18: Do's & Don'ts of Hosting | Claire Couche

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Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner, and you're listening to the ever be

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podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

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I'm so excited.

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You're here.

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Whether you're a new listener

or a long time follower, I know

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there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real life conversations

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and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ centered life in today's

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modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to Ever Be.

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mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

Hey, Claire, welcome to ever

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be so happy to have you.

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claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

Thank you so much, Mari, for having me.

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I'm like Everbee's biggest

fan, so honored to be here.

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Thank you so much.

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mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

Thank you.

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You have been such a wonderful friend

and supporter through the process.

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So I'm glad to have you

on as a guest today.

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I'm sure it'll be the first of several

times we have you on the podcast.

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Uh, but today we're going to be

talking about something I know that

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we both love very much and it's

homemaking and hosting especially.

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And I think that this is

sort of a lost opportunity.

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Art, um, or at least I hope it's not

completely lost and I still have hope that

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we can bring it back, but the more and

more I interact with young women, the more

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I'm kind of surprised at how little people

know about how to be a really amazing host

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and how to welcome people into their home.

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And I know that you are so good at this.

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And so that's why I thought let's

bring Claire on let's dive in.

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Um, but before we really get into the

nitty gritty, why don't you tell us a

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little bit about yourself, uh, for all

the people who might not know who you are.

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claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

Yes, I'm Claire Couchy and I

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am a Catholic wife and mother

currently living in Dallas, Texas.

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I studied history and theology before

becoming an oncology nurse, and I

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worked on a bone marrow transplant

floor for a bit before having my son.

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And then I transitioned into

becoming a stay at home mother.

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And during that time is when

I created Finding Philothea.

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And that's a platform where we share the.

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Beauty and truth and joy and mercy

of a life to lived in and for Christ.

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And our patron is St.

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Francis DeSales and something special

about him is that he, um, loved the

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laity and he ministered to the laity

and he taught during a time that

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it wasn't really taught that there

is a universal call to holiness.

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And that just struck my heart.

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He would write letters

to the faithful called.

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and entitled them Philothea.

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So the one who loves God.

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So finding Philothea is all about finding

the one who loves God in ourselves,

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our true self, and then in others too.

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And so I, um, became an etiquette

instructor, a certified etiquette

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instructor two years ago.

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And I love tying that into virtue,

a life of virtue and holiness.

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And it's been so fun to, to learn all

these tips and tricks, but more so to

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grow in, in holiness through loving

others through the art of etiquette.

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mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

That is so beautiful.

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Thank you for sharing that.

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And yeah, , we have a

certified etiquette instructor.

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This is like professional

advice being given here.

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Um, I remember in high school I was

on a like super competitive dance team

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and our coach would hire an etiquette

instructor every year to do a class with

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us on like, Meal etiquette and meeting

new people because we would go to like

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dance conventions and competitions

and different things like that.

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And we always like, nobody was like

against it, but we always kind of took

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it as a game, like, Oh, the etiquette

instructors here, you know, but as

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I've gotten older, I actually remember

some things and I'm like, thank

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goodness my coach brought this lady

in because there's so much to learn.

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And I think that, um, there's even just

some basic things that we can forget that

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we can just like, Easily start bringing

back into our day to day practices.

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So I'm sure we'll touch on a little bit of

your tips and tricks and advice throughout

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the conversation, but just to kick it

off, tell us why you love hosting and

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why do you feel like this is a practice

that we should keep alive in our culture?

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claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

So to answer this, I would

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love to start with a story.

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And it's about my friend, Jess,

who is such a beautiful friend.

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Um, I lived in Buffalo for years and

she was just my steadfast friend.

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We went to Franciscan university together,

studied there and something about her at

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the beginning of our friendship, I noticed

was she was so anxious about hosting,

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about having people in her home and.

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It would come from a place of, you

know, she wanted to, to give her

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best, but there was that anxiety.

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And it was something she didn't love

about herself and wanted to change.

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She knew it about herself.

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Um, and then something happened.

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She bought a home, a new house, and

I saw such a transformation in her.

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It was so noticeable.

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She was peaceful.

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She was present.

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And one day, At her new home, I asked

her because it was so noticeable

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and I was like, is it the new home?

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Like, what, what is this difference?

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Um, cause it was a beautiful new house.

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It was her dream home.

