74: Faithful Habits of a Catholic Wife & Mother | Carlyn Coffey

Speaker: 00:00:06

Hey, I am your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to The Ever Be

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Podcast where Faith Meets Lifestyle.

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I'm so excited you're here.

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Whether you're a new listener

or a longtime follower, I know

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there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful, real life conversations and

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actionable steps on how to claim the.

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Full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ-centered life in today's

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modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to ever be.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Welcome back to Ever Be Everybody.

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I have one of my dearest

friends today as a guest.

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My friend Carlin.

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I'm really pumped to have her on

this podcast because when we Started

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our friendship a few years ago.

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We always kind of joked about

having a podcast with our husbands.

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'cause us four would just have like

really fun long-winded conversations

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into the night with g and ts in the,

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backyard on summer nights.

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Just about literally anything

about like faith and theology or

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like marriage and family life and

just so many different topics.

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And we always joked about

having a podcast together.

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And then I went off and I did it by

myself and she was like, what the heck?

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I thought we were gonna do this together.

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So it was only fitting to have her on

the podcast and I think it was too long.

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We waited too long to make this happen.

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So Carlin welcome.

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I'm so glad you're here.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

Thanks for having me.

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It is kind of crazy to be

on my Friend Mari's podcast.

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Um, and I think you're getting the

history a little bit wrong because

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I think my husband suggested you

guys we need to start a podcast.

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I'm pretty sure he was like, the

four of us to have a podcast.

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I don't know, maybe it was you,

but he was like your biggest

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supporter in that moment and.

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Um, yeah, we would talk about, yeah,

theology and then also just like morality

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and all these little details of life.

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So I wish it was times back

sometime when we, when we lived near

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: but

now we have to do with phone calls

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and I guess podcast recording.

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So.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

I know totally.

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And just to give a little backstory of

how Carlin and I met, we met when I was,

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um, serving as a focus missionary on

University of Nebraska Lincoln's campus.

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I was there from 2020 to

: 2022

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And then we lived there for like, I

think like nine months afterwards.

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Um, so we stuck around for a

little bit longer and Carlin

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was in one of my Bible studies.

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And so we met there like as missionary

and bible study relationship.

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And then we just like hit it

off so well, and we just became

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closer and closer friends.

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And then once she got married and

graduated, they were like trying to

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find a house to buy and we were like

traveling for like a whole summer.

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And we were like, why don't you just like

live in our house and we'll just like.

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Lived together for the summer and we

were coming in and out the whole time.

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So we're like, you'll still get

your alone time, and then we'll

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get some like fun roomie time.

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So fun fact, we were roomies for a little

bit when we were both newly married

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couples, which was really, really fun.

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Okay.

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Before we jump into questions, let's

do our ever be moments together.

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I'm excited to invite you into this one.

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This is a space where we get to share

ways that God's working in our life,

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um, because ever be is the name of

the podcast and it comes from having

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the Lord's praise ever be on my lips.

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So Carlin, what is your ever be moment?

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Okay.

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In this stage of life, God is often

speaking to me through my children.

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Um, they are some of his

greatest gifts to me.

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And um, some of those moments are

hilarious, but still point to him.

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daughter, just two nights ago, I was

tucking her into bed and she's like,

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mom, I'm gonna be lonely when you leave.

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And I'm like, okay, you can do this.

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Like I'm gonna go like, this is

just like every night you got this.

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And she's like, mom, I know my

guardian angel will be with me,

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but I will still feel lonely.

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And I'm like, oh my gosh.

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Um, we have not talked

about guardian angels for a

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Aw.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: apparently

this is something she's been

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: So it was

just so sweet for her to be like, I know

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my guardian angel is here, but still like

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

I love that.

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And that's such a good reminder for

us too, because our poor guardian

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angels are probably, are so forgotten.

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I know.

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Mine is all the time.

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Like we need to pray to them more often.

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So th Thank you guardian angels, right

now for all the hard work you're doing.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: a

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hundred

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percent.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: My

ever be moment, um, is related to Trey.

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So I have my Bible study every Tuesday

night and I love that community.

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And we've had it for a year.

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And this year now is like going on year

two and we're getting deeper and those

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friendships are just developing even more

and kind of forming like, yeah, like a

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friend group, which is such a blessing.

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And just like women need, women,

community men need men, community.

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And so I've been praying for a while

that he would be able to find a group

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to join or that somebody would lead it.

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Um.

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And finally one of our friend's

husbands like stepped up to lead

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and he lives right across the street

from us, so it's so easy to get to.

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And he invited other like men that we

do know that are like husbands of the

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gals in my group as well as other guys

that like Trey didn't know before.

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And so I love the way that

it's just expanding like his

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Catholic man and network.

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And now sometimes when we've gone to other

friends, things that maybe aren't our

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like usual go-tos, like he'll see one of

those guys and he'll be like, oh my gosh.

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Like this guy from my Bible study.

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And I just think it's awesome for

men to have, yeah, men, community.

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So thank you Lord for just answering

that little prayer for my husband.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

Yes, I'm so happy for Trey.

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We all need community.

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It's so important.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Yay, Trey.

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Okay.

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So anyways, Carls, why don't you just

give us a little bit of an intro.

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What do you, what does

your life look like now?

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Yes, I, um, am

a wife and a mother of two small children.

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Um, I have a daughter, she is

three and a son who is one.

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I've been married to my

husband for four years.

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And a big part of my story is I

actually, uh, had my first child like

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two months after I graduated college.

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So, um, I worked for a little bit

in the, the business world from

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home, but ultimately decided, uh,

to be a stay at home mom pretty

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shortly after having my daughter.

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So I stay home with them and we hang out

and have a good time all day, every day.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah,

she's a professional mother, you guys, she

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like absolutely kills it at what she does.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Oh my

gosh, I'm trying my best, but, um,

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definitely still learning so much

every day and am not an expert yet.

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So, um, I hope I can share what

life looks like right now and what

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we're navigating and how we're

navigating it with the Lord's Health.

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But, um, ultimately my oldest is three,

so please just like, take everything with,

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um, a grain of salt and with prayer too.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Yeah, absolutely.

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That's such great advice.

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I was excited to have you on the

podcast for this topic, just 'cause

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Trey and I look up to how you and Justin

parent and raise your kids and how you

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incorporate the faith into your home

life and teach them about the faith.

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And so, um, even though Eden is

just three, you definitely have

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like, incredible things to share.

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So I know people are gonna walk away with

such good stuff, but why don't you just

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give us a little bit of background, um,

and just share a little bit more about

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your faith journey, maybe how that's

shaped throughout your marriage and family

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life, and maybe even just the way that

you approach motherhood and, and marriage.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Yeah, I think

a lot of my faith journey, um, definitely

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starts with what I've been given from

my parents and some of their story.

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I'm a cradle Catholic, so born and raised

Catholic, which is a huge, huge blessing.

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I'm so grateful for my Catholic heritage.

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Um, and my parents are super

faithful Catholics as well.

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Uh, like just to illustrate

that my dad seriously considered

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priesthood at one point.

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I don't know if you know that ma, but

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: would.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: um,

in college, my dad was going

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through a period of time where he

was like, should I bury your mom?

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Should I become a priest?

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All this stuff.

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and she was always faithful too, I

think a lot out of like obedience

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when she was younger, uh, because they

continued to be catechized as adults.

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So despite like his desire for

priesthood and their desire to con,

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continue to follow their Catholic faith.

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they weren't super steady in

their knowledge of the faith

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and what it all meant, um, or

like how to pass that on to us.

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mom was talking to me just the other week

about how, when she was like 30, she was

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continuing to like do bible studies and

like learning for the first time she felt

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like, um, salvation history, like later

than 30, like maybe her later thirties.

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So their knowledge of like, the Bible

and of the catechism and those kinds

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of concepts like wasn't fully there.

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But their trajectory is just like

continuing to be more and more faithful

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and it's been so fun to see them

grow in their faith and have like

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just a higher bar to always be like

reaching for and following them in.

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So they're continuing to like lead

me in faith as they get older.

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Um, I did have a moment in adoration.

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when I was like, maybe in sixth or seventh

grade, uh, where I felt God's presence,

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it was actually at a Tous tourist thing

and there were like six kids there.

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And they, like, they were, I felt like

they were all kind of strange kids.

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Like, I don't know, I

didn't wanna be there.

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Like, I just was like,

my mom made me come here.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

Um, but I still had a moment.

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They made us go to adoration and

I'm sitting there and I'm like,

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God's like knocking on my heart.

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And I'm like, who is this?

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Like, what are you doing?

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And it was like one of those moments where

I kind of a decision to make, like whether

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I thought this stuff that my parents

had been trying to share with me, like

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was true or, um, or if God wasn't real.

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And I felt like that was a moment

where I decided like God's real for me.

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Um, obviously he's real for everybody,

but high school pressures just

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really did attack me pretty hard.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: mm-hmm.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

pretty hard for.

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Just that desire to fit in is so

intense when you're a high school girl.

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Um, and I just, I wanted to

stand out to my friends again,

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small Catholic high school.

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Um, but I wanted to make my mark

and be one of the cool kids.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

definitely felt like my weird

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Hmm.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: family

was like a notch against me.

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Like that was like

holding me back for sure.

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Um, 'cause even at my small Catholic

high school, like you don't know people's

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hearts and I pray for these people all

the time, but just with the pressures

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of high school, like we weren't living

our faith and maybe people went to mass

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on Sunday, but like, didn't feel like

that's what was being lived out in the

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halls of our school on a day-to-day basis.

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Um, yeah, and me included for sure.

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It got really bad.

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Like I remember telling my high school

boyfriend, like, I am not like my family.

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Don't worry.

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You're not dating my family.

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You're dating me.

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So that he would keep me around

and just think of how bad that is

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for a soul to like be rejecting

not only faith, but like the family

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that's bringing you to faith for

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: of a very

temporary relationship, which, you know,

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at the time you think it's everything.

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But, because that was so bad

for my soul, I think I kind of

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hit rock bottom, like emotionally,

um, before a lot of people do.

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Like in high school I was like, okay,

there's nowhere to go from here.

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and so I knew I had to make a change.

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I was like feeling very mentally

unstable and I, changed a lot about

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my life, like the summer before,

my senior year of high school.

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I just made a decision kind of based

on that encounter with God in sixth

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or seventh grade, and some more

encounters I've had I'd had with him

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through my high school years, despite

my lack of faith during that time.

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, I changed a lot about my life.

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I lost almost all my friends.

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There weren't that many to start with.

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'cause again, small school and I

recommitted my life to Christ genuinely.

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And, another huge bonus of that

was I got so close with my parents,

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especially during that time.

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I started reading my Bible,

especially in the summer.

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So like every morning I would go

sit outside, we lived on an acreage

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and sit outside and I would be

able to like, see God's creation

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and be outside with my Bible.

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And that was just like,

so healing from my heart.

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was also really interested in like

the intellectual side of our faith,

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of all the whys behind things.

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And I would just like devour Father Mike.

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Homilies like podcasts were like, I feel

like they were kind of new or something.

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I dunno what I was listening

like, like iTunes, I don't

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know what I was listening to

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: I was

listening to Father My Ho Like I was going

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back in the history of like finishing

all of them, info on the faith I loved.

