Episode 47

full
Published on:

12th Feb 2025

47: What Single Catholic Guys Really Want

In this episode of the Ever Be podcast, host Mari Wagner interviews her close friends Brock and Anders about what single Catholic men are looking for in a relationship. They share their personal experiences with dating, discuss the importance of faith, and reveal their views on traditional gender roles. The conversation also covers what traits and qualities they find attractive, as well as significant red flags to avoid. Through insightful discussions, the episode offers actionable advice for women seeking to understand and connect with devout Catholic men.

------

Episode Sponsors

West Coast Catholic LENT DEVOTIONAL Now Live! - westcoastcatholic.co/collections/lent

Ascension Press Rosary in a Year - Learn more, listen, and download the free Rosary in a Year prayer plan at https://ascensionpress.com/MariRIY

------

Follow Along:

Ever Be Podcast Instagram

Mari Wagner Instagram

West Coast Catholic Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

Ascension Press Rosary in a Year - Learn more, listen, and download the free Rosary in a Year prayer plan at https://ascensionpress.com/MariRIY

Transcript
Speaker:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: All right,

you guys welcome back to ever be today.

2

:

We are spilling the tea Because I have two

of our closest guy friends as our guests

3

:

today We have brock and anders And we

are going to get real about what single

4

:

catholic guys are Actually looking for.

5

:

So it's going to be juicy.

6

:

It's going to be good.

7

:

And ladies, you're going to

want to turn the volume up, sit

8

:

down, take notes and listen up.

9

:

So I'll let them introduce

themselves first.

10

:

So you get to know a little bit

about who they are, maybe how we met.

11

:

so Anders, why don't you go first?

12

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: So we

have something Brock can go first,

13

:

but I, yeah, my name's Anders.

14

:

I met Mari when we were

working with Focus.

15

:

I've known Mari.

16

:

She was just a little first year.

17

:

I'm a year older than her.

18

:

So, um, before she was doing all

this stuff and yeah, I'm from South

19

:

Dakota and I've been a missionary.

20

:

For five years.

21

:

So, and I'm living in Lincoln,

Nebraska and I met Brock when he was

22

:

a young pup, he was in my Bible study.

23

:

So we go way back.

24

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

That's right.

25

:

I think I was Anders first disciple

back in the day, I believe.

26

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: One of them,

27

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605:

You never forget your first,

28

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

your first love,

29

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

First love.

30

:

Wow.

31

:

Amazing.

32

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: uh, Brock,

tell us a little bit about yourself.

33

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

absolutely.

34

:

Uh, currently live in

Lincoln, Nebraska as well.

35

:

Uh, working in Omaha,

doing some software sales.

36

:

Um, I know Trey, Mari, Anders, really

all through the focus community.

37

:

So Newman center at, in Lincoln, Nebraska.

38

:

Um, stayed in touch since then.

39

:

I've created really good friendship.

40

:

but yeah, just really in my faith.

41

:

And, uh, yeah, looking forward to

a good conversation this weekend.

42

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605:

Yeah, I'm so excited.

43

:

Let's just jump right in and let's

start with kind of like the overview.

44

:

If you just want to share.

45

:

What your experience in dating has been

like so far, if you want to like share

46

:

your age or like kind of, yeah, what

the experience has been maybe through

47

:

the years and where you're at right

now, just so we kind of get a picture

48

:

of like, where are you at in dating?

49

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Absolutely.

50

:

I'll go first.

51

:

Sanders, you went first last time.

52

:

So, uh, personally, um, been in three

serious relationships in my life.

53

:

most recently it was about

a year and a half ago.

54

:

And since then it's been a little bit

more of the casual dating scene, right?

55

:

So I'm 26 and, uh, it almost feels a

little bit more like a job interview

56

:

process a little bit, right?

57

:

Uh, seen a little bit

of both sides, right?

58

:

So seeing the committed relationship

and also seeing, uh, you know,

59

:

Uh, just a little bit of that

casual dating side of things too,

60

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: So you're gonna

going on a lot of first dates right now.

61

:

It's kind of where you're at.

62

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

sort of,

63

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

64

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

some first dates.

65

:

Yeah.

66

:

And I'm, so I'm 28, um, post conversion.

67

:

I mean, very, very different dating

experiences pre and post, but, um,

68

:

yeah, post like conversion to Jesus

similar, but in, um, yeah, too, I

69

:

guess, serious dating relationships.

70

:

Last one was same timeline, Brock,

kind of a year and a half ago.

71

:

So, um, but going on more dates than

that, like with other girls too.

72

:

And, um, I mean, it's

been a good experience.

73

:

I've learned a lot through it and

I'm really grateful for, you know,

74

:

Um, yeah, I'm really grateful

for both of those relationships.

75

:

And then I got promoted.

76

:

So with my new role, this last like

five months, I've just been kind of

77

:

getting my feet under me with that.

78

:

So I haven't really been dating,

but now just coming onto the scene.

79

:

So we'll see, we'll see what happens.

80

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

81

:

We'll see what happens.

82

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

It's been a huge gift too.

83

:

So Anders and I, like, it's, it's fun.

84

:

Like just our friendship, like we've got

to do a lot of stuff together, right?

85

:

We get to talk about it together, kind of

go through similar life stages together.

86

:

It's been awesome too.

87

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: yeah, that

is fun to just like have a buddy that's

88

:

like in it with you that you can like

relate to and talk about this experience.

89

:

So as a Catholic man, how do you

approach dating and do you feel

90

:

like it's any different than

just like a regular secular man?

91

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Um, I, it's

for sure different probably than a normal,

92

:

yeah, just guy in the culture or whatever.

93

:

, I've, I've approached it differently.

94

:

I feel like I've just gone on dates

with girls that I didn't really know.

95

:

Um, that was even how my

last relationship was.

96

:

Like, I didn't really know her

before the relationship and a lot

97

:

of that one was long distance.

98

:

Um, and now, um, gone on

some dates since then.

99

:

And yeah, I think definitely

looking for, um, I mean, faith

100

:

has got to be a part of it for me.

101

:

Just, that's a huge part of my life.

102

:

Jesus is a huge part of my life.

103

:

So, um, and being Catholic

is, I converted in college.

104

:

So, most of my family is not Catholic.

105

:

So yeah, just also ideally, you know,

meeting an awesome Catholic girl.

106

:

Um, but yeah, faith is

definitely part of it.

107

:

And then, Yeah, right now, I guess I'm

just kind of like seeing who the Lord

108

:

brings into my life that I like to

be around because I know friendship,

109

:

friendship is like so important in dating

and I have a lot of married friends,

110

:

and older guys and like mentors and

they just talked about that, how like

111

:

the friendship part is so important.

112

:

I think I just kind of looking

for like, yeah, as number one,

113

:

like faithful and then, um, just

like that natural friendship.

114

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah, totally.

115

:

Anything else?

116

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

I would, I would ditto.

117

:

I love the friendship aspect, right?

118

:

Like the difference now, you know,

being number twenties, sometimes

119

:

it gets a little tougher, right?

120

:

Like I mentioned, sometimes it feels

like a job interview a little bit.

121

:

you don't always get the benefit of

that natural interaction, that organic

122

:

interaction that maybe you get in

high school, college, or when you're

123

:

just doing a lot of different things.

124

:

Right.

125

:

So, um, you have to get a

little more creative in, in

126

:

how that process looks right.

127

:

me, I think a lot of this comes in waves.

128

:

Um, my personality is just always

be open to adventure, right?

129

:

Like always just say, yes,

like at least give it one shot.

130

:

So if someone is willing to set

me up on a date, typically I'm

131

:

going to say, yeah, why not?

