Episode 63

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Published on:

4th Jun 2025

63: Exactly How Satan is Attacking Women in Today's Culture | Emily Wilson

Mari Wagner welcomes guest Emily Wilson on the podcast to discuss her new book, 'Sincerely, Stoneheart.' Emily shares her journey of walking alongside women in ministry, the inspiration behind her book, and the importance of recognizing and combating the lies women believe about themselves. Together, they dive into the themes of identity, belovedness, and the spiritual battle women face. Whether through silence, prayer, or community, Emily offers practical advice for living in the freedom God intends. Perfect for women seeking to deepen their faith and embrace their true identity as beloved daughters of God.

Emily Wilson's Links

Sincerely, Stoneheart Book

FREE Book Discussion Guide

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Transcript
Speaker:

Hey, I am your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to The Ever Be

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Podcast where Faith Meets Lifestyle.

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I'm so excited you're here.

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Whether you're a new listener

or a longtime follower, I know

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there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful, real life conversations and

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actionable steps on how to claim the.

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Full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ-centered life in today's

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modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to ever be.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Welcome back to Ever Be Everybody.

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Today we have a friend Emily

Wilson on the podcast today.

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I'm sure a lot of you know who

she is and love her just as I do.

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So we're so excited to

have you today, Emily.

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Welcome.

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:

Thank you so much.

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It's great to talk with all of

you out there, wherever you're

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listening, all over the world.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Can you tell us a little bit about

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who you are and what you do, even

though I'm sure a lot of my listeners

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probably already know you in some form.

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah, it's a

joy to be able to walk alongside women.

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So for many years, um, I've been in

ministry with women, started as a high

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school teacher at an all girls school,

and the last 14 years has just been

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walking alongside women in ministry.

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I.

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The greatest joy of my life is

listening to women and having

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women share their stories with me.

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So I'm a wife, I'm a mother to three

little ones here in California.

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I was raised in Los Angeles.

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My husband is from the Netherlands.

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We dated long distance.

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Shout out to all you long distance Gs

and guy sat there if you're listening.

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Um, and it's just my joy to love

the Lord and share that love of the

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Lord in hopes that other people.

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Well, you know, just come to

know how much he loves them.

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That's the, the joy of

my heart and my life.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Yeah, I feel like you just, you

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know the feminine heart really

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: the

Lord has given you grace to speak

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into the feminine heart in a really.

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Gentle and loving, but also firm way.

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Like you're that big sister that's

like, you need to know the truth.

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And I'm gonna tell you the

truth 'cause you deserve it.

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And so we all need that and I'm really

excited for our conversation today.

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'cause it's all about

the theme of your new

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Ste.

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Sincerely, stone Heart, it's written in

the theme of the screw tape letters where.

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is writing to his little

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

about how to attack and destroy women.

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How lovely.

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes.

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Right.

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It is lovely.

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It's very intense.

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But as you know, as we know, um, there's

a spiritual reality happening in our

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lives today, and the devil wants to

discourage us, steal, kill, and destroy.

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He wants that for all of us.

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And so that's where, um, you know,

my heart was born out of this book in

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seeing women over these 14 years and

them sharing their hearts with me.

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Just dumping their hearts out on

retreats and at events and all over

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the place, um, about the ways the enemy

wants to, and, and does try to steal,

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kill, and destroy our hearts as women.

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So thanks for reading the book.

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I'm so grateful to be

here to talk about it.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Yeah, totally.

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Let's just dive in.

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What inspired you to write sincerely,

stone Heartd, and specifically in

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that format that it is written,

the Demon to Demon Letters format.

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How did writing it in that

perspective, like how did that reveal

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more to you about the spiritual

battle that we're facing as women

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:

Yeah, absolutely.

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So the, the thing about the screw

tape letters, you don't have to have

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read the screw tape letters in order

to read sincerely stone heartd.

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It's just the premise.

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And I walk you through the

premise and the introduction.

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The, the screw tape letters really

changed the way people see in the

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sense of when CS Lewis wrote that,

people read it and they thought.

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I have never thought about it this way.

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I have never thought about the, the very

detail oriented nature of the way that the

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devil is trying to pull me away from God.

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So for many dozens of years, people have

been been writing what I would call screw

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tape, sequels their own take on this

premise, out of their own lens, out of

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their own faith, out of their own life.

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And mine specifically was

these 14 years of seeing.

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How discouraged women are, how fearful

women are, how sorrowful women are.

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We're so beautiful, made in the image and

likeness of God and I've, I've walked with

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thousands of women for all these years

looking at their faces, thinking, oh my

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gosh, I wish you knew how loved you are.

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Why?

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Like, how are women so discouraged?

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In the pandemic.

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I was sitting at home a lot.

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I was pregnant with my second son.

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Um, and I really got to thinking it.

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It really was born outta that.

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I really got to thinking,

what is this all about?

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Like, why, and I knew, but when I

started to unpack it this way, I thought,

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man, what if I just, you know, started

writing down the lies that I've heard

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women believe for all these years.

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So I started writing them down.

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All these papers all over the place.

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Um, and it just came to be and I thought,

man, I should just, just try my hand

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at writing it like that to see if that

lights something up in my own heart.

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Um, and, you know, and maybe reveals

something for women about the truth.

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So I started writing and writing

and writing and it changed.

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My whole life seeing it in this way, I,

I have, I have never seen things more

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clearly ever in my whole entire life

about the ways the devil hates us and

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wants us to live in fear and sorrow.

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And I hope that comes across in the

book for women like you who read

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it, who think, oh my goodness, I

have never even thought about this.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Yeah.

