63: Exactly How Satan is Attacking Women in Today's Culture | Emily Wilson
Mari Wagner welcomes guest Emily Wilson on the podcast to discuss her new book, 'Sincerely, Stoneheart.' Emily shares her journey of walking alongside women in ministry, the inspiration behind her book, and the importance of recognizing and combating the lies women believe about themselves. Together, they dive into the themes of identity, belovedness, and the spiritual battle women face. Whether through silence, prayer, or community, Emily offers practical advice for living in the freedom God intends. Perfect for women seeking to deepen their faith and embrace their true identity as beloved daughters of God.
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Transcript
Hey, I am your host, Mari Wagner,
and you're listening to The Ever Be
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:Podcast where Faith Meets Lifestyle.
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:I'm so excited you're here.
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:Whether you're a new listener
or a longtime follower, I know
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:there's something here for you.
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:Pull up a chair and listen in for
insightful, real life conversations and
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:actionable steps on how to claim the.
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:Full life God created you for.
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:If you're a woman desiring to live
a Christ-centered life in today's
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:modern world, then this is for you.
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:Welcome to ever be.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Welcome back to Ever Be Everybody.
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:Today we have a friend Emily
Wilson on the podcast today.
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:I'm sure a lot of you know who
she is and love her just as I do.
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:So we're so excited to
have you today, Emily.
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:Welcome.
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:
Thank you so much.
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:It's great to talk with all of
you out there, wherever you're
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:listening, all over the world.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Can you tell us a little bit about
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:who you are and what you do, even
though I'm sure a lot of my listeners
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:probably already know you in some form.
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah, it's a
joy to be able to walk alongside women.
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:So for many years, um, I've been in
ministry with women, started as a high
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:school teacher at an all girls school,
and the last 14 years has just been
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:walking alongside women in ministry.
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:I.
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:The greatest joy of my life is
listening to women and having
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:women share their stories with me.
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:So I'm a wife, I'm a mother to three
little ones here in California.
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:I was raised in Los Angeles.
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:My husband is from the Netherlands.
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:We dated long distance.
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:Shout out to all you long distance Gs
and guy sat there if you're listening.
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:Um, and it's just my joy to love
the Lord and share that love of the
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:Lord in hopes that other people.
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:Well, you know, just come to
know how much he loves them.
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:That's the, the joy of
my heart and my life.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Yeah, I feel like you just, you
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:know the feminine heart really
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: the
Lord has given you grace to speak
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:into the feminine heart in a really.
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:Gentle and loving, but also firm way.
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:Like you're that big sister that's
like, you need to know the truth.
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:And I'm gonna tell you the
truth 'cause you deserve it.
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:And so we all need that and I'm really
excited for our conversation today.
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:'cause it's all about
the theme of your new
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Ste.
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:Sincerely, stone Heart, it's written in
the theme of the screw tape letters where.
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:is writing to his little
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
about how to attack and destroy women.
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:How lovely.
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes.
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:Right.
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:It is lovely.
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:It's very intense.
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:But as you know, as we know, um, there's
a spiritual reality happening in our
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:lives today, and the devil wants to
discourage us, steal, kill, and destroy.
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:He wants that for all of us.
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:And so that's where, um, you know,
my heart was born out of this book in
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:seeing women over these 14 years and
them sharing their hearts with me.
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:Just dumping their hearts out on
retreats and at events and all over
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:the place, um, about the ways the enemy
wants to, and, and does try to steal,
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:kill, and destroy our hearts as women.
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:So thanks for reading the book.
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:I'm so grateful to be
here to talk about it.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Yeah, totally.
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:Let's just dive in.
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:What inspired you to write sincerely,
stone Heartd, and specifically in
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:that format that it is written,
the Demon to Demon Letters format.
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:How did writing it in that
perspective, like how did that reveal
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:more to you about the spiritual
battle that we're facing as women
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:
Yeah, absolutely.
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:So the, the thing about the screw
tape letters, you don't have to have
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:read the screw tape letters in order
to read sincerely stone heartd.
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:It's just the premise.
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:And I walk you through the
premise and the introduction.
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:The, the screw tape letters really
changed the way people see in the
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:sense of when CS Lewis wrote that,
people read it and they thought.
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:I have never thought about it this way.
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:I have never thought about the, the very
detail oriented nature of the way that the
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:devil is trying to pull me away from God.
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:So for many dozens of years, people have
been been writing what I would call screw
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:tape, sequels their own take on this
premise, out of their own lens, out of
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:their own faith, out of their own life.
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:And mine specifically was
these 14 years of seeing.
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:How discouraged women are, how fearful
women are, how sorrowful women are.
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:We're so beautiful, made in the image and
likeness of God and I've, I've walked with
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:thousands of women for all these years
looking at their faces, thinking, oh my
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:gosh, I wish you knew how loved you are.
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:Why?
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:Like, how are women so discouraged?
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:In the pandemic.
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:I was sitting at home a lot.
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:I was pregnant with my second son.
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:Um, and I really got to thinking it.
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:It really was born outta that.
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:I really got to thinking,
what is this all about?
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:Like, why, and I knew, but when I
started to unpack it this way, I thought,
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:man, what if I just, you know, started
writing down the lies that I've heard
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:women believe for all these years.
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:So I started writing them down.