132

:

Like.

133

:

You got to shoot the score, right?

134

:

You got to, you got to try something out

to see if it's going to be something.

135

:

So that's always my mentality is like you

gotta put yourself out there, you know,

136

:

try something out and at a minimum, even

if it ends up being bad per se, right?

137

:

It's like, at least I got the experience

of getting to know somebody and

138

:

getting to know someone's story, right?

139

:

Getting to show them good

Catholic dating experience.

140

:

Hopefully, like, I don't know,

maybe some people don't get

141

:

to experience that at all.

142

:

Um, yeah.

143

:

And then also just like, maybe I'm

the only person that has, you know,

144

:

allowed them to encounter Jesus

or, you know, the face of Jesus or.

145

:

sit across from me, get coffee and say,

know, if you'll seen, you know, you, you

146

:

asked me some questions, you know, I held

the door open for you, like something

147

:

as small as that, maybe probe them a

little bit more and just get some good

148

:

questions to, to encourage them to, know,

maybe see life a little bit differently.

149

:

I don't know.

150

:

There's a lot of different ways about it.

151

:

Right.

152

:

That's not obviously my approach to

dating, but at a minimum, you at least

153

:

get to go on a fun date and get to know

someone's story, I think is really cool.

154

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Oh, I love that

I think too you guys probably both agree

155

:

with this and if you have any more to say

and expand on this I think at the core

156

:

of it all like you're approaching dating

with the end goal in mind of trying to

157

:

find a wife like At this point in your

life like you're not dating just for fun

158

:

or just to like get to know different

types of girls and have that be the end

159

:

of it, but I feel like of you and again,

yeah sure whatever else comes to mind

160

:

but like You're trying to find a wife.

161

:

You're trying to be married right now.

162

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Yeah, for sure.

163

:

I mean, if I, I'd rather not, you

know, waste somebody else's time too.

164

:

If I don't think that

it would be a good fit.

165

:

So definitely looking for that for sure.

166

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605:

Definitely for sure.

167

:

Looking for a

168

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Definitely for sure.

169

:

Very open.

170

:

Quest.

171

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: So in this quest

to find a wife, what, what are the traits

172

:

and qualities that you feel like are,

that you find most attractive in a woman?

173

:

And then if, Some come to mind as well.

174

:

What are the biggest

turnoffs or red flags?

175

:

So a little bit of both.

176

:

Give us like the green flags and the

red flags that you're looking for.

177

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Good question, Mariana.

178

:

All right.

179

:

Um,

180

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Well, you can, you can

181

:

answer wrong on this.

182

:

Anders, just FYI.

183

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: yeah.

184

:

Um, I think, I mean, the first

thing that I've just learned is

185

:

everybody's story is different.

186

:

I've known a lot of, you know, Friends.

187

:

Um, and I had a lot of

friends get married.

188

:

I've been in a lot of weddings as Mari

knows, it's kinda like 20, I haven't

189

:

seen the movie, but 27 dresses or,

190

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: that is

191

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: yeah.

192

:

So been in a lot, which,

193

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: in

194

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: which is,

uh, I, I mean, it's a huge blessing

195

:

to just like, walk with men and be in

their lives and be invited into that.

196

:

So, um, so yeah, I think like every guy

looks for, you know, is different things

197

:

and is attracted to different things.

198

:

First of all, um, I think.

199

:

For me, I think just like being confident

in herself and who she is, is big.

200

:

Um, that's like really attractive

to me and, and ultimately that

201

:

confidence like comes from the Lord

and knowing who she is in the Lord and

202

:

just like the freedom to be herself,

that that's really attractive to me.

203

:

Um, . Yeah.

204

:

And then like, yeah, just

kinda that friendship, like

205

:

for me it's a sense of humor.

206

:

Like, I like to joke around, so just

somebody that can, I can laugh with and

207

:

at least laughs at my jokes, hopefully,

because otherwise it'd be really awkward.

208

:

Um, 'cause I like to joke around a lot.

209

:

So I think, yeah, just having

a, a good sense of humor and

210

:

um, obviously like taking life

seriously, but not too seriously.

211

:

'cause I think you have to

like, be able to laugh at

212

:

yourself and, and laugh at life.

213

:

Um, and yeah, I think like.

214

:

A woman who like,

215

:

I don't know, has a

mission in life almost.

216

:

I think that's like

really attracted to me.

217

:

Cause I know I,

218

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605:

Tell me more about that.

219

:

Expand.

220

:

Like, what do you mean by that?

221

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: um, I don't

know, for me, it's like, I want to be

222

:

married and, and have a family and raise

children and raise saints, hopefully.

223

:

And I just know like this life

is short and heaven is long.

224

:

And like, I just want

to be there and help.

225

:

I mean, that's why I'm a missionary.

226

:

I just want to help people know Jesus.

227

:

So definitely like having that heart

for others, I think is big for me.

228

:

Just like.

229

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

230

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Outside

of me, I think, I mean, just going to

231

:

kind of like red, I don't know if you

call it red flags, but I think, you

232

:

know, if it's all just about like the

relationship and about me, that's where

233

:

I'm kind of like, okay, there's got to

be like more than this, like what, how

234

:

are we also, um, faced outwards and like,

what, what do we want to do together?

235

:

I guess that's like, that's attractive.

236

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

237

:

Yeah.

238

:

Like finding someone who is going to want

to Um, just like serve the kingdom with

239

:

you and like use your marriage to serve

people around you, like in your community.

240

:

That's awesome.

241

:

To the things that you said.

242

:

So Trey and I did a podcast last week

where we asked Trey, most awkward

243

:

questions girls want to ask guys.

244

:

Um, and one of them, it wasn't

an awkward question, but one of

245

:

them was basically like, what are,

that men find attractive in women.

246

:

And the first thing he

also said was confidence.

247

:

And so I think that like, at

this point we're hearing it from

248

:

different men, you know, different

times, like confidence is so key.

249

:

And I think one thing that, that you said

there is just like, A woman who feel,

250

:

who feels free to just like be herself.

251

:

And I think women so often, especially

in dating, you get nervous because

252

:

you just want to like, be what

the guy wants you to be, right?

253

:

You want the guy to like you.

254

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Mm-hmm

255

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: sometimes

you can kind of like change your

256

:

character a little bit or like kind

of overthink, like, what am I wearing?

257

:

What am I saying?

258

:

How am I like presenting myself?

259

:

Like, will he like that?

260

:

Will he not?

261

:

When really, if We just like honed in,

like in who you are, if you were just

262

:

confident about like who you really

are and like you said, like who you are

263

:

in Christ, like your personality that

God gave you and the things that you

264

:

love and that you're passionate about,

if you were to be able, if you were

265

:

to like exude that, like that actually

would be the most attractive quality

266

:

versus like trying to mold yourself

to what different guys might want.

267

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Yes.

268

:

Yeah.

269

:

No, I think that's funny.

270

:

Tray dog.

271

:

Come on

272

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Ha ha.

273

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Tray.

274

:

Yeah.

275

:

That's huge.

276

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

This, this reminds me a

277

:

little bit of Anderson.

278

:

I used to talk about this.

279

:

It's like, dang, you know, the time

that, you know, maybe I got this little

280

:

like mini crush on a girl or the girl

that I actually like for whatever

281

:

reason, always just stiff around her.

282

:

Like, I don't feel like I can be

myself and I'm like, end up being a

283

:

kind of, kind of awkward a little bit

284

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

285

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

maybe there's a girl that, you know, you

286

:

don't feel that way about necessarily.

287

:

You're just yourself.