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And I think when you read it, a lot is

revealed and it makes sense because women

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are the crown of creation, the heart

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: home.

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And if the evil one can destroy

her and her identity and bring her

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down, I mean, there's such a ripple

effect that happens from that.

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Like the family is destroyed,

like, you know what I mean?

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Like

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes,

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

is destroyed from that.

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So, um.

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Yeah.

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So much is revealed and so important

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: yes.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: from

that book, what do you feel like some of

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the most common or subtle lies are that

the enemy is speaking to women today?

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Hmm,

that's a really good question.

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Um, I think the, one of the big ones

and social media comes to play, you

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know, and a big part in this is.

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That other women have so much more of a

purpose than you and that you like all

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of these women, they were made to shine.

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They were made to, you know, make big

waves in the world and you are useless and

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dumb and have nothing to offer the world.

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I have heard this from

so many women who think.

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God gave me nothing to

share with the world.

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I don't have any gifts.

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Like look at all these other women

and they're just so sorrowful and

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they feel so broken about that.

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And life isn't about being like, oh, I'm

so great and God gave me so many gifts.

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It's good when we recognize what our

gifts are and we can say those out loud.

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This is a charism, right,

or a gift God has given me.

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But the enemy wants women to believe

I have nothing to offer the world

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because women were each of us.

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A sister named Sister Faustina.

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She said it on a retreat once.

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She said, you reflect

a piece of God's glory.

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No one else ever will.

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And the Lord wants us to live like that.

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And the enemy wants us to say, I have

nothing to offer the world, because

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what we have to offer, the world

is God's glory alive inside of us.

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And if the enemy can silence that, or

dampen that, or destroy that altogether,

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what an accomplishment for him.

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What an accomplishment for him.

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So I feel like that is one of the

subtleties of women thinking, man, oh man.

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Everybody else has something to share.

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Not like share like we do online, but

just like share in your life and your

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family in the world, and I've got

nothing so that you don't share the

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glory God gave you with the world.

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Do you feel like, what do you feel

like is the most subtle lie in your

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ministry with women that you see

women believing and maybe living

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from a place of in their hearts and

in their choices and in their lives?

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Yeah, honestly that they're not

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enough and I think that that just, I

mean, relates to what you're saying.

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'cause You know, as women, like I.

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We fall into comparison so often.

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So if we do see, you know,

other women like that, we think,

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wow, they have all these gifts,

they're doing all these things.

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And look at me here.

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You know, you fall into the,

well, maybe I'm just not enough.

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Maybe I'm just not good enough.

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Um, and I think another light too

is like I, that they can't hear God

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Good one.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

This, uh, beautiful ministry that

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we get to experience at Seek online

through, um, incredible women that we

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look up to in our spiritual journey.

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It's easy to look at them

and be like they hear God.

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have all these insightful things to say.

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They have, you know, all these

beautiful truths that God has revealed

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to them to speak to other women.

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And here I am, you know, as the listener,

like, what do, how do I hear God?

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I don't hear God.

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He might not be with me.

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Um,

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

And we know, and we know that that's

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not true, and we know that the Lord

speaks to all of us in such different

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: yeah.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

reaches us in such different ways

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and uses different people to.

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Carry out his plan of salvation

in, in different ways.

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Like we all make up the body of Christ and

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

there's that thing, right?

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Like the body needs both the

hand and the feet and the head.

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We need all the parts and

they don't look alike.

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They don't all have the same mission,

but without one, the body's incomplete.

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Absolutely.

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That's a big one.

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And I talk about that a lot in the book.

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And one of the biggest reasons why we

think we can't hear God is because we

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have noise in our lives all the time.

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And I know your listeners out there, you

are listening to this, and I pray that

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it edifies you and it encourages you and

it supports you on your faith journey.

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But so often in our lives we have

needless noise, noise that we do not need.

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Noise that does not edify us.

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Noise that does not support, um,

positivity in our lives and encouragement.

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In the book, I talk about that lie, and

it was so mind boggling for me because

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I've been in that place, like you say

of I can't hear God, how do I hear him?

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Yet my life is filled with noise.

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And I say this line in the book, when

most of the noise is silent, she won't

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realize how truly deafening it is.

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Because how often are we

watching reels, right?

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With no sound on?

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How often are we like just like

reading articles, reading news,

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reading all these things, and ingesting

all this noise just with our eyes.

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We're looking at all these videos and

we're looking at all these things.

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I.

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No wonder we think we can't hear God.

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All of this stuff is cluttering our minds.

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So the lie that I can't hear God,

if that's something you believe

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out there, that Mari has, you know,

talked about here, ask yourself.

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What am I doing to change that?

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If anything?

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What am I doing to try to hear God more?

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Am I even spending time in silence?

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Am I even going to the adoration

chapel just to sit with the

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Lord for 15 minutes straight?

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Not to look at anything, not to

think about anything, but just to be.

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See what happens.

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You know those lies when

we say, I believe this lie.

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Okay, what are you doing about it?

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How are you fighting back against it?

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That lie is so prevalent, and I think it's

such a good one to identify for women.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Yeah, and

you, you mentioned that too, about how the

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enemy just wants women to be distracted,

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: confused,

like bombarded and I mean, everything you

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said, I think we all can relate to that.

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And it's crazy to think that what

seems like should be a simple solution.

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Silence.

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Right?

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Do nothing.

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Consume nothing.

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Hear, not just sit in the presence of

God is actually such a challenge and even

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like terrifying for some people to face.

