64: You Don’t Have to Do It All: The Freedom of Slowing Down
Mari shares about feeling mentally and emotionally maxed out. Mari opens up about her struggles with juggling multiple responsibilities as an entrepreneur, business owner, and ambitious individual. She candidly discusses the importance of taking a break, especially from social media, to seek silence and reconnect with God. Mari offers listeners practical tips for building margin, creating pockets of silence, and embracing hobbies that bring joy. Through personal stories and biblical references, she reminds us of the significance of slowing down, trusting God, and abiding in His will. Tune in for an encouraging message on finding peace and rest in a hectic world.
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Follow Along:
Transcript
Hey, I am your host, Mari Wagner,
and you're listening to The Ever Be
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:Podcast where Faith Meets Lifestyle.
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:I'm so excited you're here.
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:Whether you're a new listener
or a longtime follower, I know
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:there's something here for you.
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:Pull up a chair and listen in for
insightful, real life conversations and
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:actionable steps on how to claim the.
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:Full life God created you for.
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:If you're a woman desiring to live
a Christ-centered life in today's
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:modern world, then this is for you.
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:Welcome to ever be.
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:Mari Wagner: Hi, friend.
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:Welcome back to Ever Be.
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:I'm so glad you're here.
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:As always, today's episode is coming
straight from a place that I have
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:found myself in recently, right
now, just completely like mentally
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:and emotionally maxed out and.
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:I'm just being honest with you,
and I'm sharing from a place of
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:just experience in my heart because
I know I'm not the only one.
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:And I know that whenever I do share
vulnerably and honestly, I know that
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:there's like this message reaches
the people that it needs to, and
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:the Lord works through all of it.
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:So yesterday I did a q and a
session and the first question
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:somebody asked me was, how are you?
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:And whenever everybody asked
me this lately, I'm like, good.
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:Overall like, well, I think,
you know, I'm doing well.
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:It's like I second guess my answer.
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:And the reality is like, I don't
feel like I'm not doing well.
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:You know, I just, honestly, I feel
like my brain just needs a break.
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:I feel like I'm mentally maxed out and
I feel like I am emotionally maxed out.
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:We have just gone through a lot
the last couple months that's
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:been emotionally stretching and.
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:This just health journey on top of daily
life as an entrepreneur, as a business
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:owner, managing a team, and also as an
ambitious human being who has so many
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:ideas and wants to execute on them.
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:AKA, we have like three house projects
going on right now, and it's just like too
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:much that we're doing at the same time.
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:And it's funny because in the past when
I have felt this way, I've kind of.
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:Traveling because we used to travel
like literally once a month, sometimes
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:twice a month, especially in the summer.
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:And this year we have toned
that down a little bit.
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:We did travel a little bit
in spring, but um, we're not
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:going anywhere, June and July.
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:And so I keep telling myself like,
don't add more to your plate.
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:'cause what I've seen myself do is we
stop traveling, but then I add projects.
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:I'm like, Ooh, great.
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:Now I get to do projects.
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:It's like, I just don't like
just sitting still and having
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:a quote, unquote, boring life.
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:Not that just having a normal day-to-day
life is boring, but I don't know.
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:I just have a creative brand
and it's always going, and I'm
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:always filling my time and.
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:I had an honest conversation with
some dear friends of mine recently,
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:and they were all like, Mari, we love
you and that's why we're asking you
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:to take a break from social media
and your work for a little bit.
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:I was like, what?
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:Like I don't need a break.
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:Like, no, you, you need to like be
away from screens for like a week.
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:And they were mostly talking about social
media, but I honestly feel like I could
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:use as much of a break from screens
as possible because I feel a little
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:bit like a water balloon that just.
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:Got emptied of its water.
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:Does that make sense?
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:Like it's just a little,
it's just a little like.
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:Ugh, this is hilarious.
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:I can only think of the word in Spanish.
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:That's the word in Spanish.
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:You know what I mean?
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:Like ringed out.
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:So I guess it wouldn't be a water
balloon, it would be more like a
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:dish towel that you're ringing out.
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:I feel a little wrung out.
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:Okay.
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:So that's just my honest how
I'm coming to this tea party you
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:and I are having here right now.
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:How are you?