288

:

You're just bouncing

off walls a little bit.

289

:

And that girl ends up liking you

because you're just being yourself.

290

:

You're just being childlike, right?

291

:

It's like, man, what if we

just decided to be ourselves?

292

:

It'd be a lot more track.

293

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Totally.

294

:

What about for you, Brock?

295

:

What are some traits or qualities

that you feel like comes to mind

296

:

that you're really looking for?

297

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Yeah.

298

:

I love what Anders talked about.

299

:

So for me, something along the lines

of, childlike, adventurous, romantic,

300

:

like sees the beauty in things.

301

:

Right.

302

:

Um, I love what you said.

303

:

And here's about, you know, once

they go on a mission, right.

304

:

So once to bring people in, once

to invite Jesus into people's

305

:

lives, let's go do something right.

306

:

Whether that's.

307

:

You know, as simple as like

within your parish, right?

308

:

Like being involved in those things

or just like, let's go do something.

309

:

Let's go, let's go live life beautifully

and adventurous, things along those lines.

310

:

So I, I kind of thought about

this too, but someone that I'm

311

:

also just like proud to introduce

to my friends and family, right?

312

:

Like someone, I'm just proud

to be around a little bit.

313

:

Okay.

314

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: I love that.

315

:

Yeah.

316

:

Any, um, turnoffs or red

flags that you've noticed?

317

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Brock, what do you got, brother?

318

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

This one's good.

319

:

I mean, I think you could talk

about a lot of things here.

320

:

Like really micro things, but I

don't know if that speaks for the guy

321

:

population as a whole, but I think

this one is that all guys would agree

322

:

with probably is friendships, right?

323

:

So if you have friends that are maybe just

like bad influences or people that you,

324

:

maybe I wouldn't get along with myself.

325

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

326

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

about you as a person.

327

:

It's kind of who your friendships or

what friendships you have, I suppose.

328

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

329

:

I feel like that's super wise.

330

:

And honestly, I feel like people don't

talk about that enough in dating of

331

:

like actually being aware of the people

they're surrounded by the most and yeah.

332

:

What kind of crowds they hang out with.

333

:

That's important.

334

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Mm-hmm

335

:

Yeah.

336

:

Um,

337

:

again, yeah, I just don't

wanna speak like Brock and I, I

338

:

mean, I'm more extroverted and.

339

:

Brock's more extroverted.

340

:

So I don't know.

341

:

I just know that there's like, I've

just seen it where, I don't know, this

342

:

isn't like, this is kind of back to

the previous question, but I think if

343

:

you're just really being yourself and

who God created you to be, and it takes

344

:

faith, but like, there's going to be

like, you'll have that person for you.

345

:

Um, So yeah, I don't know.

346

:

For me, I think it's probably

just like, I guess negativity.

347

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

348

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Just like, am

I, am I like uplifted when I'm around her?

349

:

Because

350

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

351

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: yeah,

life is, um, life can be hard.

352

:

So I think just like somebody that can

be with you and like, for me at least,

353

:

just like, I feel like lifts me up.

354

:

Yeah, is able to like affirm you too

in your masculinity and just like

355

:

you and the things that you're you're

doing Well, I think is like big for

356

:

men just to be also like built up.

357

:

I think we respond well to that So I

think yeah, just like the watch out for

358

:

me is just like the kind of negativity

That's one thing that comes to mind.

359

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

360

:

No, that's super good.

361

:

would you say is maybe like your one or

if you have to like top non negotiables?

362

:

I talk about this with women a lot because

people ask me in my DMs like, okay,

363

:

this was a non negotiable for me, but

he checks every box except for this one.

364

:

Like should I still date him?

365

:

And I usually try to encourage like,

If this is your non negotiable, like,

366

:

then it's non negotiable, you know, if

they're not checking this box, then it's

367

:

probably not who you want to be with.

368

:

Do you have negotiable?

369

:

And if so, what is it?

370

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

What are wait, what are some

371

:

examples from other girls?

372

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Uh, top,

top one that I feel like is most

373

:

common is just that they're Catholic.

374

:

Most Catholic women that I talk to,

Want to marry a Catholic man, but a

375

:

lot of them, um, either meet someone

who's not very practicing, but

376

:

maybe they were baptized Catholic.

377

:

And so they're kind of like, how much

like leeway should I give, you know, or

378

:

maybe they, uh, fell in love with somebody

who's Protestant and not Catholic.

379

:

And they're like, well,

Catholic was my non negotiable.

380

:

Like, do I continue to pursue

this relationship or not?

381

:

Um, so that's obviously the most

popular one that I feel like I hear.

382

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

I think for me, I think we're

383

:

talking truly non negotiables.

384

:

I would say Catholic, right?

385

:

I think there are other things that

are definitely wants and desires, but I

386

:

think truly at the end of the day, the

one is probably going to be Catholic.

387

:

For me, I have things that are

like close to being non negotiable

388

:

that I like, I really want.

389

:

It'd be really hard for me to

not work out in a relationship.

390

:

I'm sure you're wanting me to

answer based on that too, but I

391

:

think the true one non negotiable

is probably Catholic in the faith

392

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

393

:

Yeah.

394

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Yeah,

definitely I think it would be it

395

:

would just be kind of lonely like

even I mean, I grew up Protestant

396

:

and I'm super grateful for that.

397

:

And

398

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

399

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: yeah, it's,

it's been a huge blessing in life, but

400

:

I think like not being able to share in

Eucharist and sacraments and Mary and all

401

:

these things, that would be really hard.

402

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

403

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: So I think,

and that's also a question of like dating.

404

:

Like, I think I'd be cautious,

like if she's not Catholic, I think

405

:

I would just have to see if like

there's openness to that, you know?

406

:

So I think, but that, I don't

know, that can get tough.

407

:

So that's definitely, I think one of.

408

:

One of the non negotiables,

um, yeah, definitely for me.

409

:

Brock, do you have any others?

410

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

411

:

What are you thinking of Brock?

412

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Yeah.

413

:

I think there's, there's a hundred

percent non negotiable, which is Catholic.

414

:

Right.

415

:

And I think there are like some 80 percent

416

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Okay.

417

:

Someone,

418

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Um, for me, I really enjoy

419

:

just being challenged.

420

:

So I, I really enjoy people that

are maybe like not necessarily

421

:

naive to certain things.

422

:

Right.

423

:

Right.

424

:

So.

425

:

Whether that is in a sports activity

or a board game, whatever else it is,

426

:

just a little bit of fire, a little bit

of competitiveness, you know, someone

427

:

seems to get it a little bit, like, like

kind of not afraid to punch back, right?

428

:

Like, again, we talked about being

authentically yourself a little bit.

429

:

So something along those lines, kind

of, you know, a little analytical, a

430

:

little, a little gamey, a little bit.

431

:

Um, I don't know.

432

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: that can

give you some good competition.

433

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Yeah, absolutely.

434

:

I think that speaks, I want to try to

speak on behalf of a lot of men in the

435

:

world, and I think that, I think that's

a fair thing to represent a lot of men.

436

:

Not all men are like that, but I

think that represents a lot of men.

437

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

438

:

And two, I mean, we all know

like you are just two men.

439

:

You can't speak on behalf

of all men everywhere.

440

:

And I think, I mean, our

listeners know that, but we

441

:

will give the disclaimer, right?

442

:

This is like what Anders and

Brock are looking for and they

443

:

are great Catholic men, but.

444

:

All, you know, he, they

can't speak for everybody.

445

:

So it's okay.

446

:

If you have something that you're like,

yeah, this is just like what I want.