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Because once we actually, I mean

I've experienced it in my own life,

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when we actually leave room for

silence in a space where we feel.

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Like we are believing lies.

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Like what are we gonna hear?

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What's gonna come up?

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What is gonna be revealed in our

hearts that we're gonna have to face?

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That's a lot harder than being like,

Yeah, something doesn't feel good,

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but I'm just gonna like, numb it out

with a doom scroll or binge watch or

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live through someone else vicariously

because I'm trying to ignore everything

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going on, um, in my own life.

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So.

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From your advice, you know, and your

heart that you see and love women

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with, how can we practically guard

against that in our everyday lives?

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: so in my

house we call it peace and quiet.

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I, it's one of my main priorities.

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I have a couple of really strong,

main priorities with my children, and

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I know some of your listeners are.

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Mothers and some of them are not.

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But in with my own children,

I prioritize peace and quiet.

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And I give them, I typically give them

the option, like if we're driving in

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the car, um, I'll say, do you want some

music or do you want peace and quiet?

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And so many times they say,

I want peace and quiet.

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Both of them.

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My boys are six four.

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And at home if someone is, you know,

wants to listen to music or whatever,

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and the other one says, I really

want peace and quiet right now.

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That person takes precedence.

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We are like, peace and quiet

is the most, one of the most

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important things in our house.

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So if someone's heart desires that they

trump everything, they trump everybody

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who wants to listen to music or anything

like that because it's so important.

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So that's my question for women.

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And there's, you know, a lot of.

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Ways that people do this.

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Like Edith Stein says, the first

hour of your morning belongs to God.

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Right.

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And to, to center everything there.

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And before I had children, I could do

that, which was such a beautiful thing to

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give the first hour of my morning to God.

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I give it in a different way now

by making cereal and cutting fruit

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and all those things, but in the

peace and quiet way, you know?

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And so my question, you know.

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For women would be, how are you

prioritizing peace and quiet in your life?

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And are you, are you

prioritizing it at all?

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And yes, like Mari said, it's, it,

it, you know, uncomfortable feelings

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come up and things you don't want to

think about come up in that peace and

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quiet when those things come up, give

it to the Lord right away, Lord Jesus,

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I didn't even wanna think about this.

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And right now I'm gonna give it to you.

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Instead of scrolling or eating or

watching or whatever it is, Lord

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Jesus, when these things come up,

make a very specific pointed effort.

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When uncomfortable things come up,

memories, whatever it is, it could be

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so many things, hand it over to him.

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Say, Jesus, I don't

wanna think about this.

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I'm going to give it to you.

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Right?

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And let him, if you're continuing

to think about it, let him be there

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as you think about these things

and face these things in your life.

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Does that make sense?

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Yeah, I love that piece of advice.

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I love the immediacy of it.

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Like as soon as we recognize that, or

a memory or a, a feeling that is not of

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

like comes up, give that to the

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Lord instead of letting it linger.

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'cause that's what the evil wants to

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: let it

linger, let it fester, let it take root.

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And the more you think about it, the

more you're like, maybe this is true.

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Maybe this is who I am.

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So that immediacy of like, oh,

that's, that's not the Lord's voice.

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I'm gonna give it back.

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I'm gonna give it

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

That's gotta be.

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes.

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Immediacy immediately.

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And that's, you know, the whole premise of

the book is wanting to fight back against

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the, the lies of the enemy immediately.

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Right?

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And the lies of the enemy aren't

always like memories that come up or

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things that we're struggling with.

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That's not always the case, but that

immediacy of always going to the Lord.

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Everything in everything my,

all my instant response, right?

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That's what the saints

showed us so beautifully.

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And I think that the Saints

had this internal position

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of, in all things, right?

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Really believing that scripture

Apart from him, I can do nothing.

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Um, really just being there in that

instantaneous, give everything to

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Jesus, invite Jesus into everything.

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Woo.

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That'll change your life.

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mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

That will change your life.

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I think some listeners may be hearing

this section right now and just kind

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of wonder like, okay, I don't even

know how to identify that though.

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Like, I don't even know.

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I can't do the immediate, you know, gift

back to the Lord if I can't identify that.

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So how do we begin to recognize the voice

of the enemy versus the voice of God?

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The voice of the Holy Spirit.

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emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:

That's a great question.

351

:

Well, I highly recommend reading

sincerely, stone Heartd, because when

352

:

I wrote it in the way that the devil

speaks to me and speaks to other

353

:

women, oh man, I know so clearly.

354

:

Now, when that voice comes in,

right, and I'm whatever, putting

355

:

the baby to bed at night, and that

voice that's so cutting and so awful

356

:

says like, you're a horrible mother.

357

:

You're a horrible mother.

358

:

You know?

359

:

I get tears in my eyes singing about

it, thinking about just all the

360

:

lies that women believe in, that

cutting voice that follows us all.

361

:

Writing it out, right, and

speaking it in the audio book

362

:

was a whole different thing.

363

:

Speaking as the way the

364

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: I bet.

365

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: devil

has spoken to women, like saying

366

:

it all out loud was really insane.

367

:

But when I wrote this and.

368

:

You know, the process of that, it's

like, oh, when that voice comes

369

:

in, I'm like, I know that voice.

370

:

It's not the voice of the Lord.

371

:

Because, you know, you might have

seen these graphs online that say

372

:

like, the voice of God is gentle and

loving and kind and good, and the

373

:

voice of the enemy is cutting and it's

pressure filled, and it's, you know,

374

:

it, it makes me feel anxiety, right.

375

:

That that's great.

376

:

Those graphs are great, but until I can

recognize that in my own heart to say.