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:I wish I could hear your response and
I wish I could hear how you are doing
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:all this to say in this episode today, I
want to speak to the woman who feels like
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:she's trying to be everything to everyone.
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:I.
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:The one who's trying to juggle all the
good things, because that's the reality
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:is everything going on right now in my
life is, I could argue a good thing.
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:You know, faith, marriage, friendships,
homemaking hosting, making dreams happen,
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:work, family time, all the things.
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:But still at the end of the day.
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:I more often than not feel like
I'm behind, feel like I didn't do
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:enough that day and wake up the next
day feeling like I just gotta get
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:everything done on my to-do list
today or else I can't be satisfied.
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:And that is not how the Lord
wants us to live you guys.
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:So.
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:If that's you, this episode is for you.
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:If you're hearing me describe this
right now and you're like, oh, that's
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:my best friend Kate, or Susie or Lucy,
call them and send this episode right
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:now and be like, look, this is for you.
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:You need to hear this right now.
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:Um.
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:So let's just dive in.
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:Over the last few weeks, basically
I've had what I can only describe as
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:this constant buzzing in my brain, and
I feel like it kind of starts in my
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:brain and goes out through my limbs.
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:Maybe it's called a
adrenaline, I don't know, but.
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:It's a combination, I think of
just too much going on in my head.
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:I think that I have definitely consuming
way too much on social media, but then
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:also I just feel like my brain's just
been in so many places, like I have.
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:So many thoughts and ideas and tabs
open in my head, and I think that
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:combined with consuming too much on
social media has kind of all left
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:me feeling scattered and exhausted.
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:And I think that in many ways, a lot of
the things in my head are good things.
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:Um, they're inspiring things,
they're exciting things.
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:They're also not all things God's calling
me to do right now, and I think that's
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:the realization that I am having that I
want you to have too, is that there might
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:be a lot of good things that are offered
to you or that are within your reach,
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:but is God calling you to all of them?
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:I don't know.
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:I often find myself like pressuring
myself to execute every idea immediately
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:while also juggling the steps of.
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:Everything.
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:We also have going on in our life
with our health journey appointments,
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:you know, our home projects, staying
present to family and friends.
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:So it's just been a lot.
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:And so I realized I need specifically
a brain break because it's.
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:It's interesting how like when you feel
mentally and, and emotionally exhausted,
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:it also kind of leads into you feeling
physically exhausted because your
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:brain's just like, please just stop.
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:You know what I mean?
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:So.
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:Due to my friends lovingly challenging
me, I decided that I need silence.
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:I'm going to silence the noise, not just
around me, but inside of me as well.
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:So I made a decision.
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:I am taking a week off social media.
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:I don't really know the last
time I actually did that.
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:I haven't given it up for
the last couple years.
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:So I really haven't had a lot of time off
of social media because even when I've
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:like taken a break from posting here or
there, um, I'm still consuming social
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:media, but I'm actually like fasting.
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:I'm stepping away from the scroll
and I'm stepping into the silence.
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:I'm stepping into prayer, and I'm
giving myself permission to let go.
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:And instead I'm going to do
things that fill my creative cup.
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:I'm gonna read, I.
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:I'm gonna paint.
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:I'm gonna explore this river trail by my
house that I keep thinking about going to.
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:I'm gonna go to the pool, I'm
gonna hang out with my family.
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:I'm going to play with my nieces
and nephews, and I am not going
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:to open my phone unless necessary.
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:I'm gonna slow down.
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:That's exactly what I'm gonna do
and I'm going to seek silence.
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:I think that overall is what
we crave deep down so much.
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:It's silence, and at the same
time we try to avoid it so much.
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:So I'm slowing down, seeking silence to
remember what I actually need at the heart
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:of it all, um, which is the Lord and his
grace to sustain me and to do his will.
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:And I'm also doing this to remind
myself that I don't have to do it all.
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:So literally starting today, I'm gonna
take a full week off of social media,
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:um, and we're gonna see what happens.
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:And I am excited to see what the
Lord does in my heart with more
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:intentional time for prayer.
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:I'm gonna try and craft like half
retreat, half creative retreat for myself.
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:Um, 'cause I just feel like.
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:When I lean into creativity, it also just
fills my cup so much and refreshes me.
