23: Your Guide to Praying Together as a Couple

Speaker: 00:00:06

Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to the ever be

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podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

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I'm so excited you're here, whether you're

a new listener or a longtime follower,

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I know there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real life conversations

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and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ centered life in today's

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modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to Ever Be.

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mari---trey_1_08-18-2024_070753:

Welcome back, everybody.

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And welcome back, Trey.

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Thank you.

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Good to be here.

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As always.

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Back for another episode.

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Um, today we're going to be

chatting about how to incorporate

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faith into your relationship as

a couple, specifically prayer.

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We feel that this has been A really like

integral part of our faith relationship

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as a married couple throughout the years.

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And even as, um, an engaged couple,

and we'll talk a little bit about like

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incorporating it into your dating.

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If you're not engaged,

you're married yet either.

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Um, and I think the more.

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We, I don't know, just live life the

more we realize this isn't like a

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normal thing that a lot of couples do,

or it's something that maybe people

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want to do, but it's kind of foreign

or it's a little bit weird for people.

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Like it's a little awkward to kind

of get, get started and get into it.

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Um, so.

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And we feel like it's so important to

learn how to pray with your spouse.

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Yeah.

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I mean, you don't just feel like it

that's, it is extremely important

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to pray with your spouse and to have

prayer be an integral part of your

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relationship, whether you're dating or

married, um, those relationships will

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look different, but prayer definitely

needs to be a foundational part of.

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Right.

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And I mean, if we go back to our goal

of having a God centered marriage,

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I mean, if you think of like, how

do you have a Christ centered life?

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I mean, you have to root yourself

in prayer and your relationship

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with God is developed through

intentional daily prayer.

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And so in a similar way to really have

a God centered marriage, to really

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have your marriage be rooted in God.

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You know what the Holy Spirit's calling

you to do and the way the Lord wants you

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to live out a good and Holy marriage.

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You have to know the Lord

together as a couple and you

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have to invite the Lord into your

relationship via prayer as a couple.

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So that's what we're

going to get into today.

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And I'm excited.

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Let's get started.

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Okay.

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We'll start off in a prayer.

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In the Father, in the

Son, in the Holy Spirit.

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Amen.

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I'm Holy Spirit.

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Heavenly Father, we give you

praise and thanks this morning.

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We thank you for.

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Always that you love us,

always that you bless us.

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Thank you for my marriage with Mari.

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Thank you for our families

and for our health.

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Thank you for this podcast and the ways

that you are using Mari and I to spread

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your love and to lead people to you.

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We pray that.

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The words on this, our words on

this podcast today will be your

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words that you'll inspire us,

that you'll send your Holy spirit

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into our hearts to fill our minds.

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I would pray for protection, uh, over

the equipment and the technology today.

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Uh, that'll be a smooth recording

and that, uh, we pray for all

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the listeners that there'll be

blessed by this podcast and that.

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Uh, you'll give them the grace to

integrate prayer into their marriage

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and their relationships and they marry.

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We trust all this to you.

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In Jesus name.

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We pray.

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Thanks babe.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Where are we starting?

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I think we start with

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before you can begin to pray as a

couple, you have to be praying yourself.

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Uh, that is primary.

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Uh, and so if you're not

praying, you're not praying.

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And you don't have your own individual

relationship with God and you're

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not having daily prayer yourself.

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I start there.

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Uh, you've recorded a

podcast or two on prayer.

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I know.

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Yeah.

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At least two.

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I know.

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I know there's one full one that like

breaks down, I think more of like the

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catechesis of theology on like the

importance of prayer and what prayer is.

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And then I think one of the more

recent ones was literally just like

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breakdown ways to have a prayer routine

consistently, like minute by minute.

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Very practical.

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Yeah.

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So go listen to those.

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Go listen to those.

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But that's first.

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If you're not praying

yourself, start there.

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Yeah.

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It's most important.

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Yeah.

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And when we're talking about prayer, if

you haven't heard those other episodes,

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we're talking about like sustained

time in silence with God and either

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that's you literally being silent and

allowing for God to speak into your

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life or you spending time in quiet,

personal prayer, journaling, reading

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scripture, speaking to God on your own,

like mental prayer, um, that's truly.

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What prayer looks like.

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That's truly how you

develop that relationship.

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So as Catholics, we're so used to those

rope prayers, which are good and beautiful

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and still should be prayed, but just

praying a hail Mary or in our father,

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isn't the extent that your prayer can go.

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And isn't the extent that your

relationship with the father can go.

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So just wanted to make that note.

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Yeah.

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And praying as you fall asleep

or thinking about God while you

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drive is good, but it's not.

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It's not, it's not, you're

still missing the point there.

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It's not, it shouldn't be the

extent of your prayer life.

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Yeah.

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Um, somebody told us last night

that, uh, God, God doesn't

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think of you as an afterthought.

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You shouldn't think of

God as an afterthought.

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So don't have God as the afterthought

of Um, praying in the car, like, Oh,

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like a toss up prayer before you go to

sleep, make intentional time for him.

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So start there.

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Yeah.

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And my, my challenge here

specifically, I think we hear a lot.

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I mean, we've said it ourselves, we've

fallen into this as well, but like, it's

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very common to hear people say, yeah,

my faith is my number one priority.

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It's like the, the, the most important

thing in my life to me is my faith.

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But if you're not praying.

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How is that really true?

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That's my question, right?

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If you're not actually, if you don't

actually have a committed daily prayer

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life or striving for one, right?