377

:

This voice that tells me I'm a bad

mother, or this voice that tells me I'm

378

:

a failure, or this voice that I tell

tells me I'm messing up everything.

379

:

It's cutting and it's ugly and it's

awful, and that's never the voice of God.

380

:

So I'm so much better able to

identify in those moments, right?

381

:

When I hear those lies, I'm like, oh,

this is not the voice of my father.

382

:

Get behind me.

383

:

Satan.

384

:

I'm so much more inclined to know,

like, oh, I know who this is.

385

:

Like, it's not even a question anymore.

386

:

After doing this, and that's what I

hope for women, is that as they see how

387

:

cutting and awful conniving and subtle

the voice of the enemy is, when that

388

:

voice comes up, they say, I know the

voice of my father, and this isn't it.

389

:

This isn't it.

390

:

I'm not gonna listen.

391

:

I'm not gonna give into your games.

392

:

I'm not going to bow to the

ways that you're trying to

393

:

steal, kill and destroy me.

394

:

Get outta here.

395

:

And then you proceed with

life and love and joy, and the

396

:

hope that God wants for you.

397

:

It's, you know, and not to make it

sound easier than it is, but is this

398

:

process of like, Lord, help me to

identify this voice so I can live in the

399

:

freedom that you made me for, you know.

400

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Yeah, and

I think the word cutting is so precise.

401

:

Like when you said that, I

was like, that's how it feels.

402

:

And I think it does take listening

to conversations like this, reading

403

:

the book, just kind of being faced

with the reality to recognize that.

404

:

'cause sometimes it can be, at least in my

experience, so disguised in my own voice.

405

:

Where it's like this negative

self-talk of you, like, oh,

406

:

you didn't do that very well.

407

:

Oh, you definitely aren't

good enough at this.

408

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

409

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

should have tried harder, X, Y, Z.

410

:

You know?

411

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.

412

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

not being a good wife, you're not

413

:

being a good daughter about all these

414

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

415

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: And

it sounds like yourself, and it sounds

416

:

like I'm just trying to be better.

417

:

And it's funny because there are

times when, well, two things.

418

:

One, I've come to notice, as you said,

that word cutting, that's what it

419

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

420

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

like a pie.

421

:

like a bad piercing.

422

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.

423

:

Mm-hmm.

424

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: That

feels so uncomfortable and that hurt me.

425

:

And then too, I think, a, a gift of

marriage too is as you begin to get

426

:

to know your spouse, they begin to

get to, they begin to know what that

427

:

voice looks like for you as well.

428

:

And so there's been several moments

in the past, I mean, few months even

429

:

where I've been saying things out

loud to Trey and he's been like.

430

:

Stop that is not the voice of God.

431

:

And you know, he has to be firm

sometime and be like, that is not true.

432

:

Like, we are not going to say that again.

433

:

We're not going to believe that.

434

:

And times when I've even asked him,

I'm like, can you just pray for me?

435

:

Because I like that seems true to

436

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

437

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

And when he's able to kind of say

438

:

that to me and pray for me in those

moments, that brings me outta that

439

:

even more to recognize that those.

440

:

Words were lies.

441

:

He reminds me of my truth, which

always brings me back to my identity.

442

:

And that's something that you

talk about a lot as well, is how

443

:

as women, we're God's beloved.

444

:

That's our truest identity.

445

:

And I think in the Catholic world,

this term of God's beloved or

446

:

daughter or daughter can be so

light sometimes 'cause we hear it.

447

:

So often it's like, what does

it mean to be a daughter?

448

:

Does it just mean to like wear a

pretty dress and just like, you

449

:

know, like love our femininity?

450

:

But I feel like it's so

much fiercer than that.

451

:

can you share some practical ways that we

can root our identity in that truth every

452

:

single day and be reminded about that

every day, even when we don't feel like

453

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah, so

the exploration of identity as beloved

454

:

in the book started in the chapter.

455

:

Looking at the keys, I think

it's letter three, and the Lord

456

:

gave me this insane analogy.

457

:

Um, I.

458

:

You know, many of you out there

might have identified with this,

459

:

um, you lose your car keys, right?

460

:

And you're going to an appointment,

you're going somewhere,

461

:

you're going to this thing.

462

:

You gotta get to this party, and

you cannot find your car keys.

463

:

And has this happened to you ever?

464

:

Mari?

465

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: The,

the day I read that chapter, Emily,

466

:

I ran late because I lost my car keys

and I was like, oh my gosh, Emily.

467

:

It's like you're here.

468

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Totally.

469

:

So women listening out there, you

are looking for your car keys and

470

:

you're frantic, and you're looking

around everywhere and you're

471

:

looking in your pockets, right?

472

:

As a mom, I'm taking the kids to the park.

473

:

You know, it's winter time,

you have your jackets.

474

:

You're like, oh my gosh,

are they in a pocket?

475

:

Are they in the diaper bag?

476

:

Are they in.

477

:

Wherever they are.

478

:

And you're frantically looking

around everywhere thinking, oh my

479

:

gosh, I'm gonna miss a meeting.

480

:

Oh my gosh, this is, this is horrible.

481

:

This is how the enemy wants us

looking for our, our identity.

482

:

This is how he wants us to be

frantically searching high and

483

:

low in every pocket in everything.

484

:

All of those things being analogies

for where we look for identity in our

485

:

appearances, in our accomplishments,

in, um, you know, the life, the

486

:

life milestones we've achieved.

487

:

Right.

488

:

All of these different places.