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And it was just a really transformative,

like summer before senior year and

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then senior year and there was still

some pressure senior year, but I went

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into college like feeling really ready

for a fresh start and knowing what I

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wanted, which was God and holy friends,

and honestly like a holy husband.

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Like I do not think there's anything

wrong with going into college, being

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like, I am looking for a holy husband.

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That's

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Amen.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

plan, great goal.

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people who laugh about the

MRS degree, I'm like, why?

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: it.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

that's a great reason to go to

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college and try to meet someone.

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So, of course I was like, oh, my

business degree, I'm gonna do so

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much with this too, but whatever.

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

No, it's so true.

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carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: were

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mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: My

brother is a junior in high school

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right now and he's starting to look at

colleges and I literally keep telling

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him like, go to a Catholic college.

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Like go to a Catholic college because

you wanna meet a Catholic girl.

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So you can marry a Catholic girl

and you can raise a Catholic family.

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Like who you marry is the

most important decision you're

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gonna make in your entire life.

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And I don't think it's wrong at all.

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You know, to, and there's nothing wrong

at all to either be like really high

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professional aspirations and you're like,

no, I wanna go to Harvard law degree

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because I got in and I can do that.

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You know what I mean?

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And the Lord knows everybody's story.

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But if you're like, I literally wanna

be a stay-at-home mom and that's my

286

: 00:14:16

dream and I wanna go to college to

find a husband, you also can do that.

287

: 00:14:21

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Yes.

288

: 00:14:21

And like, I, like, I was like business

honors and all the things like I, I had

289

: 00:14:25

been told like, oh, like you're smart.

290

: 00:14:27

Like your whole, like, I had

like plans based on that too.

291

: 00:14:31

But, and I don't think I would've

looked anybody dead in the eye at

292

: 00:14:33

that point and been like, yeah, I'm

293

: 00:14:34

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

294

: 00:14:35

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: husband.

295

: 00:14:35

But, but like, the truth is that, and

people who are like 30 and looking will

296

: 00:14:40

tell you like, is the the easiest time

probably to find somebody and to also

297

: 00:14:46

like, make friends too for that matter

it just like, it gets hard to build those

298

: 00:14:50

relationships after, um, your time is

not your own anymore when you have like

299

: 00:14:55

that full-time job or whatever it is.

300

: 00:14:56

So obviously, yes, like God

works for all those people.

301

: 00:15:00

He has a plan for you if you have not

found, um, your soulmate in college

302

: 00:15:05

100%, but I don't think there's anything

wrong with being strategic about

303

: 00:15:11

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Yeah, I love that.

304

: 00:15:12

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Okay.

305

: 00:15:13

So when I met my husband, um, like

second date was going to mass.

306

: 00:15:20

Like at first I was like, I'm not sure

exactly who you are, but you're cute and.

307

: 00:15:25

Um, and I know you're Catholic, but

like, what does that mean to you?

308

: 00:15:28

But like, our second date was like a daily

mass and I was like, okay, this is good.

309

: 00:15:34

and the rest is kind of history.

310

: 00:15:35

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: flags.

311

: 00:15:36

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: green yep.

312

: 00:15:37

Green flags And just our whole,

our whole dating and engaged

313

: 00:15:40

experience was, wonderful.

314

: 00:15:43

I felt like that was a huge

like honeymoon phase for us.

315

: 00:15:46

Um, we didn't like argue much during

that time and we were just excited

316

: 00:15:51

about our future and so hence we got

married, before I was done with college.

317

: 00:15:55

'cause we were like, why

are we waiting on this?

318

: 00:15:57

And I realized, like, I looked into

my heart and I'm like, oh my gosh.

319

: 00:16:00

Like I am 100% waiting on this because

in the event that I get pregnant,

320

: 00:16:04

after we get married, I'm, I'm not

scared that I can't handle that.

321

: 00:16:08

I'm scared of what other

322

: 00:16:10

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

323

: 00:16:11

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: of me.

324

: 00:16:12

When I identified that, like got

the courage to be like, okay, you

325

: 00:16:16

know that now I, I gave you that

information that that's why you're,

326

: 00:16:19

that's why you're holding back.

327

: 00:16:21

so now you have the freedom to

like make the decision that you

328

: 00:16:25

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm.

329

: 00:16:26

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: And so, yeah.

330

: 00:16:27

So we got married, this summer before

my, senior year um, And I didn't

331

: 00:16:34

graduate with a baby in arms, but I

graduated, yeah, seven months pregnant.

332

: 00:16:38

Um, and the experience was just

like, God cushioned it for me.

333

: 00:16:42

Like I did not feel scared of what other

people thought at all during that time.

334

: 00:16:47

Like, um, I was just worried

about getting through my classes

335

: 00:16:50

and having a healthy pregnancy.

336

: 00:16:51

So,

337

: 00:16:52

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: I just

remember like gals in Bible study and your

338

: 00:16:54

friends, like we were all just so ready

to celebrate you and watch you be a mom.

339

: 00:16:58

So I feel like you also like had that

support from friends and women in your

340

: 00:17:02

life anyways, that hopefully like kind

of washed away some of those fears.

341

: 00:17:05

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Oh my gosh.

342

: 00:17:06

Yeah, we had the best community.

343

: 00:17:08

Um, we have been given

that community, I mean, we

344

: 00:17:11

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Okay.

345

: 00:17:11

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

obviously, as you said.

346

: 00:17:13

So, um, UNL if you don't know, has like

the most amazing Newman center of all

347

: 00:17:17

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

348

: 00:17:17

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

um, that was a huge gift too.

349

: 00:17:19

And so, yeah, I mean, I kind of was,

which I like, this is totally great,

350

: 00:17:24

like be in your Catholic bubble.

351

: 00:17:25

I was in my, my Catholic faithful bubble

and that really was super helpful.

352

: 00:17:29

But the only thing I'm talking about

is like, I thought maybe going to

353

: 00:17:32

my business classes or like walking

across campus, it was just gonna be

354

: 00:17:35

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

355

: 00:17:36

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: But like,

It wasn't, nobody actually cares.

356

: 00:17:40

You know?

357

: 00:17:40

And, and I hope that if somebody did

care, in the sense of like, I hope that

358

: 00:17:46

somebody out there saw a pregnant woman

walking across campus who was obviously

359

: 00:17:51

a college student and thought like, okay,

360

: 00:17:54

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

361

: 00:17:55

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

Like, I can do that too.

362

: 00:17:56

And my situation was different and

I was in a supportive and loving

363

: 00:18:00

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

364

: 00:18:00

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: point.

365

: 00:18:01

But other people didn't

necessarily know that.

366

: 00:18:03

I just hope

367

: 00:18:04

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

368

: 00:18:04

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: there

felt like, okay, maybe I could

369

: 00:18:06

keep this baby, because I think

of how many college women are

370

: 00:18:09

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Oh, yeah,

371

: 00:18:10

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: or, um,

making the decision because they're

372

: 00:18:14

scared and it's totally a valid fear.

373

: 00:18:17

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah,

374

: 00:18:18

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: I

hope that was, um, for somebody.

375

: 00:18:21

So maybe God used that, but I

376

: 00:18:23

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: yeah.

377

: 00:18:23

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

if God used that.

378

: 00:18:24

I'm

379

: 00:18:24

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

380

: 00:18:25

I love that.

381

: 00:18:26

How do you feel like, do you feel like

there is anything about your faith

382

: 00:18:29

journey that has kind of like shaped

the way that you approach motherhood?

383

: 00:18:34

Like I'm kind of like thinking, like

your experience of growing up in your

384

: 00:18:39

Catholic family and how you felt in school

and like, does that inform any way that

385

: 00:18:43

like you want to share the faith with

your children or the way that you want a

386

: 00:18:47

mother, um, so that they have a different

maybe like are able to embrace it more

387

: 00:18:54

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Yeah, I

like, I want to emphasize a really

388

: 00:18:56

strong family culture and a Christian

community with people who are also really

389

: 00:19:01

serious, um, about their faith walk, um,

with Christ so that our children like.

390

: 00:19:08

aren't considered strange to their peers.

391

: 00:19:10

Like we, we'll have persecution for our

Christian faith throughout our lives,

392

: 00:19:14

but like, again, like if we can be

strategic, especially for the sake of

393

: 00:19:17

our children and build the best community

we can for them, the best environment we

394

: 00:19:22

can, the best family, friendships with

other children who are gonna be hearing

395

: 00:19:27

the same things at home, practicing the

same things at home, um, in a serious

396

: 00:19:31

way, again, um, we should do that.

397

: 00:19:33

Like we should make a bubble for our

children for them to grow and flourish in.

398

: 00:19:39

then they can be sent out,

effectively when they're older.

399

: 00:19:42

Like, I don't think that they're going

to be, um, so scared of the world.

400

: 00:19:47

I think they're gonna be enabled

and prepared to face the world

401

: 00:19:51

when that's been their background

402

: 00:19:53

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

403

: 00:19:54

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um, and

again, I'm all honor to my parents.

404

: 00:19:58

Um.

405

: 00:19:59

They were totally doing the

best they could and they did a

406

: 00:20:03

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

407

: 00:20:04

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

and we can keep trying to move

408

: 00:20:06

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

409

: 00:20:07

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um,

and we still live in Lincolnton

410

: 00:20:09

and it's an amazing community.

411

: 00:20:11

So that's what we're actively

412

: 00:20:12

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

413

: 00:20:13

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um,

like again, a really strong family

414

: 00:20:16

culture is important to me and

that's something that I've also

415

: 00:20:18

learned a lot from Justin's family.

416

: 00:20:20

We have family dinners every

Sunday and he has seven siblings.

417

: 00:20:24

And most of the time almost everybody is

there, like one person lives somewhere

418

: 00:20:29

else 'cause they're military right now.

419

: 00:20:30

But besides that, everybody's so

committed to being there and just like

420

: 00:20:35

that and shaping that strong family

culture so that we're each other's

421

: 00:20:38

number one call, like peers should not

be your like, children's number one call

422

: 00:20:43

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

423

: 00:20:44

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: It

should be their siblings and

424

: 00:20:45

their, especially their parents.

425

: 00:20:46

and yeah, just for it to be

normal to ask any questions.

426

: 00:20:50

Like for it to be normal,

to pray together daily.

427

: 00:20:52

to truly like, act like Christ is the

most important thing in our lives and

428

: 00:20:58

then also I feel like something that I'm

trying to focus on as my children get

429

: 00:21:02

older is that, like, that intellectual

side, that was so amazing for me when

430

: 00:21:07

I like really started to dive in.

431

: 00:21:08

I want my kids to know

the bible, to know faith.

432

: 00:21:12

Um, and that takes time and effort and it

requires me to continue growing so that

433

: 00:21:16

I can share that with them effectively.

434

: 00:21:18

So that like when they meet obstacles or

just questions for themselves, they're

435

: 00:21:22

like, okay, no, I know about this already.

436

: 00:21:25

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Yeah, that's very wise.

437

: 00:21:26

I love that.

438

: 00:21:27

Okay, um, slightly switching gears to

talking a little bit about marriage

439

: 00:21:32

as Well, and we'll get into some

more faithful habits and everything.

440

: 00:21:35

But first I do wanna hear, 'cause

I love you and Justin, and we

441

: 00:21:40

look up to your marriage as well.

