because if it wasn't for this guy that

I dated and the other girls who I became

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close with in this group, I probably

would have partied a lot in high school.

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I probably would have drank

a lot earlier than I did.

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Probably would have lost my

virginity before I was married.

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: 00:15:31

And my life would just have looked a lot

different, starting from high school.

294

: 00:15:35

And I don't even want to know what

college would have been like if I

295

: 00:15:37

had started high school out that way.

296

: 00:15:39

So I'm really grateful for that.

297

: 00:15:40

And I remember all through high school

and college, just kind of having that

298

: 00:15:44

divide in my heart, kind of like I was

talking about before where like, I wanted

299

: 00:15:47

to be friends with these people, but

in my heart I felt like a resistance

300

: 00:15:50

and I felt like there was a divide.

301

: 00:15:52

Like I wanted to be in the party scene.

302

: 00:15:55

And I'm just like, naturally a student.

303

: 00:15:56

Social like butterfly.

304

: 00:15:58

I'm an extrovert.

305

: 00:15:59

I love making friends.

306

: 00:16:00

I'm always like more of the merrier.

307

: 00:16:02

So I like wanted to be

where the people were.

308

: 00:16:05

I wanted to be in the party scene and I

was always looking for validation in boys.

309

: 00:16:08

I mean, I had like eight boyfriends

in high school, um, which is a lot,

310

: 00:16:14

also part of my heart, like knew

that Jesus didn't make me for that.

311

: 00:16:20

You know, I knew in my heart, like the

Lord didn't make me to live that way.

312

: 00:16:26

and that that wasn't like a full life.

313

: 00:16:29

So by like senior year in high school,

when you're starting to apply to colleges

314

: 00:16:32

and stuff like that, I knew that I

wanted to go to a Catholic school so

315

: 00:16:36

that I could find that same sort of

community that I had with the Mormon

316

: 00:16:39

people in high school, but with Catholic

people and that I could finally be on

317

: 00:16:44

a path to live life and pursue Christ

with other young Catholic people.

318

: 00:16:49

And so I chose to go to a Catholic

school in Washington state in

319

: 00:16:54

search for that Catholic community.

320

: 00:16:56

And oddly enough, sadly enough,

there wasn't really a strong

321

: 00:17:00

Catholic community on that campus.

322

: 00:17:01

And a lot of the ministry that

was offered was again, like non

323

: 00:17:06

denominational Christian type stuff.

324

: 00:17:08

And a lot of the retreats

they offer, they didn't really

325

: 00:17:11

even have mass or, adoration.

326

: 00:17:13

Adoration was maybe offered once a month.

327

: 00:17:16

I don't even want to say

it was offered that way.

328

: 00:17:18

That often, it was maybe like once or

twice a semester, at least that I knew

329

: 00:17:22

of, and there was daily mass, but at that

point in my life, I wasn't really at a

330

: 00:17:26

point where I was going to daily mass.

331

: 00:17:28

And one time I think I tried to

go and there was literally like

332

: 00:17:30

five people at daily mass and I

was like, uh, I'm not coming back.

333

: 00:17:35

And then the people that were going

to church every Sunday, because there

334

: 00:17:37

were a lot of students that went every

Sunday, like hundreds of students that

335

: 00:17:40

went every Sunday, they were the same

people who were partying and getting

336

: 00:17:44

blacked out drunk the nights before,

Friday and Saturday that weekend.

337

: 00:17:47

And so I did it with them, you know, I

tried to go with the crowd and tried to

338

: 00:17:52

keep my faith and kind of tried to walk

this double life, tried to walk this

339

: 00:17:57

very fine line of, no, I am that Catholic

girl, but I'm also with everybody else

340

: 00:18:02

because this is what you do in college.

341

: 00:18:04

And this is my time to be free and

make friends and live a full life.

342

: 00:18:08

And, like I said, I'm an extrovert

and I just like have always had like a

343

: 00:18:12

zeal for life and a passion for life and

I didn't want me pursuing my faith to

344

: 00:18:17

extinguish that zeal that I had for life.

345

: 00:18:19

And I know now that

that's obviously not true.

346

: 00:18:22

And I know that.

347

: 00:18:24

True zeal and true fullness of life

and true joy is found in Christ.

348

: 00:18:28

But at the time I thought

you had to pick one.

349

: 00:18:30

I didn't know that a life with

Christ could be so wonderful

350

: 00:18:33

and exciting and beautiful.

351

: 00:18:35

And unfortunately, um, it took a

really like rock bottom moment, the

352

: 00:18:39

first semester of my sophomore year,

where I just had a really bad night

353

: 00:18:43

out and my best friend sat me down

in the kitchen and she was like, Hey.

354

: 00:18:50

Do you want to talk about last night?

355

: 00:18:51

And, , I thought we were going to debrief

all the details of the night before,

356

: 00:18:56

like we usually did on Saturday mornings.

357

: 00:18:58

And she was like, no, I like, I

want to make sure you're okay.

358

: 00:19:02

Like, are you okay?

359

: 00:19:03

Like after everything that happened

last night, like, are you okay?

360

: 00:19:07

And I was surprised by her question

because I was very confident in who I was.