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:All these papers all over the place.
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:Um, and it just came to be and I thought,
man, I should just, just try my hand
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:at writing it like that to see if that
lights something up in my own heart.
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:Um, and, you know, and maybe reveals
something for women about the truth.
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:So I started writing and writing
and writing and it changed.
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:My whole life seeing it in this way, I,
I have, I have never seen things more
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:clearly ever in my whole entire life
about the ways the devil hates us and
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:wants us to live in fear and sorrow.
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:And I hope that comes across in the
book for women like you who read
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:it, who think, oh my goodness, I
have never even thought about this.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Yeah.
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:And I think when you read it, a lot is
revealed and it makes sense because women
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:are the crown of creation, the heart
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: home.
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:And if the evil one can destroy
her and her identity and bring her
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:down, I mean, there's such a ripple
effect that happens from that.
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:Like the family is destroyed,
like, you know what I mean?
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:Like
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes,
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
is destroyed from that.
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:So, um.
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:Yeah.
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:So much is revealed and so important
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: yes.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: from
that book, what do you feel like some of
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:the most common or subtle lies are that
the enemy is speaking to women today?
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Hmm,
that's a really good question.
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:Um, I think the, one of the big ones
and social media comes to play, you
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:know, and a big part in this is.
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:That other women have so much more of a
purpose than you and that you like all
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:of these women, they were made to shine.
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:They were made to, you know, make big
waves in the world and you are useless and
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:dumb and have nothing to offer the world.
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:I have heard this from
so many women who think.
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:God gave me nothing to
share with the world.
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:I don't have any gifts.
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:Like look at all these other women
and they're just so sorrowful and
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:they feel so broken about that.
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:And life isn't about being like, oh, I'm
so great and God gave me so many gifts.
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:It's good when we recognize what our
gifts are and we can say those out loud.
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:This is a charism, right,
or a gift God has given me.
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:But the enemy wants women to believe
I have nothing to offer the world
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:because women were each of us.
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:A sister named Sister Faustina.
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:She said it on a retreat once.
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:She said, you reflect
a piece of God's glory.
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:No one else ever will.
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:And the Lord wants us to live like that.
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:And the enemy wants us to say, I have
nothing to offer the world, because
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:what we have to offer, the world
is God's glory alive inside of us.
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:And if the enemy can silence that, or
dampen that, or destroy that altogether,
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:what an accomplishment for him.
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:What an accomplishment for him.
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:So I feel like that is one of the
subtleties of women thinking, man, oh man.
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:Everybody else has something to share.
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:Not like share like we do online, but
just like share in your life and your
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:family in the world, and I've got
nothing so that you don't share the
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:glory God gave you with the world.
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:Do you feel like, what do you feel
like is the most subtle lie in your
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:ministry with women that you see
women believing and maybe living
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:from a place of in their hearts and
in their choices and in their lives?
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Yeah, honestly that they're not
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:enough and I think that that just, I
mean, relates to what you're saying.
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:'cause You know, as women, like I.
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:We fall into comparison so often.
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:So if we do see, you know,
other women like that, we think,
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:wow, they have all these gifts,
they're doing all these things.
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:And look at me here.
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:You know, you fall into the,
well, maybe I'm just not enough.
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:Maybe I'm just not good enough.
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:Um, and I think another light too
is like I, that they can't hear God
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Good one.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
This, uh, beautiful ministry that
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:we get to experience at Seek online
through, um, incredible women that we
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:look up to in our spiritual journey.
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:It's easy to look at them
and be like they hear God.
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:have all these insightful things to say.
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:They have, you know, all these
beautiful truths that God has revealed
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:to them to speak to other women.
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:And here I am, you know, as the listener,
like, what do, how do I hear God?
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:I don't hear God.
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:He might not be with me.
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Um,
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
And we know, and we know that that's
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:not true, and we know that the Lord
speaks to all of us in such different
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: yeah.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
reaches us in such different ways
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:and uses different people to.
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:Carry out his plan of salvation
in, in different ways.
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:Like we all make up the body of Christ and
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
there's that thing, right?
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:Like the body needs both the
hand and the feet and the head.
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:We need all the parts and
they don't look alike.
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:They don't all have the same mission,
but without one, the body's incomplete.
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Absolutely.
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:That's a big one.
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:And I talk about that a lot in the book.
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:And one of the biggest reasons why we
think we can't hear God is because we
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:have noise in our lives all the time.
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:And I know your listeners out there, you
are listening to this, and I pray that
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:it edifies you and it encourages you and
it supports you on your faith journey.
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:But so often in our lives we have
needless noise, noise that we do not need.
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:Noise that does not edify us.
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:Noise that does not support, um,
positivity in our lives and encouragement.
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:In the book, I talk about that lie, and
it was so mind boggling for me because
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:I've been in that place, like you say
of I can't hear God, how do I hear him?
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:Yet my life is filled with noise.
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:And I say this line in the book, when
most of the noise is silent, she won't
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:realize how truly deafening it is.
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:Because how often are we
watching reels, right?
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:With no sound on?
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:How often are we like just like
reading articles, reading news,
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:reading all these things, and ingesting
all this noise just with our eyes.
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:We're looking at all these videos and
we're looking at all these things.
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:I.
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:No wonder we think we can't hear God.