442

: 00:21:41

So how do you prioritize your marriage

amid the busyness of motherhood?

443

: 00:21:47

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Well, Justin

and I look up to your marriage too,

444

: 00:21:49

so it's amazing to have friends who

are, , striving towards the same goal.

445

: 00:21:52

So a mother really brings out like

the selfishness in your heart.

446

: 00:21:57

And this is something we've talked

about, um, pretty extensive last time

447

: 00:22:00

you were here, um, because your time

is just truly zapped in a new way.

448

: 00:22:05

but God is so good because

it happens in stages.

449

: 00:22:08

So like you have a newborn.

450

: 00:22:10

Who sleeps a lot.

451

: 00:22:11

And that's like such a blessing.

452

: 00:22:12

It's still, it still rocks

your world and whatever.

453

: 00:22:15

but the reality is that they

are sleeping all the time.

454

: 00:22:18

Like, and so you just get um, that

little stage of like, okay, I'm new

455

: 00:22:22

to this but I have some time to rest

during the day and all these things.

456

: 00:22:25

And then they start to sleep a little

bit less and a little bit less.

457

: 00:22:28

And then you have a toddler and then

maybe they're like potty training and

458

: 00:22:33

then maybe you have like morning sickness

with your toddler, um, 'cause you're

459

: 00:22:38

pregnant with your second and then you

have two and like, and so it just all kind

460

: 00:22:42

of levels up, but like slowly, like the

Lord is so generous to us in that aspect.

461

: 00:22:47

Like it's like this slow training.

462

: 00:22:49

Um, yeah, Justin and I had like one or

two arguments before having our daughter.

463

: 00:22:55

Kind of like I had mentioned.

464

: 00:22:56

That's just how our.

465

: 00:22:57

Relationship worked at that point.

466

: 00:23:00

And honestly, like having our daughter

brought it out in us, like brought out

467

: 00:23:05

those things that we needed to work on.

468

: 00:23:07

and even though we were so in love

with her, like so in love with each

469

: 00:23:10

other, watching each other sacrifice,

um, it can just really be a process

470

: 00:23:15

where, I felt like you can either

slowly let yourself become like

471

: 00:23:19

not to scare anyone, like painfully

472

: 00:23:21

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

473

: 00:23:22

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: um, or

you can slowly let yourself like

474

: 00:23:26

painfully like resentful and like

self-focused and like worried about

475

: 00:23:30

when you're gonna get what you need.

476

: 00:23:33

and I feel my soul being tugged

in both directions all the time.

477

: 00:23:37

Like, I feel the battle for my soul

like to be purified and to like, do the

478

: 00:23:42

fleshly thing of like being resentful.

479

: 00:23:46

Um, and so for us.

480

: 00:23:48

One of the ways we decided to prioritize

our marriage is for me to quit my job.

481

: 00:23:53

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: So true.

482

: 00:23:54

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um,

we had the means to do this by the

483

: 00:23:57

grace of God, and not everyone has

that ability, nor is that God's plan

484

: 00:24:03

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

485

: 00:24:04

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: for sure.

486

: 00:24:05

And there are some drawbacks, like it

adds stress to the provider, for sure too.

487

: 00:24:10

But the thing that we found is it

really requires us to like completely

488

: 00:24:16

rely on each other in a new way

and like trust each other in our

489

: 00:24:21

kind of somewhat separate arenas.

490

: 00:24:23

Which is a really good model

I think for a lot of people.

491

: 00:24:26

Cause we like, we just relying on

each other in a really tangible way.

492

: 00:24:31

it gives us some more time, I think, to

create that positive family culture and

493

: 00:24:37

like the sense of togetherness that I

was talking about, that striving for.

494

: 00:24:42

He's home for work.

495

: 00:24:43

So like we're both, um, receiving

these like gifts from each other.

496

: 00:24:47

Like I can just sit here and be like, oh

my gosh, like everything I have around me

497

: 00:24:52

is because my husband is working so hard.

498

: 00:24:55

home and he tells me like, oh my

gosh, everything about, um, how our

499

: 00:25:01

children are being raised in the time

that I'm gone, um, is thanks to you.

500

: 00:25:05

And he's so grateful for that.

501

: 00:25:07

So, just that balance has

worked really well for us.

502

: 00:25:10

And on one side there's people who

like truly can't afford this lifestyle

503

: 00:25:14

or have a huge calling and purpose,

somewhere else that God has called them

504

: 00:25:18

to, which is so a hundred percent valid.

505

: 00:25:20

And on the other side, people

tell me all the time, like.

506

: 00:25:23

couldn't do that, because I was so ready

to be done with maternity leave and

507

: 00:25:27

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Right.

508

: 00:25:28

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: to my job.

509

: 00:25:28

'cause it's honestly easier.

510

: 00:25:30

Like I've definitely heard that I

wanna go to my job 'cause it's easier

511

: 00:25:33

than being home with my two toddlers.

512

: 00:25:34

And I'm like, I get it.

513

: 00:25:36

But like, also discerning,

like has God, like what is

514

: 00:25:39

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

515

: 00:25:39

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: to?

516

: 00:25:41

But other than that, practically like

we have date night every two weeks.

517

: 00:25:48

we do it out of the house.

518

: 00:25:50

And that's like for a

pretty solid purpose.

519

: 00:25:53

Like, because our focus is like

when our children leave our house

520

: 00:25:57

someday, what is it gonna, what

is our marriage gonna be like

521

: 00:26:00

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: that's.

522

: 00:26:00

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: point?

523

: 00:26:01

Because they're very all consuming.

524

: 00:26:03

Toddlers especially, I don't know, I

talk to moms who have big kids, they're

525

: 00:26:06

like, honestly toddlerhood is like really

rough, but like, um, but toddlers are like

526

: 00:26:12

super consuming and just all the time.

527

: 00:26:13

And I have loud kids too.

528

: 00:26:15

Um.

529

: 00:26:16

And so like the house is like pretty

solid for us and just to like feel

530

: 00:26:21

like, okay, we have a few hours

where we can like almost kind of

531

: 00:26:24

assess where our marriage is at.

532

: 00:26:26

Like how is the flow

conversation right now?

533

: 00:26:28

Like, are we feeling comfortable with

534

: 00:26:30

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Hmm.

535

: 00:26:30

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: and if

we're not, like is there something

536

: 00:26:32

that we could address or like tweak

to like bring us closer again?

537

: 00:26:37

And it's a really good kinda measure

of that to like get out of the house.

538

: 00:26:40

I

539

: 00:26:41

It would be amazing to do like a

in-home night on the off week, but we

540

: 00:26:46

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah,

No, I mean, honestly, Carl's like

541

: 00:26:48

every two weeks is such a win, and I

hope that serves as encouragement to

542

: 00:26:53

a lot of listeners to feel like even

if I have small children, like maybe I

543

: 00:26:57

could, you know, and maybe if, even if

you start with like once a month, like

544

: 00:27:01

I just know so many people, or when

I've asked on my Instagram and asked

545

: 00:27:04

people to share like openly, like,

what do date nights look like for you?

546

: 00:27:07

I, it was sad.

547

: 00:27:09

I got a lot of responses of

people are like, oh, date

548

: 00:27:11

nights don't happen anymore.

549

: 00:27:12

Like once you have kids, that

that doesn't exist anymore.

550

: 00:27:15

Or like, literally it's been six

months since we went on a date or.

551

: 00:27:19

Years, you know, so I, I admire that.

552

: 00:27:22

And it shows what you said was so wise

of like, what is our marriage gonna look

553

: 00:27:26

like when our kids are outta the house?

554

: 00:27:28

And in the priority of vocations,

our spouse is actually our

555

: 00:27:33

first priority over children.

556

: 00:27:35

And so I think that that's like so

rightly ordered and it's, it's good to

557

: 00:27:40

your children to invest in your marriage.

558

: 00:27:43

It's, it's good for them to

know that their parents have a

559

: 00:27:46

beautiful and healthy marriage.

560

: 00:27:47

And from that beautiful and

healthy marriage, all that,

561

: 00:27:49

grace and those fruits are gonna

flow into your family life.

562

: 00:27:53

So it's, that's really wise.

563

: 00:27:55

I love that..

564

: 00:27:55

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: And

then the most important thing

565

: 00:27:57

is that I pray for my husband.

566

: 00:27:59

Um, you need to be praying for

your husband and for myself, but

567

: 00:28:01

I pray for wisdom for him, for

leadership at home and at work.

568

: 00:28:05

And I pray for wisdom for me,

especially that I have custody of my

569

: 00:28:08

tongue, so I'm speaking to him gently

as much as possible all the time.

570

: 00:28:12

most, those are the most

two important things.

571

: 00:28:14

Pray for your husband and pray for

wisdom for how to approach your husband.

572

: 00:28:18

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: yeah.

573

: 00:28:19

That's really good.

574

: 00:28:19

I'm gonna take that to my prayer as well.

575

: 00:28:23

Um, okay.

576

: 00:28:24

Let's get into some faithful habits.

577

: 00:28:25

What are some habits that you've

cultivated to help you be the mom and

578

: 00:28:30

wife that you wanna be for your kids?

579

: 00:28:33

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

Number one, it's the hardest one.

580

: 00:28:34

I get up and I read my Bible and

I pray before the kids wake up.

581

: 00:28:38

Um, any morning I can.

582

: 00:28:40

There are exceptions.

583

: 00:28:41

Your season of life matters, especially

like being first trimester pregnant

584

: 00:28:45

or like fourth trimester postpartum.

585

: 00:28:48

Um, those are the two times

when I really prioritize sleep.

586

: 00:28:50

But, um, I try to look internally and

be like, okay, is this a time when I can

587

: 00:28:55

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

588

: 00:28:56

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: up before

my children and praying because

589

: 00:28:59

it's more important than sleep.

590

: 00:29:00

And I think sleep is really important.

591

: 00:29:02

So

592

: 00:29:02

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

593

: 00:29:03

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um, this is,

it's just like how I have an understanding

594

: 00:29:07

of God's word so I can teach it.

595

: 00:29:09

'cause otherwise we don't have it.

596

: 00:29:10

So that I have, a personal relationship

with God so that I can share that.

597

: 00:29:13

Otherwise you won't be able to share it.

598

: 00:29:15

So it has to be there and

you can pray during the day.

599

: 00:29:18

You can pray when they go

down for naps, whatever it is.

600

: 00:29:20

But, um, prayer has gotta be there.

601

: 00:29:22

and I pray for my kids and my

husband, pray things for them that

602

: 00:29:25

God tells us it's important for them.

603

: 00:29:28

Pray that they grow, in a

loving relationship with him.

604

: 00:29:31

Pray for their

understanding of who God is.

605

: 00:29:34

Pray for their future spouses.

606

: 00:29:35

Pray that I pray that my kids

will be obedient and respectful.

607

: 00:29:38

Okay, so those are all good things

to be praying for your kids.

608

: 00:29:42

Um, and then my phone is in a

drawer the majority of the day.

609

: 00:29:46

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Okay.

610

: 00:29:47

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: I

try to treat it like a landline.

611

: 00:29:49

It does not always happen, but it's a

goal and it changes my life when I do it.