361

: 00:19:12

And I was never someone who was like,

Trying to be like fake or, you know, I

362

: 00:19:16

wasn't trying to live a double life and

I always tried to owned up to my action.

363

: 00:19:19

So I knew everything that I was doing.

364

: 00:19:22

And I told her that I was like, you know,

I don't do anything I don't want to do.

365

: 00:19:24

Like, I'm totally fine.

366

: 00:19:26

Like I totally own up to everything I did.

367

: 00:19:28

And it was just another crazy weekend.

368

: 00:19:29

And like, yeah, like it was

a little bit, you know, worse

369

: 00:19:31

than normal, but like, I'm fine.

370

: 00:19:33

Like everything's fine.

371

: 00:19:36

And.

372

: 00:19:37

In that moment, the Lord, I think,

allowed the Holy Spirit to open

373

: 00:19:41

my eyes to the severity of the

statement that I was making.

374

: 00:19:45

I think in that moment, the Lord

allowed me to hear myself say these

375

: 00:19:49

words and to realize just how distant

I must have gotten from my faith and

376

: 00:19:55

from that like moral line that I once

wanted to live, that I didn't even

377

: 00:19:58

realize the way that I was living.

378

: 00:20:02

And I realized how not okay I

must have been if I was truly okay

379

: 00:20:06

with the way that I was living.

380

: 00:20:07

And I'm so grateful that my friend asked

me that, and I'm so grateful that the

381

: 00:20:10

Lord allowed me to have that moment

to have that wake up moment because

382

: 00:20:15

the next day I went to confession for

the first time in a really long time.

383

: 00:20:20

And it was a really good confession.

384

: 00:20:21

It was a confession that I actually

felt true remorse for my sins.

385

: 00:20:25

It wasn't one where I was just

saying like, you know, what my

386

: 00:20:27

sins were, knowing that I was going

to do them all the weekend after.

387

: 00:20:30

No, like I actually truly felt

sorrow for the way that I was

388

: 00:20:33

living and wanted to repent and

wanted To leave that life behind.

389

: 00:20:38

And that was the first time

I really ever felt that way.

390

: 00:20:41

And the priest said something to me

that really struck me that day and stuck

391

: 00:20:43

with me for a long time after that.

392

: 00:20:46

And the Lord must have just put this

on his heart because he didn't know

393

: 00:20:50

much about me, but he said like,

Mari, you want to be married someday.

394

: 00:20:54

Right.

395

: 00:20:55

And I actually remember he said like,

you want to find your Prince charming.

396

: 00:20:58

Right.

397

: 00:20:59

And little did you know, I've

always been a hopeless romantic.

398

: 00:21:02

I love love.

399

: 00:21:03

I loved.

400

: 00:21:04

Princess stories, you know, and the prince

and the prince, when they get married and

401

: 00:21:07

everything, he lives happily ever after.

402

: 00:21:09

Like that was me.

403

: 00:21:10

And I was like, yeah, of course, of

course I want to find my Prince charming.

404

: 00:21:13

Like of course I want

to find a good husband.

405

: 00:21:15

And he said, and you want that man

to be a good Catholic man, right?

406

: 00:21:19

Like that's what you're looking for.

407

: 00:21:21

And I was like, yes, I want a great

Catholic man to be my husband,

408

: 00:21:25

future father of my children.

409

: 00:21:27

Exactly.

410

: 00:21:28

And he said, my daughter, you

need to start being the type of

411

: 00:21:32

woman that that man would want

to marry yeah, that was, ouch.

412

: 00:21:37

That was rough.

413

: 00:21:39

I remember hearing that and just

being like, whoa, like low key, you're

414

: 00:21:44

kind of saying I'm a bad person.

415

: 00:21:46

Um, Loki, he was kind of calling

me out and I needed that.

416

: 00:21:51

Honestly, I needed that.

417

: 00:21:52

And it struck my heart and

like I said, it stuck with me

418

: 00:21:55

for a while and he was right.

419

: 00:21:57

He was right because I was expecting

some good Catholic man to see me drunk

420

: 00:22:02

at a party And want to pursue me like

that doesn't make any sense actually.

421

: 00:22:08

And so I realized that I first needed

to change and that I needed to work

422

: 00:22:12

on my relationship with the Lord and

rediscover like who he made me to be and,

423

: 00:22:18

and what kind of life he wanted for me

so that once I had my identity firmly

424

: 00:22:23

rooted in Christ, then I would actually

be available to meet a good Catholic man

425

: 00:22:29

that would continue to lead me to Christ.

426

: 00:22:31

And so in that moment, I.

427

: 00:22:33

Swore off boys and I decided that I

was going to go into a period of my

428

: 00:22:36

life where I was truly going to focus

on my relationship with the Lord, pour

429

: 00:22:41

into my friendships and just kind of

like ignore boys, just like not date

430

: 00:22:45

anybody, not pursue anybody, not be in

any sort of relationship or whatever.

431

: 00:22:49

And what was crazy, I didn't

really tell anybody this.

432

: 00:22:52

Um, I told my friends, but I didn't

really tell my parents or my family.

433

: 00:22:56

And around the same time, literally just

a few days or like a week after that

434

: 00:23:00

confession and a week after I made that

decision, my dad sent me a care package.