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:All of this stuff is cluttering our minds.
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:So the lie that I can't hear God,
if that's something you believe
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:out there, that Mari has, you know,
talked about here, ask yourself.
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:What am I doing to change that?
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:If anything?
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:What am I doing to try to hear God more?
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:Am I even spending time in silence?
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:Am I even going to the adoration
chapel just to sit with the
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:Lord for 15 minutes straight?
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:Not to look at anything, not to
think about anything, but just to be.
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:See what happens.
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:You know those lies when
we say, I believe this lie.
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:Okay, what are you doing about it?
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:How are you fighting back against it?
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:That lie is so prevalent, and I think it's
such a good one to identify for women.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Yeah, and
you, you mentioned that too, about how the
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:enemy just wants women to be distracted,
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: confused,
like bombarded and I mean, everything you
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:said, I think we all can relate to that.
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:And it's crazy to think that what
seems like should be a simple solution.
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:Silence.
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:Right?
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:Do nothing.
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:Consume nothing.
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:Hear, not just sit in the presence of
God is actually such a challenge and even
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:like terrifying for some people to face.
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:Because once we actually, I mean
I've experienced it in my own life,
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:when we actually leave room for
silence in a space where we feel.
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:Like we are believing lies.
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:Like what are we gonna hear?
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:What's gonna come up?
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:What is gonna be revealed in our
hearts that we're gonna have to face?
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:That's a lot harder than being like,
Yeah, something doesn't feel good,
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:but I'm just gonna like, numb it out
with a doom scroll or binge watch or
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:live through someone else vicariously
because I'm trying to ignore everything
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:going on, um, in my own life.
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:So.
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:From your advice, you know, and your
heart that you see and love women
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:with, how can we practically guard
against that in our everyday lives?
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: so in my
house we call it peace and quiet.
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:I, it's one of my main priorities.
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:I have a couple of really strong,
main priorities with my children, and
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:I know some of your listeners are.
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:Mothers and some of them are not.
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:But in with my own children,
I prioritize peace and quiet.
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:And I give them, I typically give them
the option, like if we're driving in
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:the car, um, I'll say, do you want some
music or do you want peace and quiet?
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:And so many times they say,
I want peace and quiet.
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:Both of them.
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:My boys are six four.
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:And at home if someone is, you know,
wants to listen to music or whatever,
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:and the other one says, I really
want peace and quiet right now.
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:That person takes precedence.
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:We are like, peace and quiet
is the most, one of the most
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:important things in our house.
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:So if someone's heart desires that they
trump everything, they trump everybody
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:who wants to listen to music or anything
like that because it's so important.
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:So that's my question for women.
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:And there's, you know, a lot of.
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:Ways that people do this.
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:Like Edith Stein says, the first
hour of your morning belongs to God.
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:Right.
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:And to, to center everything there.
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:And before I had children, I could do
that, which was such a beautiful thing to
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:give the first hour of my morning to God.
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:I give it in a different way now
by making cereal and cutting fruit
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:and all those things, but in the
peace and quiet way, you know?
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:And so my question, you know.
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:For women would be, how are you
prioritizing peace and quiet in your life?
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:And are you, are you
prioritizing it at all?
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:And yes, like Mari said, it's, it,
it, you know, uncomfortable feelings
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:come up and things you don't want to
think about come up in that peace and
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:quiet when those things come up, give
it to the Lord right away, Lord Jesus,
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:I didn't even wanna think about this.
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:And right now I'm gonna give it to you.
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:Instead of scrolling or eating or
watching or whatever it is, Lord
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:Jesus, when these things come up,
make a very specific pointed effort.
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:When uncomfortable things come up,
memories, whatever it is, it could be
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:so many things, hand it over to him.
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:Say, Jesus, I don't
wanna think about this.
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:I'm going to give it to you.
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:Right?
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:And let him, if you're continuing
to think about it, let him be there
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:as you think about these things
and face these things in your life.
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:Does that make sense?
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Yeah, I love that piece of advice.
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:I love the immediacy of it.
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:Like as soon as we recognize that, or
a memory or a, a feeling that is not of
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
like comes up, give that to the
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:Lord instead of letting it linger.
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:'cause that's what the evil wants to
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: let it
linger, let it fester, let it take root.
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:And the more you think about it, the
more you're like, maybe this is true.
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:Maybe this is who I am.
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:So that immediacy of like, oh,
that's, that's not the Lord's voice.
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:I'm gonna give it back.
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:I'm gonna give it
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
That's gotta be.
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes.
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:Immediacy immediately.
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:And that's, you know, the whole premise of
the book is wanting to fight back against
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:the, the lies of the enemy immediately.
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:Right?
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:And the lies of the enemy aren't
always like memories that come up or
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:things that we're struggling with.
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:That's not always the case, but that
immediacy of always going to the Lord.
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:Everything in everything my,
all my instant response, right?
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:That's what the saints
showed us so beautifully.
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:And I think that the Saints
had this internal position
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:of, in all things, right?
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:Really believing that scripture
Apart from him, I can do nothing.
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:Um, really just being there in that
instantaneous, give everything to
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:Jesus, invite Jesus into everything.
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:Woo.
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:That'll change your life.
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
That will change your life.
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:I think some listeners may be hearing
this section right now and just kind
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:of wonder like, okay, I don't even
know how to identify that though.