612

: 00:29:53

Um, and then we just, like, I feel like

we don't like fast anymore, but I'm

613

: 00:29:59

trying, I'm trying to like fast for my

children and my husband because that's

614

: 00:30:03

something that the Bible tells us is like

like Paul assumed, that we were fasting

615

: 00:30:08

and praying for one another, um, in

616

: 00:30:10

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

617

: 00:30:11

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

um, that's something that's

618

: 00:30:12

part of the Christian walk.

619

: 00:30:13

And then, and then when I'm feeling

overstimulated, which happens like

620

: 00:30:17

once a day, I just try to remember,

or maybe multiple times a day.

621

: 00:30:20

I just try to remember God's

presence, which sounds like

622

: 00:30:23

such like, it sounds like not.

623

: 00:30:25

It's a serious thing, but it is to like

just stop and close your eyes and be

624

: 00:30:29

like, okay, God's with me right now.

625

: 00:30:31

It changes things so.

626

: 00:30:32

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Gosh, those are so.

627

: 00:30:33

good.

628

: 00:30:34

When you told me about the landline

like analogy for your phone, how

629

: 00:30:39

you like keep it in a drawer in a

box and like that's where it lives.

630

: 00:30:42

It like totally blew my mind.

631

: 00:30:43

'cause I was like, wait.

632

: 00:30:43

Yeah, that's how it used to be.

633

: 00:30:45

Like our phones literally just

stayed in one place and if you

634

: 00:30:47

needed it you would go to it.

635

: 00:30:48

Obviously now phones aren't just

phones, they're like computers in

636

: 00:30:51

your pocket and you like reach for

it more than just to call or text.

637

: 00:30:56

But it has really opened my eyes.

638

: 00:30:58

Like whenever I think about

you doing that, I'm like.

639

: 00:31:00

Oh my gosh.

640

: 00:31:00

Like, why am I bringing my

phone into the bathroom?

641

: 00:31:02

Or like, why did I bring it from

my room to the closet, you know,

642

: 00:31:05

like to change, like why am I like

literally bringing it everywhere I go?

643

: 00:31:09

And it's made me so aware of that.

644

: 00:31:11

Um, and I have not changed my habit,

but you inspire me to change my habit

645

: 00:31:14

to be like, okay, like baby steps.

646

: 00:31:17

Like obviously my phone, like, or my job

and my life requires my phone so much, but

647

: 00:31:22

I wonder if there could be like times of

the day where it's like, okay until, you

648

: 00:31:27

know, work hours start, like my phone will

just live here and it, like, it doesn't

649

: 00:31:31

need to come with me into my closet and

into my bedroom and while I eat breakfast.

650

: 00:31:34

Like it'll just live here and then

I can work during the day and then

651

: 00:31:38

it goes in, you know, in it's spot,

like in the evening, in downtime.

652

: 00:31:41

So anyways, I love that and I think

we can all learn, learn from that.

653

: 00:31:45

It does make us such more,

much more present people.

654

: 00:31:48

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: And I still

use my phone, but like, like, to try to

655

: 00:31:51

make the intentional effort to like batch.

656

: 00:31:53

There's so many things

that I use my phone for

657

: 00:31:56

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

658

: 00:31:57

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: I am not

one of those people who's like, willing

659

: 00:31:59

to make the jump yet to the flip phone.

660

: 00:32:00

I kind of dream about that.

661

: 00:32:02

That's like a fantasy for me.

662

: 00:32:03

But like I, realistically, I order my

663

: 00:32:05

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

664

: 00:32:05

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: my phone and I

665

: 00:32:06

like

666

: 00:32:07

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

667

: 00:32:08

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Well,

we could do that on a flip phone,

668

: 00:32:09

but like, I dunno, there's like,

there's like doctors, like virtual

669

: 00:32:12

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

670

: 00:32:13

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: things

that I am realistically like

671

: 00:32:14

using my phone for every day.

672

: 00:32:16

So trying to batch those things

during, like if you, if your

673

: 00:32:19

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

674

: 00:32:20

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

time, or a long nap or something

675

: 00:32:22

like that to like, batch things.

676

: 00:32:23

Then, um, is always really helpful.

677

: 00:32:25

Just so like, I don't feel

scatterbrained all day.

678

: 00:32:27

Like, oh, I'm ordering groceries now.

679

: 00:32:29

My, I have to discipline my child now.

680

: 00:32:31

Um, um, this child needs

help with this pro.

681

: 00:32:35

Like, I don't know, it's just like,

it's too much going on at once.

682

: 00:32:38

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Yeah, totally.

683

: 00:32:39

Do you and Justin have any

habits together that you do to

684

: 00:32:43

stay rooted in God as a couple?

685

: 00:32:46

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um, I'm

gonna kind of cheat and say that we do,

686

: 00:32:48

um, prayers every night as a family.

687

: 00:32:51

Um, but the big thing about that

is Justin is so sweet and started

688

: 00:32:55

this, uh, pretty much it tradi.

689

: 00:32:57

it's a tradition.

690

: 00:32:58

It happens every night.

691

: 00:32:58

He starts prayers thanking God for all

the things he's thankful for, that I

692

: 00:33:03

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Oh.

693

: 00:33:04

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: or even

just things in general about me.

694

: 00:33:06

It is the best thing ever.

695

: 00:33:08

Um, and so our kids are hearing that.

696

: 00:33:09

I get to hear that every day.

697

: 00:33:11

It is just a healing moment of the day.

698

: 00:33:13

And then of course that inspires me

to thank God for everything about

699

: 00:33:18

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Hmm.

700

: 00:33:19

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: And so that's

like a big portion of our prayers is

701

: 00:33:22

Justin and I like loving each other.

702

: 00:33:23

and then just gratitude.

703

: 00:33:25

Um, he leads the prayers.

704

: 00:33:27

So, uh, we do like petition prayers,

memorize prayers, saint intercession,

705

: 00:33:31

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: I just

remember last time Eden, I don't remember

706

: 00:33:34

what she said, but it was just hilarious.

707

: 00:33:36

She just like said something

like, oh, I'm like so grateful.

708

: 00:33:39

Like it was just like some random

like toy in the house or something

709

: 00:33:42

like that, or some random object

in the house and we were just like,

710

: 00:33:44

yes, you should be grateful for that.

711

: 00:33:47

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: gets, she

gets a little divergent these days.

712

: 00:33:49

She's like, I'm thankful for lamp

713

: 00:33:52

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yes,

714

: 00:33:53

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: curtains and

715

: 00:33:54

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: yes.

716

: 00:33:55

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: And I'm

like, will say, Justin's like, okay.

717

: 00:33:59

Let's talk to Jesus from your heart.

718

: 00:34:01

Like that's what he says to her.

719

: 00:34:03

And usually that does a little

bit of something to like bring

720

: 00:34:05

her back to like, okay, I'm not

721

: 00:34:07

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Naming objects.

722

: 00:34:08

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: me, but,

but like, even with like a 1-year-old,

723

: 00:34:11

like he can basically not talk yet,

but like, we ask him, honestly, this

724

: 00:34:15

is kind of for even so that she knows,

he's like a member of the family and

725

: 00:34:18

like, deserves is what she deserves.

726

: 00:34:21

But ask him.

727

: 00:34:21

And it's hilarious.

728

: 00:34:22

Like he does know what's going on because

we'll be like, okay, Wesley, your turn.

729

: 00:34:26

And then he's like,

blah, blah, blah, blah.

730

: 00:34:27

Like he like goes off and then he's done.

731

: 00:34:29

And it's just, good for

them to have a chance

732

: 00:34:32

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

That's so good.

733

: 00:34:33

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: it's

like anything they wanna say to

734

: 00:34:35

God, a gratitude list of some

735

: 00:34:37

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: It's So

736

: 00:34:37

cute.

737

: 00:34:37

yeah.

738

: 00:34:39

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: yeah.

739

: 00:34:39

And then we try to pray rosary's in the

car whenever we're in the car together.

740

: 00:34:44

Um, for like, would say

anytime it's like an hour

741

: 00:34:48

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

742

: 00:34:49

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: And so

the kids hear us praying the rosary.

743

: 00:34:51

They, they don't really join at this

744

: 00:34:53

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

745

: 00:34:53

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: but um.

746

: 00:34:55

then also like, we're just used to praying

out loud when something happens that

747

: 00:35:00

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

748

: 00:35:02

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um,

I oftentimes, like, I'll, I'll

749

: 00:35:05

be the one who thinks of it.

750

: 00:35:06

Like, I'll be like, Justin, I

think you pray for us right now.

751

: 00:35:10

And I think in that way, like I was

thinking about this, I'm like, God's

752

: 00:35:13

using both of us together to like

work as a team in those moments.

753

: 00:35:16

Like I'm the one, he's inspiring

for the need for prayer and then

754

: 00:35:20

Justin's the one who's like able

to provide that for our family and,

755

: 00:35:25

and that we're just a team in it.

756

: 00:35:27

It brings us

757

: 00:35:28

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

I love that perspective on it.

758

: 00:35:30

I think so.

759

: 00:35:31

many wives often think like, why am

I the only, the one like bringing

760

: 00:35:35

up prayer or asking for prayers?

761

: 00:35:38

And it's just true.

762

: 00:35:39

I think that as women, like, and

it's not like a blanket statement,

763

: 00:35:42

but like we just have like a bit

of more of that like emotional

764

: 00:35:46

intuitiveness, spiritual intuitiveness.

765

: 00:35:49

Um, and we hold so many things in our

brain that we're able to kind of like

766

: 00:35:52

put all those thoughts together and

recognize the need, whereas like men

767

: 00:35:56

sometimes don't recognize it right away.

768

: 00:35:58

But I love the way you phrase that of

like, God's using both of you as a team,

769

: 00:36:02

you to recognize that need and prompt

your husband to lead and intercede for

770

: 00:36:06

your family and as the head of your

home, like, like bring that prayer

771

: 00:36:09

down, which is just, this is beautiful.

772

: 00:36:11

It's a great way to think about it.

773

: 00:36:12

Okay.

774

: 00:36:12

That is so beautiful to hear.

775

: 00:36:14

Just the different ways that

you incorporate the faith and

776

: 00:36:16

faithful habits into your marriage.

777

: 00:36:18

What about ways that you bring the

faith into your home, tangible, everyday

778

: 00:36:21

ways, especially with little ones.

779

: 00:36:24

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: This is such a

780

: 00:36:24

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

781

: 00:36:25

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: People think

you can't like teach your toddler to love

782

: 00:36:29

the Lord and it just needs to be part

of our normal life that they grow into.

783

: 00:36:34

Um, so we've got our regular prayer times,

kind of like I've mentioned already,

784

: 00:36:39

but, um, mom knows, especially moms

of toddlers, know that sometimes there

785

: 00:36:44

are moments that just feel so chaotic.

786

: 00:36:46

Even if you've like curated

your home and only purchased the

787

: 00:36:49

wooden toys and you don't watch

TV because that's overstimulating.

788

: 00:36:54

I don't know.

789

: 00:36:54

My, my daughter is just a loud and proud

kid and my son is learning that from her.

790

: 00:36:59

So she's always dancing around,

singing at the top of her lungs.

791

: 00:37:02

So I pray out loud about my own emotions

'cause I have them, all the time.