435

: 00:23:06

Maybe it was both my mom and my dad,

436

: 00:23:07

like they sent me a care package to

school and in it was a book called

437

: 00:23:13

Written by Jason Everett called how to

find your soulmate without losing your

438

: 00:23:16

soul I don't know if maybe they knew

what was going on or not, but it was

439

: 00:23:20

very timely that that book ended up in

my hands And I started reading it and I

440

: 00:23:27

couldn't put it down because I had never

heard that This concept of chastity and

441

: 00:23:33

purity be presented so beautifully, and

even just like the meaning of a single

442

: 00:23:38

kiss with, which at that point didn't

really mean much to me, like, was so

443

: 00:23:43

beautiful and to be respected and.

444

: 00:23:47

It was just not something I

had really experienced at this

445

: 00:23:49

point in my relationships,

446

: 00:23:50

but it captured my heart and

it was so attractive to me.

447

: 00:23:54

And I started reading through

this book and they listed out

448

: 00:23:57

kind of like all the red flags or

all the like wrong guys to avoid.

449

: 00:24:01

And I was like, wow, I

literally could name.

450

: 00:24:04

a guy for every single one of those

chapters that I've met or had a

451

: 00:24:07

relationship in some way or whatever.

452

: 00:24:09

And I was like, I need to get it together.

453

: 00:24:12

That book was a blessing to me because

it totally shifted my mindset on purpose

454

: 00:24:17

of dating and how to prepare for marriage

and how to become the godly woman that

455

: 00:24:22

a wonderful Christian man, wonderful

Catholic man would want to marry.

456

: 00:24:26

And so I started intentionally praying

for my future husband every single

457

: 00:24:30

night, and I had a notes in my phone

and I wrote down in the notes, like

458

: 00:24:34

the top characteristics, both like

personality traits and physical traits

459

: 00:24:39

that I wanted in my future husband.

460

: 00:24:42

And I would pray with it every single

night and just ask the Lord, like,

461

: 00:24:45

Lord, I pray for this future man that

you have for me and all these things.

462

: 00:24:49

I pray that he would

be like this and this.

463

: 00:24:51

And I pray that, you know, I

Whatever it was that he's strong

464

: 00:24:53

in his faith and all these things.

465

: 00:24:55

And I began to pray for

him every single night.

466

: 00:24:56

And if you haven't heard episode two

yet, where I talk about my relationship

467

: 00:25:00

with Trey, my story with Trey, then

you literally need to go hear that

468

: 00:25:04

because it ties in back into this

phone note that I had with all the

469

: 00:25:08

characteristics of my future husband.

470

: 00:25:10

It's so, so crazy.

471

: 00:25:12

How the Lord answered that

prayer so specifically.

472

: 00:25:14

And so from then on, I started to sort of

listen to that side of my heart that was

473

: 00:25:18

nudging me towards good, that was nudging

me towards a Christ centered life, a moral

474

: 00:25:23

life to keep good standards in my life

and truly know, I know now it was the

475

: 00:25:29

Holy Spirit just whispering, you know,

that the Lord has bigger plans for you.

476

: 00:25:33

The Lord loves you.

477

: 00:25:33

The Lord made you for

so much more than this.

478

: 00:25:36

the Lord made you for an abundant

life, which in the end is all

479

: 00:25:39

I was really seeking was just

like this joyful, full life.

480

: 00:25:43

And it all culminated in this moment of

er at mass, um, in January of: 2018

481

: 00:25:50

So this whole like rock bottom moment,

starting to have a change of heart

482

: 00:25:53

happened in the fall of my sophomore year.

483

: 00:25:55

And then second semester sophomore year

in January, while we were on break, it

484

: 00:25:59

was January 1st, like new year's mass.

485

: 00:26:02

I went to mass and I received communion

and I knelt down in the pew and I prayed.

486

: 00:26:08

I don't really know why this prayer

came from my heart, but it sort of just

487

: 00:26:11

like surged from my heart, this prayer

of surrender of my life to the Lord.

488

: 00:26:15

And I remember praying there.

489

: 00:26:16

I remember closing my eyes and like

opening my hands in the pew and just being

490

: 00:26:20

like, Lord, I surrender my life to you.

491

: 00:26:25

I know you have made me for more

than what I am living right now.

492

: 00:26:28

I know that you have given me

great gifts to be a leader.

493

: 00:26:32

I know that you've given me like

a heart for you and to share you.

494

: 00:26:36

And I'm not using these gifts.

495

: 00:26:38

I'm not living this way right now.

496

: 00:26:41

Please use me.

497

: 00:26:43

And I prayed that like, Lord, please

use me in whatever way you want.

498

: 00:26:46

And I will do anything you asked me to.

499

: 00:26:49

Oh my gosh, you guys, that is

a dangerous prayer to pray.

500

: 00:26:53

If you are not ready to actually

follow through on that commitment

501

: 00:26:57

because the Lord takes you up on that.

502

: 00:26:59

And he took me up on that.

503

: 00:27:00

I remember praying like, Lord, if

I have to change my friends and

504

: 00:27:04

drop my friends, I will do that.

505

: 00:27:05

If I have to drop schools and move

across the country, if that's what

506

: 00:27:09

you want me to do, I'll do it.