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If you're not striving for one and

striving to know Jesus truly in a personal

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relationship, is that really true?

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Is your faith, is Jesus, is

your relationship with Jesus

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really number one in your life?

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Because we make time for the

things that we find important.

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So we find time to scroll on our phones.

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We find time to work.

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We find time to go out with

friends, you know, travel,

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whatever it is you find important.

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And so I just want to challenge you

there and feel like if, if you feel

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that way in your life, if you've

said that in your life, you know,

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How is that actually playing out?

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Because I think that's the hardest part

is actually recognizing like, what does it

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look like to put Jesus first in my life?

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And I would, I would say it

starts with daily prayer.

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Absolutely.

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And don't get us wrong.

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Like it's hard and it's very challenging

and we fail all the time, but we're always

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on the struggle bus with prayer, but

we're always trying to incorporate it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Absolutely.

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Yeah.

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It's all about getting back up.

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So praying as a couple.

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Okay.

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So I think let's just talk a little

bit about like how we even started

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incorporating into our life, like

how it actually just naturally

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incorporated into our relationship.

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Do it.

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Okay.

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So when we.

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We're dating.

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There was the summer kind of in

those first few months of our dating

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relationship where we both went and

did internships or mission type,

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uh, like work for that summer.

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You were at life team for

the summer in Georgia.

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And I was doing an internship with focus

here out in Colorado for the summer.

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And that was kind of our

first real exposure to this

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like amazing Catholic world.

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And, you know, Kind of the first time we

started to live, like, vibrant Catholic

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lives, like, Christ centered lives.

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We didn't really know what

that looked like before then.

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And one thing that we both experienced

was prayer with other people.

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At least, I don't think I'd

ever experienced that before.

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Like At least not to the extent.

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I don't know if I'd ever really

had anybody Pray for me like that.

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Like maybe in youth group, the leader

would like pray us out or pray us in,

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but that summer, I mean, I not only

experienced like Bible study with other

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people, like talking about scripture with

other people, but at the same time, um,

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people also offering to like, pray over

me and like pray for specific intentions

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and do like intercessory prayer.

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And so that was a really cool experience

because the Holy Spirit was a.

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Part of the Trinity that I

was very unfamiliar with.

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I think, um, I think I always kind

of had a relationship with the

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father and then was kind of working

on my relationship with Jesus.

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And the Holy Spirit was just kind of this,

like, elusive thing that was happening.

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And I think that's the

case for a lot of people.

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And so people were like, let's invite

the Holy Spirit into our prayer.

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Like, let's pray intercessory prayer.

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And, um, I think it was really good

to kind of have that experience

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apart from each other, because it

kind of normalized it a little bit.

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Yeah, and I, and I mean, like, we

learned how to do it on our own first.

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Yeah, yeah, exactly.

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Cause I think it's, you can

definitely learn together and that's

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beautiful, but I think it helps to.

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That was just our experience.

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Yeah, that was our experience.

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It's like, we learned how

to pray individually and we

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were able to do it together.

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Yeah, and so then when we came back to

campus after that summer, I mean, we

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were talking about all these experiences

all throughout the summer together.

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And then when we came back to campus, um,

I think it was our mentor friend, Jeremy,

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or either it was just us reflecting from

the summer who encouraged us to like.

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Continue to pray with each other.

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Um, well, at that point we were already

discerning engagement and that's something

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like as your relationship is progressing,

it's more and more important to

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incorporate prayer into your relationship.

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And so, yeah, we were encouraged by

mentors to make sure that prayer was a

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foundational aspect of our relationship.

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And so then we kind of

just started trying.

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Yeah.

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So what did that look like?

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Well, I remember us doing two things.

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I remember us praying with scripture.

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I remember that like, I think it was

like every other Thursday morning

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there was a stretch where you would

come over to my house and we would

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pick a chapter in the gospels.

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What?

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That's great.

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I don't remember that.

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You don't remember that?

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I remember praying with

scripture together.

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I don't remember that.

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It was every other Thursday.

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After this summer or that one summer,

like we were praying scripture before

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this because we were both in that like.

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Gospels class where we like our

homework was to pray scripture.

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So that was a unique part of our

relationship where we were like

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reading scripture together from like

day one before we were even dating.

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But then after the summer, I know

that we were like intentional

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about praying it together.

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And so I remember it was like Thursday

mornings, you would come over and

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I'm not saying we did this for like

months on end, but like there were

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several times on Thursday mornings

where you would come over and we

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would like pray with scripture.

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I love that you know,

because it's Thursdays.

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Feel like it was a Thursday.

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That's great.

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Um, Hey, women with the berries gatherers.

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So like we have good memories,

you know, it was, it was real.

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And, and so I think like one of us

would open in prayer and just like,

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ask like God to be present and to

like speak to us through his word.

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We would pick a piece of scripture,

kind of like chat about it,

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pray with it and then close out.

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And then there were also times when.

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One of us felt like we needed, like,

particular prayer intentions to

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be prayed over that then we would

pray with each other for, um, I'm

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just trying to think of examples.

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Um, if we were starting a big decision,

or if we were feeling really stressed

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or anxious about something, or if there

was just something going on in our

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lives that we were just struggling with.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And since we weren't discerning

engagement, I remember praying

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us us praying about that a lot.

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Like maybe after a date night or

something, we'd be just in the car and

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be like, okay, like, let's just pray.

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And you just pray.

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Pray in the car for like God's

discernment to be clear for our

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discernment to be clear and God's

will to be clear and Just what yeah,

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whatever was going on in our lives Yeah,

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and I think that at first it was

like maybe a little bit awkward at

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times Like when we were first getting

into it like it wasn't like Boom.