447

:

You know, we, we know that you, you

necessarily will not be speaking

448

:

on every Catholic man out there.

449

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Okay, that's good.

450

:

That gives me more freedom.

451

:

I got like 10 things here.

452

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: There's this

like, Oh, now I'm going to give you my

453

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Now,

no, but I think, I don't know, for

454

:

me it's just like growth mindset.

455

:

Like, is she willing to grow?

456

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Oh yeah.

457

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: You know,

just like, obviously there's things that

458

:

are the way that we are, and like, God

made us that way, and it's, you know.

459

:

Just like reverencing those, but

I think for me, it's like, is

460

:

she willing to grow and like get

outside her comfort zone, whatever.

461

:

And like, I want to get

outside my comfort zone.

462

:

I think life is boring when you're just

like in your comfort zone all the time.

463

:

So, yeah, I think that, that would

be, that would be one of mine.

464

:

Um, it's just like, and obviously you

don't like get that through a question,

465

:

but just through, I think, dating.

466

:

Like, is she willing to get out of

her comfort zone and like grow in

467

:

different ways and like try new things.

468

:

Um,

469

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Yeah.

470

:

Yeah.

471

:

Yeah.

472

:

I tackle on that a little bit too.

473

:

It's like.

474

:

You know, experiences of dating a

little bit in the first few weeks,

475

:

months, you know, sometimes you go

through this whole honeymoon phase.

476

:

It's very fun, all these things, but

I think as we've gotten older, you see

477

:

past that a little bit more, right?

478

:

Like, okay, this is going to be

hopefully founded upon friendship, right?

479

:

We talked about friendship

a little bit already.

480

:

And what's actually gonna look

like for, you know, you're gonna

481

:

be married hopefully for 50 years.

482

:

Like, what is that going to look like?

483

:

Can I actually have a friendship

where we're both pursuing heaven?

484

:

We're both pursuing Jesus and bringing

people into that together, right?

485

:

Like that's the ultimate goal that looks

a lot of different ways, but that's

486

:

the ultimate goal at the end of the

487

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Yeah.

488

:

And does she have good girlfriends?

489

:

You know, I think that's like, if

she doesn't, it's just gonna be

490

:

tough because I, I've been around,

I've had five women teammates on

491

:

my team here, my missionary team.

492

:

So I've been for like five years, I've

been around a lot of girls, but I'm like,

493

:

there's just some things I can't provide.

494

:

You just need a good girlfriend to do so.

495

:

And I think it just shows too.

496

:

I don't know.

497

:

That's just something for me.

498

:

Like, does she have good like

girlfriends that she can hang out with?

499

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

500

:

about, uh, like if she wants to be a

mom or not, is that a non negotiable for

501

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Yeah, for sure.

502

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Yeah, I think so

503

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Yeah.

504

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

That's good.

505

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: For me,

506

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

good.

507

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

speaking for all men, but I

508

:

think that's definitely, yeah.

509

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

You have that desire.

510

:

Yep.

511

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

have like 12 kids,

512

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: yeah.

513

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

I'm just kidding.

514

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: She's gotta

515

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

No, I'm not kidding.

516

:

Whatever, whatever the Lord wants.

517

:

And, um,

518

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yes

519

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

definitely just like openness to life.

520

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah, of course.

521

:

Okay.

522

:

Let's get into a a little bit more

like the faith conversation we've

523

:

you know chatted about how you want a

catholic woman in your life and to have

524

:

Faith be a part of your relationship

your future marriage How would you

525

:

want faith to play a role in your

relationship or like what would you hope?

526

:

Um, yeah You How would you hope the

relationship would look like, given

527

:

that you both are practicing Catholics?

528

:

How do you bring that

into the relationship?

529

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Good question.

530

:

Obviously,

531

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

question.

532

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: it changes

as, you know, obviously, I don't know,

533

:

I think one thing people, one thing I

see with, like, Catholics is sometimes

534

:

you can jump in too quick, too fast.

535

:

I think like just get getting

to that spiritual depth,

536

:

which is like a good desire.

537

:

You're like, I love this.

538

:

And again, this is just my perspective,

but I think you definitely don't

539

:

wanna like rush it right away.

540

:

Um, because it's very intimate.

541

:

Like my relationship with

Jesus and my relationship with

542

:

the Lord is very intimate.

543

:

Um, so I'm still learning for sure,

being that I'm single, but faith I would

544

:

definitely want at like the center of

it and um, yeah, going to mass together.

545

:

Definitely when we're dating and,

um, I don't know, going to different

546

:

Bible studies, stuff like that.

547

:

Um, serving at the parish, whatever that

looks like and starting to incorporate

548

:

just like, whether that's praying

liturgy of the hours together, like night

549

:

prayer or just like the rosary together.

550

:

Um,

551

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

552

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: and

then I think like, as you get deeper

553

:

in relationship, like engagement,

that looks a lot different.

554

:

Like, okay, I'm committed to this person.

555

:

So that's where it's like,

okay, more like praying.

556

:

Praying together more.

557

:

It's like you're really praying

with each other and Praying

558

:

together and kind of yeah, like

just revealing more of yourself, too

559

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Just

like sharing more vulnerable things

560

:

in your, like, prayers with each

561

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

yeah, for sure

562

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

563

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: and And then

marriage obviously that's where I don't

564

:

know I think I just have a lot there's

a lot of good married dudes around and

565

:

just hearing about the different things

They do like yeah praying together

566

:

Each night and each morning before bed.

567

:

And I think that's something that

I would definitely want to do.

568

:

I think just keeping Jesus at the center

because, um, I want my wife to like,

569

:

love Jesus more than she loves me.

570

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Mm

571

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: We're

like who he works through a lot,

572

:

but, um, yeah, praying together as

far as like our own spiritual life.

573

:

And then in our marriage, hopefully

just being able to like, bless

574

:

others through that and invite

others into our marriage and like,

575

:

Yeah.

576

:

Have younger couples or like single

people over and be able to just share

577

:

our experience with that would be really

578

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Totally.

579

:

What about you, Brock?

580

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

amazing answer, Anders.

581

:

That's great.

582

:

I, I love first time you talk

about the different stages, right?

583

:

So you want it to start internally, right?

584

:

Between you and, you know, your

girlfriend, your spouse, et cetera.

585

:

You want to start their deep

prayer life eventually there.

586

:

Um, but eventually you want

that to turn external, I think.

587

:

Right.

588

:

So ultimately someone that's

got, you know, a missionary heart

589

:

at the end of the day, right?

590

:

So.

591

:

You know, whether that's being active

in your parish, Bible studies, all these

592

:

different things and really understanding

the mission of your marriage, right?

593

:

I'm always so in awe of the people.

594

:

Um, I feel like I've been blessed with

a lot of great marriages in my life

595

:

where they've been such good examples.

596

:

And the best marriages, in my opinion, are

the ones that are bringing other people

597

:

into their marriage or into their family.

598

:

I have some good friends.

599

:

Um, and then I was just trying

to invite people into it.

600

:

Like how can we invite Jesus into this

person, into our family, into our home.

601

:

And I think that's so beautiful.

602

:

It's just a simple thing.

603

:

But at the end of the day, like that's

the mission at the end of the day.

604

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: same.

605

:

I mean, I just can't, it'd

be hard to not talk about the

606

:

Lord and help others know him.

607

:

So.

608

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah, totally.

609

:

I feel like that was one of the things

that I that just grabbed my attention and

610

:

like my heart the most when I met Trey,

because I mean, the way we met was we

611

:

started leading Bible studies together.

612

:

We got connected because we both

wanted to lead a Catholic Bible study.