507

: 00:27:10

If I have to get up and speak in front

of a million people, I will do that.

508

: 00:27:16

I don't really know why I said those

specific things, but looking at my life

509

: 00:27:20

now, that's kind of what I'm doing.

510

: 00:27:23

I moved away from where I was living

to be in a more Catholic community.

511

: 00:27:28

I have this platform speaking

to thousands of people about the

512

: 00:27:31

Lord and Christ centered living.

513

: 00:27:32

So.

514

: 00:27:33

When I say be careful when you pray

for those things, I mean it because

515

: 00:27:37

the Lord will take you up on that.

516

: 00:27:39

Nothing brings more joy to the Lord than

a soul that surrenders their life to

517

: 00:27:44

him, opens their hands and says, use me

as an instrument to bring people to you.

518

: 00:27:49

I mean, it is just, it's a gift.

519

: 00:27:51

And he did that.

520

: 00:27:52

And so after that prayer, all of

a sudden, I started hearing about

521

: 00:27:56

this organization called focus.

522

: 00:27:58

I'd never heard of focus before.

523

: 00:28:00

And after that day, all of a sudden,

so many people in my life just would

524

: 00:28:03

randomly bring up focus and they

had never brought it up before.

525

: 00:28:06

And these were people who I saw often

and they were just like, Oh yeah.

526

: 00:28:09

Like I just like went to this like

focus conference or like, Oh yeah.

527

: 00:28:13

Have you heard of this focus

thing that's going on on different

528

: 00:28:15

college campuses or like whatever.

529

: 00:28:17

Like it just kept.

530

: 00:28:18

Getting brought up over and over again.

531

: 00:28:21

And so I felt like I had

to look into it and I did.

532

: 00:28:23

I went home and I Googled like,

focus, you know, fellowship of

533

: 00:28:26

Catholic university students.

534

: 00:28:28

What is this?

535

: 00:28:29

And I learned about the ministry

that they did and how they brought

536

: 00:28:32

missionaries to college campuses

to make a more vibrant Catholic

537

: 00:28:35

community and to build up disciples.

538

: 00:28:36

And I was like, this is it.

539

: 00:28:38

Like, this is what I need to do.

540

: 00:28:40

I need to be a missionary.

541

: 00:28:42

I didn't really know

what that actually meant.

542

: 00:28:44

I didn't know that that was

like a job after you graduated.

543

: 00:28:47

So as a sophomore in college, I

literally applied to be a missionary.

544

: 00:28:50

And I remember there's like a couple

of questions, like, are you ready

545

: 00:28:53

to move to a different state or are

you ready to commit for two years?

546

: 00:28:56

And I didn't check those boxes.

547

: 00:28:58

Cause I was like, well, I'm a student.

548

: 00:29:02

I don't really know how that's

supposed to work, but get back to

549

: 00:29:04

me and we'll figure something out.

550

: 00:29:06

And I just, I just had this desire to

serve and I had this love for the Lord

551

: 00:29:10

and I had this love for his people and

for bringing him to his people that just

552

: 00:29:15

like started to grow and grow and grow.

553

: 00:29:17

And so I came back to campus after

break with this idea of focus of wanting

554

: 00:29:23

to bring them to my campus and start

Bible studies and bring missionaries

555

: 00:29:27

and have this vibrant community that

I wish that I had when I got there so

556

: 00:29:32

that all these other students that were

coming for the same reason wouldn't

557

: 00:29:36

get lost in this, like, you know,

wild degenerate party culture that.

558

: 00:29:40

Pretty much every college campus

has on its campus right now.

559

: 00:29:44

And unfortunately they weren't

able to bring focus on at that

560

: 00:29:46

time, but they did encourage me

to start my own Bible studies.

561

: 00:29:49

And that's where I met Trey.

562

: 00:29:51

We met because we both wanted

to start Bible studies together.

563

: 00:29:53

And again, all that, all those

details are in episode two.

564

: 00:29:57

So go and listen to that

to get the full scoop.

565

: 00:29:59

But basically we started leading

these Bible studies together and we

566

: 00:30:01

started pursuing Christ together.

567

: 00:30:03

And even though we were really diving

into our faith, I was still sort of

568

: 00:30:07

had like one foot kind of in like the

party culture and most of my body, I

569

: 00:30:11

think, in the Christ centered world.

570

: 00:30:13

But I was still kind of like,

Oh, I'm not fully ready to

571

: 00:30:15

let go of all this stuff yet.

572

: 00:30:16

Cause that's the way my

friends were living too.

573

: 00:30:18

And that's like what we did.

574

: 00:30:20

Until I got an internship with

Focus, I think this was probably

575

: 00:30:23

the first or second year that

they even offered internships.

576

: 00:30:26

And I moved to Colorado for the summer

and that summer changed my entire life.

577

: 00:30:32

That summer changed my entire life

because for the first time I met

578

: 00:30:36

other women my age who were on fire

for their faith and who actually were

579

: 00:30:41

striving to live a Christ centered life.