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It had acreage and, and a horse

farm and beautiful gardens.

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It was the dream home.

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And she told me that.

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Something that really changed

everything about hosting for me.

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And she said that when she was

praying to God for this house,

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cause she wanted it so badly.

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She heard God speak to her heart and

say that if, if you, if I gift you this

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home, you have to gift it to others.

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And.

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Within that, she went even a step

further and she, she was like, okay,

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God, like, I, I know this is something

I struggle with and I give it to you.

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And beyond that, she said, I want

this home to be your medicine cabinet.

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I want whoever comes in to be

ministered by you, the divine physician.

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And I thought how beautiful

and I tangibly saw that

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change in her and that story is

beautiful, but it becomes even

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more beautiful when we look at the

word Host and And what is a host?

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A host is someone who receives a guest,

and when you look at that root word

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host, the wor the root word comes

from a Latin root word for hospital.

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So when we host, we truly should be that

medicine cabinet that that ministers.

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divine physician can work through us.

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And it's beautiful too, because as

Catholics, we hear the word host often

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to Jesus at the Eucharist is the host.

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And though it has a different Latin

root word, there's still a play on those

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words because the Latin root word is.

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Hostia, victim or sacrifice, and no matter

what your personality type is extrovert,

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introvert, no matter what, there is an

element of sacrifice when we do host.

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So it can be, um, You know, it's

financial, it's cleaning up with when

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people come, it's just a reality that

there is an element of sacrifice like

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Christ, but there is that gift of

self in receiving to that, that host.

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So, so hosting, I love hosting

because it is that about communion.

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And gift of self and sacrifice.

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And in a world that is hedonistic where

we're so self absorbed and it's easier

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in the short term to sit and scroll

and keep people at a distance, the long

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term effects can be horrific when we

keep people at a distance, I was blessed

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to work with, as an oncology nurse,

with people who are dying and one of

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the, the Biggest regrets they had at

the end of their life was not loving

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people the way they should and not being

present to the people that they loved.

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And so hosting is a tangible

opportunity to spread the gospel.

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mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337: Wow.

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That was so beautifully said.

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And yeah, what you were saying about

being a reflection of Christ in our

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sacrifice and our service to those we

bring in, I think resonates with me so

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much because what I talk about when it

comes to homemaking is that it's not

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just about our family, although it's a,

it's a lot about nurturing our family,

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but it's also about nurturing the

people that we welcome into our home.

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And so that just reminded me and I think

just relates very much to just this.

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Truth that I'm passionate about that you

can evangelize with your home and hosting

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is a beautiful way to do this Um, and we

won't get into like, you know Homemaking

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and decorating and how all that can bring

about catholic conversation because I

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feel like we could talk about that for

hours but I love hearing your perspective

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on this and knowing that like More than

just me is on this wavelength, right?

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There must be so much truth to this and

that Jesus is really putting this on

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homemaker's hearts to welcome people

in, to be a reflection of Christ and

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open the door to conversations about

the faith, to spiritual conversations

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and to help people, you know, feel

loved and kind of like see that love

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of the Lord through you and through

the way that you're serving them.

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So that was really.

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Really, really beautiful.

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And I think like you said, the story of

your friend, I know that I know people,

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I think my mom even sometimes can stress

a lot when it comes to hosting and

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you know, having people at your house.

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And I think maybe it stems from different

places of either perfectionism or

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it's just a lot of work or, you know,

a lot to prepare ahead in advance.

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But, um, I think the truth is that hosting

doesn't have to be a big elaborate thing.

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There are times and places where

you can host a beautiful, elaborate,

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you know, summer dinner party.

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Like you see on Instagram,

there's all these trends of

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like these banquet style tables.

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And to me, I'm like, yes, let's do this.

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And I know you're having

an Italian style dinner.

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Summer right now.

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And so you're probably having Italian

summer dinner parties, but for those

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that maybe feel a little bit more strike

stress or anxious when it comes to

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having people over, I want to give them

some tangible ideas or show different

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types of ways that you can host that

maybe aren't like a grand grand event.

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So what's, what's your opinion?

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What are some different types of

events or gatherings that you can host

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that are maybe are a little bit more

low key or a little bit less work?

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claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337: I love

the idea of potluck style, and that takes

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away so much pressure from the host.

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And just remember too, hosting

doesn't always have to be, you

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know, you make this big meal.