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You know how to do this.

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And it's like fireworks and

the Holy Spirit's just flowing.

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Like, I feel like, and there's kind

of awkward at first learning and

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just kind of, yeah, that's what

I would describe it as awkward.

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So let's talk about

like, why is it awkward?

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Right?

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Because that's just a true fact.

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And you hear that a lot from people that

like, probably the number one thing that

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prevents couples from praying is, It's

either they don't know how or they're

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just not really comfortable doing it.

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They feel awkward.

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They feel like I'm not doing it right

or I don't know how to initiate it or

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I feel like nervous that I don't know,

like my spouse is gonna not want to

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do it with me or judge the way I say

things or like maybe you just like

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don't even know how to say things.

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You kind of get stage fright

when you're on the spot, right?

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So, uh, that's how you feel.

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I think everybody has felt that.

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Yeah.

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You're not alone.

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And I think that like, it's

important to point that out because

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I remember this mentor that we were

talking about that like kind of

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encouraged us to incorporate prayer.

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He would tell us prayer

is more intimate than sex.

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And so like, if you can't pray together,

like, how are you coming together?

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In the sacrament of marriage,

like this is the most intimate

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form of your relationship.

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And so I think there is something

about it being awkward that shows

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like there's a sacredness to it.

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There's, um, you're burying

your souls to each other.

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Exactly.

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Like you're burying your

souls to each other.

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So yeah, there's a level of intimacy

that happens when you pray together.

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Yeah.

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So it's okay if it feels weird and

it's okay if it feels like not normal

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or awkward, like that's normal, but

I promise you the more you do it,

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the more comfortable you'll feel.

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It's just like learning any new skill.

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It's not going to feel natural at first.

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You're going to have some learning

pains, but it's important.

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And so if you stick with it,

it will become more natural.

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So.

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What are ways, like the easy, natural ways

to incorporate prayer into a relationship?

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Yeah.

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Should we just start with practicals?

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Like, and let's just start with like easy

to more advanced, if you will, you know?

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And so we'll start off with the really

basic ones that you can, if this is

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something that's totally new to you,

or maybe you've tried to incorporate

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it into your relationship and your

significant other or your spouse is like.

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Pretty against it or like nervous

about it or not open to it.

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I think these easy stepping stone

practical tips will like help you kind

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of like slowly get into it because

you can do this because you can do it.

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So number one would be blessing

the meal, like praying over

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your food before you eat.

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That's something that.

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A lot of Catholics, most Catholics,

most Christians know how to do even

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: 00:16:05

just like, if you've never prayed

it out loud yourself, even just

327

: 00:16:09

from the standpoint of like, you

know, what's supposed to be said.

328

: 00:16:12

Thank you for this food.

329

: 00:16:13

Thank you for my family.

330

: 00:16:14

Like please bless this food, Lord.

331

: 00:16:16

Right.

332

: 00:16:17

Yeah.

333

: 00:16:17

Like you don't, there is

the bless us at Lord prayer.

334

: 00:16:20

Yeah.

335

: 00:16:20

You're welcome to use that.

336

: 00:16:22

And pray out loud with each other.

337

: 00:16:23

Don't just say it in your head, but you

don't have to, like that is not required.

338

: 00:16:27

You can literally say whatever

you want, like food for those

339

: 00:16:31

who don't have any, whatever.

340

: 00:16:33

And so, and there's something so impactful

about having the man lead in this aspect.

341

: 00:16:40

And so this is a great practical way for.

342

: 00:16:43

Him to be start getting comfortable.

343

: 00:16:45

I think like comfortable leading

and initiating it himself.

344

: 00:16:48

Yeah.

345

: 00:16:48

And so just like encouraging him to

be the one to pray and Thanksgiving

346

: 00:16:54

and bless the food in his own words.

347

: 00:16:56

Yeah.

348

: 00:16:57

Yeah.

349

: 00:16:57

You can, yeah, definitely start

with the, bless us a Lord prayer

350

: 00:17:01

if you want, but you could graduate

into just praying out loud.

351

: 00:17:05

Just like, thank you for this food

pray that it nurtures our body.

352

: 00:17:09

We pray for those who go without today.

353

: 00:17:11

I think for all of our blessings, amen.

354

: 00:17:13

Amen.

355

: 00:17:14

Exactly.

356

: 00:17:15

And as women, as wives, like be

encouraging of that, be supportive.

357

: 00:17:21

Don't be critical about it.

358

: 00:17:22

Don't be like, Oh, like you

should say this in your prayer.

359

: 00:17:25

You shouldn't say it that way.

360

: 00:17:26

You know, like, just like be loving

and encouraging and thank him for

361

: 00:17:31

leading in that prayer and slowly.

362

: 00:17:33

You'll build him up to have that

confidence to lead you both in

363

: 00:17:36

prayer and kind of bigger ways.

364

: 00:17:38

Yeah.

365

: 00:17:38

It's a great stepping stone to be

comfortable praying on your own,

366

: 00:17:42

like with free prayers as opposed

to just reciting the road prayers.

367

: 00:17:47

Yeah.

368

: 00:17:48

I think that's the other reason.

369

: 00:17:49

And we've touched on a little

bit why people feel a little bit

370

: 00:17:52

uncomfortable is like, you A lot of

times you can be self conscious about

371

: 00:17:55

like how you're praying out loud.