792

: 00:37:06

And I tell God, I'm like, I'm feeling

overwhelmed out loud in front of

793

: 00:37:10

them, or I'm feeling angry about

this, or I'm feeling sad about this.

794

: 00:37:13

Give me wisdom, Lord.

795

: 00:37:15

Give me a gentle, quiet spirit

right now, um, with my children.

796

: 00:37:19

And man, do they, like,

they snap to attention.

797

: 00:37:23

They're like, what are

you doing right now?

798

: 00:37:25

Um, but the yes, yes.

799

: 00:37:27

She's like, like are you praying?

800

: 00:37:30

I'm like, yes.

801

: 00:37:30

I'm praying right now because mommy needs

802

: 00:37:32

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Mommy needs prayers.

803

: 00:37:33

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um, but the

main point Like the point is to show them

804

: 00:37:36

this is a living relationship and it's not

something we just do at specific times.

805

: 00:37:40

'cause I think that's a lot of

people's problem with like Catholics.

806

: 00:37:43

Okay.

807

: 00:37:43

Is they like, they think we don.

808

: 00:37:45

Have a

809

: 00:37:45

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

810

: 00:37:46

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: God.

811

: 00:37:47

Um, and that is just memorize

prayers but not the case.

812

: 00:37:51

Um, so just make those internal

prayers, external prayers for

813

: 00:37:54

your children That will just, um,

yeah, like I said, snap them to

814

: 00:37:58

attention and they'll be interested.

815

: 00:38:00

'cause they're spiritual beings too.

816

: 00:38:02

okay.

817

: 00:38:02

And then other practical things.

818

: 00:38:04

read the Children's Bible.

819

: 00:38:06

Um, again, some people would just say,

just read the Bible word for word.

820

: 00:38:11

And like, that's great.

821

: 00:38:12

We read scripture too, but

primarily we're reading our

822

: 00:38:15

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: For sure.

823

: 00:38:15

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: bible,

especially during meal times.

824

: 00:38:18

That's the key.

825

: 00:38:19

their butts are in

826

: 00:38:20

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: I,

827

: 00:38:21

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um,

I love the children's bible.

828

: 00:38:23

We have, I don't know what it's called.

829

: 00:38:25

Do you do, like, do you like link

830

: 00:38:27

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: yeah.

831

: 00:38:27

Yeah.

832

: 00:38:28

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: in your, um,

833

: 00:38:29

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yep.

834

: 00:38:29

Yep.

835

: 00:38:29

We'll link things in the show notes.

836

: 00:38:33

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um,

there are so many stories in

837

: 00:38:35

that, uh, that typically aren't

included in Children's Bible.

838

: 00:38:38

It's like very comprehensive and it

doesn't like sugarcoat the Bible while

839

: 00:38:42

also not like revealing, um, super

age like inappropriate type things.

840

: 00:38:48

But, um, but again, it doesn't

just like steamroll over it or like

841

: 00:38:52

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

842

: 00:38:52

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: the story.

843

: 00:38:55

and then kids ask so many questions.

844

: 00:38:56

So we talk a lot about like why God

made something the way he did or

845

: 00:39:00

just like different essential truths.

846

: 00:39:03

and I think that helps them see like

God is not just in mass on Sunday.

847

: 00:39:08

we occasionally get to daily mass.

848

: 00:39:10

I would love to incorporate that more,

but um, that's not, um, something that

849

: 00:39:15

we're doing all the time right now, but.

850

: 00:39:18

The playground we often go to is

like attached to the Catholic school.

851

: 00:39:21

It's very close to our house, which

we're so blessed to have that.

852

: 00:39:25

Um, so after we're done playing, we can

often like get the kids to come over

853

: 00:39:29

with us and we do perpetual adoration.

854

: 00:39:32

Um, so we just stop it and we see how

855

: 00:39:34

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Hmm.

856

: 00:39:34

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

last before they are too loud.

857

: 00:39:36

Um, and I would just encourage you

like not to be afraid to go do that.

858

: 00:39:40

Um, you're probably not gonna be

in there that long, and I'm sorry

859

: 00:39:44

to the other people who are trying

to pray, um, in perfect silence.

860

: 00:39:48

But

861

: 00:39:48

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

862

: 00:39:49

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: deserve

863

: 00:39:49

Jesus too.

864

: 00:39:51

And I mean, just make a goal of

30 seconds or whatever it is.

865

: 00:39:54

And we've seen amazing

things come out of this.

866

: 00:39:57

Like, um, like my 3-year-old Neely

had five full minutes, um, in

867

: 00:40:02

front of the Blessed Sacrament.

868

: 00:40:04

Um, so give them the

869

: 00:40:06

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

870

: 00:40:07

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308:

kids are naturally religious.

871

: 00:40:10

onto these ideas and we just

need to feed it to them.

872

: 00:40:13

Um.

873

: 00:40:13

Especially when they're this young, the

main emphasis is that God completely loves

874

: 00:40:18

them, that he's the good shepherd, that

he knows them and calls them, um, by name.

875

: 00:40:23

but we also don't shy away

from like serious topics.

876

: 00:40:27

and she knows that like God is in

control of every part of life and death.

877

: 00:40:32

we, we had Justin's uncle died, um, like

a half of a year ago, and so there were

878

: 00:40:38

a lot of questions that came up then.

879

: 00:40:39

And instead of shying away from

it, it's just like, oh no, like

880

: 00:40:42

God has dominion over all of

this and he has conquered death.

881

: 00:40:46

And so we're not afraid to talk about

that even with our three-year-old.

882

: 00:40:50

And then, um, there's something called

Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, so people

883

: 00:40:56

might wanna look that up if that's in

their area, but it's kind of a Montessori

884

: 00:41:00

method of imparting faith to children

just in a really like, tactile way.

885

: 00:41:05

So they get to.

886

: 00:41:06

Um, work with different materials

that maybe they would see at mass or,

887

: 00:41:11

um, are part of salvation history,

like the story of salvation history.

888

: 00:41:17

so that's a really amazing thing to

look up if you're interested in that.

889

: 00:41:22

And I don't know, I just think

like, what is your kid's normal?

890

: 00:41:26

Like, is Catholic art in the home and

meal prayers and having pres over for

891

: 00:41:29

dinner and discussions about virtue?

892

: 00:41:31

Like, is that their normal, is

it normal for mommy to sing hymns

893

: 00:41:35

and worship songs or, what is the

atmosphere of your home and does

894

: 00:41:39

it include Christ centered things?

895

: 00:41:42

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

That is so beautiful.

896

: 00:41:43

I love your encouragement to pop into

the church or adoration for even 30

897

: 00:41:49

seconds, like I'm sure it could be

so, um, intimidating for moms who

898

: 00:41:54

have multiple babies or one baby and

just be like, I, I just can't even go

899

: 00:41:58

because I know it's gonna go badly.

900

: 00:42:00

And it's like if we just

have the understanding Yes.

901

: 00:42:03

It probably will or like it won't be

more than five minutes or 10 minutes.

902

: 00:42:09

But I love what you said, like

kids de deserve Jesus too.

903

: 00:42:12

And it's like the drive down to the church

during adoration might even be worth the

904

: 00:42:17

five minutes that you're in there or the

three minutes that you're in there and

905

: 00:42:20

then the two minutes that you're like

outside the church, like trying to recoup

906

: 00:42:24

and maybe trying to come back in for one

more minute, like that's all worth it.

907

: 00:42:27

And exposing your kids little by

little to that is so beautiful.

908

: 00:42:32

So they come to know the beauty

of our church and the gifts of the

909

: 00:42:36

sacraments and the the gifts of

the Eucharist versus like you're 12

910

: 00:42:40

years old and then finally your mom's

like, oh, you can sit for 20 minutes.

911

: 00:42:43

So like, let's take you to

meet Jesus for the first time.

912

: 00:42:46

You know?

913

: 00:42:47

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Totally.

914

: 00:42:47

It's like how can we package

this so it's attainable for

915

: 00:42:51

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Yeah.

916

: 00:42:52

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: And

like kids love pretend play too,

917

: 00:42:56

like toddlers, love, pretend play.

918

: 00:42:58

So like something we've done is at

home, it's like, okay, let's pretend

919

: 00:43:01

we're going to adoration right now.

920

: 00:43:02

Like, how do our feet sound?

921

: 00:43:03

How do our voices sound?

922

: 00:43:05

Um, what, what does our, what does

our body look like right now when

923

: 00:43:09

we're kneeling in front of Jesus?

924

: 00:43:10

Like, they'll think that

that's hilarious and fun.

925

: 00:43:13

And then they'll go and they'll

be like, oh my gosh, like, this

926

: 00:43:16

is what we practiced before.

927

: 00:43:17

Like, I'm gonna show mommy how I

928

: 00:43:19

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm.

929

: 00:43:20

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Like, they

want to please you, as their parent.

930

: 00:43:23

Like you're the image of God

for them and they want to please

931

: 00:43:25

you, which is a beautiful thing.

932

: 00:43:27

Even though sometimes they

doesn't seem like that.

933

: 00:43:28

Sometimes it seems like they don't.

934

: 00:43:30

But, um, that is the

desire of their hearts.

935

: 00:43:32

And so like practicing, um, what

the desired outcome before you

936

: 00:43:37

go is like another good to try to

937

: 00:43:40

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

Yeah, totally.

938

: 00:43:41

One thing I've noticed is that Eden,

your oldest daughter, she has like

939

: 00:43:46

a scripture verse memorized, which

is so beautiful and so impressive.

940

: 00:43:50

And also it doesn't surprise me

because I know how much you love

941

: 00:43:53

the word and how important it's for

you to read the Bible and how that.

942

: 00:43:57

is a practice that you have and

something that's in your everyday home,

943

: 00:44:01

and something that we all should adopt

more as Catholics is to know scripture.

944

: 00:44:05

So tell me, how do you make learning the

faith or scripture versus like engaging

945

: 00:44:10

and natural for them at such a young age?

946

: 00:44:13

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: Um, yes,

children have an insane ability to

947

: 00:44:15

memorize and like moms will know

this is true because they memorize

948

: 00:44:20

nursery rhymes and songs like crazy.

949

: 00:44:21

My daughter and even my 1-year-old son

have let it go like backwards and forward.

950

: 00:44:27

They could felt let it go and

a, a number of other songs.

951

: 00:44:32

So it's like, it's up to us

to provide their brains with.

952

: 00:44:36

With good things to memorize

'cause they can do it now.

953

: 00:44:39

That is the trick is like

making it engaging, I suppose.

954

: 00:44:42

Um, and one thing is just to do it

while their butts are in seats, like I

955

: 00:44:47

said, like at a mealtime or whatever.

956

: 00:44:49

Like, I often like, well I will

kinda like eat my meals before

957

: 00:44:52

or like just after they have.

958

: 00:44:54

Um, and I'll sit there and um,

we'll just talk about Bible verses.

959

: 00:44:59

Uh, she's learned, she's

learned three verses.

960

: 00:45:02

She's formally learned.

961

: 00:45:03

So again, like I'm just no expert,

but this is just like what's worked

962

: 00:45:06

for us and I've seen it and it's

like, it like makes you excited

963

: 00:45:09

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308: Mm-hmm.

964

: 00:45:10

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: more and it's

not like you have to like drill them and

965

: 00:45:13

like, okay, now say it again and whatever.