613

:

And we had a mutual friend and so

a lot of our conversations in the

614

:

beginning were just about faith.

615

:

And for me, that was the first time

that I felt like I had an intentional

616

:

conversation about faith with a man.

617

:

It wasn't even like we're talking

about deep stuff, but it was like,

618

:

wow, we can talk about like the gospel.

619

:

We can, we actually were also in a

literal gospel gospels class together,

620

:

like a scripture class together.

621

:

And so our homework was just

to read scripture together.

622

:

And even that was like super.

623

:

That was so different for

me, but so attractive to me.

624

:

Cause that's what I wanted

in a future husband.

625

:

And I didn't know that that existed.

626

:

And so hearing you guys say that, I

hope that that's super encouraging to

627

:

women listening to and being like, wow,

there are men out there that actually

628

:

are practicing their faith and like,

want to bring this into a relationship.

629

:

They want to like take

their girlfriend to mass.

630

:

They want to pray the Rosary together.

631

:

They want to pray with their

wife every night before bed.

632

:

Like they have a desire to keep faith

at the center of the relationship.

633

:

And.

634

:

I want to point out here, too, is that,

like, to actually make that happen in a

635

:

relationship, both parties need to be Like

actively practicing and pursuing their

636

:

faith in their own lives as single people

and like the only way that as a boyfriend,

637

:

girlfriend, fiance's spouse, eventually

spouses, you're going to pray together.

638

:

You're going to pursue, you know, deeper

knowledge information about the faith.

639

:

The only way that you guys are going to

have a missionary heart and go out is

640

:

if each of you is cultivating your own

relationship with Jesus by yourself.

641

:

before you meet each other.

642

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: For sure.

643

:

Yeah.

644

:

And like, I think like

guys can grow in that too.

645

:

And I think that's kind

of that growth mindset.

646

:

Like I'm a, I mean, I'm a missionary,

so it's super important to me.

647

:

I gave, I've given a lot of my

life to try and to do my best.

648

:

I'm far from perfect, but I think

too, just like also with those

649

:

guys, just be like, okay, could

I see this guy growing into that?

650

:

And like, that would be each

situation is going to be different.

651

:

But I think.

652

:

I've just seen so many guys like that

are faithful and trying and they've grown

653

:

so much from having like a holy Catholic

woman and they've like grown into that

654

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Totally.

655

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: just like,

and there's a lot, yeah, there's a lot

656

:

of good guys out there and I think.

657

:

The enemy just wants us to settle.

658

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yeah.

659

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: for, you

know, Oh, well this guy's giving me

660

:

attention, or whatever, but, I don't

know, I think just praying everyday, and

661

:

like, the lord will lead you, and like,

yeah, the guy's not gonna be perfect.

662

:

I'm not perfect.

663

:

Brock's definitely not perfect.

664

:

Brock's

665

:

definitely not.

666

:

But, it's like, there are good men

out there, and like, can they grow?

667

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Absolutely.

668

:

Yeah.

669

:

Yeah.

670

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

opposite almost for a sec?

671

:

Like for one minute, I think it's, it's

important to, especially at our phase of

672

:

dating, like I think sometimes too, we

often, people get almost too into that

673

:

thought process early too early on, right?

674

:

Like, you know, maybe we're on

a first date and we're talking

675

:

about theology of the body or

we're talking about this stuff.

676

:

Like, we really don't want to be talking

about that on the day, there needs to

677

:

be a foundation of friendship, right?

678

:

Because at the day, The best way to

love your spouse or the best way to

679

:

get married is to like genuinely love

the person that you're married to.

680

:

And all this virtue, all this, uh, all

this faith in your relationship will,

681

:

it has to stem from your friendship

and generally enjoying your, like

682

:

the person you're around first.

683

:

Right?

684

:

So it comes in phases, right?

685

:

So ultimately the faith

is going to be huge.

686

:

It's a super important thing.

687

:

Those are all good things, but I think

there's also a progression that needs to

688

:

be had to where, you know, I think people

get too caught up and not like, okay,

689

:

am I just like friends with this person?

690

:

Like, do I actually just

want to be a person first?

691

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yes.

692

:

Totally.

693

:

Yeah.

694

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Bar, Bar, great question.

695

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Mic drop right

696

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Cause

like faith is super important, the most

697

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Absolutely.

698

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

but yeah, it's,

699

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: but

700

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: know,

701

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: there's no spot.

702

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

can I have fun?

703

:

Yeah.

704

:

Is that spark there?

705

:

Like, can I have fun?

706

:

Do we enjoy similar?

707

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Totally.

708

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: And

that is, that is, I think super true.

709

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Yes.

710

:

And thank you for bringing that up, Brock.

711

:

I think that is so important.

712

:

And I actually did get a

few messages last year.

713

:

I shared a real talking about how,

like, think that you should be best

714

:

friends with your spouse because I

saw a real on Instagram when I was

715

:

scrolling that said, like, I'm not best

friends with my spouse and that's okay.

716

:

And I was like, That's sad.

717

:

Actually, I don't think that's okay.

718

:

I actually think you should be

best friends with your spouse.

719

:

So I posted about something and I actually

had a few women DM me and say like,

720

:

wait, this is an interesting perspective.

721

:

Like the man that I'm with that

I'm dating, it's like a really

722

:

amazing man, but like, I don't

consider him my best friend.

723

:

And like, don't know if like he

would ever be my best friend.

724

:

And I was like, okay, maybe we should.

725

:

Talk about that.

726

:

And actually at least one of them, if

not both of them ended up breaking up

727

:

with that guy, they messaged me later.

728

:

Um, so I feel like this is something

that maybe yet in the Catholic world,

729

:

when people get so serious about

dating a Catholic person, which we have

730

:

established is so important and so good.

731

:

If you want to have a Catholic family and

raise a Catholic family, but at the same

732

:

time, all of these, all of the different

factors matter in dating and just because

733

:

this man is super, um, devout to his

faith, if there is not that friendship

734

:

or that attraction or that spark or that

excitement, like, that stuff's important

735

:

too, and you're gonna need that, you're

gonna need your, that friendship to,

736

:

like, carry you through your marriage.

737

:

Essentially.

738

:

So good point to bring up.

739

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

Come on, Brock.

740

:

That's why you're here, Brock.

741

:

That's why you're here.

742

:

That's why I can do this.

743

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605:

Okay, guys, tell me this one.

744

:

feel like it's probably controversial

to the secular world, but tell me,

745

:

how do you feel about traditional

gender roles in a relationship?

746

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Oh, juicy.

747

:

What do you mean by like, what do you

mean by traditional gender roles, I guess?

748

:

Like

749

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Like

basically traditional gender

750

:

roles include like Women

751

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: she's in the.

752

:

That's what

753

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: staying at home.

754

:

Mom's taking care of the kids,

about cooking and cleaning.

755

:

Whereas like the man, the traditional

gender role for the man would be like he

756

:

works full time and takes out the trash.

757

:

I don't know.

758

:

I just, the guy thing,

759

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

really good to take out the trash

760

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605:

I don't touch the trash.

761

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610:

you're looking for.

762

:

I can do

763

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Alright, I have an answer for this.

764

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: okay.

765

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Um, first thing that comes to mind is,

766

:

this is a whole subject, right, in itself.

767

:

But, um, we used to talk about this a lot,

Anders, like in our Bible studies, with

768

:

our fraternity, in our Bible study, etc.

769

:

how important the faith of the Father is.

770

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: that.

771

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

Right.

772

:

So there's some statistic out there that

says, um, assuming the father is the

773

:

one that's kind of leading the faith.