372

: 00:17:58

And if you're saying the right words

or beautiful words or not, and the

373

: 00:18:01

reality is like, you can't pray wrong.

374

: 00:18:03

Yeah.

375

: 00:18:03

You can't pray wrong.

376

: 00:18:04

You really can't pray wrong.

377

: 00:18:06

And whether you are like super poetic

in your prayer or super basic in

378

: 00:18:10

your prayer, it has the same effect.

379

: 00:18:13

The Lord loves it all.

380

: 00:18:15

It's not like one prayer is more

powerful or better than the other.

381

: 00:18:18

So don't get caught up in that.

382

: 00:18:20

And Just talk as if you're

talking to somebody else.

383

: 00:18:24

Just like, don't get caught up in like

fancy language when you're praying.

384

: 00:18:27

Okay.

385

: 00:18:27

Another example of times in your life

when you can just incorporate prayer very

386

: 00:18:32

naturally is we do it when we travel.

387

: 00:18:35

So anytime we're on a plane and a plane

is taking off, we'll just lean over

388

: 00:18:38

to each other and just pray out loud.

389

: 00:18:41

That's, we just free pray.

390

: 00:18:42

We usually alternate.

391

: 00:18:43

Yeah.

392

: 00:18:44

We'll just take turns.

393

: 00:18:44

But then I encourage you, especially

at the beginning to initiate it.

394

: 00:18:48

Even if you don't, aren't the one that's

saying the it's like, Lean over to your

395

: 00:18:52

wife or your girlfriend, fiance, and

say like, Hey, can you pray, like, at

396

: 00:18:56

least be the one to initiate it and then

just pray like for like, like, Lord,

397

: 00:19:02

we pray that you keep us safe on these

travels that you pray for the pilot that

398

: 00:19:06

he'll be able to fly the plane safely.

399

: 00:19:09

It's great for all those other

people that are traveling.

400

: 00:19:12

Like, thank you for the

opportunity to be on this trip.

401

: 00:19:15

That's it.

402

: 00:19:15

Yeah.

403

: 00:19:15

Literally take 10 seconds.

404

: 00:19:18

Um, you can do it for

when you're on the plane.

405

: 00:19:20

You can do it when you're

going on road trips, you do

406

: 00:19:22

it anytime you get in the car.

407

: 00:19:24

Uh, but those are just kind of like, we

do it anytime we go on a road trip, just

408

: 00:19:27

like bless this trip, bless the road,

bless our car and the vehicles around us.

409

: 00:19:32

Thank you for giving us

this opportunity to travel.

410

: 00:19:35

Yeah, those are very easy

ways to with meals and with.

411

: 00:19:39

Traveling that's the Mari likes

to call it habit stacking.

412

: 00:19:43

Other people have called it that as well,

where you're just incorporating something

413

: 00:19:47

into something you're already doing.

414

: 00:19:48

So for something you want to learn

how to do, just incorporate it,

415

: 00:19:51

stack it on top of an activity that

you're already doing in your life.

416

: 00:19:54

And so you're already getting in the car.

417

: 00:19:55

You're already on the plane.

418

: 00:19:56

Like just have those be indicators or

markers to be like, Oh, let's pray.

419

: 00:20:00

Yeah.

420

: 00:20:00

So those are just two very, very simple.

421

: 00:20:04

Yeah, I think maybe the next level

could be like praying a rosary together.

422

: 00:20:10

Yeah.

423

: 00:20:11

Because I think what, what makes

it easy about the rosary is that

424

: 00:20:15

the prayers are given to you.

425

: 00:20:17

And so like, you're not

worried or, you know.

426

: 00:20:20

Feeling self conscious about like how

you're praying or what words you're

427

: 00:20:23

saying, the words are given to you.

428

: 00:20:25

And I think where you could kind of

like incorporate a little bit more

429

: 00:20:28

of that, like prayer together is

like speaking your intentions out

430

: 00:20:31

loud at the beginning of the rosary.

431

: 00:20:34

Um, that's a level of vulnerability

to kind of share what's on your heart,

432

: 00:20:37

what you want prayers for without

actually having to be like, You

433

: 00:20:41

praying for your spouse out loud yet.

434

: 00:20:43

So, you know, your attention could just

be like, Hey, I've just been like having

435

: 00:20:47

a really rough time at work, feeling

like just inadequate about myself.

436

: 00:20:51

Like just put prayer for confidence

and for, you know, whatever it is

437

: 00:20:55

that you're looking for, or maybe you

have a family member who's struggling,

438

: 00:20:57

whatever you feel like you want

to Want prayers for in your life?

439

: 00:21:01

Just speak them out loud.

440

: 00:21:02

I actually love that, that I feel like

most times when we're, uh, talking about

441

: 00:21:07

intercessions that we were praying for,

like for the beginning of a rosary or

442

: 00:21:11

when other people are asking like, Hey,

like, what do you need prayers for?

443

: 00:21:14

We oftentimes most go to, Oh,

pray for my mom, pray for my

444

: 00:21:21

friend, pray for this, like other

people, which don't get me wrong.

445

: 00:21:25

Those are great.

446

: 00:21:25

But especially when you're praying

with your spouse or significant other,

447

: 00:21:29

Like share the things that are on

your heart that you specifically need

448

: 00:21:33

prayers for, because that's a beautiful

way to just like baby step, like dip

449

: 00:21:38

your toes into sharing that part of

your heart, part of your heart more.

450

: 00:21:41

And then you don't have, then you're

just, you lean on the rosary, the power

451

: 00:21:45

of the rosary and you say that together.