966

: 00:45:16

Like we will pick a verse.

967

: 00:45:18

I've again, these three verses

I've like picked a verse I feel

968

: 00:45:21

like she particularly means.

969

: 00:45:24

And then we'll just say it like once a

day, maybe twice a day at a mealtime.

970

: 00:45:30

And because of their ability to

memorize, they just do, they memorize

971

: 00:45:34

it and you start leaving out words.

972

: 00:45:35

Um, and they're filling 'em in, and then

you stop altogether and they just go and

973

: 00:45:40

you don't realize how much they know.

974

: 00:45:42

So like knows, um, she, we have a lot

of whining and complaining that happens.

975

: 00:45:49

Okay?

976

: 00:45:49

So she knows rejoice, always pray

without, and all circumstances

977

: 00:45:53

give thanks for this is the will

of God for you in Christ Jesus.

978

: 00:45:56

That's her first one she

979

: 00:45:57

mari-wagner_2_11-02-2025_171308:

I love that.

980

: 00:45:58

carlyn_1_11-02-2025_181308: And then

she knows which is long you guys, but

981

: 00:46:01

she knows and then it's do everything

without complaining and arguing.

982

: 00:46:05

That's a favorite of mine.

983

: 00:46:06

She needed that.

984

: 00:46:07

um, she needs, um, the steadfast

love of the Lord never ceases.

985

: 00:46:12

His mercies never come to an end.

986

: 00:46:14

They are new every morning.

987

: 00:46:15

Great.

988

: 00:46:16

Is your faithfulness like again, just

emphasizing that love of the father

989

: 00:46:19

for her, um, and I just say it line

by line and she repeats it, I will

990

: 00:46:25

say beyond that is Dana Dirksen.

991

: 00:46:29

You have to link this woman too.

992

: 00:46:31

She, um, she's a song writer.

993

: 00:46:34

I mean, she makes music and it's like

kids music, but it's not annoying.

994

: 00:46:38

Like it's not annoying kids

music, but they still like

995

: 00:46:40

it and like listening to it.

996

: 00:46:42

And it is just scripture,

like it's scripture song.

997

: 00:46:46

Um, like one little verse will be

a song like repeated in a fun way

998

: 00:46:50

with some guitar and they love it.

999

: 00:46:52

It's just like memorizing a nursery rhyme,

but you're memorizing the word of God.

: 1000

00:46:57,324 --> 00:47:00,624

And she knows so much more than those

three verses, but she doesn't know.

: 1001

00:47:00,624 --> 00:47:03,654

She knows it, um, because of this woman.

: 1002

00:47:03,954 --> 00:47:08,604

And like, yeah, she runs around the house

singing and dancing like to Disney songs.

: 1003

00:47:08,934 --> 00:47:13,284

But in the moments when I catch her,

singing to herself just absentmindedly,

: 1004

00:47:13,374 --> 00:47:16,194

um, a Dana Dirksen song, she's just

singing scripture over herself.

: 1005

00:47:16,194 --> 00:47:18,084

I'm like, rejoicing in the back.

: 1006

00:47:18,114 --> 00:47:18,984

I'm like, yes,

: 1007

00:47:19,863 --> 00:47:20,883

-: 2025

I love that.

: 1008

00:47:20,883 --> 00:47:25,323

And also, she just sounds so adorable

when she like recites these verses

: 1009

00:47:25,323 --> 00:47:27,033

in her like little toddler voice.

: 1010

00:47:27,033 --> 00:47:28,173

It's the cutest thing.

: 1011

00:47:28,605 --> 00:47:33,915

Now we know that motherhood is not just

all sunshine and rainbows, so when it

: 1012

00:47:33,915 --> 00:47:39,345

feels hard or overwhelming, you said you

have moments of like overstimulation, like

: 1013

00:47:39,345 --> 00:47:41,685

how do you invite God into those moments?

: 1014

00:47:42,571 --> 00:47:43,881

-: 2025

already touched on this, but I

: 1015

00:47:43,881 --> 00:47:49,671

just think like remembering God's

presence is like truly all it is.

: 1016

00:47:49,671 --> 00:47:53,211

Just like inviting him into the

present moment is the goal of

: 1017

00:47:53,211 --> 00:47:54,531

like the Christian walk right?

: 1018

00:47:54,531 --> 00:47:58,461

And, and praying out loud right then

and there, asking for what I need.

: 1019

00:47:58,461 --> 00:48:02,756

and then I feel like one of

like the main spiritual, like, I

: 1020

00:48:02,756 --> 00:48:04,916

guess lessons, just like themes.

: 1021

00:48:05,096 --> 00:48:08,306

One of the main spiritual themes

of motherhood for me has been like

: 1022

00:48:08,606 --> 00:48:13,736

allowing God to use my messiness to

remind me of how much I need him.

: 1023

00:48:14,006 --> 00:48:14,546

It's like.

: 1024

00:48:15,971 --> 00:48:21,011

I like find myself using an angry tone or

feeling that resentment come up and I'm

: 1025

00:48:21,011 --> 00:48:23,111

like, why can't I break this in myself?

: 1026

00:48:23,471 --> 00:48:26,921

And it's because I'm relying

on myself and I need Jesus.

: 1027

00:48:27,281 --> 00:48:31,631

And it's honestly like he

allows me, I don't know if

: 1028

00:48:31,631 --> 00:48:33,221

this is theologically correct.

: 1029

00:48:33,221 --> 00:48:33,551

Ready?

: 1030

00:48:33,851 --> 00:48:38,711

I feel like it's like he allows me

to stay messy so that I can remember.

: 1031

00:48:38,741 --> 00:48:39,971

'cause he knows that's what's good for me.

: 1032

00:48:39,971 --> 00:48:43,001

Like, so I can remember

how much I need him.

: 1033

00:48:43,391 --> 00:48:45,851

Because otherwise I'd be

like, oh, I've got this.

: 1034

00:48:45,851 --> 00:48:48,221

Like I totally can do this.

: 1035

00:48:48,221 --> 00:48:49,841

Like, I can't do this.

: 1036

00:48:50,111 --> 00:48:52,841

Um, and like, I need God.

: 1037

00:48:53,043 --> 00:48:53,433

-: 2025

: 1038

00:48:53,853 --> 00:48:54,153

Yeah.

: 1039

00:48:54,153 --> 00:48:54,933

That's beautiful.

: 1040

00:48:54,933 --> 00:48:58,023

And thank you for being just

like vulnerable about that.

: 1041

00:48:58,023 --> 00:49:00,663

And I feel like that leads

into our next question.

: 1042

00:49:00,963 --> 00:49:04,443

How do you navigate the pressure

of perfection that I feel like

: 1043

00:49:04,443 --> 00:49:07,563

a lot of Catholic moms feel like

wanting to do everything right and

: 1044

00:49:07,563 --> 00:49:09,213

and be the perfect Catholic mom.

: 1045

00:49:09,633 --> 00:49:11,463

Um, how do you navigate that?

: 1046

00:49:11,957 --> 00:49:14,777

-: 2025

is so confusing in today's world,

: 1047

00:49:15,797 --> 00:49:20,387

especially this time, like, like our

parents even did not have to deal with

: 1048

00:49:20,654 --> 00:49:25,844

same level, um, of like stress and

comparison that we have to deal with.

: 1049

00:49:26,384 --> 00:49:30,554

Um, it's not like you're just comparing

yourself, like you're comparing like,

: 1050

00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:35,204

um, your children because you want the

best for them and you you want them,

: 1051

00:49:35,204 --> 00:49:37,004

to turn out well and to love God.

: 1052

00:49:37,004 --> 00:49:38,054

And those are great goals.

: 1053

00:49:38,054 --> 00:49:40,904

But, social media's very confusing and.

: 1054

00:49:41,624 --> 00:49:44,564

We have so much access to opinions

all the time, and that's just

: 1055

00:49:44,564 --> 00:49:46,994

like, not how it's meant to be.

: 1056

00:49:47,590 --> 00:49:51,010

like you can't see what anyone

else's real life looks like.

: 1057

00:49:51,010 --> 00:49:55,550

And we've heard this before, but,

like we don't know, like what help

: 1058

00:49:55,550 --> 00:49:59,838

they're getting, how much time they

have, um, how much money they have.

: 1059

00:49:59,838 --> 00:50:05,778

There are so many factors and it is really

important to be striving for excellence.

: 1060

00:50:05,778 --> 00:50:10,008

So that's not what I'm saying is to just

like give up, like striving for excellence

: 1061

00:50:10,008 --> 00:50:11,718

and doing your best and working hard.

: 1062

00:50:12,434 --> 00:50:17,444

uh, If you've heard of the Proverbs 31

woman, she's like rising early and living

: 1063

00:50:17,444 --> 00:50:19,034

in virtue and I wanna live like that.

: 1064

00:50:19,034 --> 00:50:20,144

Like she's working hard.

: 1065

00:50:20,594 --> 00:50:23,684

Um, and there's this cultural norm on

the other side too, of people being

: 1066

00:50:23,684 --> 00:50:25,664

just like, oh, you're doing so great.

: 1067

00:50:25,664 --> 00:50:28,304

Like, to everyone all

the time, no matter how

: 1068

00:50:28,454 --> 00:50:28,734

-: 2025

: 1069

00:50:29,264 --> 00:50:31,784

-: 2025

and we will never be perfect and

: 1070

00:50:31,784 --> 00:50:34,824

our, our kids won't be perfect

and our homes won't be perfect.

: 1071

00:50:34,889 --> 00:50:35,189

but.

: 1072

00:50:35,954 --> 00:50:39,914

You just need to be trying your best,

like, and the only one who can determine

: 1073

00:50:39,914 --> 00:50:41,984

that is like you and and the Lord.

: 1074

00:50:43,604 --> 00:50:46,994

we should just like not be on

social media as much as possible.

: 1075

00:50:47,354 --> 00:50:50,009

Um, and I, I haven't deleted

social media, but it's like

: 1076

00:50:50,009 --> 00:50:52,319

off my phone 99% of the time.

: 1077

00:50:52,879 --> 00:50:56,389

Um, You do not, if you're a mom of

multiple kids, especially like you don't,

: 1078

00:50:56,719 --> 00:51:00,079

or one, one kid, you do not have time

to be like wasting on social media.

: 1079

00:51:00,079 --> 00:51:01,339

I just feel passionate about this.

: 1080

00:51:01,339 --> 00:51:03,743

Like, you don't need to veg out.

: 1081

00:51:03,743 --> 00:51:04,543

You need to rest.

: 1082

00:51:04,693 --> 00:51:07,813

And that's different than

scrolling on social media.

: 1083

00:51:08,263 --> 00:51:09,283

Um, yeah.

: 1084

00:51:10,003 --> 00:51:13,993

and when you're like letting go

of all that comparison, you start

: 1085

00:51:13,993 --> 00:51:16,573

to realize like what matters

to God and what matters to you.

: 1086

00:51:16,573 --> 00:51:20,293

And it's not always all the things

that other people are doing or buying.

: 1087

00:51:21,163 --> 00:51:23,593

and so then you're just spending

time on those things and

: 1088

00:51:23,593 --> 00:51:25,153

your benchmark is yourself.