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It can be coffee and donuts after mass.

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It could be a rosary.

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Tea party where everyone brings

their favorite tea cup and

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their favorite tea bag of tea.

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And all you provide is

like hot water and honey.

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mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

That is so cute.

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I really want to do that.

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claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337: do it.

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I'll come, I'll come, but keep it simple.

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But beyond that is, is to, Really,

I challenge you to, to, for those

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who are stressed to look at why, ask

yourself why, what is at the root of it?

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Is it, you know, often it

comes from turning inward.

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And when we start turning outward,

that's when it changes, you know, let

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people just want to get together and

to offer your space, no matter how

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small it is, because I firmly believe

the smaller the space that can be.

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a place for more intimate

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conversations and growth, but really

get to the root of that stress.

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Is it, is it pride?

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Is it, you know, I want to look good.

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I want, I want.

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my home to, to reflect, you know,

beauty, which is good, but it can be

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to a fault when, when we place the

aesthetics over the person in front of us.

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So get to that, that root of the

stress, but keep it simple too.

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And remember the end goal, the end

goal is Christ and sharing Christ

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and his message and being present

to the person in front of us.

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mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337: Yeah.

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That reminds me, I think it

might've been a podcast or a

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book I was reading recently.

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Probably, probably a podcast.

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Cause I'm not a big reader these days, but

there was a piece of advice that whoever

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was on the podcast was talking about when

it came to hosting and they were like,

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we are overly stressing about this like

perfect way that we present ourselves.

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And I never thought of being tied

into pride, like you were mentioning.

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But it's so true.

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And it's such a good reality

check for me as well.

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And like those times, even though I

love hosting in those times where I'm

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like, ah, like clean the floors, do

the dishes, you know, make everything

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perfect, like wipe the counters, like

put away all the clutter, like try

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to make everything like so perfect.

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It's a good reminder of like, why

are we doing this, you know, and is

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actually presenting like a picture

perfect, uh, image of your home.

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More welcoming than not.

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And so what this guy was saying, he

was like, anytime we have someone

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at our house, I intentionally

leave one thing undone.

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He's like, I won't get to maybe some of

the dishes, or maybe I'll leave all the,

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you know, stuff that's at the foot of the

stairs that we haven't brought upstairs.

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I'll leave it there.

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Or we'll leave the shoes out instead

of putting them in the closet.

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Because it just, Allows people to

remember like, yeah, a family lives here.

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Like there's life that happens

here and we're not perfect.

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And our house doesn't actually

look like this all the time.

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And it's okay to like, bring in

your messiness and it's okay to

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like, bring all of the life that

you're going to bring into our home.

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And I had never thought about it that way.

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And I haven't tried it, but honestly,

I feel like that would be a really

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good challenge for me as well.

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And it's just a good reminder

of what you were saying of

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like, when you're not perfect.

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Where is this desire coming from?

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Is it coming from a place of pride?

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And how may that actually be received

by the people that you're welcoming?

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claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

Exactly.

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I love that.

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And a friend told me that if we are

more concerned after our guest leaves

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what they think of us and if, you

know, what, how, what they thought of

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our dish instead of did they receive

Christ, there's an issue there.

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You know, if, if we want to,

you know, look, Glamorous or

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home glamorous, you know what?

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There's an issue there.

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So we need to change our mindset

with hosting and have it about

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Christ in that community.

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mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

Yeah, absolutely.

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And that's not to say that there

shouldn't be any prep at all, right?

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Like we should take the step to

be intentional and to love our

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guests by doing some sort of prep.

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And so what are some key things

that you would recommend?

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Uh, what are some key things that we

should be preparing for when hosting?

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claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

So I personally, and this is not

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mandatory, but I love to clean up

the space that the people will be in.

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And then, um, The kitchen or

the dining area where people

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will eat and then the bathroom.

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So just those areas.

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And again, it's going

to be a mess at the end.

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So don't, if you can't

get to it, that's fine.

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But, um, if I'm hosting a meal too, I

look at the menu, prepare and take stock

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of what, what we have, what we need to.

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And then, um, something I have

done recently that has been a

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game changer is to really listen.

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And take note, especially for people

you host often their favorite things.

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And my husband, Mike

does this beautifully.

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He loves in the details and

this is how God loves us too.

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So uniquely and in the details.