452

: 00:21:48

So I love that as like the next step, I

would say the third or like, uh, I don't

453

: 00:21:54

know what number we're on, but the next

level is every morning, every night.

454

: 00:22:00

Pick one to start with, do both if you

can, but start and end your days in

455

: 00:22:05

prayer, same thing like praying before

meals or praying when you travel.

456

: 00:22:11

It can be so simple.

457

: 00:22:12

Don't overcomplicate this.

458

: 00:22:15

You can take turns doing it.

459

: 00:22:16

But literally just say like,

ask the Lord, like what you're

460

: 00:22:21

thankful for, what's on your heart.

461

: 00:22:23

Yeah.

462

: 00:22:23

What you're struggling with.

463

: 00:22:24

Yeah.

464

: 00:22:25

I get it.

465

: 00:22:26

Intentions you have for

yourself and for other people.

466

: 00:22:29

I, I am trying to remember what, like

the acronym was for it, but I feel like

467

: 00:22:34

growing up we learned something love,

like, like praise petition, you know,

468

: 00:22:41

there's also like the pirate prayer.

469

: 00:22:43

Okay.

470

: 00:22:43

What is the primary?

471

: 00:22:45

Okay.

472

: 00:22:45

Say what that is.

473

: 00:22:46

I don't know.

474

: 00:22:47

It's.

475

: 00:22:47

It's like adoration.

476

: 00:22:48

Okay.

477

: 00:22:50

Then a bunch of ours.

478

: 00:22:53

That was so unhelpful.

479

: 00:22:54

Respect.

480

: 00:22:55

I mean, I'm going to look it

up right now, but I mean, they

481

: 00:23:00

all are basically the same.

482

: 00:23:01

It's adoration or praise petition.

483

: 00:23:06

Uh, Thanksgiving.

484

: 00:23:07

Okay.

485

: 00:23:07

I've got it.

486

: 00:23:08

I'm looking up an acronym

on my phone and, um.

487

: 00:23:11

The one the A.

488

: 00:23:12

R.

489

: 00:23:12

R.

490

: 00:23:13

1 is 1 that we can do, but the

1 that I've heard most is acts.

491

: 00:23:18

Yes, I do.

492

: 00:23:19

So it's a stands for adoration.

493

: 00:23:22

C.

494

: 00:23:22

confession T.

495

: 00:23:24

Thanksgiving and S.

496

: 00:23:25

supplication.

497

: 00:23:26

And so.

498

: 00:23:27

acts.

499

: 00:23:28

This is a really easy way to

remember kind of like how, what

500

: 00:23:32

I could say in my prayer time.

501

: 00:23:34

Right.

502

: 00:23:35

And you can honestly like use this

framework for a two minute prayer, five

503

: 00:23:38

minute prayer and a 30 minute prayer.

504

: 00:23:40

Um, it's just about what goes in order.

505

: 00:23:42

And again, there's no right or wrong or

wrong way, but if you're stuck and don't

506

: 00:23:45

know how to pray and don't know what to

say, this is a really great framework.

507

: 00:23:48

So one.

508

: 00:23:50

A stands for adoration.

509

: 00:23:52

So acknowledge God in and

praise him and just love him.

510

: 00:23:56

I mean, Trey, when he started out today's

prayer, he said like the heavenly father.

511

: 00:24:00

And I think you were saying, you

said something like, we praise

512

: 00:24:02

you and we love you just kind of

like a moment of adoration and

513

: 00:24:06

thinking the Lord for who he is.

514

: 00:24:08

Then it's C confession.

515

: 00:24:10

And this can be time when you just,

Um, ask the Lord for forgiveness for

516

: 00:24:15

maybe ways that you acted wrongly

throughout the day or, um, didn't

517

: 00:24:20

live according to like his plan for

you or, or a Christ centered life.

518

: 00:24:26

That's a good way to put it.

519

: 00:24:27

Yeah.

520

: 00:24:27

Um, tease for Thanksgiving.

521

: 00:24:29

So then spend time thinking the

Lord for his blessings in your life.

522

: 00:24:33

Thank you for my family, for our home,

for our food, our health, whatever

523

: 00:24:39

it is that you're thankful for.

524

: 00:24:40

Amen.

525

: 00:24:40

Amen.

526

: 00:24:40

Easy things, easy things you guys.

527

: 00:24:42

And then S you end with supplication.

528

: 00:24:44

And this is a request or

a petition in your life.

529

: 00:24:48

Um, a specific intention that

you're hoping to pray for, whether

530

: 00:24:52

it's for yourself or people in

your life or for your marriage.

531

: 00:24:56

So that's a great framework.

532

: 00:24:59

You don't have to be confined

to that if you don't want to,

533

: 00:25:01

but if you feel stuck, acts.

534

: 00:25:05

So you can do that.

535

: 00:25:06

We were talking about, you can

do that in the morning and night

536

: 00:25:09

when you're praying together.

537

: 00:25:10

Um, I feel like that kind of

starts getting into like, you know,

538

: 00:25:14

a five minute prayer together.

539

: 00:25:17

Yeah.

540

: 00:25:17

If that like two to five minutes

before you go to sleep or when you

541

: 00:25:20

wake up off of the day of the Lord.

542

: 00:25:22

Before we go to sleep, it's a great

time to reflect on the day, give

543

: 00:25:25

thanks, um, and always be asking

the Lord for what's on your heart.

544

: 00:25:30

Yeah.

545

: 00:25:31

Okay.