: 1089

00:51:25,233 --> 00:51:25,353

-: 2025

: 1090

00:51:26,127 --> 00:51:26,502

-: 2025

: 1091

00:51:27,132 --> 00:51:30,372

I can fall into because I want

to do the best for my kids.

: 1092

00:51:30,372 --> 00:51:34,603

So it's easy to be like scared,

like, what's the best avenue to take?

: 1093

00:51:34,603 --> 00:51:38,503

But I mean, it just comes back to

prayer, which is a boring, but just

: 1094

00:51:38,503 --> 00:51:41,473

completely 100% true answer every time.

: 1095

00:51:41,473 --> 00:51:41,863

So I,

: 1096

00:51:41,863 --> 00:51:42,373

-: 2025

: 1097

00:51:42,373 --> 00:51:42,493

I,

: 1098

00:51:42,493 --> 00:51:44,053

mean, that's something I

say over and over again.

: 1099

00:51:44,113 --> 00:51:47,113

So people have probably heard that from

me a million times and it's so good to

: 1100

00:51:47,113 --> 00:51:49,393

have 'em hear it from someone else too.

: 1101

00:51:49,903 --> 00:51:53,953

'cause it is just always like the answer,

but it's, it's always the right answer.

: 1102

00:51:53,953 --> 00:51:54,973

It's always so powerful.

: 1103

00:51:55,663 --> 00:52:01,268

Um, are there any particular prayers

or devotions or saints that you

: 1104

00:52:01,268 --> 00:52:02,793

feel have shaped your motherhood?

: 1105

00:52:03,226 --> 00:52:03,466

-: 2025

: 1106

00:52:04,126 --> 00:52:07,546

I would say the litany of

humility is one that always

: 1107

00:52:07,546 --> 00:52:09,766

hits me emotionally every time.

: 1108

00:52:10,356 --> 00:52:13,956

Um, I find myself like craving

this recognition, especially like,

: 1109

00:52:14,256 --> 00:52:18,906

I call it like the cloistered

life of a mom, um, you feel like

: 1110

00:52:19,086 --> 00:52:21,036

people don't, don't see your work

: 1111

00:52:21,061 --> 00:52:21,481

-: 2025

: 1112

00:52:22,296 --> 00:52:25,326

-: 2025

like want that recognition from other

: 1113

00:52:25,326 --> 00:52:28,956

people, but, um, I, that's like,

again, part of that purification

: 1114

00:52:28,956 --> 00:52:34,292

process and need to be turning to

God and finding my identity in him.

: 1115

00:52:34,739 --> 00:52:37,259

Um, so that prayer helps me so much.

: 1116

00:52:37,259 --> 00:52:41,069

And then, our parish St.

: 1117

00:52:41,549 --> 00:52:41,659

Therese.

: 1118

00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:44,929

Her whole thing is little things with

great love and that's my whole dang

: 1119

00:52:45,054 --> 00:52:45,344

-: 2025

: 1120

00:52:46,009 --> 00:52:46,909

-: 2025

little things, great.

: 1121

00:52:46,909 --> 00:52:47,659

Love all day.

: 1122

00:52:48,049 --> 00:52:51,469

and then, you know,

yeah, I love the Bible.

: 1123

00:52:51,499 --> 00:52:54,229

Um, the Bible in a year,

it like helps me learn.

: 1124

00:52:54,649 --> 00:52:56,269

It gives me new insights.

: 1125

00:52:56,269 --> 00:52:58,879

It helps me when I do go to pray.

: 1126

00:52:58,879 --> 00:53:01,679

So, um, those would be

like more devotional

: 1127

00:53:01,979 --> 00:53:02,429

-: 2025

I love that.

: 1128

00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:03,119

That's beautiful.

: 1129

00:53:03,509 --> 00:53:08,309

How do you continue to like continue

to grow and be formed in your vocation?

: 1130

00:53:08,309 --> 00:53:10,979

You've mentioned this a couple times

throughout our conversation, that it's

: 1131

00:53:10,979 --> 00:53:14,699

important for you to be filled, for you

to have a relationship with God and for

: 1132

00:53:14,699 --> 00:53:18,989

you to grow in your knowledge of the

faith so that you can then share that

: 1133

00:53:18,989 --> 00:53:20,129

with your family and those around you.

: 1134

00:53:20,129 --> 00:53:22,529

So how do you continue

to Yeah, to be formed?

: 1135

00:53:23,865 --> 00:53:24,345

-: 2025

: 1136

00:53:24,350 --> 00:53:28,605

So for social media, if you're trying to.

: 1137

00:53:29,085 --> 00:53:34,335

Have less of that in your life is like

getting wisdom from older moms like,

: 1138

00:53:35,445 --> 00:53:37,905

even moms in, in your season of life.

: 1139

00:53:37,905 --> 00:53:38,445

For sure.

: 1140

00:53:38,445 --> 00:53:42,585

But, um, I love asking

older moms for their advice.

: 1141

00:53:42,915 --> 00:53:46,785

This is huge, like an in-person

interaction, um, with somebody

: 1142

00:53:46,785 --> 00:53:52,086

who, um, has gone through it, like

is huge in en encouraging you.

: 1143

00:53:52,386 --> 00:53:56,916

Um, And that just encourages me and my

vocation helps me, grow and learn more.

: 1144

00:53:56,916 --> 00:54:01,296

I like found a mom at church who I

was just like, I was just like, wow,

: 1145

00:54:01,296 --> 00:54:02,886

your kids are amazingly well behaved.

: 1146

00:54:03,006 --> 00:54:05,226

Um, they're all, you're, you're beautiful.

: 1147

00:54:05,226 --> 00:54:05,916

They're all beautiful.

: 1148

00:54:05,916 --> 00:54:07,236

Like you're all at mass on time.

: 1149

00:54:07,236 --> 00:54:09,696

I saw you at Daily Mass,

like, what are you doing?

: 1150

00:54:10,026 --> 00:54:12,846

And she's like, yeah, come over

for coffee and we'll talk about it.

: 1151

00:54:12,936 --> 00:54:14,196

And now we're like, besties.

: 1152

00:54:14,226 --> 00:54:15,696

I'm like, this is amazing.

: 1153

00:54:15,696 --> 00:54:19,926

So like, that is like the best

thing and that's just, um.

: 1154

00:54:20,571 --> 00:54:24,351

What everybody used to do, but I don't

think people are doing that anymore.

: 1155

00:54:24,351 --> 00:54:26,841

So like asking for wisdom from older moms.

: 1156

00:54:26,931 --> 00:54:29,301

And then I do love a good podcast.

: 1157

00:54:29,301 --> 00:54:29,631

Okay.

: 1158

00:54:29,631 --> 00:54:32,751

Like my kids often still

nap at the same time.

: 1159

00:54:33,561 --> 00:54:36,501

so like I listen to a

podcast while I do my chores

: 1160

00:54:36,831 --> 00:54:37,641

-: 2025

What kind of podcast?

: 1161

00:54:37,651 --> 00:54:41,191

-: 2025

I love a Christian non-Catholic podcast

: 1162

00:54:41,191 --> 00:54:45,091

called now that we are a family because

it's like this couple that are just

: 1163

00:54:45,091 --> 00:54:48,851

diving into different challenges

they're facing, in raising their kids.

: 1164

00:54:48,851 --> 00:54:50,471

And they're down the line for me.

: 1165

00:54:50,471 --> 00:54:53,561

Like they have like six

kids or something like that.

: 1166

00:54:53,861 --> 00:54:57,941

And so I get to kind of see a preview

into like, okay, what are some of the

: 1167

00:54:57,941 --> 00:55:02,561

things that I could be thinking about,

um, to look forward to in the future?

: 1168

00:55:03,041 --> 00:55:06,401

And then just like general faith

ideas, like I love Pins of Aquinas.

: 1169

00:55:06,791 --> 00:55:09,521

Um, obviously Mar's Podcast ever

: 1170

00:55:09,606 --> 00:55:10,026

-: 2025

: 1171

00:55:10,481 --> 00:55:11,741

-: 2025

You gotta listen to it.

: 1172

00:55:12,071 --> 00:55:12,941

Um.

: 1173

00:55:13,631 --> 00:55:20,291

And then of funny, like a side thing,

but like there's this podcast called Mom

: 1174

00:55:20,436 --> 00:55:20,586

-: 2025

: 1175

00:55:21,191 --> 00:55:22,181

-: 2025

it's all about having like a

: 1176

00:55:22,181 --> 00:55:23,501

positive mindset as a mother.

: 1177

00:55:23,844 --> 00:55:27,294

it's like super encouraging

and just like very positive and

: 1178

00:55:27,384 --> 00:55:28,764

often like gets me out of a rut.

: 1179

00:55:28,764 --> 00:55:29,154

So.

: 1180

00:55:29,449 --> 00:55:29,719

Oh.

: 1181

00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:33,939

And then, um, have been

doing yearly retreat.

: 1182

00:55:33,939 --> 00:55:35,289

This will be my second year.

: 1183

00:55:35,289 --> 00:55:39,919

It was really huge for me, this past

year, so I'm looking forward to it again.

: 1184

00:55:40,279 --> 00:55:43,039

I don't know how sustainable that

always is, like if you're like

: 1185

00:55:43,039 --> 00:55:44,569

nursing a new baby or whatever.

: 1186

00:55:44,569 --> 00:55:49,099

But, um, if you can, like, I got

away for two or three days and

: 1187

00:55:49,489 --> 00:55:50,599

that really made a difference.

: 1188

00:55:50,599 --> 00:55:52,399

Like a spiritual, like kind of reset.

: 1189

00:55:52,739 --> 00:55:52,949

-: 2025

: 1190

00:55:52,949 --> 00:55:53,849

That's so beautiful.

: 1191

00:55:53,849 --> 00:55:54,839

If you're able to do that.

: 1192

00:55:54,899 --> 00:55:56,639

I feel like that's, that's amazing.

: 1193

00:55:57,329 --> 00:56:01,979

Um, okay, we could talk for hours

and we know this, but at some

: 1194

00:56:01,979 --> 00:56:03,479

point we have to wrap it up.

: 1195

00:56:03,989 --> 00:56:08,909

So as we're wrapping up for the mom who

is maybe listening and feeling like, oh

: 1196

00:56:08,909 --> 00:56:10,739

my gosh, these are such amazing things.

: 1197

00:56:10,739 --> 00:56:15,209

I don't do any of these things and I'm

falling short and I'm failing, what

: 1198

00:56:15,209 --> 00:56:17,129

encouragement could you offer her?

: 1199

00:56:17,790 --> 00:56:18,090

-: 2025

: 1200

00:56:18,180 --> 00:56:21,510

Um, your discouragement is

from the devil, so let's get

: 1201

00:56:21,550 --> 00:56:21,970

-: 2025

: 1202

00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:27,450

-: 2025

trying your best, you are doing amazing.

: 1203

00:56:27,780 --> 00:56:30,390

Um, it's possible.

: 1204

00:56:30,390 --> 00:56:32,040

You, you do, it's possible.

: 1205

00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:35,940

You do need to step back and actually

write down what are the things that

: 1206

00:56:35,940 --> 00:56:40,470

are most important to me, and does

my current life like align with that?

: 1207

00:56:40,470 --> 00:56:42,030

Does my schedule align with that?