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And, um, so if your friend mentions a

favorite tea or coffee, The way they

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love their coffee, um, take note of

that and to serve that, serve them

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that when they're there and that's

made hosting so fun and creative.

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And, um, just another element

to keep in mind as a host is, is

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to really love in those details.

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mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337: Yeah.

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And that makes you feel

so loved as the guest.

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And I actually just experienced

this like yesterday.

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I'm going to a friend's house

tonight and we're going up to the

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mountains this weekend with some

friends for like a girl's weekend.

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But we're staying at her house

for a night before we go up.

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And she texted me separately

from the group chat.

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And she was like, Hey, I know that

you really like need a really solid

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breakfast to be okay for the day.

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Like here are the few things

that I have at my house Do you

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want me to grab anything else?

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Or is there anything specific

you like in your breakfasts?

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And I felt so loved and so cared for.

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And I was like, wow, like you

really listened to me as a friend.

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Like you really know me and you actually

like care to go out of your way to.

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To share what you have for breakfast

and what, you know, like show that

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you're willing to go get more if

you feel like I need it because I

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need big breakfast in the morning.

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: 00:16:42

So yes, totally agree.

291

: 00:16:44

Um, those little ways that we

can show love those little ways

292

: 00:16:47

that we can be intentional.

293

: 00:16:49

Intentionality goes such a long way

in relationships and in hosting.

294

: 00:16:54

So, um, that's really beautiful.

295

: 00:16:57

Okay, let's move into cooking, because I

feel like this is, we've touched on it a

296

: 00:17:00

little bit, but I feel like this is maybe

the bulk of the stress when it comes to

297

: 00:17:05

hosting, either it's like not knowing

what to prepare or just the number of

298

: 00:17:08

people that you're serving and the number

of people that you have to cook for.

299

: 00:17:12

Um, so can you share some advice

for people who feel like cooking

300

: 00:17:15

maybe is their biggest obstacle to

inviting people into their home?

301

: 00:17:20

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337: So

cooking, if that is your biggest obstacle,

302

: 00:17:24

definitely don't be afraid again, the

potluck, but also outsource, you know,

303

: 00:17:28

if you need to, to grab things out,

do not let that stop you from hosting

304

: 00:17:33

and start.

305

: 00:17:34

Another tip is to start small.

306

: 00:17:36

It doesn't have to be this

big, elaborate meal when.

307

: 00:17:39

I think people equate hosting

with a big meal, that, that

308

: 00:17:43

you need to provide a big meal.

309

: 00:17:45

No, if people offer to help or

bring things, accept that help.

310

: 00:17:49

People want to feel included and

that's a beautiful way to, to

311

: 00:17:53

include them, but start small.

312

: 00:17:55

Again, it can be donuts,

coffee, a tea party.

313

: 00:17:58

Or like a little cook, um, book club.

314

: 00:18:01

I've seen people bring, you know, their

favorite cookbook and a dish from it.

315

: 00:18:05

So that potluck mentality

helps so much too with cooking.

316

: 00:18:10

Um, but I also want to challenge

whoever's listening to, if cooking is a

317

: 00:18:15

stress pick, find and pick one recipe,

especially one that can feed a crowd.

318

: 00:18:21

And there's millions on Pinterest

and I can include one on.

319

: 00:18:25

a freebie for you guys,

320

: 00:18:26

but definitely pick one meal

and practice, practice it and

321

: 00:18:31

freeze it to have it ready.

322

: 00:18:33

So that takes away the stress.

323

: 00:18:34

And from that day, if that's

your biggest stress, but I just

324

: 00:18:37

challenge you to practice, get

into the kitchen a little bit.

325

: 00:18:41

And, um, that's, that's how we all

learned to cook was just that practice,

326

: 00:18:45

but to have even one recipe, even if

you make it continuously every time,

327

: 00:18:50

and you're known for that recipe, do it.

328

: 00:18:53

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

No, I love that.

329

: 00:18:54

This is slightly on that same vein, but

I just even remember as a kid we had

330

: 00:18:58

a family friend who had the best like

pasta and it was like this one pasta

331

: 00:19:04

dish that she would make every time.

332

: 00:19:06

And I guess we were kids,

but like, We never cared.

333

: 00:19:09

We loved going to this person's house

because we knew their mom made the

334

: 00:19:12

best pasta and maybe this was all she

knew how to make, but it was like, she

335

: 00:19:15

has the best pasta and you're right.