489

:

The enemy wants us in this frantic,

frenzied, anxious, stressful search

490

:

for identity, our identity as beloved.

491

:

And I'll spoil it.

492

:

'cause there's a lot of letters

if you choose to read it.

493

:

I say in that letter.

494

:

The letters were in her back

pocket the whole time, right?

495

:

And if you're a person who wears

glasses, you know, you're like

496

:

looking at everywhere for your glasses

497

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: were

498

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: and

your glasses are on your head and

499

:

you're like, oh my gosh, I'm such

a dumb, dumb all along, or this

500

:

thing that you're looking for.

501

:

It was in the most obvious place.

502

:

We all know that feeling.

503

:

That is our identity as beloved.

504

:

It is in your back pocket.

505

:

I could sob my eyes out thinking

about how much I want women to

506

:

believe this, like you said.

507

:

It can become a light saying

like, oh, I'm a daughter of God.

508

:

Like, you know, like talks we used

to hear when we were teenage girls,

509

:

like, you're a princess, like wave

your W high and all the girls who you

510

:

know who like hate, that's like barf.

511

:

I don't identify with this at all,

and it becomes this cheesy thing,

512

:

but man, it is the least cheesy

thing in history is our belonging

513

:

to the Lord is our belonging in his.

514

:

Family is in the reality that we

are beloved and we don't have to

515

:

look a certain way to earn that.

516

:

We don't have to achieve a

life milestone to earn that.

517

:

We don't have to do all the

right things to, for God to

518

:

say, yes, now you've earned it.

519

:

Now you've done enough.

520

:

Now you've, you've done, you've done well.

521

:

It's not, that's not the

way that it is in our life.

522

:

We've so been conditioned to earn things.

523

:

I talk in the book about

report cards, right?

524

:

And you have to get the right

grades and do the right things.

525

:

The Lord's like you don't

stop looking, stop being

526

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Um,

527

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: so

frantic, stop being so frenzied.

528

:

Would you just rest?

529

:

Right?

530

:

The loving voice of the Lord, right?

531

:

That 'cause convicts me sometimes

and says, would you just rest in it?

532

:

Would you just slow down and believe?

533

:

That the keys are here, like I'm here.

534

:

Your belovedness cannot be

changed, cannot be stripped away.

535

:

And so for women really to start their

believing, not in a cheesy way, it's

536

:

it, it's, it's already within me.

537

:

I am already beloved.

538

:

It's not something I'm gonna find.

539

:

It's not something that I'm gonna earn.

540

:

It's something God has given me to

ask the Lord to help you embrace.

541

:

That will change everything.

542

:

At least it did for me.

543

:

I don't know if you can

speak to that yourself.

544

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Oh, absolutely.

545

:

And I think the thing that helps me as I

get older is going back to like a young

546

:

version of myself, a like little, little

mari like baby Mari, because I grow older.

547

:

You know the Lord has, we

talked about gifts earlier.

548

:

Sometimes you recognize like, wow,

look at all the gifts God's given me.

549

:

I can do it myself.

550

:

And you think that like you,

you're, you become self-reliant.

551

:

You're like, I can do so much.

552

:

I can do it myself, and we only go

to God and we really need something.

553

:

But what has really helped me go back to

my daughter, my belovedness, and my need

554

:

for my father, and how my worth comes

from my father, not in what I can do or.

555

:

Or provide or perform going

back to this like baby Mari self

556

:

because she needs her dad so much.

557

:

And the image I have in my brain

is this picture that my mom took of

558

:

me and my dad when I was a newborn.

559

:

It's one of my favorite

photos I have of my childhood.

560

:

My dad is lying in bed and I'm

literally just a few days old, like

561

:

curled up on his chest and he's

kissing my head and I'm just like.

562

:

That's daughter like curled up on

your father's chest knowing you don't

563

:

have anywhere to go, but to be there

and receive he's providing for you.

564

:

The safety, the love, the

providence, like oh, the grace that

565

:

God is always bestowing upon us.

566

:

And he is just saying

like, you just need me.

567

:

You just need to be here with me and

like I am giving you your daughter,

568

:

your worth, your belovedness, and

you don't need to find it anywhere

569

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

570

:

I love that.

571

:

And I think sometimes it can be hard

to believe in that belovedness for

572

:

women whose fathers were awful and

whose fathers, you know, were really

573

:

absent, non-existent, their fathers

who were cutting voices in their lives.

574

:

And to those women who think

like, man, it's so hard for

575

:

me to accept that identity as

beloved because I have no idea.

576

:

What the love of a good father looks like.

577

:

Really simple prayers each and every day.

578

:

Say, Lord, teach me what the

love of a good father looks like.

579

:

Right?

580

:

Show me your love.

581

:

Heal my heart.

582

:

Let me embrace, um, what true fatherhood

was supposed to look like from you Lord.

583

:

And like, ask for that every single day

and let the Lord heal those places in your

584

:

heart if you really struggle to believe.

585

:

That the love of a father

can be good at all.

586

:

He wants to heal that in your heart,

and he wants you, like Mari said,

587

:

like he said, to be, you know, just

curled up in his chest to teach you

588

:

what that feels like and what that

love that you should have received

589

:

throughout your life is like from his

heart in that most, most pointedly

590

:

in that peace and quiet with him.

591

:

There's a quote that I love that

says There is a peace that can be

592

:

found only in listening to the quiet

of God's love for you, and like the

593

:

Lord's healing can come in that place.

594

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

I love how that includes the word

595

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

596

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: us back

597

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

598

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

silence that we need to

599

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.