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:And the Lord gave me beautiful gifts,
um, that I can also just use for my
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:own enjoyment, not just for my job.
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:Okay?
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:So if anybody else out there is like
me and they feel like they need to
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:like, use every gift and talent to
monetize in some way for their family.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Girl, you don't, you can just
paint because you want to.
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:So catch me painting a
damn painting this week.
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:I'll post about it next week.
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:So, so hold me accountable.
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:Wow.
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:I mean, it even just feels good to say
all this, and I hope that if this is
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:resonating with you, that you start
feeling that bug inside as well.
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:That kind of like need to step away
because I just feel like the world
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:tells us we have to do it all, and
even on social media, it makes it
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:seem like we have to do it all.
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:You know what I mean?
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:We have to do it all quickly and
beautifully and effortlessly, and
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:so here are a few lies I personally
have believed in the past few months.
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:I feel like that maybe you have to,
one, if I'm not constantly producing
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:or doing something productive, then I'm
falling behind or I'm failing, or if I
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:don't do it now, I'll miss my window.
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:Or if everybody else can seem to
keep up with their life, why can't I?
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:These are.
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:Underlying messages that I feel like
I've spoken to myself without even
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:realizing that are just not from God.
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:God never called us to
strive and struggle.
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:He called us to abide.
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:He called us to rest in him, and by
doing so, he reveals his will to us and
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:gives us the grace to live out his will.
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:In Psalm 46 10, it says, be
still and know that I am God.
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:I feel like I constantly
need a reminder of.
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:Who God is, and that might sound like
crazy or bad to say, but honestly I
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:constantly need to be reminded that God
is all powerful and he has got it all
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:together and he is not waiting for me
to do the heavy lifting or to figure
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:it all out or to do the work for him.
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:He is literally waiting
for me to be a daughter.
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:To rest in his arms and to follow his
will when he lays it out for me and
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:when he gives me the grace to do so.
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:Um, stillness isn't wasted time.
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:It's honestly sacred space.
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:Silence is sacred space.
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:It's where we get to hear God, and it's
where we get to encounter him and where
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:we get to get out of our own head.
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:And.
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:Be aligned with the Lord and
his heart and his will for us.
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:Um, Matthew 1128 through 30 says,
come to me all you who are weary and
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:burdened, and I will give you rest.
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:I feel like this is the good
Shepherd speaking to me right now.
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:He's like, you little lamb, you
little lamb just went too far.
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:Come back, I'm going to give you rest.
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:So let that be your invitation as well.
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:If you feel like you're
weary or tired or stressed.
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:Sometimes I feel like when I
feel that way, my instinct is to
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:do more, which is really weird.
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:It's to like make a to-do list
that includes absolutely every
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:single little itty bitty thing.
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:That could ever be included.
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:And once I check it off,
then I will feel at peace.
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:But no, actually Jesus just
says, stop where you are.
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:Do a 180.
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:Come towards me, let me give you rest.
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:So that's exactly what
I'm gonna do this week.
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:I am going into as much of a retreat
mode that I can without actually
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:stepping away and going on retreat,
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:because Jesus doesn't say, come to
me once you've figured it all out.
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:He says, come to me and I
will figure it out for you.
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:And he invites us just as we are.
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:So that's your invitation today.
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:And then the other thing that keeps coming
to mind too, right now as I am recording,
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:is the story of Martha and Mary.
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:Like Martha was doing the good things.
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:She was serving, she was hosting, she was
cooking, she was making sure everybody
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:was happy and all from a good place.
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:She was hustling right for Jesus,
which in the end is a great thing.
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:But Mary.
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:Mary was just sitting.
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:Mary was just listening,
just resting, just gazing.
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:Just taking Jesus in, taking his
presence in and just being filled
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:merely by His presence, by his gaze.
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:And Jesus said, Mary had
chosen the better part.
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:So here's the question
I've been asking myself.
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:Am I filling myself with things that
maybe Jesus never asked me to carry?
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:Am I missing out on the better part
of being so present to Jesus, to his
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:heart and to his will at his feet,
that I'm actually filling my life.
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:With to-dos that Jesus didn't ask me to
do, and I'm missing out on the opportunity
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:to be filled and refueled and refreshed
by him, just by sitting at his feet.
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:Because even good things can become heavy
if we're not carrying them with him.