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:Like, I don't even know.
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:I can't do the immediate, you know, gift
back to the Lord if I can't identify that.
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:So how do we begin to recognize the voice
of the enemy versus the voice of God?
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:The voice of the Holy Spirit.
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:
That's a great question.
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:Well, I highly recommend reading
sincerely, stone Heartd, because when
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:I wrote it in the way that the devil
speaks to me and speaks to other
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:women, oh man, I know so clearly.
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:Now, when that voice comes in,
right, and I'm whatever, putting
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:the baby to bed at night, and that
voice that's so cutting and so awful
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:says like, you're a horrible mother.
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:You're a horrible mother.
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:You know?
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:I get tears in my eyes singing about
it, thinking about just all the
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:lies that women believe in, that
cutting voice that follows us all.
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:Writing it out, right, and
speaking it in the audio book
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:was a whole different thing.
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:Speaking as the way the
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:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: I bet.
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:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: devil
has spoken to women, like saying
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:it all out loud was really insane.
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:But when I wrote this and.
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:You know, the process of that, it's
like, oh, when that voice comes
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:in, I'm like, I know that voice.
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:It's not the voice of the Lord.
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:Because, you know, you might have
seen these graphs online that say
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:like, the voice of God is gentle and
loving and kind and good, and the
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:voice of the enemy is cutting and it's
pressure filled, and it's, you know,
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:it, it makes me feel anxiety, right.
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:That that's great.
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:Those graphs are great, but until I can
recognize that in my own heart to say.
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:This voice that tells me I'm a bad
mother, or this voice that tells me I'm
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:a failure, or this voice that I tell
tells me I'm messing up everything.
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:It's cutting and it's ugly and it's
awful, and that's never the voice of God.
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:So I'm so much better able to
identify in those moments, right?
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:When I hear those lies, I'm like, oh,
this is not the voice of my father.
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:Get behind me.
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:Satan.
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:I'm so much more inclined to know,
like, oh, I know who this is.
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:Like, it's not even a question anymore.
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:After doing this, and that's what I
hope for women, is that as they see how
387
:cutting and awful conniving and subtle
the voice of the enemy is, when that
388
:voice comes up, they say, I know the
voice of my father, and this isn't it.
389
:This isn't it.
390
:I'm not gonna listen.
391
:I'm not gonna give into your games.
392
:I'm not going to bow to the
ways that you're trying to
393
:steal, kill and destroy me.
394
:Get outta here.
395
:And then you proceed with
life and love and joy, and the
396
:hope that God wants for you.
397
:It's, you know, and not to make it
sound easier than it is, but is this
398
:process of like, Lord, help me to
identify this voice so I can live in the
399
:freedom that you made me for, you know.
400
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Yeah, and
I think the word cutting is so precise.
401
:Like when you said that, I
was like, that's how it feels.
402
:And I think it does take listening
to conversations like this, reading
403
:the book, just kind of being faced
with the reality to recognize that.
404
:'cause sometimes it can be, at least in my
experience, so disguised in my own voice.
405
:Where it's like this negative
self-talk of you, like, oh,
406
:you didn't do that very well.
407
:Oh, you definitely aren't
good enough at this.
408
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
409
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
should have tried harder, X, Y, Z.
410
:You know?
411
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.
412
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
not being a good wife, you're not
413
:being a good daughter about all these
414
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
415
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: And
it sounds like yourself, and it sounds
416
:like I'm just trying to be better.
417
:And it's funny because there are
times when, well, two things.
418
:One, I've come to notice, as you said,
that word cutting, that's what it
419
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
420
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
like a pie.
421
:like a bad piercing.
422
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.
423
:Mm-hmm.
424
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: That
feels so uncomfortable and that hurt me.
425
:And then too, I think, a, a gift of
marriage too is as you begin to get
426
:to know your spouse, they begin to
get to, they begin to know what that
427
:voice looks like for you as well.
428
:And so there's been several moments
in the past, I mean, few months even
429
:where I've been saying things out
loud to Trey and he's been like.
430
:Stop that is not the voice of God.
431
:And you know, he has to be firm
sometime and be like, that is not true.
432
:Like, we are not going to say that again.
433
:We're not going to believe that.
434
:And times when I've even asked him,
I'm like, can you just pray for me?
435
:Because I like that seems true to
436
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
437
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
And when he's able to kind of say
438
:that to me and pray for me in those
moments, that brings me outta that
439
:even more to recognize that those.
440
:Words were lies.
441
:He reminds me of my truth, which
always brings me back to my identity.
442
:And that's something that you
talk about a lot as well, is how
443
:as women, we're God's beloved.
444
:That's our truest identity.
445
:And I think in the Catholic world,
this term of God's beloved or
446
:daughter or daughter can be so
light sometimes 'cause we hear it.
447
:So often it's like, what does
it mean to be a daughter?
448
:Does it just mean to like wear a
pretty dress and just like, you
449
:know, like love our femininity?
450
:But I feel like it's so
much fiercer than that.
451
:can you share some practical ways that we
can root our identity in that truth every
452
:single day and be reminded about that
every day, even when we don't feel like
453
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah, so
the exploration of identity as beloved
454
:in the book started in the chapter.
455
:Looking at the keys, I think
it's letter three, and the Lord
456
:gave me this insane analogy.