600

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Uh, I'm curious, Emily, was there a

601

:

particular lie in the book that you

personally wrestled with as you were

602

:

writing it, that you just felt like,

dang, this is cutting me to the heart.

603

:

How did God walk you through it?

604

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes.

605

:

That's a great question and I

might, um, throw that question

606

:

back to you after this.

607

:

After I say mine, the

heart will, there are so.

608

:

In the beginning, the book was

a self portrait of the ways

609

:

the enemy worked is on me.

610

:

But as I started writing, it became

a portrait of all, it's like a memoir

611

:

of everything I've ever heard women

share with me for the past 14 years.

612

:

The one that is so closely related

to the biggest struggle that

613

:

I have in my life is letter.

614

:

41, it's called the empty theater.

615

:

And in it, I talk about could have,

would've, should have, and how the enemy

616

:

works on me and tries to steal, kill,

and destroy my peace every day by having

617

:

me look at the past and all the ways

I've messed up and all the people I I've

618

:

let down, and all the ways that I wish

things had gone differently or things

619

:

that I wish I had done differently.

620

:

And like that.

621

:

Oh man, I cried so much writing that

letter because the enemy wants me just

622

:

stuck in the past looking in the rear

view mirror of life thinking, man, oh

623

:

man, I wish that had gone differently.

624

:

I wish I made a different choice.

625

:

Whatever it is, just stuck there.

626

:

And how many women can identify with

that of being stuck in the past, right?

627

:

You just can't let go of whatever it is.

628

:

Your boyfriend, your memories,

your choices, whatever, and how

629

:

the enemy just wants us there.

630

:

Could have, would've, should have.

631

:

You could have done this,

you should have done this.

632

:

Things would've been so different.

633

:

Have you had, had you gone this way?

634

:

And I talk about how my life

has kind of felt in this way

635

:

that the enemy works on me.

636

:

Like I'm sitting in an empty theater and

across the screen, right, the movie of my

637

:

life is playing and all of the things that

I regret or wish had gone differently.

638

:

Play all the time.

639

:

And the enemies, they're

like, you're so stupid.

640

:

Like, oh my goodness,

look how you've messed up.

641

:

Look at you.

642

:

Let her down so much.

643

:

You, you didn't do that.

644

:

Like, look, you're such a failure.

645

:

And it destroys me.

646

:

And I think there are kind

of two sides to the coin.

647

:

Women who struggle with living too

much in the past, and then women

648

:

who worry constantly about the

future, the enemy's like, oh ahead.

649

:

There's so many scary things.

650

:

It's all gonna be awful.

651

:

Right?

652

:

And so I think, I really think there are

like two types of people in the world, um,

653

:

who struggle with these different things.

654

:

But for me.

655

:

Man identifying that now when that voice

comes up, like you're so dumb, you should

656

:

have done, you know that differently.

657

:

I just say, get behind me, Satan.

658

:

I ain't focused in on the past.

659

:

I'm looking forward through the windshield

rather than the rear view mirror,

660

:

and it's gonna change everything I.

661

:

On the other side of the coin, what

would you say in the book was, or

662

:

in your life even right now, if you

can share in vulnerability with your

663

:

listeners the lie that you maybe have

believed, um, that was highlighted in

664

:

the book or maybe not, um, a lie that

you struggle or you're wrestling with in

665

:

your life in this season here and now.

666

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Yes, totally.

667

:

I think for me it's just this underlying

lie of like you have to earn, God's love.

668

:

And it's funny because with the formation

I've received throughout my life and

669

:

as a missionary, like my head I know,

oh, I don't have to earn God's love.

670

:

God loves me.

671

:

But then.

672

:

In the depths of my heart and that cutting

voice that comes in somehow, that's always

673

:

how it's wrapped up to be like, oh, you

should have done better because then you

674

:

know, God would've blessed you better.

675

:

And it's kind of this connection between

like the, the better you perform,

676

:

the better blessings God gives you.

677

:

It's almost like he gives you

blessings according to how well you.

678

:

Earned it.

679

:

And that might come from being

the eldest daughter, being a

680

:

perfectionist, being a high achiever.

681

:

You know, it's all like intricately

like the Lord, not the Lord.

682

:

I think the evil one even uses some

strengths that we have to break us down

683

:

and to kind of distort how God approaches

us and views us, and that has, yeah, been

684

:

something that I've been wrestling with.

685

:

Tremendously the past three years

of as we've tried to start a

686

:

family and to have faced struggles

we did not think we would face.

687

:

And coming from, like, my story

with the Lord was like, we were

688

:

always walking hand in hand.

689

:

Like we always had the same plan and

like, you know, that was the college

690

:

we wanted to go to and that's where

we went and that's the man we wanted

691

:

to marry and that's who we married.

692

:

And you know, this is the job we wanted.

693

:

So that's what we got.

694

:

And so it was like we're always

working hand in hand and I'm working

695

:

for the Lord and he's blessing me.

696

:

And then, you know, one day it was like

I was still working for the Lord, but

697

:

then this like one prayer of like wanting

motherhood did not come to fruition

698

:

and continued to not come to fruition.

699

:

And all of a sudden I was like, am does

the Lord not trust me to be a mother?

700

:

Like, am I not doing things good enough?

701

:

You know, like, and I've, and

I've spent my life like serving

702

:

the Lord and like glorifying him.

703

:

So like.

704

:

I don't, I deserve that.

705

:

Like we would be great parents, Lord.

706

:

You know, and it's, it's, it's funny,

I was with my, um, sister-in-law

707

:

at the zoo over Mother's Day.