: 1208

00:56:42,060 --> 00:56:42,880

Do my finances

: 1209

00:56:43,180 --> 00:56:43,600

-: 2025

: 1210

00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:44,220

-: 2025

: 1211

00:56:44,670 --> 00:56:45,120

Um.

: 1212

00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:50,520

totally possible, and it's

okay to feel that conviction.

: 1213

00:56:50,910 --> 00:56:55,020

Um, I feel that conviction all the

time about different areas of my life.

: 1214

00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:59,070

but like condemnation

from, isn't from God.

: 1215

00:56:59,070 --> 00:57:04,020

And so we can just like set that aside

and go back to focusing on prayer

: 1216

00:57:04,020 --> 00:57:08,250

and go back to focusing on God's

mercies that are new every morning.

: 1217

00:57:08,310 --> 00:57:14,520

He loves you and he's using all things,

even your sinfulness, even really

: 1218

00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:16,195

hard things, even your failings.

: 1219

00:57:16,410 --> 00:57:18,960

He's using them for your

good because you love him.

: 1220

00:57:19,266 --> 00:57:23,766

just like continuing to pursue

the Lord in prayer is number one.

: 1221

00:57:24,186 --> 00:57:28,964

And then yeah, maybe just, maybe it is

time to do a life audit and um, see

: 1222

00:57:28,964 --> 00:57:33,404

where your energy is going to and see

what your support system looks like.

: 1223

00:57:33,824 --> 00:57:37,964

Try to use your resources in a way

that aligns with your goals and your

: 1224

00:57:37,964 --> 00:57:41,574

hopes and your dreams, for your family

and God's dreams for your family.

: 1225

00:57:41,959 --> 00:57:42,799

-: 2025

beautifully said.

: 1226

00:57:42,829 --> 00:57:43,879

Thank you, Carls.

: 1227

00:57:44,209 --> 00:57:47,059

I can't thank you enough just

for coming on here and cheering

: 1228

00:57:47,059 --> 00:57:48,559

so openly about your family.

: 1229

00:57:48,559 --> 00:57:50,179

life and your marriage.

: 1230

00:57:50,479 --> 00:57:52,639

I think it's so beautiful

for people to hear.

: 1231

00:57:53,299 --> 00:57:56,539

What a Catholic wife and mother

does who's not an influencer, right?

: 1232

00:57:56,539 --> 00:57:58,939

Like we get so many like

Catholic influencers online

: 1233

00:57:58,939 --> 00:57:59,959

sharing about their life.

: 1234

00:57:59,989 --> 00:58:03,259

And It can be really, I don't know,

sometimes maybe intimidating to be like,

: 1235

00:58:03,289 --> 00:58:06,709

well, these people are like, they have a

platform and they're sharing the best of

: 1236

00:58:06,709 --> 00:58:12,009

the best, but like to also share from, you

know, a lay person , who doesn't have a

: 1237

00:58:12,009 --> 00:58:15,999

platform and like someone who's striving

to live a Christ-centered life, um, in her

: 1238

00:58:15,999 --> 00:58:17,259

motherhood, in her marriage, in her home.

: 1239

00:58:17,259 --> 00:58:19,509

So I hope that's encouraging

to everybody else.

: 1240

00:58:20,253 --> 00:58:23,073

-: 2025

glamorous, but it's really beautiful and

: 1241

00:58:23,073 --> 00:58:25,113

I'm so thankful for the life that God

: 1242

00:58:25,228 --> 00:58:26,398

-: 2025

Yeah, that's so beautiful.

: 1243

00:58:26,398 --> 00:58:29,728

And I, I just, I've learned so

much from you and I can't wait

: 1244

00:58:29,728 --> 00:58:31,258

to be a mom and to call you up.

: 1245

00:58:31,258 --> 00:58:33,748

And it's funny 'cause you're

talking about like the moms that

: 1246

00:58:33,748 --> 00:58:37,108

are like a little bit older, even

though like you're younger than me.

: 1247

00:58:37,228 --> 00:58:38,758

but you're like two steps ahead of me.

: 1248

00:58:38,758 --> 00:58:42,478

So like, I know I'm gonna get so

much advice and wisdom and I'm

: 1249

00:58:42,478 --> 00:58:44,548

gonna be calling you up and be

like, Carlin, what did you do?

: 1250

00:58:44,548 --> 00:58:45,718

Like, so it's fun.

: 1251

00:58:45,718 --> 00:58:48,478

I, I love that you got to share

your wisdom with everybody here.

: 1252

00:58:48,478 --> 00:58:51,118

But I love that I get to have you

in my back pocket whenever I want.

: 1253

00:58:51,471 --> 00:58:56,346

-: 2025

have so much wisdom gonna, learn

: 1254

00:58:56,466 --> 00:58:59,106

and, do your own things as mom too.

: 1255

00:58:59,106 --> 00:59:02,226

And I'm gonna be coming to

you asking for advice as well.

: 1256

00:59:02,376 --> 00:59:04,686

So it's just about like

supporting each other and

: 1257

00:59:04,891 --> 00:59:05,461

-: 2025

: 1258

00:59:06,036 --> 00:59:06,966

-: 2025

I'm so thankful for you.

: 1259

00:59:07,056 --> 00:59:07,506

Thankful for.

: 1260

00:59:10,131 --> 00:59:13,611

What you're doing to build up the

body of Christ, and I'm thankful that

: 1261

00:59:13,851 --> 00:59:18,261

my daughters will have a beautiful,

um, role model to look up to as well.

: 1262

00:59:18,261 --> 00:59:19,611

That's not just their moms.

: 1263

00:59:20,041 --> 00:59:21,211

-: 2025

Oh, thank you Carls.

: 1264

00:59:21,241 --> 00:59:21,481

Thanks.

: 1265

00:59:21,481 --> 00:59:22,111

for coming on.

: 1266

00:59:22,111 --> 00:59:23,251

So happy to have you today.

: 1267

00:59:24,151 --> 00:59:26,971

-: 2025

right, let's move into ever be answers

: 1268

00:59:27,021 --> 00:59:32,481

today is gonna be a fun set of questions

for our q and a and as always, we'll

: 1269

00:59:32,481 --> 00:59:37,071

answer one on the podcast and the other

two on Patreon for our Kingdom Club

: 1270

00:59:37,071 --> 00:59:41,211

community at the after show where Trey

will be tuning in to the q and a with me.

: 1271

00:59:41,661 --> 00:59:45,501

So the three questions we're gonna

be answering today are, what are each

: 1272

00:59:45,501 --> 00:59:47,991

of your favorite weird food combos?

: 1273

00:59:48,436 --> 00:59:53,176

What's your go-to comfort show or

movie for slow nights at home and

: 1274

00:59:53,176 --> 00:59:57,246

what is your idea of a perfect

date night or day date together?

: 1275

00:59:57,726 --> 00:59:58,026

Okay.

: 1276

00:59:58,026 --> 01:00:01,986

I love these and we're excited to just

share a little bit more about who we

: 1277

01:00:01,986 --> 01:00:04,086

are and have you guys get to know us.

: 1278

01:00:04,146 --> 01:00:05,436

So, um,

: 1279

01:00:05,516 --> 01:00:09,056

Let's do, what's your go-to comfort

show or movie for Slow Nights at

: 1280

01:00:09,056 --> 01:00:10,916

Home On Ever Be Answers today?

: 1281

01:00:10,946 --> 01:00:13,676

So I will just answer for both of us.

: 1282

01:00:13,796 --> 01:00:20,276

I think for really Chill Nights at

Home, we love friends and we love New

: 1283

01:00:20,276 --> 01:00:23,756

Girl and I laugh when I think about

that because New Girl I feel like is

: 1284

01:00:23,756 --> 01:00:25,646

just the modern version of friends.

: 1285

01:00:25,706 --> 01:00:28,586

It's literally like a bunch of friends

living in an apartment together.

: 1286

01:00:29,141 --> 01:00:31,121

Sharing about their life, right?

: 1287

01:00:31,121 --> 01:00:36,101

So we essentially like the same show,

just the old version and the new version.

: 1288

01:00:36,131 --> 01:00:36,746

Um, but.

: 1289

01:00:37,526 --> 01:00:41,786

Friends and new girl like

audibly make us laugh out loud.

: 1290

01:00:41,786 --> 01:00:46,886

And especially Trey, he, he just,

oh my gosh, he'll just like laugh

: 1291

01:00:46,886 --> 01:00:50,576

so hard watching those shows, which

I just love to see him like that.

: 1292

01:00:50,576 --> 01:00:53,516

So those are really easy shows to like,

have on in the background or if we're

: 1293

01:00:53,516 --> 01:00:57,266

just like unwinding and we're like, oh,

let's just cozy up and watch a chill show,

: 1294

01:00:57,626 --> 01:00:58,806

we'll probably throw one of those two on.

: 1295

01:00:59,741 --> 01:01:03,641

Right now for the fall vibes,

we are watching Gilmore Girls.

: 1296

01:01:03,641 --> 01:01:08,771

I've already seen it, but Trey hasn't and

I convinced him to watch it with me again.

: 1297

01:01:09,221 --> 01:01:12,581

And so this is his first time

watching it and he is into it too.

: 1298

01:01:12,581 --> 01:01:15,731

He's not as into it as like

friends and new girl, but it seems

: 1299

01:01:15,731 --> 01:01:16,841

like he's like kind of into it.

: 1300

01:01:17,381 --> 01:01:18,161

Um.

: 1301

01:01:18,731 --> 01:01:25,481

In terms of movie, we don't have one

together, but for me, all growing up, like

: 1302

01:01:26,141 --> 01:01:31,301

not all growing up, but like high school,

college, and then even like the years like

: 1303

01:01:31,301 --> 01:01:36,581

post-college before I got married, uh, the

Notebook has always been my comfort movie.

: 1304

01:01:36,581 --> 01:01:37,841

Like if I'm sick.

: 1305

01:01:38,466 --> 01:01:40,626

Sad, I wanna watch the Notebook.

: 1306

01:01:40,986 --> 01:01:45,276

And I hadn't watched it in years and

just a few months ago I was doing laundry

: 1307

01:01:45,786 --> 01:01:49,716

and I don't know if it was just like

a gloomy day and maybe I was really

: 1308

01:01:49,716 --> 01:01:54,636

unmotivated about the laundry, but I

wanted to put that movie on and I did.

: 1309

01:01:54,636 --> 01:01:57,096

And it was just like so

nostalgic and happy and cozy.

: 1310

01:01:57,096 --> 01:01:59,226

So, so that's mine.

: 1311

01:01:59,586 --> 01:02:03,966

And I don't think Trey has

like a cozy movie, go-to movie.

: 1312

01:02:03,966 --> 01:02:05,736

We don't watch a lot of

movies together, honestly.

: 1313

01:02:05,826 --> 01:02:06,396

Movies.

: 1314

01:02:06,456 --> 01:02:07,866

These days kind of suck.

: 1315

01:02:08,376 --> 01:02:13,116

Um, we always go back and like watch

like two thousands movies 'cause we

: 1316

01:02:13,116 --> 01:02:16,416

just feel like they're better than

the new movies that come out today.

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01:02:16,416 --> 01:02:19,086

But anyways, yeah, that's it.

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01:02:19,446 --> 01:02:21,835

And we'll answer the

rest at the after party.