457
:Um, I.
458
:You know, many of you out there
might have identified with this,
459
:um, you lose your car keys, right?
460
:And you're going to an appointment,
you're going somewhere,
461
:you're going to this thing.
462
:You gotta get to this party, and
you cannot find your car keys.
463
:And has this happened to you ever?
464
:Mari?
465
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: The,
the day I read that chapter, Emily,
466
:I ran late because I lost my car keys
and I was like, oh my gosh, Emily.
467
:It's like you're here.
468
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Totally.
469
:So women listening out there, you
are looking for your car keys and
470
:you're frantic, and you're looking
around everywhere and you're
471
:looking in your pockets, right?
472
:As a mom, I'm taking the kids to the park.
473
:You know, it's winter time,
you have your jackets.
474
:You're like, oh my gosh,
are they in a pocket?
475
:Are they in the diaper bag?
476
:Are they in.
477
:Wherever they are.
478
:And you're frantically looking
around everywhere thinking, oh my
479
:gosh, I'm gonna miss a meeting.
480
:Oh my gosh, this is, this is horrible.
481
:This is how the enemy wants us
looking for our, our identity.
482
:This is how he wants us to be
frantically searching high and
483
:low in every pocket in everything.
484
:All of those things being analogies
for where we look for identity in our
485
:appearances, in our accomplishments,
in, um, you know, the life, the
486
:life milestones we've achieved.
487
:Right.
488
:All of these different places.
489
:The enemy wants us in this frantic,
frenzied, anxious, stressful search
490
:for identity, our identity as beloved.
491
:And I'll spoil it.
492
:'cause there's a lot of letters
if you choose to read it.
493
:I say in that letter.
494
:The letters were in her back
pocket the whole time, right?
495
:And if you're a person who wears
glasses, you know, you're like
496
:looking at everywhere for your glasses
497
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: were
498
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: and
your glasses are on your head and
499
:you're like, oh my gosh, I'm such
a dumb, dumb all along, or this
500
:thing that you're looking for.
501
:It was in the most obvious place.
502
:We all know that feeling.
503
:That is our identity as beloved.
504
:It is in your back pocket.
505
:I could sob my eyes out thinking
about how much I want women to
506
:believe this, like you said.
507
:It can become a light saying
like, oh, I'm a daughter of God.
508
:Like, you know, like talks we used
to hear when we were teenage girls,
509
:like, you're a princess, like wave
your W high and all the girls who you
510
:know who like hate, that's like barf.
511
:I don't identify with this at all,
and it becomes this cheesy thing,
512
:but man, it is the least cheesy
thing in history is our belonging
513
:to the Lord is our belonging in his.
514
:Family is in the reality that we
are beloved and we don't have to
515
:look a certain way to earn that.
516
:We don't have to achieve a
life milestone to earn that.
517
:We don't have to do all the
right things to, for God to
518
:say, yes, now you've earned it.
519
:Now you've done enough.
520
:Now you've, you've done, you've done well.
521
:It's not, that's not the
way that it is in our life.
522
:We've so been conditioned to earn things.
523
:I talk in the book about
report cards, right?
524
:And you have to get the right
grades and do the right things.
525
:The Lord's like you don't
stop looking, stop being
526
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Um,
527
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: so
frantic, stop being so frenzied.
528
:Would you just rest?
529
:Right?
530
:The loving voice of the Lord, right?
531
:That 'cause convicts me sometimes
and says, would you just rest in it?
532
:Would you just slow down and believe?
533
:That the keys are here, like I'm here.
534
:Your belovedness cannot be
changed, cannot be stripped away.
535
:And so for women really to start their
believing, not in a cheesy way, it's
536
:it, it's, it's already within me.
537
:I am already beloved.
538
:It's not something I'm gonna find.
539
:It's not something that I'm gonna earn.
540
:It's something God has given me to
ask the Lord to help you embrace.
541
:That will change everything.
542
:At least it did for me.
543
:I don't know if you can
speak to that yourself.
544
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Oh, absolutely.
545
:And I think the thing that helps me as I
get older is going back to like a young
546
:version of myself, a like little, little
mari like baby Mari, because I grow older.
547
:You know the Lord has, we
talked about gifts earlier.
548
:Sometimes you recognize like, wow,
look at all the gifts God's given me.
549
:I can do it myself.
550
:And you think that like you,
you're, you become self-reliant.
551
:You're like, I can do so much.
552
:I can do it myself, and we only go
to God and we really need something.
553
:But what has really helped me go back to
my daughter, my belovedness, and my need
554
:for my father, and how my worth comes
from my father, not in what I can do or.
555
:Or provide or perform going
back to this like baby Mari self
556
:because she needs her dad so much.
557
:And the image I have in my brain
is this picture that my mom took of
558
:me and my dad when I was a newborn.
559
:It's one of my favorite
photos I have of my childhood.
560
:My dad is lying in bed and I'm
literally just a few days old, like
561
:curled up on his chest and he's
kissing my head and I'm just like.
562
:That's daughter like curled up on
your father's chest knowing you don't
563
:have anywhere to go, but to be there
and receive he's providing for you.
564
:The safety, the love, the
providence, like oh, the grace that
565
:God is always bestowing upon us.
566
:And he is just saying
like, you just need me.