336

: 00:19:17

Like maybe it becomes your signature dish.

337

: 00:19:18

And that's actually not something

to be embarrassed about.

338

: 00:19:20

That's like, that's an honor.

339

: 00:19:22

You know, you have

perfected a certain dish.

340

: 00:19:24

So that could even be exciting to

have kind of like a recipe that

341

: 00:19:27

you're working towards refining

and really making it your own.

342

: 00:19:31

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

Exactly.

343

: 00:19:32

And just to let those walls down,

I think we all, people just want,

344

: 00:19:36

again, want to be together and

345

: 00:19:38

we'll give you that grace.

346

: 00:19:39

And just to even come out And

347

: 00:19:41

say, like, I don't,

cooking is a stress for me.

348

: 00:19:45

Do you all want to pitch in 5?

349

: 00:19:47

We'll order pizza tonight, but

just let's all be together or

350

: 00:19:50

let's have s'mores tonight outside.

351

: 00:19:52

It can be such, um, just let, That

barrier of stress, life's too short

352

: 00:19:58

to be making these excuses, not to

invite people into our homes, into

353

: 00:20:03

our spaces, to, to spread Christ and

his message of love and your joy.

354

: 00:20:08

You are such a gift and to, to

not invite people into the gift

355

: 00:20:13

that you are, that that's a loss.

356

: 00:20:16

That's a loss to our

community and our world.

357

: 00:20:20

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

I love your ideas of just making

358

: 00:20:22

it tea or just coffee and just

like making it a smaller thing.

359

: 00:20:25

And that reminded me this

past spring, we did that.

360

: 00:20:29

We have this friend group that

we meet monthly for dinners.

361

: 00:20:32

It's like a marriage group.

362

: 00:20:33

And then one month nobody

could get together.

363

: 00:20:35

And so there was one other couple who

was like, we're, we're free after mass.

364

: 00:20:38

If anybody wants to do something, we're

like, It was last minute, but we're like,

365

: 00:20:41

why don't you guys just come over for tea?

366

: 00:20:42

You know,

367

: 00:20:43

and it was one of our most

memorable times hanging out.

368

: 00:20:45

And I just remember like, we were

all just sitting on the couch,

369

: 00:20:49

knocking on some muffins that I

made like two days ago and some tea

370

: 00:20:52

that I had in the, in the cabinet.

371

: 00:20:54

And it wasn't an elaborate thing, but

there was just a sense of friendship and

372

: 00:20:57

a sense of like unity of just something

that was like spontaneous and casual

373

: 00:21:01

and just being able to sit on the couch.

374

: 00:21:03

And something I've noticed as I've

gotten older into adulthood is

375

: 00:21:06

that those really like, Comfortable

friendships are more few and far between.

376

: 00:21:12

I think as you get older,

it's almost like dating.

377

: 00:21:15

Like you're like trying to impress

the person you're trying to like, put

378

: 00:21:19

out a really good picture of yourself.

379

: 00:21:21

And it just like causes a little bit of

like this, like stiffness, you know, or

380

: 00:21:26

it's just not as common for, you know,

adult friends to just like see you.

381

: 00:21:29

Sit on the couch and watch a show

because you're not in college anymore.

382

: 00:21:32

You don't live in a

dorm, but we crave that

383

: 00:21:36

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337: We do.

384

: 00:21:37

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

all crave that friendship.

385

: 00:21:38

So that's another thing to think of

when hosting too, is like, you don't

386

: 00:21:42

have to go over the top and hosting.

387

: 00:21:43

You could actually intentionally,

even if you love hosting, be like,

388

: 00:21:47

how can I create a comfortable, cozy.

389

: 00:21:49

Hang out one night.

390

: 00:21:50

How can I invite people to like sit

on the couch and be comfortable and,

391

: 00:21:54

you know, have like really cozy, like

you said, tea or really cozy biscuits

392

: 00:21:58

or something that's just like a little

bit less elaborate that helps people

393

: 00:22:01

just relax and feel cozy and just be

like, wow, like I love being home.

394

: 00:22:05

You know what I mean?

395

: 00:22:06

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

Exactly.

396

: 00:22:07

And to feel people just

really want to be known.

397

: 00:22:10

They really do.