580

: 00:30:44

And they modeled for me what that looked

like and they taught me how to pray and

581

: 00:30:49

they walked with me as I tried to figure

out how to let go of these sins that I

582

: 00:30:54

had and actually I remember having a lot

of conversations with them where they

583

: 00:30:58

would kind of tell me about how like,

yeah, like we don't do these things with

584

: 00:31:01

our boyfriends or like, no, we don't

get drunk or like, 21 and I remember

585

: 00:31:07

thinking like, yeah, Oh, I'm so going

to crack them by the end of this summer.

586

: 00:31:11

Like they're so faking it.

587

: 00:31:13

Like they just did that to get this job.

588

: 00:31:15

Like they just say that to get

like the Catholic internship, you

589

: 00:31:19

know, but like, there's no way

they're actually living this way.

590

: 00:31:21

Like everybody parties in college,

everybody like hooks up with people

591

: 00:31:25

in college, like all this stuff.

592

: 00:31:26

Right.

593

: 00:31:26

I didn't believe them.

594

: 00:31:28

And the more I got to know them over the

summer, we became really good friends.

595

: 00:31:31

And the more I got to see

that they were not lying.

596

: 00:31:34

This was not a persona.

597

: 00:31:36

This was That they were putting on.

598

: 00:31:37

This was like actually how they

were striving to live their life.

599

: 00:31:41

And what was so baffling to me was that

they were so cool and normal and fun.

600

: 00:31:45

Like they were like such fun girls that

I totally would have wanted to be friends

601

: 00:31:49

with, even if they weren't Catholic, or

even if we weren't at this internship.

602

: 00:31:52

And so they just lived this attractive

life that I was like, all right.

603

: 00:31:56

Like if you're doing it and you

say it's possible and you're so

604

: 00:32:00

fun and joyful and cool, like.

605

: 00:32:03

I think I have to hop on board.

606

: 00:32:04

Like, I think I have to try.

607

: 00:32:06

And so I took that summer to start

changing my life and to start living a

608

: 00:32:11

more Christ centered life and to let go

of these mortal sins that I was living in.

609

: 00:32:14

And I remember Trey was kind of going

through similar things on his own as well.

610

: 00:32:18

And we had a lot of conversations that

summer of like, okay, what are we going

611

: 00:32:21

to change in our relationship and in

our friendships and the way we live?

612

: 00:32:25

And it was the start of

a whole new life for me.

613

: 00:32:29

And that summer I got to know who Christ

was because for the first time ever, I

614

: 00:32:33

spent an hour in prayer every single day.

615

: 00:32:36

Like that's what you do on these

focus internships besides working.

616

: 00:32:39

Like you have an hour of prayer

and adoration every single day.

617

: 00:32:42

You have mass every single day.

618

: 00:32:44

You pray the rosary every single day.

619

: 00:32:45

I think you also have the

opportunity to pray the divine

620

: 00:32:47

mercy chaplet every single day.

621

: 00:32:49

It's kind of crazy.

622

: 00:32:51

But the thing is, graces are so real.

623

: 00:32:54

You guys, your soul.

624

: 00:32:55

Can't help, but be transformed when

you are in the presence of Christ and

625

: 00:32:59

receiving him and in community with

such amazing people every single day.

626

: 00:33:03

And so that summer was huge for me.

627

: 00:33:06

And right after that summer, I was

going abroad to study abroad in Italy.

628

: 00:33:10

So I wasn't going back to campus and I

was already a little bit nervous about

629

: 00:33:14

going abroad because all my friends

were, science majors and I don't

630

: 00:33:18

know, they weren't able to go abroad.

631

: 00:33:19

So I wasn't really going

abroad with a lot of friends.

632

: 00:33:21

I had like one, maybe two girls that I

knew and that I was friends with abroad.

633

: 00:33:25

so I was already nervous about

not really knowing people, but.

634

: 00:33:27

Looking back, I know now that the Lord

set that up for me to give me the space

635

: 00:33:32

to start living into this like new

life, this like new and renewed Mari

636

: 00:33:38

that I had turned into that summer

and that I had discovered that summer.

637

: 00:33:42

He gave me that space abroad

where I wasn't surrounded by

638

: 00:33:45

the people that knew me well.

639

: 00:33:46

And that like had a certain expectation

of who I was and the way that I lived.

640

: 00:33:50

And it gave me an opportunity

to start fresh and to commit to

641

: 00:33:54

these things that I was all of a

sudden striving for in my life.

642

: 00:33:57

And I remember that it was hard.

643

: 00:33:58

I remember that there were people who like

knew of me and knew who I was and were

644

: 00:34:02

expecting me to like, go out all the time

and party big and all that kind of stuff.

645

: 00:34:06

And, um, I don't know, it was, it was a

little bit of a lonely time, but it was

646

: 00:34:10

also a very, beautiful time of, Intimacy

with the Lord because I didn't have

647

: 00:34:15

a lot of people to turn to and by the

grace of God, I would go to the chapel

648

: 00:34:20

and I would pray like every day and have

649

: 00:34:23

this like prayer routine that

I was building in my life and

650

: 00:34:26

continuing that consistency from

the summer, but on my own now.