546

: 00:25:31

Next practical step that is a little

bit more involved, I think, would

547

: 00:25:36

be praying with scripture together.

548

: 00:25:37

I would say one before that it's real

quick that is really good and powerful

549

: 00:25:42

is just going to adoration together.

550

: 00:25:44

You don't even have to speak

out loud to each other.

551

: 00:25:46

Like just sit next to each other.

552

: 00:25:49

In the presence of our Lord

and be praying together.

553

: 00:25:52

That's great.

554

: 00:25:53

You don't have to say anything out loud.

555

: 00:25:54

Uh, but I would just throw that in there.

556

: 00:25:56

That's so important.

557

: 00:25:57

I think that's beautiful.

558

: 00:25:58

And yeah, you're just in front of the

Lord together and letting him do the work.

559

: 00:26:02

So just go to adoration together, sit

in silence, 20, 30 minutes, an hour.

560

: 00:26:07

That's another option.

561

: 00:26:07

Yeah.

562

: 00:26:08

And just have like your

own personal prayer time.

563

: 00:26:10

Yeah.

564

: 00:26:10

But doing it alongside your

spouse, it makes a difference.

565

: 00:26:14

Okay.

566

: 00:26:15

So then we'll be praying

scripture together.

567

: 00:26:17

So Why don't you talk about kind of

like, yeah, how people can do this.

568

: 00:26:21

I would go back to Mari's episode

where she prays with scripture.

569

: 00:26:27

It's called like, Bible study with Mari.

570

: 00:26:29

That's just a very tangible

example of a way to pray with

571

: 00:26:31

scripture, like so divina.

572

: 00:26:33

And you can just do that with your spouse.

573

: 00:26:36

Like literally I was at this talk too.

574

: 00:26:39

I can't remember who was giving

this talk, but like every morning

575

: 00:26:44

he comes downstairs, makes a cup

of coffee for him and his wife.

576

: 00:26:49

And then You know, five, 10 minutes later,

the wife will trickle on downstairs and

577

: 00:26:56

the Bible will be on the kitchen table.

578

: 00:26:58

There'll be two cups of coffee and

they'll just be tired, like maybe

579

: 00:27:03

hangry or just like waking up, like not

like doing anything beautiful or like

580

: 00:27:08

doing anything like performance based.

581

: 00:27:10

It's literally just like

showing up, showing up.

582

: 00:27:13

And they just, whether they're going

through a book or just the daily readings

583

: 00:27:17

or the daily gospel, and you just read it

together, like, you just read it together

584

: 00:27:23

and maybe sit some time in silence.

585

: 00:27:27

If you're doing like Alexio form,

read a couple of times and just sit

586

: 00:27:30

in silence together with scripture.

587

: 00:27:33

And then if anything sticks out to

you, like a certain phrase, just

588

: 00:27:37

share that and why it stuck out

to you with your significant other

589

: 00:27:42

and then end in just like a prayer

Thanksgiving and, and I don't know

590

: 00:27:47

that you have any suggestions on that.

591

: 00:27:48

No, I mean, I think this is such a

beautiful exercise to do together because

592

: 00:27:53

I think it opens up a little bit of a

deeper level of vulnerability to dive into

593

: 00:27:59

scripture together and talk about like,

what is resonating with you, but at the

594

: 00:28:04

same time, you're just letting it out.

595

: 00:28:06

God do the work because

scripture is, is a living word.

596

: 00:28:10

It is applicable to your life in so

many different parts of your life.

597

: 00:28:15

Honestly, every time you read scripture,

it's gonna hit different and it's

598

: 00:28:19

going to speak differently to you.

599

: 00:28:20

And so you're really just allowing the

Lord to speak to you and you're just.

600

: 00:28:25

Kind of recapping what you're feeling.

601

: 00:28:27

Yeah.

602

: 00:28:27

Literally you're letting the

Lord be the one inspired word.

603

: 00:28:30

You just have to repeat what he says.

604

: 00:28:33

Yes.

605

: 00:28:33

And I do recommend like when

you're sitting down to pray,

606

: 00:28:36

having one of you open in prayer

and invite the Lord into it.

607

: 00:28:40

Um, the Lord is always with

us, but he wants to be invited.

608

: 00:28:42

He wants to be acknowledged

and invited into our prayer

609

: 00:28:45

and into relationship with him.

610

: 00:28:46

And so start out with just

being like, come Holy spirit.

611

: 00:28:49

We always invite the Holy spirit is just,

Powerful and gives us the words to pray.

612

: 00:28:55

And it allows us to, I feel like

kind of like remove these, like

613

: 00:28:59

more fleshly layers and just be more

of like in tune with our soul and

614

: 00:29:05

really like hear the word of God.

615

: 00:29:06

So invite the Holy Spirit to be like

Holy Spirit, come Holy Spirit, um, teach

616

: 00:29:12

us to pray with the scripture today and

just allow God's word to be clear to us.

617

: 00:29:16

Like, what does he want to

speak to us in our life?

618

: 00:29:19

And then just read.

619

: 00:29:20

Read together and have

some moments of silence.

620

: 00:29:24

It's okay to have some moments of silence.

621

: 00:29:25

And then you kind of just ask

like, Hey, what stood out to you?

622

: 00:29:28

You don't have to like, ask like, what

theologically do you think this means?

623

: 00:29:31

Just literally what stood out to you?

624

: 00:29:32

Like literally you don't have to recap.

625

: 00:29:34

Like what we're not asking you to

interpret what God's trying to teach.

626

: 00:29:38

You know, it's just like, what word.