398

: 00:22:11

And that's a heartache for all of us.

399

: 00:22:13

And to truly invite them to a

safe place to let themselves be

400

: 00:22:18

known as really a beautiful thing.

401

: 00:22:21

It really is.

402

: 00:22:22

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337: Yeah.

403

: 00:22:23

Okay.

404

: 00:22:23

Let's get into the do's and don'ts

of hosting, especially with your

405

: 00:22:27

unique certification of etiquette.

406

: 00:22:31

Uh, can you just share with us

kind of like those practicals, like

407

: 00:22:33

what are good and bad habits to

have both as a host and as a guest?

408

: 00:22:39

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337: So

something when, interesting when I was

409

: 00:22:41

researching the root word of host, it

also is the root word for guest too.

410

: 00:22:48

So I, I think as we grow as

hosts, we also grow as guests too.

411

: 00:22:53

I love, I just love the root

words and learning about that,

412

: 00:22:56

but something to keep in mind too.

413

: 00:22:58

And with host etiquette, um, prepare

as much as you can beforehand

414

: 00:23:02

that allows you to be present.

415

: 00:23:04

And if you aren't able to, and so.

416

: 00:23:07

Someone arrives early and they offer

to help take them up on their help.

417

: 00:23:11

And one thing I love doing,

especially if there's a crowd coming

418

: 00:23:15

is having that person who showed

up a little early to help greet

419

: 00:23:18

people at the door while you you do

things, but, um, once people arrive.

420

: 00:23:24

It's up to you.

421

: 00:23:25

You can ask them to take off their

shoes or they can leave them on.

422

: 00:23:28

And then the next step is, it's a

forgotten one, but important, especially

423

: 00:23:33

if they don't know your home well,

is to show them where the restroom

424

: 00:23:36

is and then offer them a drink.

425

: 00:23:38

And then if it is a meal, um, make

sure that the center pieces aren't

426

: 00:23:44

blocking the view and at the table

and also no scented candles because

427

: 00:23:49

that can disrupt the food too.

428

: 00:23:51

So, um, Yeah, those are some

just quick hosting etiquette.

429

: 00:23:57

And then for guest etiquette, um, always

offered to bring a dish or, uh, uh,

430

: 00:24:04

side or, uh, offer your help to the

host in any way and let them know too,

431

: 00:24:10

especially if they haven't asked if you

have any food allergies and hosts are.

432

: 00:24:17

should ask if you have any

allergies, but aren't required to

433

: 00:24:22

ask if you have food preferences.

434

: 00:24:23

So don't share your food preferences to if

you're a guest, just your food allergies,

435

: 00:24:29

and then show up about five to 10 minutes

late, just to give your host some time to

436

: 00:24:35

prep and do those last finishing touches

and then, um, offered to take off your

437

: 00:24:42

shoes or what you're, you're, you're, Um,

host prefers and then just enjoy and take

438

: 00:24:47

note of social cues, especially if it's

time to leave and wrap things up because

439

: 00:24:53

your host needs to clean and get rest,

but take always take note of your host

440

: 00:24:58

and offer to help in any way you can.

441

: 00:25:01

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337: I have

never heard somebody say like show up 5

442

: 00:25:05

to 10 minutes late and I can't tell you

how grateful I am to hear you say that.

443

: 00:25:11

In that case, I'm a really

good guest because I often

444

: 00:25:15

show up 5 to 10 minutes late.

445

: 00:25:17

Um, and it is so true when I'm

the host and I hear someone knock

446

: 00:25:21

on the door, like on the dot.

447

: 00:25:23

I'm always like, Why,

why, why are you on time?

448

: 00:25:26

Like I'm not

449

: 00:25:27

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

So true.

450

: 00:25:28

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

And it's just funny cause I'm just

451

: 00:25:30

used to running a few minutes late.

452

: 00:25:31

I sometimes expect other people to,

but I, you know, now I can see it as a

453

: 00:25:36

good, a good etiquette tip, you know,

like just giving your host a little

454

: 00:25:40

bit of space to do last minute prep.

455

: 00:25:41

So

456

: 00:25:42

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337: It is.

457

: 00:25:43

You're practicing etiquette beautifully.

458

: 00:25:45

It's good.

459

: 00:25:46

But, but if you are running more than 15

minutes late, definitely let them know.