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:And I was, uh, reading some quotes from
this book that I love, soul, the apostate.
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:Um.
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:One of 'em, I'm not going to be able
to say it exactly, but basically one
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:of them says that like, zeal in your
mission can only get you so far.
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:And even that like desire and that
zeal to do a bunch of good things in
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:your ministry could honestly be much
less effective if not cause harm.
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:If they're not actually God's will.
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:If you just did things out of.
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:A place of I should just do this
'cause it's good or I should
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:do more, or whatever it is.
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:And it's not actually from a place of
like, oh, the Lord called me to do this,
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:then it's actually less effective and I.
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:Because it wasn't the Lord's will
and he didn't call you to it.
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:And I, I think that we need to take that
with a grain of salt because I think
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:some of us, and you need to know yourself
too, and your personality could take
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:that too far and be like, oh my gosh, I
have to discern every single action I do.
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:And what if this is God's will and
what if this is not God's will?
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:Like it does not have to go that far.
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:Okay.
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:Like you can invite a friend over
for coffee without discerning if
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:that was God's particular will.
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:Okay.
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:So, you know what I mean?
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:But the premise of the whole book
was basically anything you do is
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:useless unless it is coming from
a place of being in line with the
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:Lord's well or being spiritually
filled specifically by his Eucharist.
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:So.
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:And that's just so important for me to
hear because I'm working in ministry.
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:It looks different than what
traditional ministry looks like, but
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:I'm working in ministry and I'm, I'm
pouring out and I will love doing it.
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:I love walking with you guys.
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:And being there for you in your spiritual
journey and as you get married and have a,
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:wanna have a Christ-centered marriage and
wanna build your domestic church and wanna
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:live your faith out, um, I love being, I.
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:By your side as much as I can,
virtually every step of the way,
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:and just pouring out everything
that the Lord is pouring into me.
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:But at the same time, the Lord desires to
pour into me as well without pouring out.
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:You know what I mean?
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:So that's what I'm excited for right
now, is I am gonna give myself a week.
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:I can honestly see myself loving this
and then making it like three weeks.
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:If that's what happens now, you know why
you haven't heard from me in three weeks?
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:Just kidding.
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:I probably won't disappear for three
weeks, but I'm definitely going
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:to take advantage of a full week.
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:Um.
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:Because honestly, I think for people
like me, like go-getters, busy bees,
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:people that just can't sit still
resting isn't just about relaxing.
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:It's honestly an act of trust.
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:It's honestly an act of trust
of saying like, Lord, I believe.
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:Lord, I trust that you're gonna provide.
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:Even when I pause, Lord, I trust that
you're still gonna move even when I'm
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:not producing and being productive.
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:And Lord, I trust that I don't have
to do it all because you already did.
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:When we slow down, we actually
give God room to move.
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:And in a culture that glorifies hustle,
I think your stillness becomes a radical.
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:Witness and I, I'm preaching to myself
so hard right now you guys, because
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:it literally took having this full on
conversation with a few of my friends.
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:Of them literally being like, listen,
you just need to hear this right now.
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:If it feels hard for you to step
away from social media, from your
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:work, from the busyness of life,
that's, you know, you need it.
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:And it took me being challenged by
friends that really love me to actually
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:choose to go through with this.
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:Um, so it is in a way an act of trust
so if you're feeling what I'm feeling,
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:I came up with a few just gentle things
that you can do this week and being
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:realistic, because I know that as somebody
that is a business owner and works for
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:herself, I have the freedom to an extent
to take a week off if I desire to do so,
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:but that's not the case for everybody.
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:So I want to share some practical
ways to slow down that you can
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:incorporate into your life whether
you are, uh, working full-time or are
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:a student, or are a mom, and have a
family and children to take care of.
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:And your time is not
just completely your own.
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:So.
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:I think first of all, it's about building
margin into your week and into your days.
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:I know that when I say yes to
everything, I get really strategic
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:with my schedule and try and pack it
all in and then it all gets done if
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:my schedule like works out perfectly.
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:But building margin into your day and
into your week, I think is what allows
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:for a little bit more peace in the day.
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:Um, so just a reminder, you don't
need to say yes to everything.
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:And when you're saying yes to
something, make sure you build
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:margin into your schedule.