774

:

Like he's the, he's the one that's

into his faith, maybe a little

775

:

bit more compared to the mother.

776

:

Statistically, the children

are more likely to also be in

777

:

their faith into adulthood.

778

:

don't know the exact number on that.

779

:

I don't want to plagiarize.

780

:

I don't want to give

the wrong number there.

781

:

Uh, but it just says something

about the importance of the

782

:

father being in his faith, right?

783

:

Okay.

784

:

And I think women and men and

women are both different, but

785

:

they're both important, right?

786

:

So we talk about that and you hear,

you talk about the father, right?

787

:

The importance of his faith.

788

:

Um, that doesn't disclude the mother and

the importance of the mother as well.

789

:

I love the quote by,

um, Bishop Fulton Sheen.

790

:

He talks about how, the extent of,

you know, like the level of any

791

:

civilization per se is how great,

you know, The extent of like the

792

:

womanhood of that civilization is.

793

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: Wow.

794

:

brock-wordekemper_1_02-06-2025_171605:

because men, we are going to go

795

:

out of our way to match women.

796

:

So if women are going to call us

to this standard, we are going

797

:

to go then match that standard.

798

:

Right?

799

:

So if the father is important,

his faith is important, right?

800

:

It's like, well, the woman is going to

call us to be in our faith at the day.

801

:

So the justice role is

different, but very important.

802

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Okay.

803

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605:

That was so fire.

804

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Come on.

805

:

mari_1_02-06-2025_161605: I love that.

806

:

And I remember first time I heard that,

it just resonated so true with just my

807

:

experience and what I saw in my friends

and even as a missionary and the girls

808

:

that I work with, that like, men have

this desire to be good and women help set

809

:

that bar to call them to a standard and

they're like actually willing to do it.

810

:

To meet that, you know, they're willing

to work to get to that to that standard.

811

:

So that's so good.

812

:

anders-_1_02-06-2025_171610: Yeah.

813

:

Good job, Brock.

814

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: I think,

I mean, I definitely want to work

815

:

if she's like a doctor, I can do it.

816

:

Um, but yeah, I don't

have too many thoughts.

817

:

I think it depends on the woman and

like what she desires to, like, I

818

:

would love to provide for my wife

to be able to stay at home with

819

:

the kids if that's what she wants.

820

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Yeah.

821

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244:

Um, and yeah, I love.

822

:

I mean, taking out the trash,

mowing the lawn, stuff like

823

:

that, taking care of the house.

824

:

I think it's like important.

825

:

There's goodness in that.

826

:

And, but I'm not like, Oh,

like she has to stay at home.

827

:

Like she can't work.

828

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Yeah.

829

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: I think I'd

like to provide so she could do that.

830

:

but also if she wants to work.

831

:

And she's like, that's what,

that's what I really like.

832

:

Great.

833

:

Like we'll figure it out.

834

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Yeah, I think

that's really, um, probably just like a

835

:

relief for a lot of women to hear because

I think the more you get into, uh, just

836

:

like a very practicing Catholic world, the

more and more you see kind of like those

837

:

extremist ends of, The faith that we can

get into and I personally experienced this

838

:

a lot on instagram where some people are

super Like gung ho about like women should

839

:

not work women should only be home Like

that is how god intended it to be and if

840

:

you work like you're being selfish and all

this stuff, but um And so I think a lot of

841

:

women might expect like wow like a really

practicing like tradition a man with

842

:

traditional values a practicing catholic

like might just want that for me, but um,

843

:

I think there is like you said there is a

lot of value in You Women working if they

844

:

feel like God is calling them to that.

845

:

And obviously the primary vocation

should be your marriage and the family.

846

:

And so making sure that your work as

a wife and a mother isn't taking away

847

:

from the way that you're able to care

for your children and your husband.

848

:

Um, but.

849

:

Yeah, if the Lord has placed it

on your heart to work full time or

850

:

part time and you're able to make it

work with your family, I think that

851

:

that's totally honorable as well.

852

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: Yeah.

853

:

And I'd want to like, I don't know if,

obviously if somebody you care about has

854

:

a dream and you, that you love, like has a

dream, you want to help make that happen.

855

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Yeah, totally.

856

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: sister,

my sister works, um, she's married.

857

:

She's Catholic too.

858

:

and my older sister, Catholic,

rest of the family, not.

859

:

It's another story.

860

:

I love my family, but, um, but

yeah, she works, but I think she's

861

:

like, Now she's, she has four kids.

862

:

Um, so she's kind of gearing up.

863

:

Like, I think she's like, yeah,

it'd be nice to stay at home.

864

:

But she also has a side hustle where

she makes earrings and she sells them.

865

:

And she has like Etsy shops, which I

should plug, but I don't, I don't know.

866

:

It's styled by Kirsten.

867

:

Check out Style by Kirsten.

868

:

I think that's what it's called.

869

:

beautiful.

870

:

She is.

871

:

Yeah, she's just, she's amazing.

872

:

But I think like that, like if my wife

wants to do something like that, like

873

:

I want to help you make that happen.

874

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Amazing.

875

:

brock-wordekemper_3_02-06-2025_180240:

yeah, I'm going to, I'm

876

:

going to just hop real quick.

877

:

I completely agree with, I think the

male mindset that most guys have is, um,

878

:

want to at least provide the option for

my wife to have that option for herself.

879

:

Right.

880

:

Like if she wants to stay

home, that's awesome.

881

:

Like that's amazing.

882

:

Stay at home mom.

883

:

Like that's the most important job ever.

884

:

Um, but then also she has other ambitions.

885

:

Like as a man, you just want to.

886

:

At least be able to pry that option

for her, whatever the case may

887

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Yeah.

888

:

Totally.

889

:

Okay, so I want to, I want to ask

just in general, like, what would

890

:

your advice be to women looking

for a good Catholic man to date?

891

:

Like what is on your heart that

you just really want them to know?

892

:

brock-wordekemper_3_02-06-2025_180240:

I have something here.

893

:

Andrew's going to go first or you go

894

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: We got it.

895

:

You

896

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241:

I'll take it away.

897

:

brock-wordekemper_3_02-06-2025_180240:

Um, this is actually from a book that

898

:

is about discerning the seminary.

899

:

Believe it or not.

900

:

It's a, to save a thousand souls.

901

:

And the quote is that God

won't move a parked car.

902

:

Right?

903

:

So this is just good for anyone

in any discernment stage, right?

904

:

You gotta go out there.

905

:

You gotta go move the car.

906

:

God will ultimately guide that car in

a specific direction, but you gotta go.

907

:

Put the pedal in like in drive, right?

908

:

You gotta go, move the car.

909

:

Right.

910

:

I think this is something that maybe I've

seen a little bit is, you know, a lot

911

:

of potentially, you know, some women.

912

:

it's like, don't

necessarily expect some St.

913

:

Joseph guy to just fall from the sky

magically and ask you on a date, right?

914

:

Like out there, put yourself in social

situations, continue to pray for your

915

:

future spouse, but, um, go out there and

if there's a guy you like, go stand next

916

:

to him, smile at him, nudge him, like

give him, give him a hint, you know, I

917

:

think guys want to ask girls on dates.

918

:

Um, but there's this whole fear of,

you know, maybe being creepy or being

919

:

rejected, that's a whole different

subject, but, um, go put yourself

920

:

out there and just, you know, at

the end of the day, the woman, like

921

:

the guy ultimately asks the girl

out on a date, but a lot of times

922

:

the woman leads the charge, right?

923

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241:

She gives a great answer.

924

:

brock-wordekemper_3_02-06-2025_180240:

gas,

925

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244:

we're kind of dumb, too.