460

: 00:25:50

But there is a, an appropriate buffer.

461

: 00:25:53

And etiquette is all about, you

know, showing, showing that honor

462

: 00:25:57

and dignity to the other person too.

463

: 00:26:00

So all these little tips and

tricks are, are important.

464

: 00:26:02

Really in honor of the other person and

sharing the gift of who you are too.

465

: 00:26:06

So it is, it is a good to,

to give your host some time.

466

: 00:26:11

So there's a reason for

all these do's and don'ts.

467

: 00:26:14

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337: Yeah.

468

: 00:26:14

Amazing.

469

: 00:26:15

So then when it comes to overnight

guests, I feel like our conversation

470

: 00:26:18

has kind of mostly been around like

maybe dinner parties or, you know, one

471

: 00:26:21

off events, but what about overnight

guests when you have someone staying

472

: 00:26:24

with you for the weekend or for a night?

473

: 00:26:26

What are some things to keep in

mind maybe to keep their stay more

474

: 00:26:30

comfortable and more enjoyable?

475

: 00:26:32

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337: So

one of the best practices of a host

476

: 00:26:35

is to anticipate your guest's needs.

477

: 00:26:38

So one thing I do personally is

before the guest overnight guest

478

: 00:26:43

arrives, I, reach out to them.

479

: 00:26:45

I call or email or text.

480

: 00:26:48

Um, is there anything you need?

481

: 00:26:50

So a friend last year came with her baby

and I asked, do you need diapers here?

482

: 00:26:54

They were flying in.

483

: 00:26:55

I can get the size you need or,

or wipes or whatever you need.

484

: 00:27:00

Um, contact solution, all those things

that just anticipating those needs.

485

: 00:27:06

And I usually have, Even if they do say

no, a little travel size toiletries for

486

: 00:27:12

whatever they need, um, in the bathroom.

487

: 00:27:14

And then I always have a little

sign, a welcome sign by their

488

: 00:27:19

bed with the wifi password.

489

: 00:27:21

And just if they need anything.

490

: 00:27:23

Just to feel welcome in the house.

491

: 00:27:25

And that's actually, I just made it on

Canva, printed it out, put it in a frame.

492

: 00:27:29

And that's been one of the, I

was surprised the most touching

493

: 00:27:33

thing when people come over.

494

: 00:27:34

They're like, I love that.

495

: 00:27:36

Cause it's some, I think wifi

is a barrier, like they want

496

: 00:27:39

to know the password, but just

to have that anticipation of.

497

: 00:27:44

your guest needs is huge.

498

: 00:27:46

Um, and then also asking your

guests before they arrive to what

499

: 00:27:51

meals they'll be sharing with you.

500

: 00:27:53

And if there's anything you can

prepare, like your friend did, you

501

: 00:27:57

know, remember what their favorite

foods are, if they have any allergies.

502

: 00:28:01

And, um, but it's really about What,

asking yourself, what do I love when

503

: 00:28:07

I go to someone's home or into their

space or spend the night somewhere?

504

: 00:28:12

What are those little things you love?

505

: 00:28:14

And provide that for your guest.

506

: 00:28:18

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

Yeah, I love that.

507

: 00:28:19

Just the way you phrased

it, anticipate their needs.

508

: 00:28:22

There's two things I feel like

you said in the past, you know,

509

: 00:28:24

few minutes that really stuck

with me that go along with that.

510

: 00:28:27

And that's such simple things like

share the wifi password in, you know,

511

: 00:28:32

in a little note or something or in

a little sign in their guest bed or

512

: 00:28:35

even tell them where the bathroom is.

513

: 00:28:37

I feel like those are two

things that people always ask.

514

: 00:28:40

And even yourself, like when you ask,

you're always kind of like, Hey, like.

515

: 00:28:44

Where's the

516

: 00:28:45

bathroom?

517

: 00:28:46

You know, like, can you tell, like,

it's like a little bit like awkward

518

: 00:28:48

to ask because you have to announce

like, I'm going to the bathroom.

519

: 00:28:52

And so that is a really good tip to

just show them like, Hey, by the way,

520

: 00:28:56

like this is where the bathroom is

like, Hey, like, you know, have a

521

: 00:28:58

little card where like, this is where,

you know, this is the wifi password.