708

:

we were seeing a ton of families, um,

you know, around with their children.

709

:

And, and sometimes you look at

some that look a little like,

710

:

interesting and you're like, Hmm.

711

:

they're, and they, the Lord gave them

children, you know, like covered in

712

:

tattoos and piercings, head to toe.

713

:

And you just kind of wonder like,

where, what is the history here?

714

:

And like, and, and the Lord deemed

them to be a mother, but not me.

715

:

So it's easy to kind of fall into that.

716

:

For me sometimes that's the lie

and I have to, um, have, yeah,

717

:

that reframing of just like.

718

:

The Lord is not conditional upon anything.

719

:

His love is not conditional upon anything.

720

:

He didn't bring you in into existence

because of how well he thought

721

:

you would glorify him or how well

he thought you would serve him.

722

:

'cause in fact, he knew you were human.

723

:

He knew you would fall.

724

:

And so if he thought you were going,

like he didn't bring you in 'cause

725

:

he thought you were gonna be perfect.

726

:

And so just always going back to

the Lord's love is unconditional.

727

:

The Lord's love is always there and you

don't have to do anything to earn it.

728

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.

729

:

I so appreciate your vulnerability

about this, your openness about this,

730

:

because I think that there's a lot

of women, you know, and I know that

731

:

you connect with them so beautifully,

silently, struggling with that or with

732

:

unanswered prayers for the women out

there who wanna get married so badly

733

:

and they think, man, what did I miss?

734

:

What did I do wrong?

735

:

Lord, I thought you loved me.

736

:

When the Lord really, and we have

to go back to that very difficult.

737

:

To embrace sometimes reality

that the Lord's love is not, it's

738

:

in what he gives, but it is not

based on what he gives, right?

739

:

Like when you look, um, at the Prodigal

son and he comes home, right in life

740

:

and all the things that he went and

did and all that stuff, and I'm not

741

:

comparing anybody who has desires

of their heart to the prodigal son.

742

:

Understand what I'm saying?

743

:

His desire, right, in all things was for.

744

:

The father, right?

745

:

He wanted to just come back and be with

the Father, and it's this beautiful

746

:

thing that the Lord has shown me right

throughout the time of the prayers

747

:

that I have prayed or whatever it is.

748

:

That question of like, are you

running back home to me or are

749

:

you just running to me in general?

750

:

Maybe not as a pral son after being

with the pigs, but just running to me

751

:

in general and as you run to me, are you

looking at me or are you looking over

752

:

my shoulder at what you want me to give

you at what you hope is gonna be there?

753

:

If you love me fully, if you give

of your heart fully, you know

754

:

I hear like the, the lie that

drives me crazy for so many women.

755

:

Like once you give your heart

to the Lord fully, that's when

756

:

he'll bring the right man for you.

757

:

Like that's when you'll meet him.

758

:

And I'm like, it's not true.

759

:

We want the Lord, love the Lord with

all our heart, mind, soul, and strength.

760

:

It is not this, this, this bar that

you meet and then the Lord's like,

761

:

yes, now I'm gonna send you this man.

762

:

Now I will send you a child.

763

:

Now I will do whatever it might be.

764

:

These things are so hard to wrestle

with and I love your openness to sharing

765

:

about, you know, just your journey

and loving the Lord and having this.

766

:

Deep desire in your heart and

continuing to just glorify the Lord

767

:

where he has you in the here and now.

768

:

It's such a beautiful testament for women.

769

:

Your light and your love, and your faith.

770

:

So thank you for sharing that, even in the

midst of this struggle that you're facing

771

:

in your life with your husband right now.

772

:

Yeah.

773

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: totally.

774

:

And I mean, something you said is

775

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: What I.

776

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

back to a lot is like, do I.

777

:

love the Lord because of what he

gives or because of who He's, and

778

:

it's been refining for me, and I

mean, I know that anybody who's gone

779

:

through deep, deep suffering, while

it's a mystery and confusing many

780

:

times, if the Lord allows you to see.

781

:

Purpose in it.

782

:

You almost are grateful for

783

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Uh.

784

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: You

almost are grateful for it because

785

:

you realize, I mean, I've realized

like my relationship with God would

786

:

not be what it is today, and I would

not have grown the ways that I have

787

:

if I had not faced this challenge.

788

:

Um, and so my trust is deepened and it is

beautiful and it's still hard, you know,

789

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.

790

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: hard.

791

:

It still requires daily yes to

the Lord, daily reminders that

792

:

his love is unconditional and

that I don't have to earn it.

793

:

Um.

794

:

But Yeah.

795

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.

796

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: you

for, for recognizing that vulnerability.

797

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:

It's so powerful.

798

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: we wrap

up, Emily, if your readers would walk

799

:

away with one truth from this book, what

would it be That you want them to know?

800

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: That God

made you to live in freedom and that's

801

:

another thing that beco can become light.

802

:

Like you could put that on a tote bag.

803

:

God made you for freedom, but God like

actually deeply wants you so surrendered

804

:

in the every day so surrendered to where

he's taking you, what he's doing, how,

805

:

how he's moving, how he's loving, so

that you can like live in this freedom.

806

:

From worry, from fear,

from this discouragement.

807

:

It's like a burden on your back,

like you're carrying around

808

:

a backpack full of bricks and

trying to get through every day.

809

:

No wonder you're exhausted.

810

:

No wonder you're, you

know, just so broken down.

811

:

The Lord wants to like, take every

brick out of the, outta your back.

812

:

You're a failure.

813

:

You're all, all the, all these lies

that you believe day in and day out.