926

:

So, like, I was going to say that, too.

927

:

You kind of got to, I mean, put

yourself, I don't know, just

928

:

to build off Brock, but, yeah.

929

:

Like, obviously be living, like,

what God is calling you to do, and

930

:

I think have a passion about that,

and not just be like, oh, all I

931

:

want is a man, all I want is a man.

932

:

That's a, that's a really good desire.

933

:

But kind of what I was talking about

before, like, that's all it's about.

934

:

I've, I don't know.

935

:

Um, but yeah, at the same time, you got to

like, if there's a guy you're interested

936

:

in, you kind of got to let them know.

937

:

a lot of times you're like, I am, it might

be like weak to actually don't get that.

938

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241:

He actually nods.

939

:

Yeah.

940

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: It's

called like dropping, I don't know,

941

:

like dropping handkerchiefs, but just.

942

:

Give the guy some hints that

you're interested, I think

943

:

gives, would give him confidence.

944

:

it probably takes a lot of courage,

you know, like I could get rejected

945

:

or it could be humiliating.

946

:

And I think at the end of

the day, like when you're on

947

:

your deathbed, going to care.

948

:

So,

949

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: So what

I'm hearing is, ladies, we need

950

:

to start carrying handkerchiefs.

951

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: Yes, exactly.

952

:

That would actually make

it a lot clearer for me.

953

:

I pick it up and like, okay, I'm

picking up what you're putting down.

954

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: That.

955

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: yeah,

just expressing in some way like that

956

:

you're interested in him and like

going just a bit farther than you think

957

:

probably would help him get it more.

958

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Okay.

959

:

So like what I'm hearing actually is

like, don't be afraid to be flirty.

960

:

If you are actually

interested in that man, like.

961

:

Give the hints that you are interested,

show that you're interested.

962

:

And honestly, it takes

courage on both sides.

963

:

I think that what we're saying

here in this conversation is like,

964

:

woman's got to give a green light,

you know, and that takes courage on

965

:

the woman's part to put herself out

there and be like, all right, like.

966

:

I'm going to like give

him a tap on the shoulder.

967

:

Like I'm going to give him eyes, like

I'm going to like be cute and flirty, you

968

:

know, and then also takes courage on the

man to like, take those cues and actually

969

:

be like, Hey, can I take you on a date?

970

:

And so it really is taking courage

from both sides to maybe step

971

:

out of your comfort zone a little

bit, maybe put yourself out there.

972

:

You both are kind of putting yourself

in a position to be rejected, but

973

:

by putting yourself out there, you

also are allowing yourself to maybe.

974

:

Find the one.

975

:

Have a great opportunity to, you

know, to, to start a relationship.

976

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: Mm-hmm Yeah.

977

:

brock-wordekemper_3_02-06-2025_180240:

and that's guys either to not, you know,

978

:

like, let's go ask, you know, you got

to go ask the girl out on a date too.

979

:

But I feel like from a girl,

it's a little bit more of a, you

980

:

come from a more of a safe spot.

981

:

Like, what do you, what do

you, what do you have to lose?

982

:

Just going and talking to the guy

and you'd be in just a little 40,

983

:

like, you got nothing to lose, right?

984

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: Yeah.

985

:

And I think last thing, and not

that I have other thoughts too, but

986

:

especially as you get older too, I

think, like I know that's really, it's

987

:

a really hard thing when women are

older and they're because it's, in

988

:

some ways it's not in their control.

989

:

Like, I'm a man, I can go ask a girl out.

990

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Right.

991

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: And

it's harder, it's harder for a woman.

992

:

So I think, yeah, there's

definitely for older women.

993

:

I mean, I think it can be

more intimidating for guys.

994

:

Even like, especially younger guys.

995

:

Um, or if they're like a couple

years younger than you, or whatever.

996

:

mari_3_02-06-2025_170241: Yeah.

997

:

anders-_3_02-06-2025_180244: And then

the other thing I think for women is,

998

:

um, I don't know, I think don't settle.

999

:

He's not going to be perfect,

but there are good men out there.

:

00:44:57,035 --> 00:44:59,624

you putting yourself in spots

where you can meet them?

:

00:45:00,605 --> 00:45:01,465

That's big, I think.

:

00:45:01,494 --> 00:45:05,665

Like, are you putting yourself in

spots where you can meet a godly

:

00:45:05,814 --> 00:45:08,685

Catholic man who's trying, least?

:

00:45:08,745 --> 00:45:09,955

Like, not perfect, but he's trying.

:

00:45:10,865 --> 00:45:14,315

And Jesus, Jesus is, it's scary.

:

00:45:14,445 --> 00:45:16,695

And like, I didn't think I'd be 20.

:

00:45:16,725 --> 00:45:17,805

I thought I'd be married by now.

:

00:45:18,605 --> 00:45:20,214

I thought I'd be married with a few kids.

:

00:45:20,495 --> 00:45:23,034

This isn't what I thought, like

the Lord's plan for me was.

:

00:45:23,035 --> 00:45:31,054

And just comes back to, um, just

like Jesus is so good and just really

:

00:45:31,055 --> 00:45:35,945

trusting in him in those hard times and

like, just keep living your daily life.

:

00:45:39,625 --> 00:45:41,195

Yeah, and everybody's story is different.

:

00:45:41,375 --> 00:45:42,655

Like, it's so easy to compare.

:

00:45:43,065 --> 00:45:47,655

But I've seen, like, so many different

people break up, they get back together.

:

00:45:47,865 --> 00:45:50,965

You know, just, everybody,

it's so easy to be like, Oh, my

:

00:45:50,965 --> 00:45:52,085

story doesn't look like theirs.

:

00:45:52,085 --> 00:45:53,685

But everybody's story is different.

:

00:45:55,155 --> 00:45:59,525

Like, both my siblings got married

when they were in their early 20s.

:

00:46:00,684 --> 00:46:02,155

My, my two siblings that are married.

:

00:46:02,155 --> 00:46:03,235

And that's not my story.

:

00:46:03,235 --> 00:46:06,785

I'm like, that's, that's okay, Jesus,

cause I don't, Something Mario said,

:

00:46:06,785 --> 00:46:08,325

I don't trust the planet, I trust you.

:

00:46:11,250 --> 00:46:12,139

How are you?

:

00:46:12,220 --> 00:46:12,990

That was a barn, right?

:

00:46:15,525 --> 00:46:16,565

-:

yeah, there's always an approach

:

00:46:16,715 --> 00:46:17,965

of sensitivity to it, right?

:

00:46:17,975 --> 00:46:19,145

Everyone's story's different.

:

00:46:19,145 --> 00:46:21,955

And, um, yeah, you have to

approach it different, you know,

:

00:46:21,955 --> 00:46:24,234

sometimes it's easy to say, like,

we'll go out there and do it.

:

00:46:24,265 --> 00:46:25,055

It's that easy.

:

00:46:25,085 --> 00:46:28,395

But, um, a lot of us know this firsthand.

:

00:46:28,395 --> 00:46:30,634

It's like, it's, it's not always

as easy as it looks either.

:

00:46:31,460 --> 00:46:31,880

-:

:

00:46:32,510 --> 00:46:32,770

Yeah.

:

00:46:32,770 --> 00:46:36,680

Thank you for your honesty and both

really both of you, because I mean,

:

00:46:36,690 --> 00:46:39,920

dating is like a fun, exciting topic

to talk about, but you're right.

:

00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,509

I mean, like when you're really in

the thick of it, you're like, no,

:

00:46:42,510 --> 00:46:46,330

I'm like genuinely trying to like,

enter into my vocation of marriage

:

00:46:46,330 --> 00:46:47,630

that God may be calling me to.