522

: 00:29:02

And something I saw on Instagram

recently in a real was like labeling

523

: 00:29:05

things as well to kind of like

anticipate those needs, like in the

524

: 00:29:08

bathroom, labeling like extra things.

525

: 00:29:11

Uh, toilet paper, you know, in

the cabinet or something, or like

526

: 00:29:14

having baskets that say like, uh,

face towels or, uh, makeup wipes.

527

: 00:29:19

If you have those little like travel

things, um, they don't have to be

528

: 00:29:22

like displayed out with big signs,

but like even in the cabinets, I know,

529

: 00:29:25

like I've been to people's houses.

530

: 00:29:26

It's like, Oh, we're out of

soap or out of toilet paper.

531

: 00:29:28

And you have to like look through

the cabinet and be like, where

532

: 00:29:30

are the things that I need?

533

: 00:29:32

So even that's, um, A

helpful thing as well.

534

: 00:29:35

Uh, these have been so good, Claire.

535

: 00:29:38

I feel like I'm ready to welcome

people into my home this summer

536

: 00:29:42

and just have such a good time.

537

: 00:29:44

Um, is there anything else that

you want to share or anything else

538

: 00:29:47

that you feel like you want to

leave our listeners with today?

539

: 00:29:51

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

I would just invite you not to make

540

: 00:29:54

excuses to host and really see it as

an invitation from Christ himself.

541

: 00:30:02

And every person that you encounter or

invite into your home is, is Christ,

542

: 00:30:07

you know, and to, to invite him.

543

: 00:30:10

in into your space in a special way.

544

: 00:30:13

And Christ himself gives

us a beautiful example.

545

: 00:30:16

The perfect host, Jesus in the

Eucharist, the perfect host.

546

: 00:30:20

When he in, in the gospel of

John says, I, And going to the

547

: 00:30:24

father to prepare a place for you.

548

: 00:30:28

You know, he has in, in his father's

house, there are many rooms and

549

: 00:30:32

he's going there to prepare what a

beautiful invitation and witness for

550

: 00:30:38

us, an example for us to imitate him

and that sacrifice, that love and.

551

: 00:30:45

So don't make an excuse to invite

people into your home and truly

552

: 00:30:49

see it as an opportunity to love

and to share Christ's love for us.

553

: 00:30:55

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337:

Thank you.

554

: 00:30:56

That was so encouraging.

555

: 00:30:57

I just, I've loved this conversation

because you just have such a gentle

556

: 00:31:01

and beautiful way of encouraging.

557

: 00:31:03

So I'm sure that our listeners are

just feeling prepared and excited

558

: 00:31:08

to host this summer or whatever

season you're listening in.

559

: 00:31:12

Um, where can our listeners

learn more about you or find you?

560

: 00:31:16

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

So you can follow along on.

561

: 00:31:19

Instagram with at finding philithia

or our website, finding philithia.

562

: 00:31:24

com also on YouTube, finding philithia.

563

: 00:31:27

Um, but those are the main

places I'm usually sharing some

564

: 00:31:31

etiquette on our website and also

some tips in reels on Instagram.

565

: 00:31:38

And I'll share with Mari, your Everbee

community, a freebie, just recapping all

566

: 00:31:44

this hosting etiquette, the do's, the

don'ts, and also the meaning behind it.

567

: 00:31:48

And I'll share a recipe too for any,

so no one has an excuse not to cook.

568

: 00:31:53

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337: Yes.

569

: 00:31:53

Oh my gosh.

570

: 00:31:54

That is so good.

571

: 00:31:55

That's going to be so helpful.

572

: 00:31:55

Cause even if we hear this episode

once you just having like a freebie.

573

: 00:31:59

Physical like PDF would be so helpful

if you have like something big

574

: 00:32:02

that you're hosting just to review.

575

: 00:32:03

So that would be so awesome.

576

: 00:32:05

And once we get that link, I will

put it in the show notes so that

577

: 00:32:08

everybody can access it easily.

578

: 00:32:10

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

Wonderful.

579

: 00:32:10

Thank you so much, Mari.

580

: 00:32:12

And this community is beautiful and

it's an honor to be a part of it.

581

: 00:32:16

mari-wagner_4_06-27-2024_145337: Yes.

582

: 00:32:16

Love you, Claire.

583

: 00:32:17

Thanks for coming on today.

584

: 00:32:19

claire-couche_1_06-27-2024_155337:

Thank you.