567
:You just need to be here with me and
like I am giving you your daughter,
568
:your worth, your belovedness, and
you don't need to find it anywhere
569
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
570
:I love that.
571
:And I think sometimes it can be hard
to believe in that belovedness for
572
:women whose fathers were awful and
whose fathers, you know, were really
573
:absent, non-existent, their fathers
who were cutting voices in their lives.
574
:And to those women who think
like, man, it's so hard for
575
:me to accept that identity as
beloved because I have no idea.
576
:What the love of a good father looks like.
577
:Really simple prayers each and every day.
578
:Say, Lord, teach me what the
love of a good father looks like.
579
:Right?
580
:Show me your love.
581
:Heal my heart.
582
:Let me embrace, um, what true fatherhood
was supposed to look like from you Lord.
583
:And like, ask for that every single day
and let the Lord heal those places in your
584
:heart if you really struggle to believe.
585
:That the love of a father
can be good at all.
586
:He wants to heal that in your heart,
and he wants you, like Mari said,
587
:like he said, to be, you know, just
curled up in his chest to teach you
588
:what that feels like and what that
love that you should have received
589
:throughout your life is like from his
heart in that most, most pointedly
590
:in that peace and quiet with him.
591
:There's a quote that I love that
says There is a peace that can be
592
:found only in listening to the quiet
of God's love for you, and like the
593
:Lord's healing can come in that place.
594
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
I love how that includes the word
595
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
596
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: us back
597
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
598
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
silence that we need to
599
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Mm-hmm.
600
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Uh, I'm curious, Emily, was there a
601
:particular lie in the book that you
personally wrestled with as you were
602
:writing it, that you just felt like,
dang, this is cutting me to the heart.
603
:How did God walk you through it?
604
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes.
605
:That's a great question and I
might, um, throw that question
606
:back to you after this.
607
:After I say mine, the
heart will, there are so.
608
:In the beginning, the book was
a self portrait of the ways
609
:the enemy worked is on me.
610
:But as I started writing, it became
a portrait of all, it's like a memoir
611
:of everything I've ever heard women
share with me for the past 14 years.
612
:The one that is so closely related
to the biggest struggle that
613
:I have in my life is letter.
614
:41, it's called the empty theater.
615
:And in it, I talk about could have,
would've, should have, and how the enemy
616
:works on me and tries to steal, kill,
and destroy my peace every day by having
617
:me look at the past and all the ways
I've messed up and all the people I I've
618
:let down, and all the ways that I wish
things had gone differently or things
619
:that I wish I had done differently.
620
:And like that.
621
:Oh man, I cried so much writing that
letter because the enemy wants me just
622
:stuck in the past looking in the rear
view mirror of life thinking, man, oh
623
:man, I wish that had gone differently.
624
:I wish I made a different choice.
625
:Whatever it is, just stuck there.
626
:And how many women can identify with
that of being stuck in the past, right?
627
:You just can't let go of whatever it is.
628
:Your boyfriend, your memories,
your choices, whatever, and how
629
:the enemy just wants us there.
630
:Could have, would've, should have.
631
:You could have done this,
you should have done this.
632
:Things would've been so different.
633
:Have you had, had you gone this way?
634
:And I talk about how my life
has kind of felt in this way
635
:that the enemy works on me.
636
:Like I'm sitting in an empty theater and
across the screen, right, the movie of my
637
:life is playing and all of the things that
I regret or wish had gone differently.
638
:Play all the time.
639
:And the enemies, they're
like, you're so stupid.
640
:Like, oh my goodness,
look how you've messed up.
641
:Look at you.
642
:Let her down so much.
643
:You, you didn't do that.
644
:Like, look, you're such a failure.
645
:And it destroys me.
646
:And I think there are kind
of two sides to the coin.
647
:Women who struggle with living too
much in the past, and then women
648
:who worry constantly about the
future, the enemy's like, oh ahead.
649
:There's so many scary things.
650
:It's all gonna be awful.
651
:Right?
652
:And so I think, I really think there are
like two types of people in the world, um,
653
:who struggle with these different things.
654
:But for me.
655
:Man identifying that now when that voice
comes up, like you're so dumb, you should
656
:have done, you know that differently.
657
:I just say, get behind me, Satan.
658
:I ain't focused in on the past.
659
:I'm looking forward through the windshield
rather than the rear view mirror,
660
:and it's gonna change everything I.
661
:On the other side of the coin, what
would you say in the book was, or
662
:in your life even right now, if you
can share in vulnerability with your
663
:listeners the lie that you maybe have
believed, um, that was highlighted in
664
:the book or maybe not, um, a lie that
you struggle or you're wrestling with in
665
:your life in this season here and now.
666
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Yes, totally.
667
:I think for me it's just this underlying
lie of like you have to earn, God's love.
668
:And it's funny because with the formation
I've received throughout my life and
669
:as a missionary, like my head I know,
oh, I don't have to earn God's love.
670
:God loves me.
671
:But then.
672
:In the depths of my heart and that cutting
voice that comes in somehow, that's always
673
:how it's wrapped up to be like, oh, you
should have done better because then you
674
:know, God would've blessed you better.
675
:And it's kind of this connection between
like the, the better you perform,
676
:the better blessings God gives you.
677
:It's almost like he gives you
blessings according to how well you.