627

: 00:29:41

Moved your heart.

628

: 00:29:42

What resonated with you or how can you

apply what was read to your day that day?

629

: 00:29:48

Yeah, why do you think

it stood out to you?

630

: 00:29:49

Do you think the lord's trying

to do something in your life?

631

: 00:29:52

Like do you think he's trying to

speak something in your life or

632

: 00:29:55

is there a decision that you're

weighing on your heart heavily?

633

: 00:29:58

and And this scripture kind of

gave some insight to what to do

634

: 00:30:03

and discussing that together.

635

: 00:30:06

And then ending with a prayer of

Thanksgiving, like, thank you, Lord,

636

: 00:30:09

for speaking to us through your word.

637

: 00:30:11

Thank you for giving us your word.

638

: 00:30:13

Um, thank you for my spouse and

how I'm able to just seek truth and

639

: 00:30:17

relationship with you with my spouse.

640

: 00:30:19

And amen.

641

: 00:30:20

Yeah.

642

: 00:30:20

I think the biggest, biggest, biggest

thing that we're trying to communicate,

643

: 00:30:24

um, is is don't overcomplicate it.

644

: 00:30:28

There's no right way to do it.

645

: 00:30:30

It can be so, so simple,

but it's so powerful.

646

: 00:30:35

It's so powerful in bringing

you and your spouse together.

647

: 00:30:38

And it's so powerful.

648

: 00:30:39

And like I said, inviting God into

your marriage, you can be Catholic,

649

: 00:30:45

you can be baptized Catholics that

go to Sunday mass every Sunday

650

: 00:30:48

and maybe even do other things.

651

: 00:30:50

But if you're not actively inviting

God into your relationship,

652

: 00:30:55

it's going to look different.

653

: 00:30:57

practical step that I feel like is.

654

: 00:31:00

Maybe the top tier level, would you say?

655

: 00:31:03

Yeah, it's at least the

most intimate level.

656

: 00:31:05

Yes, would be intercessory

prayer with each other.

657

: 00:31:08

So this looks like praying with

each other out loud for the specific

658

: 00:31:14

intentions your spouse is asking for.

659

: 00:31:16

Yeah, so it would be me interceding

for Mari for whatever it is.

660

: 00:31:21

That's going on in her heart.

661

: 00:31:22

A lot of the times in like Christian

and even Catholic circles, you hear

662

: 00:31:27

it as like praying over each other.

663

: 00:31:29

I've heard back and forth

things on whether this is

664

: 00:31:31

like an accurate term or not.

665

: 00:31:33

You're just praying with each

other for each other, but.

666

: 00:31:36

Um, if that kind of clears up what we're

talking about, I know some people know

667

: 00:31:39

it as like praying over each other.

668

: 00:31:40

So, um, practically what this looks

like, for example, if I'm like

669

: 00:31:45

super anxious about something that's

happening in our lives, I'll be like,

670

: 00:31:49

Trey, like, here's how I'm feeling.

671

: 00:31:52

I'm like feeling super anxious.

672

: 00:31:53

I'm stuck.

673

: 00:31:54

I'm lost.

674

: 00:31:55

Like, this is how I feel in

my relationship with God.

675

: 00:31:57

Like, I don't know where he is.

676

: 00:31:59

I don't know what to do.

677

: 00:32:01

Can you pray for me?

678

: 00:32:02

Yeah, I think sharing a few specific

things, like, try to be specific.

679

: 00:32:10

Don't be so vague where you're like,

hey, can you just pray for me right now?

680

: 00:32:12

Um, like share a couple specific

things that are on your heart.

681

: 00:32:18

Hey, I'm feeling anxious.

682

: 00:32:19

Hey, I just feel really

lost, confused with God.

683

: 00:32:22

I don't have a desire to pray.

684

: 00:32:25

Like, and then can you pray

for me for those things?

685

: 00:32:27

And then, um, like I'll

just put my hand on Mari.

686

: 00:32:31

Like, we'll just start in prayer.

687

: 00:32:33

And then I just ask like, how many

fire we thank you for a daughter, Mari.

688

: 00:32:40

I just pray that.

689

: 00:32:41

Yeah.

690

: 00:32:41

You give her peace and you send

the spirit of peace upon her.

691

: 00:32:44

Pray that you make your will known

to her so that she doesn't feel lost.

692

: 00:32:48

I pray that you give her the grace

to respond to the ways that you're

693

: 00:32:51

calling her to live in this life.

694

: 00:32:53

Uh, we ask that you just overwhelm

her with a desire and love for you

695

: 00:32:57

so that she can enter in her prayer.

696

: 00:32:58

I pray you remove any apathy, like Holy

spirit in the name of Jesus Christ.

697

: 00:33:06

Reveal the lie that she's unloved or

that, uh, prayer is not important.

698

: 00:33:10

Amen.

699

: 00:33:11

If there's any lines that are coming up,

like Mari can share those and then we can

700

: 00:33:15

rebuke those in the name of Jesus Christ.

701

: 00:33:18

And then like we end in prayer, like

praise and Thanksgiving where we love you.

702

: 00:33:23

Thank you for the graces

you've bestowed upon us.

703

: 00:33:26

Like we thank you for this time of prayer.

704

: 00:33:29

Sometimes we'll like end with

praying a Hail Mary, inviting

705

: 00:33:32

Mary to intercede for us as well.

706

: 00:33:34

Yeah.

707

: 00:33:35

So that's a, like, that's the, uh, the

next layer is more intimate, but it's

708

: 00:33:41

where we should all aspire to go to.