:

00:46:47,940 --> 00:46:48,350

And it is.

:

00:46:48,620 --> 00:46:51,850

When it's taking longer than you

expected and your life looks different

:

00:46:51,850 --> 00:46:54,250

than you expected, it's super hard.

:

00:46:54,530 --> 00:46:55,780

It's super, super hard.

:

00:46:55,780 --> 00:46:58,950

And I'm sure I know, I know many

women, friends of mine that are

:

00:46:59,420 --> 00:47:03,110

amazing women and, you know, men

that are amazing men that are like

:

00:47:03,110 --> 00:47:04,460

looking for their future spouse.

:

00:47:04,489 --> 00:47:09,139

And this season of waiting can be

so isolating and confusing and, um,

:

00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,640

Just really hard to be patient to

continue trusting the Lord in his plan.

:

00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:16,320

So thank you for your vulnerability

and thank you for just showing

:

00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,370

up and just giving it your all.

:

00:47:18,370 --> 00:47:21,329

Yeah,

:

00:47:22,170 --> 00:47:22,490

-:

:

00:47:23,290 --> 00:47:25,580

I've been around enough women to

know, like, all women are different.

:

00:47:25,589 --> 00:47:28,919

So that's why I was like, uh, I

have my thoughts, but other guys

:

00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:29,620

are going to think differently.

:

00:47:29,620 --> 00:47:30,130

And that's good.

:

00:47:30,710 --> 00:47:31,240

-:

:

00:47:31,319 --> 00:47:31,819

Totally.

:

00:47:32,940 --> 00:47:33,460

All right.

:

00:47:33,460 --> 00:47:37,935

Well, usually I ask my interviewers, like,

Where can people find more about you?

:

00:47:37,985 --> 00:47:41,625

Um, but we're not going to have

y'all put your phone number out here.

:

00:47:41,625 --> 00:47:44,815

And although I'm sure you're going

to get, so I'm going to get so

:

00:47:44,815 --> 00:47:48,554

many questions about like, Oh, you

know, where do I talk to Anders?

:

00:47:48,555 --> 00:47:50,485

Where do I, how do I find Brock?

:

00:47:50,875 --> 00:47:54,014

So, um, ladies, you're just going

to have to do your own Instagram

:

00:47:54,015 --> 00:47:56,035

stalking and, uh, slide into their DMS.

:

00:47:56,055 --> 00:47:57,395

If you want to chat it up,

:

00:47:58,919 --> 00:47:59,410

-:

I don't have a

:

00:47:59,445 --> 00:48:02,404

-:

One thing we didn't talk about, did

:

00:48:02,445 --> 00:48:03,745

we mention Anders height at all?

:

00:48:03,935 --> 00:48:07,625

So Anders is six four, by the

way, really big bench press.

:

00:48:08,435 --> 00:48:10,185

I think it was a four 75, four 85.

:

00:48:10,225 --> 00:48:10,725

I can't remember.

:

00:48:11,655 --> 00:48:12,394

Just by the way,

:

00:48:12,455 --> 00:48:12,965

-:

:

00:48:13,095 --> 00:48:13,205

-:

:

00:48:13,405 --> 00:48:14,635

-:

case anybody's wondering, and,

:

00:48:14,645 --> 00:48:15,714

uh, how tall are you Brock?

:

00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:17,649

-:

:

00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:18,100

-:

:

00:48:18,479 --> 00:48:19,929

-:

:

00:48:19,930 --> 00:48:21,289

I'm

:

00:48:21,670 --> 00:48:21,880

-:

Yeah.

:

00:48:22,180 --> 00:48:22,885

-:

:

00:48:25,035 --> 00:48:25,615

I'm fine.

:

00:48:28,350 --> 00:48:29,320

-:

actually only six foot.

:

00:48:30,810 --> 00:48:32,810

And I don't want to

assume you can't find me.

:

00:48:32,810 --> 00:48:35,935

My focus, if you want to join my

support team, come on mission with

:

00:48:36,235 --> 00:48:36,905

-:

:

00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:40,725

-:

I'm always looking for, you know,

:

00:48:40,725 --> 00:48:42,465

always more Bibles to buy guys here.

:

00:48:42,785 --> 00:48:43,415

-:

:

00:48:44,045 --> 00:48:47,545

Well, what Anders really means by wanting

a girl to be on mission with him is

:

00:48:47,545 --> 00:48:48,994

really, please join my support team.

:

00:48:50,875 --> 00:48:51,610

-:

That's part of it.

:

00:48:51,610 --> 00:48:54,565

But yeah, Mari, I'm proud of you.

:

00:48:55,405 --> 00:49:01,275

just remember you coming here, young,

young Mari, 22, and it was just so fun.

:

00:49:01,275 --> 00:49:02,525

And you're like my little sister.

:

00:49:02,525 --> 00:49:03,015

So it was just

:

00:49:03,154 --> 00:49:03,484

-:

:

00:49:03,784 --> 00:49:06,284

-:

to get to be on this and share.

:

00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:07,955

So, I just want you to know that.

:

00:49:07,955 --> 00:49:09,505

Trey, I'm proud of you too.

:

00:49:10,675 --> 00:49:12,725

And Joseph behind the scenes of all this.

:

00:49:13,025 --> 00:49:13,254

-:

:

00:49:13,255 --> 00:49:14,564

Nothing happens without Trey.

:

00:49:14,575 --> 00:49:18,444

He is, he's a big man behind

the scenes, but all right.

:

00:49:18,444 --> 00:49:19,365

Thank you guys.

:

00:49:19,605 --> 00:49:20,835

Such a good episode today.

:

00:49:20,835 --> 00:49:21,075

-:

Yep.

:

00:49:21,075 --> 00:49:21,615

Thank you, Maury.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for Ever Be

About the Podcast

Ever Be
A faith and lifestyle podcast.
The Ever Be Podcast is a faith and lifestyle podcast filled with meaningful conversations and practical tips that will inspire and empower you to live a Christ centered life in today’s modern world. Through her own experience of surrendering completely to God and finding true fullness of life, your host Mari Wagner, has committed to having God’s praise “ever be” on her lips and sharing that message with the world. Listen in for insightful, real life conversations and actionable steps on how to claim the full life God created you for.

With over 100K followers and counting, Instagram content creator and founder of the popular Catholic lifestyle brand, West Coast Catholic, Mari Wagner is showing the world how to live a bold, attractive, and fulfilling Catholic life by being in the world but not of it. On the podcast you’ll get a combination of heartfelt solo episodes with Mari, interviews with exciting guests, and up-close and personal time with both the Wagner’s—Mari and Trey. What more could you ask for?!

Finally! Answers to questions you’ve been asking like:
How do I infuse prayer into my daily life? How do I live out my Catholic faith? What is the best dating and marriage advice? What does a good Catholic marriage look like? How do I grow in homemaking skills and build a domestic church? How do I create a beautiful and welcoming home? What does a healthy and balanced lifestyle look like? Is it possible to find a solid community of like minded women?

Host Mari Wagner covers topics that you actually care about from faith life, to relationships and marriage, to homemaking, to healthy living. Each episode is crafted to resonate with your challenges and aspirations as a modern Christian woman seeking purpose, balance, and joy.

Tune into the Ever Be Podcast for valuable advice, relatable stories, expert insights and just some fun girl chats with someone who really gets you. Hit play to get out of the rut you constantly feel yourself in, and subscribe to join the community and experience the fullness of life Jesus has in store for you.

About your host

Profile picture for Mari Wagner

Mari Wagner