651

: 00:34:31

And so before I came back to school

after that semester abroad, I remember

652

: 00:34:36

I texted my friends and we had this

whole conversation cause I was like

653

: 00:34:39

I need to sort of let them know like what

my life looks like now and what they can

654

: 00:34:43

expect when I go back to campus because

I had to tell them like how it was going

655

: 00:34:46

to be and that I wasn't going to get

drunk anymore and that I wouldn't be

656

: 00:34:50

drinking till I was 21 and that I was

going to be spending time praying every

657

: 00:34:55

single day and really focusing on my

faith and my relationship with the Lord.

658

: 00:34:59

And I was nervous to tell them because

There was obviously that possibility that

659

: 00:35:03

they wouldn't like that and that they

wouldn't like this new Mari and that they

660

: 00:35:06

would leave or abandon me or whatever.

661

: 00:35:09

Um, but they didn't and they

are still my best friends today.

662

: 00:35:14

Praise God.

663

: 00:35:15

They totally received me.

664

: 00:35:17

And I'll say that it, was maybe

hard for them to swallow at first.

665

: 00:35:20

They were like, okay, like, are

we still going to like have fun?

666

: 00:35:24

You know?

667

: 00:35:24

And I was like, of course, like,

we're not going to stop being friends.

668

: 00:35:27

And I am not asking you

to change your whole life.

669

: 00:35:30

Although if you want to like join

me, but like, I'm not judging you.

670

: 00:35:33

I'm not asking you to change your life.

671

: 00:35:35

I'm not, you know, imposing any of

my decisions on you, but I'm just

672

: 00:35:38

sharing like where I'm at right now.

673

: 00:35:41

Luckily, they totally

received me and supported me.

674

: 00:35:43

And they're like, your relationship

with God is really important.

675

: 00:35:45

And if that's what you want

to focus on, then like, we're

676

: 00:35:48

going to support you in that.

677

: 00:35:49

And the beautiful thing is slowly, I

did see their hearts change slowly.

678

: 00:35:53

We had so many more conversations

about our faith and we started

679

: 00:35:56

doing Bible study together.

680

: 00:35:58

And my best friend actually

entered into the Catholic church.

681

: 00:36:01

She was baptized and confirmed,

and I am her godmother.

682

: 00:36:06

And it was a beautiful, Season where

my growth was able to open doors for

683

: 00:36:11

my friends as well for them to dive

into their relationship with Jesus.

684

: 00:36:15

And what's crazy, you guys

is that the Lord showed me

685

: 00:36:18

so much grace in this season.

686

: 00:36:21

I look back and I, I truly don't know

how I did it because even now I feel like

687

: 00:36:28

living a good spiritual life and staying

committed to prayer and the sacraments

688

: 00:36:32

like can be really hard to be consistent.

689

: 00:36:35

But back then, I don't know, like

I was given so much grace and so

690

: 00:36:39

much confidence in my decisions.

691

: 00:36:41

I didn't sway on my decisions.

692

: 00:36:43

And for some reason, literally by the

grace of God, I would get up every single

693

: 00:36:47

morning an hour before class to go to

the student chapel that was on campus

694

: 00:36:52

and pray at the chapel for literally 60

minutes every single day before class.

695

: 00:36:57

I would read Saint books.

696

: 00:36:58

So I read St.

697

: 00:36:59

Faustina's Diary and Story of a Soul.

698

: 00:37:01

I read a book about St.

699

: 00:37:03

John Paul II.

700

: 00:37:04

I did a lot of 30 day

scripture challenges.

701

: 00:37:07

So I was constantly reading the Gospels

and doing Lectio Divina and really

702

: 00:37:12

learning what mental prayer was, what

contemplative prayer was, and just having

703

: 00:37:16

like conversations with the Lord where I

felt like for the first time ever, , He

704

: 00:37:20

was listening to me and I could like feel

the movement of his will in my heart.

705

: 00:37:26

And it was a beautiful,

beautiful time of grace and

706

: 00:37:30

I was just like in a remote

spiritual universe somehow.

707

: 00:37:35

Um, and my heart continued to grow

in love for the Lord and continue

708

: 00:37:39

to kind of be set on fire even more

for sharing the gospel with people.

709

: 00:37:44

and for evangelizing and

bringing other people into this

710

: 00:37:47

experience that I had found.

711

: 00:37:49

I just felt like I had hit the jackpot and

that everybody else had to know about it.

712

: 00:37:54

Because the thing is like, like I said,

like I always wanted to live this abundant

713

: 00:37:58

life and I always had this zeal for life.

714

: 00:38:00

And my fear was that if I lived a

Christ centered life, I would lose that.

715

: 00:38:03

But instead what I found was that I

had never been so much more me, so much

716

: 00:38:10

more like Mari than when I found Christ.

717

: 00:38:13

And when I was starting to live this

Christ centered life, I was like,

718

: 00:38:16

wow, like I am so much more joyful.

719

: 00:38:18

I have so much more freedom in my life.

720

: 00:38:20

Like I am so confident in who I

am and I could feel people like.

721

: 00:38:25

Being attracted to me in some way and

just being like, what does she have?

722

: 00:38:28

Like, like what is going on in her life?

723

: 00:38:31

You know, people would question,

like, what is going on with Mari?

724

: 00:38:34

Like, what is going on in her life?

725

: 00:38:36

And the answer really was just the Lord.