709

: 00:33:43

I don't.

710

: 00:33:43

The, the easy ways praying before

meals, praying, uh, when you travel,

711

: 00:33:49

praying with scripture, like those

are all like, we babysit, you're

712

: 00:33:53

stepping in this direction, but like,

I would encourage you that don't

713

: 00:33:56

settle for just praying before meals.

714

: 00:33:58

Pray with scripture.

715

: 00:33:59

Work your way.

716

: 00:34:00

Yeah.

717

: 00:34:00

Pray the rosary.

718

: 00:34:00

Work your way up.

719

: 00:34:01

Pray.

720

: 00:34:02

Intercessory prayer guy,

like all together routinely.

721

: 00:34:06

And then, and then even like when you have

a family and you have children, like teach

722

: 00:34:10

your children, model it for your children.

723

: 00:34:12

I saw this one video once too.

724

: 00:34:14

And maybe that's where we saw the whole,

like the couple praying with coffee

725

: 00:34:17

and Bible scripture in the morning.

726

: 00:34:19

I think like the line was like, we

do this every morning for ourselves,

727

: 00:34:22

but we also do it for our children.

728

: 00:34:24

Like we want our children to grow up

seeing a marriage that is centered

729

: 00:34:27

in God and is rooted in prayer.

730

: 00:34:29

And so.

731

: 00:34:30

Working it into your relationship, not

only blesses you and your marriage,

732

: 00:34:34

but will bless your children and

their future marriages as well.

733

: 00:34:38

I mean, they'll grow up seeing, they'll

grow up seeing a husband and wife

734

: 00:34:43

that are rooted in prayer and go to

each other in prayer and have that

735

: 00:34:47

level of intimacy in their faith.

736

: 00:34:49

And they are, they'll be wanting

to seek that hopefully within their

737

: 00:34:52

marriage, their future marriage as well.

738

: 00:34:54

And so, um, you can pray with your kids

then too, and kind of model it for them.

739

: 00:35:00

Yeah, I hope this was helpful.

740

: 00:35:03

And just know that like your significant

other, while it's awkward and while it's

741

: 00:35:10

difficult to start, it will get better.

742

: 00:35:13

It will get better.

743

: 00:35:14

It's, you know, the momentum.

744

: 00:35:16

Like once you start and you start

doing it, and you start doing it, then

745

: 00:35:19

it'll get easier and easier and easier.

746

: 00:35:21

Um, and like they're not gonna judge you.

747

: 00:35:26

Like they're probably feeling awkward too.

748

: 00:35:28

And they're going to be super,

like, they're going to admire

749

: 00:35:32

you and respect you a ton to put

yourself out there and try it.

750

: 00:35:36

Um, so just honestly,

just get over yourselves.

751

: 00:35:41

This is important.

752

: 00:35:42

And just do it.

753

: 00:35:43

Yeah.

754

: 00:35:45

Do you want to close in prayer, Mari?

755

: 00:35:47

Anything else you want to add?

756

: 00:35:49

No.

757

: 00:35:50

I mean, there's so many other ways

to, I know I started the podcast

758

: 00:35:53

saying like, we're going to talk about

different ways to incorporate faith

759

: 00:35:55

into your marriage, but honestly,

the foundational thing is prayer.

760

: 00:35:59

And that's where we're really here

to talk about, but we're going

761

: 00:36:01

to have to do a part two of like

other ways to incorporate faith.

762

: 00:36:04

Cause it's.

763

: 00:36:04

Uh, just a God centered marriage is, is

such a blessing is so fruitful to your

764

: 00:36:10

life and to the world and is so necessary.

765

: 00:36:11

So we need to keep the conversation

going, but we got to wrap up because

766

: 00:36:14

we actually got to get to mass.

767

: 00:36:15

So let's close in prayer.

768

: 00:36:18

In the name of the

father, son, Holy spirit.

769

: 00:36:19

Amen.

770

: 00:36:20

Come Holy spirit.

771

: 00:36:23

Lord, we thank you for this, uh, time

together of Trey and I being able to

772

: 00:36:28

talk about prayer with each other.

773

: 00:36:30

Um, thank you for this time with our

listeners who are learning about how to

774

: 00:36:34

incorporate you and prayer into their

life more, into their relationship more.

775

: 00:36:38

Um, we pray for good and holy marriages.

776

: 00:36:42

We pray for, um, people to desire to

include you in their relationship even

777

: 00:36:48

more into their marriage even more and

for them to root themselves in you.

778

: 00:36:52

Um, we pray for our listeners for you to

give them a spirit of courage, um, and

779

: 00:36:57

zeal, uh, in their faith and for them

to be able to take that first step and

780

: 00:37:01

bring it up to their spouse and say,

Hey, I really think we should do this.

781

: 00:37:05

And we pray for the spouse or the

significant other to have an openness in

782

: 00:37:09

their heart to enter into prayer together.

783

: 00:37:12

And we ask this all in your

most holy name, Jesus Christ.

784

: 00:37:16

And we ask for the intercession

of your mother as we pray.

785

: 00:37:19

Hail Mary, full of grace.

786

: 00:37:20

The Lord is with thee.

787

: 00:37:21

Blessed art thou among women and

blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

788

: 00:37:25

Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us

sinners now and at the hour of our death.

789

: 00:37:29

Amen.

790

: 00:37:30

In the father, son, Holy spirit.

791

: 00:37:31

Amen.

792

: 00:37:32

Thanks guys.