678
:Earned it.
679
:And that might come from being
the eldest daughter, being a
680
:perfectionist, being a high achiever.
681
:You know, it's all like intricately
like the Lord, not the Lord.
682
:I think the evil one even uses some
strengths that we have to break us down
683
:and to kind of distort how God approaches
us and views us, and that has, yeah, been
684
:something that I've been wrestling with.
685
:Tremendously the past three years
of as we've tried to start a
686
:family and to have faced struggles
we did not think we would face.
687
:And coming from, like, my story
with the Lord was like, we were
688
:always walking hand in hand.
689
:Like we always had the same plan and
like, you know, that was the college
690
:we wanted to go to and that's where
we went and that's the man we wanted
691
:to marry and that's who we married.
692
:And you know, this is the job we wanted.
693
:So that's what we got.
694
:And so it was like we're always
working hand in hand and I'm working
695
:for the Lord and he's blessing me.
696
:And then, you know, one day it was like
I was still working for the Lord, but
697
:then this like one prayer of like wanting
motherhood did not come to fruition
698
:and continued to not come to fruition.
699
:And all of a sudden I was like, am does
the Lord not trust me to be a mother?
700
:Like, am I not doing things good enough?
701
:You know, like, and I've, and
I've spent my life like serving
702
:the Lord and like glorifying him.
703
:So like.
704
:I don't, I deserve that.
705
:Like we would be great parents, Lord.
706
:You know, and it's, it's, it's funny,
I was with my, um, sister-in-law
707
:at the zoo over Mother's Day.
708
:we were seeing a ton of families, um,
you know, around with their children.
709
:And, and sometimes you look at
some that look a little like,
710
:interesting and you're like, Hmm.
711
:they're, and they, the Lord gave them
children, you know, like covered in
712
:tattoos and piercings, head to toe.
713
:And you just kind of wonder like,
where, what is the history here?
714
:And like, and, and the Lord deemed
them to be a mother, but not me.
715
:So it's easy to kind of fall into that.
716
:For me sometimes that's the lie
and I have to, um, have, yeah,
717
:that reframing of just like.
718
:The Lord is not conditional upon anything.
719
:His love is not conditional upon anything.
720
:He didn't bring you in into existence
because of how well he thought
721
:you would glorify him or how well
he thought you would serve him.
722
:'cause in fact, he knew you were human.
723
:He knew you would fall.
724
:And so if he thought you were going,
like he didn't bring you in 'cause
725
:he thought you were gonna be perfect.
726
:And so just always going back to
the Lord's love is unconditional.
727
:The Lord's love is always there and you
don't have to do anything to earn it.
728
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.
729
:I so appreciate your vulnerability
about this, your openness about this,
730
:because I think that there's a lot
of women, you know, and I know that
731
:you connect with them so beautifully,
silently, struggling with that or with
732
:unanswered prayers for the women out
there who wanna get married so badly
733
:and they think, man, what did I miss?
734
:What did I do wrong?
735
:Lord, I thought you loved me.
736
:When the Lord really, and we have
to go back to that very difficult.
737
:To embrace sometimes reality
that the Lord's love is not, it's
738
:in what he gives, but it is not
based on what he gives, right?
739
:Like when you look, um, at the Prodigal
son and he comes home, right in life
740
:and all the things that he went and
did and all that stuff, and I'm not
741
:comparing anybody who has desires
of their heart to the prodigal son.
742
:Understand what I'm saying?
743
:His desire, right, in all things was for.
744
:The father, right?
745
:He wanted to just come back and be with
the Father, and it's this beautiful
746
:thing that the Lord has shown me right
throughout the time of the prayers
747
:that I have prayed or whatever it is.
748
:That question of like, are you
running back home to me or are
749
:you just running to me in general?
750
:Maybe not as a pral son after being
with the pigs, but just running to me
751
:in general and as you run to me, are you
looking at me or are you looking over
752
:my shoulder at what you want me to give
you at what you hope is gonna be there?
753
:If you love me fully, if you give
of your heart fully, you know
754
:I hear like the, the lie that
drives me crazy for so many women.
755
:Like once you give your heart
to the Lord fully, that's when
756
:he'll bring the right man for you.
757
:Like that's when you'll meet him.
758
:And I'm like, it's not true.
759
:We want the Lord, love the Lord with
all our heart, mind, soul, and strength.
760
:It is not this, this, this bar that
you meet and then the Lord's like,
761
:yes, now I'm gonna send you this man.
762
:Now I will send you a child.
763
:Now I will do whatever it might be.
764
:These things are so hard to wrestle
with and I love your openness to sharing
765
:about, you know, just your journey
and loving the Lord and having this.
766
:Deep desire in your heart and
continuing to just glorify the Lord
767
:where he has you in the here and now.
768
:It's such a beautiful testament for women.
769
:Your light and your love, and your faith.
770
:So thank you for sharing that, even in the
midst of this struggle that you're facing
771
:in your life with your husband right now.
772
:Yeah.
773
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: totally.
774
:And I mean, something you said is
775
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: What I.
776
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
back to a lot is like, do I.
777
:love the Lord because of what he
gives or because of who He's, and
778
:it's been refining for me, and I
mean, I know that anybody who's gone
779
:through deep, deep suffering, while
it's a mystery and confusing many
780
:times, if the Lord allows you to see.