726

: 00:38:38

And so I started to follow this

desire that I had to evangelize and

727

: 00:38:41

started to listen to that prompting.

728

: 00:38:43

And I started a few Bible studies

on campus and I started, um, an

729

: 00:38:47

Instagram blog, which at the time

was called West Coast Catholic.

730

: 00:38:50

And I recently switched it to

my name, which is my current

731

: 00:38:53

Instagram blog at mari.

732

: 00:38:55

c.

733

: 00:38:55

wagner.

734

: 00:38:56

And on that blog, I just started

to share what my faith life

735

: 00:38:59

was like as a college student.

736

: 00:39:01

I called it West Coast Catholic because

Like you heard in my story earlier, I

737

: 00:39:05

felt like I was kind of like the only

Catholic person on the West coast.

738

: 00:39:08

And I knew that there had to be other

women out there like me who felt alone,

739

: 00:39:13

but who loved the Lord and just had no

idea how to live a good Christian life.

740

: 00:39:17

And so I stepped out in boldness.

741

: 00:39:19

Again, this was totally the Lord

giving me the grace to do this.

742

: 00:39:22

I don't know why I wasn't like that.

743

: 00:39:24

totally freaking out, but I wasn't.

744

: 00:39:26

And I started this blog and I just

started to share about my faith life.

745

: 00:39:28

And I just started to share about

my prayer and reflections on what I

746

: 00:39:32

thought about my faith and the Lord

and sharing about, um, how I was

747

: 00:39:36

living in chastity and virtue and

inspiring other people to hopefully

748

: 00:39:40

make these decisions in their life.

749

: 00:39:42

And all of this, my blog and me being

a Bible study leader and intentionally

750

: 00:39:47

investing in the girls that were in

my Bible studies and getting coffee

751

: 00:39:49

with them and all these things, this,

like what I know is now called mission

752

: 00:39:53

work was like taking over my life.

753

: 00:39:55

And I was like, Oh my gosh, school is

really getting in the way of all my.

754

: 00:39:59

Bible study planning meetings and

my coffee dates with my girls and my

755

: 00:40:03

blogging and all this kind of stuff.

756

: 00:40:05

And I knew that the Lord was calling

me to continue to live mission.

757

: 00:40:08

I mean, he's calling all of us to

live mission in some way, but he was

758

: 00:40:10

really intentionally calling me to

devote my life to making him known

759

: 00:40:15

and to sharing the gospel with people.

760

: 00:40:16

And so later that senior year of

college, I committed to being a

761

: 00:40:20

focus missionary with focus and I was

placed at UNL in Lincoln, Nebraska,

762

: 00:40:25

and I continue to do that kind of work

and it was beautiful and wonderful.

763

: 00:40:28

And I love those years as a missionary.

764

: 00:40:30

And if I didn't have West Coast

Catholic, our Catholic lifestyle

765

: 00:40:34

business, and if that hadn't grown

so much, I probably would have done

766

: 00:40:36

more years as a focus missionary.

767

: 00:40:38

Trey and I were growing our business

which we also launched in college.

768

: 00:40:41

And that'll have to be

a whole nother episode.

769

: 00:40:43

But it was growing and, you know, we

were just dedicated to helping people

770

: 00:40:46

experience a foretaste of heaven through

the products that we were creating.

771

: 00:40:50

And I was trying to create content

as well, to inspire people, to seek

772

: 00:40:54

Christ, to live a Christ centered life.

773

: 00:40:56

Really in hopes that somebody would

encounter it and finally feel like

774

: 00:41:00

they were known and that they belong

just like I felt that one summer

775

: 00:41:03

where I finally met women like me,

776

: 00:41:05

and that is still my hope and it's still

my goal and my mission with everything

777

: 00:41:08

that I create, I pray for you constantly

778

: 00:41:11

and I pray for the women who were

in the same place that I was.

779

: 00:41:15

And, you know, I pray for the girl

who's 19 and struggling with all these

780

: 00:41:19

questions in her life and wrestling

with what is right and wrong and

781

: 00:41:21

what the Lord is calling her to do.

782

: 00:41:23

And I hope that she finds my content

and is inspired and sees that you can

783

: 00:41:27

live a beautiful Christian life and be

in college and be relatable and fun.

784

: 00:41:31

Or maybe a woman who is 25 and she's

newly married or she's trying to figure

785

: 00:41:35

out adult life in the working world

and trying to figure out how to stay

786

: 00:41:38

strong in her faith in the midst of a

modern world that is so anti Christian.

787

: 00:41:42

Or maybe you're listening and you're in

your thirties and you're a young wife

788

: 00:41:45

and a young mom, and you're wanting to

learn how to bring the Catholic faith

789

: 00:41:49

to life in your home, how to root your

family and your marriage in Christ

790

: 00:41:53

and raise your kids in the faith.

791

: 00:41:55

Whoever you are, know that I'm

praying for you and know that.

792

: 00:41:58

I hope and I pray that my content can help

make you feel seen and known and that you

793

: 00:42:02

belong here and that you're not alone and

that you can change and that a life with

794

: 00:42:06

Christ is so, so beautiful and so worth it

795

: 00:42:09

because it is.