814

:

He wants to take 'em all

off your back so you can.

815

:

Feel free to run and like in the

least cheesy way, spend your life

816

:

like running the race, right?

817

:

That St.

818

:

Paul talks about running the race set

before you in freedom so that you can

819

:

inspire other women to do the same.

820

:

To be like, man, she's so free.

821

:

She's so at rest, she's so at peace.

822

:

I wanna be just like that.

823

:

Like you talked about in the

beginning of our time here together,

824

:

it's a ripple effect that the

enemy doesn't want women to have.

825

:

So when women live in freedom,

they give other women permission

826

:

to do the same and it's.

827

:

So powerful.

828

:

God made you to be free.

829

:

That stone rolled away.

830

:

Jesus came out and you were free.

831

:

And boy, oh boy, if we could live

more like that's true every day the

832

:

world would be such a different place.

833

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Mm.

834

:

Amen.

835

:

I mean, I know that in my own life

that when I finally like lived in

836

:

the Lord's way, and way I described

finding this freedom was that

837

:

he, he allowed me to experience

the most Maori version of myself.

838

:

Like for the first time I was like, I.

839

:

Know exactly who I am and I feel so

free to be fully myself in every way.

840

:

Um, so that is something I

want for all women as well.

841

:

What a beautiful message.

842

:

Thank you.

843

:

for spending time with us this morning

and for writing this book that we

844

:

know are gonna bless so many people.

845

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Thank you.

846

:

It's such a gift.

847

:

Yeah.

848

:

If your readers want to walk alongside

me in the audio book, like I said,

849

:

I read the whole thing out loud.

850

:

If you're an audio.

851

:

Audiobook listener, you can do that.

852

:

And then there's a group discussion guide.

853

:

I wanna bring women together with this

so we can like talk about these things.

854

:

Women can talk about the lies

they specifically believe.

855

:

So that group discussion guide

you can find on my website,

856

:

Emily Wilson ministries.com.

857

:

It's totally free and it

goes alongside the books so.

858

:

If you're doing a book study or a book

club or you just wanna read with your

859

:

best friend, just, you know, get the

book, use those questions, and oh my

860

:

gosh, you're gonna be, I hear from

women, they're like, um, we talked

861

:

until three o'clock in the morning.

862

:

I'm like, amazing.

863

:

All the better.

864

:

Life is short.

865

:

Let's chat about real stuff, you know?

866

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

That is so good.

867

:

Okay.

868

:

So they can find the book in the

discussion guide on your website.

869

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes, you can

find the book on Amazon, Barnes and Noble.

870

:

Wherever books are sold, you can get

Sincerely Stone Heartd on Amazon.

871

:

You'll have the audio book.

872

:

Um, and then yes, the discussion

guide is free on my website,

873

:

Emily Wilson ministries.com.

874

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: We'll

make sure to link that in the show

875

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Thank you.

876

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

if they wanna hear more from you.

877

:

where can they find you?

878

:

emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:

Yeah, I have a YouTube channel.

879

:

You can also find me on Instagram

sharing about life and its obstacles at

880

:

MWI Ls S, and hopefully in your nearest

church, if you ever run into me say hi.

881

:

I love, love.

882

:

My ministry is for women.

883

:

So many women come to me and they're

like, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.

884

:

I'm like, you are not bothering me.

885

:

I do this for you.

886

:

My heart is horrible.

887

:

Yes.

888

:

I love, love, love meeting you.

889

:

So if you ever see me out

and about, I would love to

890

:

give you a hug and say hello.

891

:

Thank you, Mari, for having

me on, for sharing your heart

892

:

today in our discussion.

893

:

I'm so grateful for everything that

you're doing for women and for the church.

894

:

mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:

Oh, thanks.

895

:

Um, awesome.

896

:

Well, we'll catch you guys next Wednesday.

897

:

Bye.

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About the Podcast

Ever Be
A faith and lifestyle podcast.
The Ever Be Podcast is a faith and lifestyle podcast filled with meaningful conversations and practical tips that will inspire and empower you to live a Christ centered life in today’s modern world. Through her own experience of surrendering completely to God and finding true fullness of life, your host Mari Wagner, has committed to having God’s praise “ever be” on her lips and sharing that message with the world. Listen in for insightful, real life conversations and actionable steps on how to claim the full life God created you for.

With over 100K followers and counting, Instagram content creator and founder of the popular Catholic lifestyle brand, West Coast Catholic, Mari Wagner is showing the world how to live a bold, attractive, and fulfilling Catholic life by being in the world but not of it. On the podcast you’ll get a combination of heartfelt solo episodes with Mari, interviews with exciting guests, and up-close and personal time with both the Wagner’s—Mari and Trey. What more could you ask for?!

Finally! Answers to questions you’ve been asking like:
How do I infuse prayer into my daily life? How do I live out my Catholic faith? What is the best dating and marriage advice? What does a good Catholic marriage look like? How do I grow in homemaking skills and build a domestic church? How do I create a beautiful and welcoming home? What does a healthy and balanced lifestyle look like? Is it possible to find a solid community of like minded women?

Host Mari Wagner covers topics that you actually care about from faith life, to relationships and marriage, to homemaking, to healthy living. Each episode is crafted to resonate with your challenges and aspirations as a modern Christian woman seeking purpose, balance, and joy.

Tune into the Ever Be Podcast for valuable advice, relatable stories, expert insights and just some fun girl chats with someone who really gets you. Hit play to get out of the rut you constantly feel yourself in, and subscribe to join the community and experience the fullness of life Jesus has in store for you.

About your host

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Mari Wagner