781
:Purpose in it.
782
:You almost are grateful for
783
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Uh.
784
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: You
almost are grateful for it because
785
:you realize, I mean, I've realized
like my relationship with God would
786
:not be what it is today, and I would
not have grown the ways that I have
787
:if I had not faced this challenge.
788
:Um, and so my trust is deepened and it is
beautiful and it's still hard, you know,
789
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.
790
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: hard.
791
:It still requires daily yes to
the Lord, daily reminders that
792
:his love is unconditional and
that I don't have to earn it.
793
:Um.
794
:But Yeah.
795
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yeah.
796
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: you
for, for recognizing that vulnerability.
797
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:
It's so powerful.
798
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: we wrap
up, Emily, if your readers would walk
799
:away with one truth from this book, what
would it be That you want them to know?
800
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: That God
made you to live in freedom and that's
801
:another thing that beco can become light.
802
:Like you could put that on a tote bag.
803
:God made you for freedom, but God like
actually deeply wants you so surrendered
804
:in the every day so surrendered to where
he's taking you, what he's doing, how,
805
:how he's moving, how he's loving, so
that you can like live in this freedom.
806
:From worry, from fear,
from this discouragement.
807
:It's like a burden on your back,
like you're carrying around
808
:a backpack full of bricks and
trying to get through every day.
809
:No wonder you're exhausted.
810
:No wonder you're, you
know, just so broken down.
811
:The Lord wants to like, take every
brick out of the, outta your back.
812
:You're a failure.
813
:You're all, all the, all these lies
that you believe day in and day out.
814
:He wants to take 'em all
off your back so you can.
815
:Feel free to run and like in the
least cheesy way, spend your life
816
:like running the race, right?
817
:That St.
818
:Paul talks about running the race set
before you in freedom so that you can
819
:inspire other women to do the same.
820
:To be like, man, she's so free.
821
:She's so at rest, she's so at peace.
822
:I wanna be just like that.
823
:Like you talked about in the
beginning of our time here together,
824
:it's a ripple effect that the
enemy doesn't want women to have.
825
:So when women live in freedom,
they give other women permission
826
:to do the same and it's.
827
:So powerful.
828
:God made you to be free.
829
:That stone rolled away.
830
:Jesus came out and you were free.
831
:And boy, oh boy, if we could live
more like that's true every day the
832
:world would be such a different place.
833
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: Mm.
834
:Amen.
835
:I mean, I know that in my own life
that when I finally like lived in
836
:the Lord's way, and way I described
finding this freedom was that
837
:he, he allowed me to experience
the most Maori version of myself.
838
:Like for the first time I was like, I.
839
:Know exactly who I am and I feel so
free to be fully myself in every way.
840
:Um, so that is something I
want for all women as well.
841
:What a beautiful message.
842
:Thank you.
843
:for spending time with us this morning
and for writing this book that we
844
:know are gonna bless so many people.
845
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Thank you.
846
:It's such a gift.
847
:Yeah.
848
:If your readers want to walk alongside
me in the audio book, like I said,
849
:I read the whole thing out loud.
850
:If you're an audio.
851
:Audiobook listener, you can do that.
852
:And then there's a group discussion guide.
853
:I wanna bring women together with this
so we can like talk about these things.
854
:Women can talk about the lies
they specifically believe.
855
:So that group discussion guide
you can find on my website,
856
:Emily Wilson ministries.com.
857
:It's totally free and it
goes alongside the books so.
858
:If you're doing a book study or a book
club or you just wanna read with your
859
:best friend, just, you know, get the
book, use those questions, and oh my
860
:gosh, you're gonna be, I hear from
women, they're like, um, we talked
861
:until three o'clock in the morning.
862
:I'm like, amazing.
863
:All the better.
864
:Life is short.
865
:Let's chat about real stuff, you know?
866
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
That is so good.
867
:Okay.
868
:So they can find the book in the
discussion guide on your website.
869
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Yes, you can
find the book on Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
870
:Wherever books are sold, you can get
Sincerely Stone Heartd on Amazon.
871
:You'll have the audio book.
872
:Um, and then yes, the discussion
guide is free on my website,
873
:Emily Wilson ministries.com.
874
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343: We'll
make sure to link that in the show
875
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843: Thank you.
876
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
if they wanna hear more from you.
877
:where can they find you?
878
:emily_1_05-30-2025_092843:
Yeah, I have a YouTube channel.
879
:You can also find me on Instagram
sharing about life and its obstacles at
880
:MWI Ls S, and hopefully in your nearest
church, if you ever run into me say hi.
881
:I love, love.
882
:My ministry is for women.
883
:So many women come to me and they're
like, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.
884
:I'm like, you are not bothering me.
885
:I do this for you.
886
:My heart is horrible.
887
:Yes.
888
:I love, love, love meeting you.
889
:So if you ever see me out
and about, I would love to
890
:give you a hug and say hello.
891
:Thank you, Mari, for having
me on, for sharing your heart
892
:today in our discussion.
893
:I'm so grateful for everything that
you're doing for women and for the church.
894
:mari-wagner_2_05-30-2025_103343:
Oh, thanks.
895
:Um, awesome.
896
:Well, we'll catch you guys next Wednesday.
897
:Bye.