796

: 00:42:10

And I've experienced that every day

since the day that I surrendered

797

: 00:42:14

my life to the Lord and it has

been a continual surrender.

798

: 00:42:17

It's not just a one thing.

799

: 00:42:19

And I continue to

experience highs and lows.

800

: 00:42:22

I look back at my story and I see those

times where there was so much grace that

801

: 00:42:26

covered me and so much grace, um, in the

moments where I was learning to pray and

802

: 00:42:31

learning about my faith and that zeal

that I had and that was such a good and

803

: 00:42:34

beautiful time, but it isn't always like

that there's highs and there's lows.

804

: 00:42:38

And there's times where

prayer is really hard.

805

: 00:42:40

And I questioned the Lord and I

asked him why he's doing the things

806

: 00:42:43

that he's doing in our lives.

807

: 00:42:44

And I have to recenter and, you know,

go back to the saints or go back to

808

: 00:42:48

scripture and remind myself of the truth.

809

: 00:42:51

Um, so know that I am.

810

: 00:42:52

Like right there with you.

811

: 00:42:53

Like, I don't have it figured out.

812

: 00:42:54

I'm still on this journey and I'm still

every day coming to know the Lord's heart

813

: 00:42:58

more and more and learning to surrender

my life more and more and to find more of

814

: 00:43:03

that peace and that joy that he offers to

all of us when we give our life to him.

815

: 00:43:07

So that's my story, you guys.

816

: 00:43:08

Thanks for being here.

817

: 00:43:10

And if you've gotten

this far, props to you.

818

: 00:43:12

We're probably close to an hour.

819

: 00:43:15

Um, but that's my story.

820

: 00:43:16

And truly, to this day, I feel so

humbled and grateful that the Lord

821

: 00:43:20

has given me a place to share it.

822

: 00:43:22

I don't know why the Lord has

called me to share it in such

823

: 00:43:25

big ways and with so many people.

824

: 00:43:27

And it's crazy to know that thousands of

people will hear this, but, you Like I

825

: 00:43:31

said, I pray that it moves your heart.

826

: 00:43:33

I pray that it motivates you, that it

inspires you to change something in your

827

: 00:43:37

life, to maybe listen to that nudge of the

Holy Spirit that you have been feeling in

828

: 00:43:41

your heart or that call that you know the

Lord has been waiting for you to take.

829

: 00:43:44

And I hope most of all that it,

you to get off your phone and

830

: 00:43:50

get off your screen and go to the

chapel and spend time with Jesus.

831

: 00:43:55

That is the biggest thing that I have

learned in my life and through this whole

832

: 00:43:58

process is that prayer is what makes

our relationship with the Lord and it

833

: 00:44:03

is the number one thing that I recommend

that you focus on if you are trying to

834

: 00:44:07

grow in your faith is pray, pray, pray.

835

: 00:44:09

Go to the chapel, go to adoration,

seek the sacraments, spend time with

836

: 00:44:13

Jesus, time in silence, time to allow

him to speak to you in the silence

837

: 00:44:18

of your heart and let him transform

your heart, transform your life.

838

: 00:44:22

I know that if you let him, that if you

open your heart to him, he will do that.

839

: 00:44:27

All right, we need to wrap this up

because it's going to get really

840

: 00:44:29

long, but, um, before we go, can

we just end in a prayer, please?

841

: 00:44:32

Can I just pray for you

right here, right now?

842

: 00:44:35

Let's just pray.

843

: 00:44:35

In the name of the Father,

Son, Holy Spirit, Amen.

844

: 00:44:39

Come Holy Spirit, come fill this

room, come fill the heart of

845

: 00:44:43

your daughter or your son who

is listening to this right now.

846

: 00:44:47

I thank you for the gift of their life

and for the way that you have called them

847

: 00:44:51

to live uh, virtuously, to live joyfully.

848

: 00:44:55

to live in surrender to you and to live

out the plan that you so beautifully

849

: 00:44:59

have crafted for them in their life.

850

: 00:45:01

I pray Lord for any resistance that

they have in their hearts, anything

851

: 00:45:05

that is making them push you away or

anything that is making them nervous

852

: 00:45:10

or scared To approach you lord that

you would just remove that That you

853

: 00:45:14

would show them that you are gentle

that you are good That you are faithful

854

: 00:45:17

and that all you want to do is love and

provide and bless them in their life.

855

: 00:45:22

And I pray lord also for all those who

feel this pain Burning in their heart.

856

: 00:45:26

After hearing this for all those whose

hearts are just set a fire and wanting

857

: 00:45:30

to do similar work, wanting to go out

and do mission and make you know more

858

: 00:45:34

that you would give them the gifts

and the courage to go out and do so.

859

: 00:45:38

And we ask this all through the

intercession of your most Holy mother.

860

: 00:45:41

, we ask Mary that you would

intercede for us and protect us.

861

: 00:45:44

And bring us closer to your son as

we pray hail Mary full of grace.

862

: 00:45:48

The Lord is with thee, blessed

art thou among women and blessed

863

: 00:45:51

is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

864

: 00:45:52

Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us

sinners now and at the hour of our death.

865

: 00:45:57

Amen.

866

: 00:45:57

In the name of the

father, son, Holy spirit.

867

: 00:46:00

Amen.