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:So it's not everything.
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:So back to back, to back, to back.
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:Um, within that, I think create pockets
of silence that have no music, no
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:podcasts, just a few minutes of quiet.
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:Um, I have been loving in the past, not
like recently, but like past springs and
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:summers when I do breakfast on the patio,
and I You bet I'm gonna be doing that.
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:I'm starting that this week.
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:I just started it a couple days ago, so
we're just gonna keep that going, um,
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:early in the morning at like 7:00 AM
when the sun is still kind of like I.
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:Early in the sky, go out there and have
your cup of coffee or your breakfast
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:and just sit and take in the fresh air
and don't have any music or podcast
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:or even a devotional, just like sit in
some quiet and just be with the Lord.
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:Um, I feel like those moments
just bring so much peace.
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:Another thing I am gonna do is ask
God, what is mine to carry today, Lord?
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:And trust that that's.
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:Enough, right?
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:Like ask him like, what is mine
to carry today and what is yours?
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:And trust that whatever he says,
I don't think about this today.
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:Don't worry about how this
plan is gonna be figured out.
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:I am gonna take care of it.
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:Trust that he's gonna do that and let go.
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:Um, other things, like I
said, do something that.
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:You love to do like your hobbies
that you don't normally do to
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:fill your cup, and you don't have
to do it like every single day.
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:Like try and pick one day in the
next week if you can, where maybe
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:you journal or you paint or you bake
or you go for a trail walk or hike.
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:Something that you love to do that
you haven't made time for recently.
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:I feel like when you finally
give into those like activities
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:that are life giving, it's so.
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:Refreshing.
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:Um, now because I'm doing a a social
media cleanse, you can join me if you
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:want and do a week free of social media.
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:I know that I'm gonna find so
much more like air and space in my
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:day just by removing scroll time.
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:'cause those scroll times
sneak in throughout your day
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:without you even realizing it.
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:And then lastly, I would say.
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:Really lean into the Sabbath.
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:I think that this should be a
given for all of us, Christians
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:and Catholics, but unfortunately
our culture just really makes it.
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:Hard to realize like what
that actually looks like.
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:And so sometimes we think Sundays
are a day of rest, but we're
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:still doing a bunch of stuff.
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:We're still cleaning the house,
we're still doing groceries,
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:we're still resetting, and
that's not truly a day of rest.
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:So that's my encouragement to you is this
Sunday, have a true true day of rest.
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:Try to do any reset things that you
need to do a Friday or Saturday so
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:you don't have to do it on Sunday.
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:And just a gentle reminder
as we close out here soon.
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:You were never created to be productive.
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:You were created to abide.
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:That's what you were created for,
to know love and serve God not
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:to perform, not to be productive,
not to get your to-do list done.
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:You are created to walk with
God, not sprint ahead of him.
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:Okay, so.
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:This next week, I really encourage
you to be in tune with the Lord, to
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:take time to pray every day and ask
him, where do you want me today?
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:God, how can I follow you today?
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:God, what does that look
like in my vocation today?
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:God, and if you needed the permission
to let go of something or to rest
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:or give yourself a brain break or
a social media break, here it is.
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:You can let go.
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:You can slow down and
you will still be loved.
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:You'll still be held.
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:You'll still be on time
in God's perfect plan.
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:Trust me, there's nothing we
can do to mess up God's plan.
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:So that's my encouragement
for you this week.
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:let's just close out with a prayer.
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:In the name of the Father and of
the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
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:Amen.
398
:Dear Jesus, we lay down everything that
is on our to-do list and everything
399
:that we were not meant to carry,
that you didn't ask us to carry.
400
:The expectations, the
pressure, the endless to-dos.
401
:We just ask for your peace to
fill the spaces where we've been
402
:striving instead of abiding.
403
:And we ask that you help us
to be still and to know that
404
:you are God and we are not.
405
:We ask that you would help us release
our tendency to be self-reliant, and
406
:that instead you would teach us to trust.
407
:To trust that you're working.
408
:Even when we're resting.
409
:Let us be women who walk slowly,
intentionally, prayerfully
410
:always, always in step with you.
411
:We ask this all through most
holy name, and we ask for the
412
:intercession of your mother, Mary.
413
:Amen.
